episode_0038

The traffic control is almost over, but it’s still just the beginning.

Maybe three years ago, I would have had various thoughts before going to bed.

How should I treat myself in the future, can I really believe everything I said, what happened to Chaewon…

I’m in the same boat.

I could have taken a taxi, but I chose to walk all the way to the hotel.

There’s no better activity than taking a walk to clear your mind.

“If Chaewon doesn’t come back in three years…”

I might have brushed it off when I read the letter, but it’s important to be prepared for any future possibilities.

It’s really, really not something I wish for.

But if I have to live out the rest of Chaewon’s life, there are two things I need to keep in mind.

One is figuring out who she really likes.

The current candidates are Jung Siwoo and Song Seonghyuk.

Logically, it seems like Song Seonghyuk is way ahead, but considering that Chaewon registered me with the Kanghwi Cultural Foundation, I’m not completely behind.

“Chaewon said she would naturally figure it out as she lives her life…”

What does that mean?

Will I find out by running Aclert with Song Seonghyuk and meeting Jung Siwoo?

“Even though the balance is completely messed up…”

But the situation changed completely when Siwoo and I revealed our identities to each other.

For the sake of fairness, I can’t tell Song Seonghyuk my secret.

Siwoo said it himself. Apart from her parents and herself, no one knows about Chaewon’s multiple personalities. Trying to reveal it carelessly could cause trouble, so I have to refrain.

“Or… would I find out if all my identities change to look like Chaewon?”

When I played in Chaewon’s style, my first identity changed to look like Chaewon.

Even now, a very small number of my identities look like Chaewon, unlike my other identities that have a completely different appearance. Because these changed identities have a subtle pink hue, my inner world, which was as dark as deep night, has brightened a bit.

Whether I want to or not, I have to immerse myself in Chaewon’s performance for NewTube.

As time goes by, the answer may naturally emerge.

“Next. The second thing to keep in mind…”

Just thinking about this is quite frightening.

If Chaewon doesn’t come back, I have to live on in her place.

I can’t refuse or neglect her life. I am Jung Siwoo, but at the same time, I am also Min Chaewon 26, so I have a responsibility to take care of this body.

Even if I’m considered a non-regular worker for three years. If Chaewon doesn’t come back even after achieving my goals, I may have to become a regular worker by force.

The only fortunate thing is that I have a reliable support group.

I may find it difficult to adapt on my own, but thanks to Kanghwi and the Maid Legion, I can avoid wandering around like a beggar.

“In a way, I was lucky.”

And didn’t I give myself a three-year grace period?

I don’t have to change my identities right away.

Just like how my La Campanella slowly changed over 14 years.

Just like getting wet in the drizzle, I just have to slowly get used to this life.

In the beginning, I was even afraid to take off my clothes for the first few days. Now, I can confidently step into the bathtub without hesitation.

I still avoid looking at Chaewon’s body directly through the mirror. But there’s no denying the significant progress.

“But still.”

However, my ultimate wish remains the same as when I first became Chaewon or even now.

Perhaps, it will be the same even after three years.

“I hope she comes back.”

Even if I disappear, I hope that the rightful owner of this body, Min Chaewon, comes back.

Thinking of her, whom I wanted to see today, I placed my hand on my chest and conveyed this feeling deep within.

***

After the storm passed, Jung Siwoo lay on the bed, trying to clear his clouded mind.

“…It was me.”

The verification of his thoughts was so perfect that there was no need for further questioning.

Min Chaewon was clearly speaking about Siwoo’s memories in Siwoo’s tone.

It was hard to believe because it was Min Chaewon.

Siwoo, who tried to deny it several times, finally came to his senses as he continued to be hit by emerging memories of the past.

The story of his parents’ accident was told directly by Professor Baek Jung-eon, only to Siwoo.

Neither Professor Baek’s family nor his wife knew about it.

Even if Min Chaewon was a stalker, it would be impossible to find out.

One could come up with a ridiculous scenario like, “She’s an amazing hacker who searched all kinds of information!” but Siwoo was sure that it was him.

What more explanation was needed?

“Even the way she plays is exactly like mine.”

Siwoo’s La Campanella, which he had meticulously crafted from the age of six, incorporating the strengths of various maestros, was something that could only be replicated after experiencing the same 14 years.

To play it at about 0.9x speed. It was impossible for anyone other than someone who had watched Siwoo for 14 years or Siwoo himself. That’s why he initially suspected her of being a stalker.

Fortunately, Chaewon was not a stalker, and Siwoo was relieved.

The truth was more shocking than that.

“But that performance… was different.”

