episode_0093

“I think I’m going blind….”

What am I saying again?

After blinking a few times, I spoke to Siwoo.

With the gunpowder disappearing and my heart remaining, I was a person who didn’t know how to retreat.

“Why? Can’t I look at you like this?”

We exchanged silent glances for a long time.

Even when people looked around wondering what we were doing, we didn’t move.

As the line grew longer, and it was time for us to move towards that direction, Siwoo finally spoke.

“Sure. Look as much as you want. If you look at me like that, I like it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Anytime. Just stare at me as much as you want whenever you miss me.”

“Got it.”

I’ll keep looking at you until the performance starts. That’s fine, right? I can see you as much as I want. Your face is the face I like. The more I look at it, the more my heart races and my energy soars.

“……”

“……”

The eye battle where neither of us gives up started like that, and Siwoo blinked first, declaring defeat.

“You lost.”

“We didn’t even start the eye battle.”

“You implicitly agreed. In your mind. Agree?”

“Ugh. Fine. What do you want me to do?”

“Come here.”

I went behind Siwoo and poked my arm into his side. Siwoo’s body twitched.

Soon, from head to chest, my upper body leaned slightly against his back. Siwoo’s body started to shake like a pressure cooker about to explode.

“Wait. Are you breaking the contract?”

I forgot to even consider presenting a disagreement, too busy being defeated by the softness of his chest.

I chuckled and pulled the hand wrapped around his chest slightly upwards. He tried to avoid my touch by pushing his stomach back, but that only brought us closer.

“Hey. Hey?!”

Just before Siwoo screamed, I quietly stepped back. I shouldn’t push it any further. He doesn’t like overly aggressive women.

“Hehehe.”

Just tease him a little. Step back at the right moment. Then, when he least expects it, poke him. Just return what he did to me.

I confidently lifted Siwoo’s chin, looking at his face.

“Oh. Oops. I violated the terms. What should I do? Cancel the contract?”

A warm gaze filled with complex emotions pierced my nose.

It stung, but I could bear it. Now, tell me. What should I do?

“Cancel it. But I want you to confirm the contract extension.”

Embarrassed, Siwoo avoided eye contact, but his words were honest. I chuckled and playfully hit his back.

“Okay!”

Did he think my answer was too quick? Siwoo pinched my cheek, questioning my sincerity.

“… You wouldn’t.”

“Really? Wasn’t that what you wanted?”

“Don’t be childish. Just tell me honestly. Do you think I can’t read your mind?”

“Then guess. What am I thinking?”

He whispered softly in my ear, as if doing ASMR.

“You never intended to end the contract from the beginning.”

My thought process malfunctioned for a moment, but it was just a moment. I fixed my expression and looked straight at Jung Siwoo.

“No, I did. I was going to end it if you acted foolishly.”

“Now you’re not even changing your expression and lying.”

“What are you saying?”

Siwoo tapped his chest and said.

“Think about it. The outcome is already decided, right?”

Right.

In the end, we are destined to be together.

…Or not.

“What are you talking about? When did I ever like you?”

Siwoo was about to say something with a bewildered expression but stopped himself. Then he untangled my hand from his waist and distanced himself from me.

“Oh, why.”

He laughed as if it was ridiculous when I made a disappointed sound.

“To regain your memory, you said. Think about what you did.”

Asking to be petted. Asking to be touched on the cheek. Holding hands. Poking from the side. Hugging from behind.

My best to remove the explosives…

“But that wasn’t explosives, was it?”

No, I was just packaging my actions as I pleased, following my heart’s desires.

Why would someone do such things? Because the other person likes it.

Min Chaewon likes Jung Siwoo. That’s why she did it.

“Ah.”

A blush spread across my face. Unable to hide my embarrassment, I turned around and ran into the women’s restroom.

“Hey, hey!”

Siwoo followed me, but he couldn’t follow me into the restroom.

I stood in front of the mirror. My flushed face looked like a ripe tomato. I was the epitome of a girl in love. Despite shaking my head in denial, my realization only became clearer.

“I like you. Yes… I was liking you…”

For 14 years, I loved Jung Siwoo. That’s why I built a cultural center, came to Korea under the pretext of inspecting it, and spent time playing the piano at a cafe where Siwoo might appear.

