episode_0060

“Do you want to see me cosplaying?”

Jung Siwoo responded without a hint of hesitation.

“Yeah.”

He answered so confidently that for a moment, I thought it wasn’t Siwoo.

“What’s so confident about that?”

“It’s not wrong to say you want to see something you want to see.”

What’s going on? Is early education already paying off?

Siwoo didn’t stop there and even started questioning me.

“What else are you hiding? Why are you revealing everything like peeling an onion layer by layer? It’s unsettling.”

“…Not really? It’s not that much.”

If he heard about Baek Cheong-ha’s private tutoring, he would be shocked.

“And come to think of it…”

Without Song Seong-hyuk, we can’t edit and upload videos.

Even if we take him, can Siwoo handle meeting Song Seong-hyuk face to face?

“Listen. I have one condition for taking you.”

“A condition?”

“Don’t be surprised if you meet someone.”

Siwoo’s worried expression intensified.

Not knowing who he was imagining, I immediately showed him a picture.

It was a photo left behind by the pension owner who suggested taking a picture together when we went to the studio.

In the middle were the owner and Strelka, while I and Song Seong-hyuk were on the sides.

“What’s with this Santa Claus…”

“It’s so cool. I was really surprised when I first saw it.”

“…Wait. Isn’t this Song Seong-hyuk?”

I waited for Siwoo’s question with a patient face, ready to answer anything.

“Were you friends with Song Seong-hyuk?”

Thinking about what to say that would reassure Siwoo the most.

“Yeah. He’s our channel editor, PD, and cameraman.”

I decided to just explain it as a business relationship.

Since Song Seong-hyuk didn’t want the world to know that he was sponsored by Margaret Hebler.

If it were Jeon, he would have ranted, thinking, ‘Damn Alpha Mail, die!’ But in my absence, he took care of Chae-won a lot. He showed many humane aspects. He also reminded me of past memories that I couldn’t recall, so his image has improved quite a bit.

If Siwoo disliked him in the past, that wasn’t the case.

Rather than jealousy, he envied him.

“And who is this Santa here?”

“He’s the studio owner.”

“I see.”

I scooped up a spoonful of ice cream and fed it to the guy who had been staring at the photo with a complex expression for a few minutes.

I handed him a napkin to wipe off the ice cream around his mouth.

“Well, it’s not like we’re alone.”

“But when we go and come back, we are.”

“…”

“Why, do you want to go together every time?”

Oh, Siwoo is burning up.

He’s burning brightly, the firewood is really good.

“I’ll go.”

“But Song Seong-hyuk’s car is a two-seater.”

“What about another car?”

Unfortunately, I don’t have a driver’s license or a car.

If I ask Kang Hwi, he might lend me one. But Siwoo doesn’t have a license either. So Song Seong-hyuk has to drive in the end.

“I’ll ask as a favor for now.”

“I never thought about it. I didn’t know you were helping with video shooting on weekends.”

“You also edit videos. You’re more diligent than I thought.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I thought you were a 4D pianist lost in the world, but you’re not.”

After talking excitedly, Siwoo’s expression darkened.

“Even so… you’re good at making friends.”

Ah, that was a mistake just now.

“Hey, hey.”

I called him, tapping the table with the spoon.

“I know what you’re thinking. Don’t feel inferior. There’s no need for that at all.”

“…”

“I’m serious. Honestly, you’re better in terms of tactics and skills.”

“You’re saying that because it’s me. Other people don’t think like that.”

Darkness gathered on his face.

It seems like Siwoo is gradually sinking into a sense of inferiority.

“There’s only one week left until complete recovery…”

If he rejects Yoon Ji-chang and secretly goes to practice, everything will be ruined.

I have to stop him.

I reached out and gently cupped his cheek, just like he had helped me before.

With a warm touch, I expressed my sincerity through words.

“With your perfect skills and techniques, once you perfect your color, who in this world can keep up with you? It’s like a penalty from the gods because other musicians might despair.”

Having had similar thoughts in the past, I knew well how to boost his spirits.

I had repeated to myself countless times the words I wished someone would say to me, unable to fall asleep.

“Even if it’s just words, thank you.”

Siwoo carefully removed my hand from his cheek.

“Thank you. I think the same way.”

“…While we’re on the subject.”

Whether he wanted to cool his head or not, Siwoo scooped a big spoonful of ice cream and put it in his mouth.

The rush of excitement running through his body from the cold ice cream.

After swallowing what was in his mouth, he continued speaking.

“You. What did you do?”

“What?”

“Is it because of Chaewon’s body? Your playing… seems a bit different from what I knew.”

Ah, he must be referring to that video I made to tease Yoon Jiyu.

“I found my color.”

“As expected…!”

“But it’s not perfect yet. It takes time for Chaewon’s body to adapt… and the color has only started to become richer recently.”