Anyway, was it a bit of a consolation to see Chaewon off?

The ending of the piece Yoon Jichang took to tease my sister.

In that short video, Siwoo saw a glimmer of light.

“It was definitely a completely different color.”

As Siwoo, who had become Min Chaewon, knew how to play his own piece, he could also play a mysterious color.

It was ambiguous to say that it was Min Chaewon’s performance he had witnessed at the cafe. It was like painting with watercolors and then mixing all the colors into a murky paint pot…

At least it wasn’t a completely black like Siwoo’s.

“She’s already one step ahead of me.”

A sense of relative deprivation and envy. Various emotions were directed towards the self inside Min Chaewon. But it wasn’t fueled by inferiority. Siwoo was now looking up at Min Chaewon.

A perfect woman in appearance, she was even guiding Siwoo through the tasks of life that had been assigned to him. Except for the fact that he himself was inside her, she was flawless.

He felt the urgency to catch up with his peers.

Did he realize that another self was already paving the way? The sense of relief gradually led Siwoo from impatience to tranquility.

“…Hmm.”

The thorn-covered rose that had to be only looked at was now gone. The situation where the conversation was interrupted like a dotted line due to caution was no longer there.

The conversation between the current Siwoo and Min Chaewon was like a malfunctioning locomotive without brakes. They were so perfectly in sync that if one of them left their place, the rails would endlessly run.

“While we’re at it, should we form a sibling relationship?”

“A… sibling?”

The reason Siwoo was about to realize the truth?

It was nothing special.

After raising a sense of intimacy, a situation was suddenly emerging where an insurmountable wall was about to be erected. Even a man who knew nothing about dating instinctively realized that a red light was flashing.

“…Honestly, it was a bit risky.”

He was grateful to Yoon Jichang.

If the atmosphere hadn’t changed, Min Chaewon wouldn’t have been able to raise the suspicion of being a stalker. If that had been the case, she wouldn’t have been able to figure out that she was herself.

If it had passed by smoothly, Jungsieo inside Min Chaewon might have hidden himself forever after this crisis.

He must have kept his distance in fear of another confession. While he avoided building walls, a deep ocean might have been constructed instead.

“I must be a fool for not noticing….”

Was Jungsieo inside Min Chaewon constantly giving hints to be found out?

Rather than being endlessly kind to others, was he actually a picky person towards himself?

Look straight into people’s eyes. Don’t cower. Don’t apologize unconditionally.

These were words meant to renew oneself through the eyes of others.

So after realizing everything, I even felt grateful.

He was playing the role of a good teacher who helped correct bad habits.

“Please don’t treat me like a doll….”

Everything was fine, but if only she hadn’t said that before leaving, it would have been better….

The pure words that described her in his mind like a pianist to emulate or a life mentor, were changed into a first love, a lustful partner with just that one word.

“This is a total disaster….”

No matter how much his mind insisted that he was Jungsieo, every sense in his body except his head shouted, “This is Min Chaewon!”

From his face, voice, body shape, down to the texture of his skin.

There was not a single part that wasn’t Min Chaewon.

“If I become Chaewon, I should be careful….”

The softness that touched his shoulder earlier is still vivid.

Why are women so irresistibly soft?

Truly, they are monsters that drive men crazy.

Especially if such a woman has no guard up.

Always looking at him with trusting eyes.

How can one not have bad thoughts?

In order to embrace the woman a man likes, Jungsieo realized only at the age of twenty that he would not hesitate to use any means necessary.

He had definitely sworn, “I shouldn’t touch her because she’s me.” But now he’s thinking, “Because she’s me, wouldn’t I grant such a request?” A man ensnared by desire is truly weak.

However, his worries do not end there. A clueless girl wanders the streets, being kind to everyone without showing any signs of malice.

“Although there’s always someone nearby to protect her….”

The greatest responsibility always lies with those closest.

At the very least, when with Min Chaewon, Jungsieo must be the first person to protect her.

The current Min Chaewon would easily brush off any touch or contact that comes from protecting her.

But each time, Jungsieo’s instincts will react, and the self-disgust of getting excited by it will torment him.

Isn’t Jungsieo a busy man pouring all his energy into playing the piano?

He couldn’t afford to waste precious time by fretting.

“What if I change my perspective…? Instead of thinking of Min Chaewon as Jungsieo inhabiting her body, what if I think of it as Jungsieo’s personality being overlaid onto Min Chaewon…?”

Simply changing the positions of the noun and the adjective, but with that simple adjustment, Jungsieo’s mind began to clear up gradually.

“This, it works.”