episode_0029

Though 0 and 1 led the Cheonwon Love Orchestra boldly,

The factions divided into three did not become one.

It was deemed impossible to encompass them all.

0’s influence is this weak, gathering a mere five members.

“Of course!”

0’s persona reassures me in reverse.

It’s true.

This is expected.

In my near-death state, Cheonwon’s share was this minimal.

I remember but acknowledge the impossibility of meeting her.

1, supporting 0 as fervently as before, seems remarkable.

Moreover, I am now playing a challenging piece with an unfamiliar body.

Trying to focus on the piece, only ‘La Campanella’ occupies my mind amidst the chaos.

Despite our conflicts, ProMind remains steadfast.

If only I could be like Song Seonghyuk, I might have soared as a perfect pianist.

These fragmented personas are essentially the flowers I failed to bloom.

Hence, a sense of regret lingers needlessly.

Drip by drip,

Sweat trickles down my jawline from my temples.

Tiny droplets gather, forming larger ones that leave marks on my sweater and skirt.

It’s exhausting. Too exhausting.

The energy poured into my arms slowly returns as a backlash.

I feel my muscles stiffening gradually.

“After this scale, the octaves!”

A climaxing piece.

Once the brief respite of ups and downs ends, the segment where you shake the bells simultaneously with four fingers begins.

An extreme hand jumping exercise up to eight times per second.

If I try to power through as before, I will surely falter.

Even when I was Jun Siwoo, it wasn’t solely about muscle strength.

I must consider the changed joint length and flexibility.

Reduce force compared to before, increase recoil.

Relax the wrists, widen the rotation angle.

Let go of the desire to land each note perfectly.

It’s okay to bend slightly if it feels wrong, spring up elastically for consecutive leaps.

Continuity is key.

Strive for individual perfection while pursuing the completion of the whole.

“Ready?”

0’s persona asks.

It’s okay to step down if you can’t handle it; a warm reassurance accompanies the question.

I won’t step down.

If I had considered stepping down, I would have probably given up the piano at a younger age.

I soar.

Higher, towards the sky, until I touch the sun.

The final theme melody.

Echoes of the intensified bell toll reverberate more forcefully than before.

I felt my fingers slipping slightly on the keys due to the flowing sweat.

I grit my teeth to prevent any further slippage.

It’s almost over now.

The final movement, the cadenza.

Emotions that peaked gradually subside.

And, the finale.

Clap.

Clap clap.

Clap clap clap clap clap.

“Wow.”

Lost in Yoon Jichang’s small exclamation,

The slight applause from the personas began to grow.

Still modest in scale,

The Cheonwon Love Orchestra has significantly increased in numbers since earlier.

“Hey, you played well, didn’t you? Seems like you practiced a lot.”

Perhaps due to heightened emotions, Cheonwon felt particularly prominent.

No, we were sitting in the same place.

The sweat on our bodies was shed together.

“It… It wasn’t easy…”

“No, you played well enough. Much better than Jun Siwoo, who thinks he’s a perfect performer.”

Feeling a sense of happiness,

Yoon Jichang’s sudden words caught me off guard.

“What?”

Frowning, I glared at Yoon Jichang.

“Oh. Um. This is a secret to that guy. I’ll keep your Accler’t status a secret too. Not gossip. Just so you know.”

“How is this not gossip?”

“No, no.”

Yoon Jichang gestured for me to come out and took a seat at the piano instead.

Swiftly running his handkerchief over the piano, he began playing La Campanella’s cadenza.

“See? Did you play it like this earlier?”

The reproduction of me, no, our performance by others.

“Ddara ddara ddara ddan—.”

“Wait! Just a moment….”

It was a disaster.

What kind of performance is this?

“Did I play it like that?”

“Yeah. Should I have recorded that part and played it back to you?”

“That’s fine.”

“Anyway. It felt like this. Something quite poignant. Do you understand?”

Why do I sound like a traveler meeting a formidable enemy who wants to live and is drying up in front of death?

“This is how Jung Siwoo plays.”

This time, it was La Campanella, copied from my previous performance.

Certainly, Yoon Jichang’s talent is amazing.

It wasn’t perfect, but my feeling was definitely alive.

It was astonishing how someone who doesn’t even practice could achieve that.