Siwoo stared at me as if he had found the answer.

“Tell me the answer you found. Share it with me.”

“Don’t rush it. Wait patiently. If you put in a little effort, it will be perfect.”

“So, if I copy that?”

Jung Siwoo had perfectly read my thoughts.

“Uh…”

“It was a eureka moment, right?”

I would have thought so.

…But it’s a difficult concept to grasp without the experience I have now with Chaewon.

Am I thinking too much while lying down…?

“Because you know what I’m best at.”

“…That’s right.”

“But you started looking for the answer first.”

I nodded.

“Thinking like that, the next step… that’s what it seems like it should be. If I’m wrong, correct me.”

I shook my head. Jung Siwoo had seen it accurately.

Well, things might progress more smoothly than I thought.

“But I don’t want to do it that way.”

…I thought that, but my stubbornness came out.

A strong will for self-renewal.

“I thought I would have to persuade you eventually…”

There was a big problem with my plan to pass on Chaewon’s color to Siwoo as it is.

“That’s not my color. It’s Chaewon’s color.”

In pursuit of his own color, Jung Siwoo’s desire does not allow imitation.

After dedicating himself for 14 years and then another 3 years, he must be crazy.

“I’ll figure it out on my own. You just have to teach me.”

“Sorry. It’s not Chaewon’s color, it’s the color that Chaewon and I created together.”

“So, it’s not my color.”

“…Aren’t you forgetting? I’m you. You’re me?”

Jung Siwoo was momentarily speechless.

“I forgot for a moment.”

His response left me momentarily speechless.

“No. How could you.”

About to say something but swallowing my words, Jung Siwoo.

I immediately spoke in his place.

“You’ll understand when you put yourself in my shoes, right?”

“This… I’m sorry to say this to you. Honestly, it’s starting to get confusing.”

“After seeing you for a few days…?”

“No. What can I do? Because of the appearance, even speaking like me doesn’t feel awkward anymore. It just looks like I’m talking to someone similar to Chaewon.”

It might be a good thing.

If Jung Siwoo is at that level, then to others, I must look just like the real Min Chaewon.

Chaewon wanted freedom, but I wanted to live like Chaewon. And I am living well as I had hoped.

“No. Even so. Even if we share the same essence.”

However, despite reminding ourselves that we are the same being, convincing Siwoo was a failure.

“I think the piano essence is different.”

We understand that our thoughts cannot always be the same.

But that doesn’t mean I can force Siwoo to listen to me, begging him to do so.

We should be beings who respect each other, and we know that. We both think of each other the most. We know very well what is best.

“What do you think?”

I quietly set down my spoon. And for a moment, I looked at the reflection of me and Siwoo on the shining wooden table.

Our outward appearance is so different that we can’t recognize each other as the same being. We reached a common agreement that our inner selves are the same, but…

It was just an implicit agreement to prevent confusion. We both know that we can never be completely the same.

Being realistic and analytical, we know this very well.

Different bodies. Different environments. Different surroundings. Even though we started from the same line, after a month has passed, we have grown considerably apart, and after another month, we will grow even further apart.

“You’re right. Our piano essences can’t be the same.”

I just realized.

The me from three years ago was more capable than I thought.

Even after living three more years, I was still a clever person who could be easily persuaded.

I thought I was struggling in the swamp of endless inferiority complex. But in fact, on solid ground, I might have been floundering like a fool, seeing illusions.

If only there was someone to lift the fog obscuring my vision.

If I could have looked at myself straight, without wandering, and moved straight towards a goal without hesitation.

I could have become a completely different person.

Just like having the current me, who has become Min Chaewon, by my side like Jong Siwoo.

“So, should we meet often?”

Since I gave the me from three years ago a hard time, I should give it back.

The future me knows how to see the forest, not just the trees. I have become cunning enough to achieve what I want in every situation.

“That’s right. To inherit the breakthrough you discovered.”

“Then, apart from following you during video shoots, let’s meet at least once a week.”

“…If you contact me first like now?”

“You know your class schedule, but the lessons change every week. So, check the professor’s lesson schedule and let me know when we should meet.”

If you want to restrain Jong Siwoo, it’s essential to block off his escape routes and press on like this.

Yoon Jiyu really used that method well.

Meet, set the next appointment. Decide clearly what to do. Imprint where to go.

It was a strategy that required a lot of effort from the woman’s side than I thought.

Fortunately, I am like Bill Gates right now.

I have a lot to do, but still, I am more relaxed than when I lived with Jong Siwoo.

Look at it now. I’ve come a long way, but in the end, haven’t I achieved what I wanted?

Jong Siwoo, who was originally half mine, is now over 75%.

“Got it. I’ll contact you first every week. Is that okay?”

This is the fight of adults, pure and simple.

Prepare to declare surrender.