episode_0072

“Why are you acting like this?”

After carefully extinguishing the sparks that flew out of the fireworks store, I slowly closed the distance between me and Jung Siwoo.

I kept a minimum distance, afraid that getting too close might trigger a seizure if even a piece of clothing brushed against him.

The fireworks store is filling up at an alarming rate. The amount of explosives being produced has increased compared to before. I have no idea where all this is being produced.

“Oh, no. Let’s go get some coffee.”

He didn’t come out to escort me because the night streets are dangerous.

He probably thought that my tendency to leave after saying what I wanted to say had reached its end by now.

“It’s still bright out. I just came out in case.”

“…?”

“You can’t let a girl walk alone at night.”

That was dangerous just now. Stop reacting, Chaewon. If you keep this up, I might fall for you.

I can understand Siwoo predicting and acting on his own. After dinner, as I thought about it carefully on my way home, I realized that I was anxious about wandering the streets alone.

It’s because Yoon Jichang would just go home without protecting me, and it was obvious that I would be worried even though it’s not a dangerous neighborhood.

I’ve helped Chaewon return home a few times before she went back to Austria.

If I had known that Chaewon liked me this much, I should have tried earlier.

“Indeed, people shouldn’t get hurt.”

“Seeing you say that, you seem to be much better now.”

Maintaining a proper distance, I calmed my startled heart without him noticing.

I’ve calmed down. Let’s calm down my racing heart.

— Tock.

When I turned my head, all I could see was Siwoo’s hand.

His large hand carefully held my small finger.

What is this?

What is this?

What is this, what is this, what is it?

Tap, I raised my head and stared at Siwoo.

I wanted to ask what he meant by this.

Oh, I should probably remove my finger first.

He was frozen like someone who had stuck chopsticks in a socket.

“What’s up all of a sudden?”

“Why?”

“What. What is it?”

“What do you mean?”

The conversation took a direction that was so incomprehensible that I wondered if it was right to continue.

What does Siwoo want to say?

“No. Why did you hold my finger?”

Siwoo grinned and shrugged.

“Just because.”

Where did that ‘just because’ come from? He probably held it because Chaewon likes it. Why doesn’t he just say it honestly?

If I keep beating around the bush like this, Chaewon will be disappointed. If you’re going to do it, do it boldly—.

“Oh. What am I thinking.”

Just now, my mind wandered off to a very dangerous development.

It felt like watching a scene where the future with the person who got hit on the shoulder flashes by like a mirage.

I subtly distanced myself from Siwoo again.

I extinguished the sparks that had attached to the fireworks store.

And, deep breath—.

— Tock.

“Ouch! You crazy man!”

“Ow!”

I kicked Siwoo’s calf and started running.

This crazy guy, this crazy guy. He caught me again. I just put out the fire.

Will you take responsibility if it explodes? Will you really take responsibility?

It’s okay for me to touch my own body now, but I still don’t want you to touch it.

I was startled by the thought of dating myself, and Chaewon was excited by the touch of someone she likes.

The two emotions mixed together, making it impossible to distinguish one from the other.

“Wait, why are you running away? There’s no cafe over there!”

“Stop!”

As I stood still, Siwoo also stopped panting.

We stood a few meters apart, panting heavily, staring at each other intently.

The cool breeze of a late spring night passed by, tousling our hair.

“What are you thinking? Do you remember? Is it me inside?”

“I know.”

“You know, but you’re still going to do it?!”

“So what’s different?”

“It’s different!”

“It’s the same to me.”

And that crazy guy.

How much brainwashing has he done?

As long as it’s just the appearance of Min Chaewon, does it matter who’s inside?

“No… maybe I was like that too…?”

I understand, but I can’t understand being inside.

My goal was to capture Jung Siwoo, but I can’t accept this rapid development.

“You said you would wait until Chaewon comes back?!”

“I said that.”

Siwoo stood up straight, confidently spewing out nonsense.

“In my eyes, that Chaewon and you are the same.”

Chaewon, that was a really hurtful thing to say just now.

No? Not at all? Really? Why?

… Because I’m Min Chaewon?

The concept is a bit tangled, but still, consciousness is undoubtedly—.

“Even if you and I share the same consciousness. So what?”

“……”

“Our bodies are completely different. Even my preferences. Is it wrong to show that I like it?”