“Do you see the difference?”

“…Siwoo seems to play much better.”

“I never imagined Aclerct would give such an answer.”

“What?!”

“Nothing.”

Jung Siwoo’s style of playing flowed again.

And then, Yoon Jichang played our joint performance with Chaewon.

“…Ah.”

When placed side by side, the difference was clearly felt.

Just by embracing Chaewon a little more, the performance completely took on a different tone.

“You understand, right? What I’m trying to say.”

Yoon Jichang stood up from his chair, leaning against the grand piano and stroking his chin.

“Siwoo always gets comments from the professor.”

“Lacks color?”

“What? How does A know that?”

“Because we’re friends. You know.”

He looked at me with a suspicious gaze.

As if I had lied.

“It was a deeper relationship than I thought?”

“Deep… what? What do you mean?”

“No, it’s nothing. Anyway.”

I was aware.

That I was like a copycat, unable to express my own color and only reproducing others.

But I couldn’t overcome it.

Was the idea of wanting to learn something from others wrong?

Or was I always distant from myself?

The more experiences I had, the more I was swayed by others without finding myself. This was clearly reflected in my performance.

“Your technique and skill are perfect. It’s only been a month, but after listening for a while, it’s undeniable. You can master any challenging piece in a short time and surprise your peers with your ‘orthodox’ style of playing.”

I agree.

“But Siwoo, your playing lacks depth.”

… I agree.

“To be honest, I think Professor Baek Joong-eon is a bit of a villain. If he explained in more detail, it would be better, but he just said ‘lacks color.’”

“…?”

“Oh. This is a secret to Siwoo.”

“How do you know that?”

Yoon Jichang groaned, rolling his eyes.

“It’s just my guess and intuition. That kid doesn’t lack color; he has ‘too many colors.’”

“Too many colors?”

“See?”

He soon opened a drawing app on his phone and placed three colors—red, yellow, green—on a white background.

“What happens when you mix these colors?”

“Black is formed.”

“That’s it. It’s not white but black.”

“Black…?”

It turned black because there were too many colors mixed.

Therefore, similar to white, it gives the illusion of having no color at all.

“I’ve told Siwoo several times. That guy doesn’t listen unless it’s the professor’s words or goes in one ear and out the other.”

“…Ah.”

‘A legend of timing.’

When I first entered school, I was fed up with Yoon Jichang’s playful appearance, so I didn’t even listen to his advice.

After two and a half months of recovering from a rib injury, helping Yoon Jiyu for three months, I tried to help him again, but the timing was terrible.

When your ears are blocked by despair, there’s no way you can hear.

“Anyway, when you try to cram too many people’s styles into one piece, the intended message doesn’t come across well. When each person has different thoughts, consistency will be lost, right?”

Tap. Yoon Jichang’s fingertip points at me.

“However, our A. Aclerct was different. Just now in the performance, what? Desperate and thrilling. Those emotions were definitely conveyed. I thought I would die from the tickling!”

If my style has changed, it’s probably purely because of Chaewon’s influence.

The performance was possible because there was the 0th self and Chaewon’s body.

“I haven’t done anything… at all.”

Even if piercing advice is deeply engraved in the heart.

Can humans change so easily?

With Chaewon’s help, a classical piece full of her color was created, but as for Jung Siwoo?

“Even if I advise, it’s uncertain whether it will have a significant impact.”

Unless that guy unites these crazy people who establish their own consistent Colosseum or erect their egos that I copied and brought, there won’t be any change.

I will continue to remain as a black performer.

“But still, you never know.”

At least try, even if you regret saying ‘this wasn’t it.’

It can’t be said that Jung Siwoo doesn’t even try.

Because I gained an additional lifespan of three years that others don’t have.

“I am Jung Siwoo.”

So, I intend to move forward.

To overcome my stubbornly adhered-to musical style.

Not just accepting, but now creating anew.

“Anyway, will you upload some classics on the channel?”

Watching Yoon Jichang smile brightly, I lightly wiped away the dripping sweat.

If the Aclerct repertoire runs out and I still can’t arrange, then maybe I should discreetly bring it out for emergency use.

“Well, maybe in about 2 years. I’ll consider it.”

“Two years seem too far off….”

“I appreciate it.”