episode_0004

She just couldn’t interpret women’s language.

This quick-witted guy was so kind that it was almost a flaw.

He was always eager to help others, an eccentric who wanted to lend a hand.

So, saying something like this nonchalantly.

Even in front of the girl he liked, he could bring it up without hesitation.

“If you’re okay with it, how about staying over at our place tonight?”

Even if the roles between me and Siwoo were reversed, he probably would have said the same thing.

That’s how anxious I must have appeared in Siwoo’s eyes.

Maybe the me from three years ago was a more remarkable person than I thought.

Honestly, I was quite shaken by gratitude, to the point of significant wavering.

“Oh, um. Don’t misunderstand. It’s not about sharing a room. I can sleep outside. Go to a PC bang… You can even change the password as you wish. That would be more reassuring, right?”

Kicking out a patient who might not fall asleep properly due to aching ribs and then sleeping in that bed instead.

Not even Satan would do that.

“Are you crazy?”

“Uh, uh? Sorry.”

“I told you not to apologize unnecessarily.”

“Oh. Um. Sorry.”

“Ugh.”

Two people who should have casually parted ways and gone their separate paths end up spending a night together in one room. Will fate change?

“What does fate know.”

What I need to believe now is the butterfly effect, where a small choice could lead to significant repercussions in the future.

It’s not deterministic fatalism where whatever will happen will happen, no matter what.

All I desire is Siwoo’s survival and success as a pianist three years later.

The Siwoo from three years ago knew nothing about the ‘O’ in love.

Having lived as Siwoo for 24 years, I can guarantee that even if we lived in the same house, events like those in a romantic comedy would never happen.

Unless my mind suddenly goes haywire and I shout “Siwoo, I love you,” nothing of the sort would occur.

“From the start, being Siwoo, such a thing would never happen.”

Don’t dwell on it. Don’t be anxious.

Think and act positively like Chaewon.

Right now, I want to tuck Chaewon in safely.

I don’t want to leave sick Siwoo outside.

So, the answer was predetermined from the beginning.

“Alright, let’s go. To our house.”

Siwoo tilted his head.

“W—.”

I covered the mouth of the guy about to question.

“To your house!!”

***

Our house from three years ago was neat and pleasant.

“It was good back then….”

Excited for my first solo living experience, traces of my efforts in housekeeping were scattered around.

A precious home.

I had thought of nurturing it so well that I could live there for a lifetime.

Contrary to my hopes, as time passed, the house turned into a mess.

Engulfed in lessons, assignments, and concert preparations, neglecting my own self-care, did the house stand a chance?

There simply wasn’t any time to clean properly.

At best, I occasionally cleaned the increasingly messy bathroom with diluted bleach.

“Just a moment.”

Entering first, Siwoo checked the bathroom.

“Well, that should be hidden.”

Still, I seemed to be living somewhat like a human back then.

I had no recollection of using the items hidden in the bathroom since third grade.

Instead of wasting time, I had to bathe with sheet music or dance waltzes with the piano.

Abstaining from worldly pleasures?

Not difficult at all.

If you spend 18 hours a day on piano lessons, practice, and tutoring, anyone can do it.

“It’s modest, but feel free to rest.”

Unlike before, Siwoo seemed quite tense.

Thinking it might not be good for him to be too nervous, I said something I didn’t really mean.

“You’re not uncomfortable because of me, are you?”

“No. Absolutely not. Not at all uncomfortable.”

“Really?”

I gazed steadily at Siwoo.

You’re saying you’re not uncomfortable when Chaewon is right in front of you?

Like this? Like this?

“I’m really fine.”

As I approached, chin in hand, Siwoo blushed and averted his gaze.

Well, how could you not be uncomfortable?

When the person you like the most is right in front of you.

Dark thoughts may not be harbored, but attention must be paid to maintain sanity.

If you don’t have any thoughts, then you are not Jung Siwoo.

“Is your rib okay?”

“Probably? Better than earlier… I guess.”

It’s probably not okay.

Even with Chaewon Sung’s painkillers, there must be limits…

It won’t work.

I should put Siwoo to bed before he overexerts himself.

For rib injuries, one can only rely on natural healing, and without sufficient rest, recovery will be delayed.

‘Come to think of it….’

Without fully recovering, I worried about falling behind alone and pressured the professor into letting me take lessons.

The professor couldn’t resist my persistence and set a schedule for me.

The consequences of overdoing it came back as excruciating chest pains.

‘Two and a half months….’

Recovery could have taken a month, but due to hasty decisions, two and a half months were wasted.

Unfortunately, the first semester of that year was a time when Hanyang University invited famous musicians.

Even in a state of semi-illness, I tried to gain something, but with a body that could only listen, the limitations were clear.

I could force myself to sit at the keyboard, but I couldn’t ignore the professor’s warning about isolating myself if recovery was delayed beyond the planned time.