The devil of the subconscious shouts. It’s all true, isn’t it? Don’t try to deny it.

Even if I were Jung Siwoo, it’s natural to be attracted to Min Chaewon, who has such low defenses.

But, but.

“Why are you so aggressive?”

“… Is that a problem?”

“No. It’s just that. If you were me, wouldn’t you know?”

The noble being Min Chaewon. Me, who couldn’t get close to her and was worried. If we shared those memories, I wouldn’t understand why she’s so aggressively pursuing me.

Even if her defenses are low, being able to just touch me like that—.

“You started it first.”

“I did?!”

“Yeah. You started it.”

Siwoo grimaced and started approaching me confidently. With his steps, I also took a step back.

“If I had a repulsion towards myself, why would I come so close to you? Asking to touch my cheek subtly. Asking to pat my head. Why would I do such foxy things?”

“Foxy things…?”

“No? Do you really think not?”

“That, there must be a reason for that…….”

It was just a part of the bomb disposal team’s duties.

To stabilize this body to give Min Chaewon all the chances at crucial moments.

I have never done anything like foxy things.

“You might have had a reason. But if that’s the case, I should understand, right? If we share the same consciousness.”

“That… that’s true.”

“But I can’t understand. Why did you do those actions?”

Why can’t I understand? If I put myself in your shoes….

‘Ah.’

It’s not going to work.

Siwoo has never experienced being inside Min Chaewon’s body.

He doesn’t know how a girl’s overflowing affection can shake a body.

“If you want me to understand, explain it so I can understand. Otherwise, I can only perceive you and me as different beings.

Even if I think we share the same consciousness, I’m still attracted like this. Even if I realize that our consciousness is slightly different. That feeling keeps getting stronger. And yet you expect me to stop? Then I shouldn’t have been tempted like that.”

I was overlooking the fact that Siwoo would naturally feel the emotions that only I feel.

Because our environments are completely different, barriers are gradually forming between us.

“… I’m sorry.”

I bowed my head deeply.

It was my fault for not considering Siwoo’s emotions at all in favor of prioritizing bomb disposal.

“I’m sorry. I’ll refrain from now on.”

“Don’t refrain.”

“What?”

“You don’t need to refrain.”

With confident strides, he closed the distance in an instant, using his long legs.

Walking with Relka had strengthened my legs, but it was impossible to overcome the physical difference.

Suddenly blocking my path, Siwoo lowered his posture as much as possible and said to me.

“I know you’re a Confucian girl. It’s obvious since I was a Confucian boy. If the problem is just ambiguous skinship without properly defining anything. That’s right.”

Fast.

The development is too fast.

So fast that my head can’t keep up.

“Let’s have a proper relationship. That’s all we need to do.”

Siwoo, who doesn’t know how to maintain the speed of dating, seems to have had a blocked experience of confessing once, so he is even more unhesitant.

As someone who has no related experience, I just stutter and stumble. It’s confusing. I don’t even know what to do.

Both of us are awkward, not knowing what’s right or wrong.

We can’t know. We just rely on instinct as things flow.

What should I do?

Chaewon, what’s the right answer here?

…Ah, you don’t know either.

Right. Since we both know nothing, it’s natural.

“Th… That’s all we have to do, right…?! Isn’t it?”

Min Chaewon had no intention of rejecting Jung Siwoo’s confession.

Even now, my mouth is trying to say ‘okay’ on its own.

My consciousness is barely holding onto my tongue caught in the trigger.

He’ll come.

When it becomes a dangerous moment, he’ll definitely come.

We promised to do that.

Can I trust him? I believe in him?

“Uh… Uh…. Th… Uh……”

I’ve made up my mind, but my mouth won’t easily speak.

I’m worried if I can really say this.

I’ll do it. I’ll say it.

Really, I’ll say it.

“That—!”

“I got it. I’ll give you time to think.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll come to your house next Monday morning for a walk job, so answer me then.”

“Wait a minute!”

“I’m going!”

Whether he was afraid I would immediately reject him or not, Siwoo turned his back and walked away from me.

In that moment, instinct took over my heart.

Even knowing that an accident would happen at the end of speeding, my body commanded me.

As if, it couldn’t be missed twice.

“Just a moment.”

I sprinted and grabbed Siwoo’s wrist.

His raised cheek. And his trembling voice.

“I’ll buy you coffee, so take it with you….”

What am I trying to say?