We eventually met and exchanged brief greetings. Embarrassed, I pretended not to know him and ran away. Eventually, the next day, I confessed and apologized.

Because I like him.

Because I like him so much it drives me crazy.

Because I’ve loved Jung Siwoo for my whole life.

“…Huh?”

The caretaker.

The explosives warehouse caretaker!

Are you coming to your senses?

There was a massive explosion. Everything around is in chaos. Can you see it? This area has turned into a sea of fire. The fire won’t go out. The caretaker needs to contain it. If this continues, the explosives warehouse will never be rebuilt—

“It’s noisy, I’ll handle it myself.”

I silenced the nagging voice in my mind.

I turned on cold water and gently massaged my face, then lifted my head to look at the mirror.

There was a girl in love. She had already fallen head over heels in love, so she didn’t care about her past anymore.

Yes. The memories of a human who had lived for 24 years had been overlaid on this girl’s body.

But whose body was this memory settling in? If Min Chaewon’s stomach had been replaced by Jung Siwoo’s parts, was it Min Chaewon or Jung Siwoo?

In this issue with no clear answer, I chose to run away. I chose to accept reality without facing the truth.

Did I make this choice without much thought? Not at all.

I made this choice for Jung Siwoo’s future.

As a part of the past, the object of Chaewon’s love, and the companion of the future.

By becoming one with Chaewon, I was able to break everything I had built and take a step forward. Thanks to that, I could witness a different color of dust that Jung Siwoo might not have seen.

The road ahead is still long, but the possibility has opened up. If it’s for Jung Siwoo. If it’s for Min Chaewon.

I must continue to run to the end while looking at one path. In this process, worries are unnecessary. They are just obstacles that hold back my future and delay the time to face reality.

The voice in my heart cries out again.

Caretaker, don’t give up. It can be rebuilt. Let’s build it stronger and safer. If you give up, who will handle the explosives management?

I took out a hidden grenade and threw it into the makeshift explosives warehouse with only chain-link fencing.

—Boom!

“Ha ha!”

The Joker laughs.

The startled director falls in love.

It was a massive explosion that would torment President Truman.

The ground where the explosives warehouse was located trembles rhythmically.

As I cleared away the dirt, the owner of the red emotions beneath the ground revealed themselves.

Thump thump. A lovely heart beat.

It was Morse code, telling me what I needed to do.

I smiled and ran out of the restroom.

Outside, Siwoo grabbed my outstretched hand.

“Are you okay? Why are you suddenly…?”

I know, Chaewon. I know your emotions are running wild. I know the timing is a bit awkward right now.

But, Jung Siwoo is someone who will accept any strange and awkward behavior from you. So, have confidence.

Both of us are inexperienced in relationships. So, even if things get messy, it’s okay. We can bump into each other here and there.

“Siwoo.”

As I held Siwoo’s hand, I let out the emotions that Chaewon had suppressed for 14 years.

“I… like you.”

I like Min Chaewon.

“I’ve liked you for 14 years. From when we first met in Austria to meeting again in Korea.”

I fell in love at first sight when we first met 14 years ago. I fell in love again when you returned to Korea.

But I couldn’t be honest. I lacked confidence because I couldn’t become the man who suits you. You didn’t have to think about that. You kept waiting for me without knowing, and I kept hesitating.

Aren’t you lucky? Siwoo in front of me is not like the me from my past life. You don’t have to be thankful. It’s just correcting the mistakes I made before.

“I’m sorry for only saying it now. I wanted to say it earlier—.”

Siwoo, who was listening, cut me off.

And then, in a way unlike Jung Siwoo, he looked at me with burning eyes and said,

“Let’s get rid of any contracts. Let’s date properly.”

What a pathetic man. It seems like he wanted to confess.

Yes, take the lead and do whatever you want. Do your best to make Min Chaewon happy. That’s the right answer. It’s the only way to repay 14 years of unrequited love.

“I love you, Min Chaewon.”

In my heart, a shining signal shot up.

All the darkness that was hindering the recovery of memories suddenly disappeared.

Memories from when I was six years old came pouring in like a flood.

The happiness of all the days spent with Chaewon finally reached my heart.

— Can you hear it now?

The 0th self, which I thought had disappeared, speaks to me.

— Your unfinished performance from your past life.