When the first semester ended and I heard the news of recovery from the doctor.

Regretting the wasted two months, I cried for the first time.

I still can’t forget the professor’s reaction at that moment.

Normally, he would have teased me or joked around, but this time he listened to me seriously and advised me kindly.

Looking back, I realize how foolish I was, but at that time, I was living as if chased by something.

Hanyang University was indeed a place full of monsters.

A piano department consisting of 40 students, with ten students per grade.

If there were shining stars like Song Seonghyuk, there were also shadows like me.

I didn’t show it, but I lived thinking that if skills were lined up, I would surely be at the top.

“Do you remember what the doctor said earlier?”

“To absolutely stay calm?”

“Yes. Absolutely. You must not push yourself at all.”

Siwoo nodded, understanding.

He responds well.

I can’t stick to him like glue.

How can I make sure he doesn’t overdo it and stays at home?

‘Come to think of it, that guy who used to focus on lessons and singing even skipped lessons just to hang out with Chaewon…?’

Anyway, there won’t be a lucky coincidence just because I’m here.

Even if that guy likes Chaewon a lot, he will never confess.

Since I don’t even know where Chaewon lives right now, maybe I should just move in here?

Then I can stop him from going to lessons recklessly.

‘No, that’s too simplistic.’

But I need to be careful.

The reason I missed lessons was that Chaewon contacted me after a whole month.

If I can see Chaewon every day, the rarity diminishes naturally.

Moreover, three years ago, I was under tremendous pressure.

If I had to choose between Chaewon of common grade and lessons, I would choose lessons even though I respect Liszt.

But just for a month.

If I wait that long, I might end up barging into this house first out of anxiety.

Suddenly showing up and saying “Don’t go to lessons!” would be strange. From Siwoo’s perspective, I might look like a stalker who knows his schedule inside out.

Or instead of living together, should I linger nearby and gaslight?

‘……’

Then the issue becomes the house.

Yes, let’s start by finding Chaewon’s house.

I need to solve my homelessness issue first and then think about the next steps.

Siwoo won’t leave the house this week because he’s in too much pain.

I am Jung Siwoo, so I cannot be wrong.

“Uh… Chaewon. Uh….”

“If you have something to say, say it properly.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Jung Siwoo, trainee.

Speak properly.

Don’t cower in front of women!

“Are you going to shower?”

Upon hearing the word ‘shower,’ I unconsciously tugged at the corner of my mouth.

No matter how tired the day was, I always ended it with a shower or bath.

The reason I found a one-room apartment with a bathtub was also for that purpose.

As I soaked my body in warm water while listening to the live performance of respectful musicians, all the fatigue of the day melted away, and inspiration struck out of nowhere.

“I saw there was a bathtub earlier. Can I take a bath?”

“Oh, go ahead.”

“What about you? If you want to, I’ll get the water ready after I bathe.”

“Ah.”

After asking, I realized belatedly.

Jung Siwoo was currently in no position to bathe.

“The doctor strictly advised against taking a bath… He even said to avoid hot showers. Keep them as short as possible.”

That’s right. He scared me with all sorts of dangerous words, mixing them up, talking about how heat stimulation would dilate blood vessels, exacerbating inflammatory swelling and erythema.

I can’t even play the piano properly due to rib pain, and now I can’t even shower or bathe properly.

How did I endure that month and a half?

“It wasn’t just impatience.”

There was also the anxiety of falling behind my peers.

And the frustration of not being able to do anything for a month straight.

So I pushed myself too hard, extending my rest period by a month and a half.

“I felt lonely too…”

The professor came by a few times, but he was so busy that I felt bad for inconveniencing him, saying he didn’t have to come.

I wanted to meet someone instead of suffering alone.

Three years ago, I insisted that I was used to being alone and acted arrogantly over trivial matters.

Bad memories indeed linger in the brain for a long time, remembering even the smallest details.

“Poor guy.”

Siwoo seemed uncomfortable under my gaze and busied himself avoiding eye contact.

I wish I could stay here and be my own companion.

But the limitations imposed by being Min Chaewon are not insignificant.

The longer we spend time together in the same space,

Misunderstandings will naturally accumulate.

Does Chaewon like me?

Is that why she keeps staying?

Absolutely not.

I’m just worried about the pitiful me from three years ago!

I wonder how it would have been if it were Jung Siwoo MK.II instead of Chaewon.

Then we wouldn’t have to be conscious of each other, and I could have even stood in as a substitute.

Lost in deep thought while rummaging through the closet, Siwoo suddenly approached and started fidgeting.

“Um… do you need clothes to change into?”

What the heck.

Can’t you see I need clothes to change into after bathing?

“That… to wear until then?”

What’s wrong with that?

Of course, I need to change my underwear too…

“Ah.”

Oh damn it.

I almost forgot this isn’t our house.

“Oops!”