episode_0067

In the city center where the academy is located.

A children’s playground in a neighborhood quite far from where I live.

In that place filled with brief memories from the distant past, Senior Perjena and I were facing each other.

Senior Perjena, assuming that I would not remember the events of my childhood, was alone here reminiscing about the past events.

But that was wrong.

This was not a place that only she remembered, but a place that both of them knew well.

The memory of that day was vividly engraved in my mind even before I entered the academy.

The moment I first met Senior Perjena.

And at the same time, the day I firmly decided my attitude towards life.

I looked back at that day, which was a turning point in my life, and stared at the face of the girl I had always idolized.

“You too…remembered me? Erto…?”

The senior asked with wide eyes as if he found it hard to believe.

I nodded and smiled.

“How could I forget the person who saved me so wonderfully?”

“… ”

My senior, who had been staring at me with his mouth open, asked me a question that would naturally come to mind.

“If you knew that the person you met back then was me… why didn’t you tell me until now?”

“That’s… ”

I bowed my head for a moment and hesitated to answer.

In fact, this may be something that Senior Perjena may find regrettable.

If my senior had remembered me since childhood, it would be natural for him to want to recognize me and enjoy the joy of our reunion.

But because I kept my mouth shut, my senior just kept our meeting as a memory to himself.

I don’t know if the answer I gave my senior would be enough to dispel her regret, but I honestly told her why I had kept the memory of that day covered up until now.

“I wanted to reveal that I remember that day… after I became strong enough to proudly stand in front of my senior.”

“… Why?”

The senior didn’t get angry or express any regret.

Although her blue eyes held doubts, her faith in me was unwavering.

If it were me, I’m sure there would be a good reason for that, and I would just accept whatever stubbornness I have.

I felt as if my senior’s expression was saying something like that.

With a much lighter heart, I opened my heart to her more deeply.

“Ever since I was a child, I really hated bowing down to those I defined as evil. So even if the power gap was big, I would never bow down and would just run at them like an idiot.”

“Yeah… I know that because I’ve seen it so many times. It was the same thing that happened here.”

My senior nodded and expressed his approval of my true nature.

“My mind as a child thought that if I could not break my will against those beings until the end, I would win. Even if I was physically beaten… I thought that if I did not admit defeat, I had not truly lost.”

At those words, Senior Perjena nodded and let out a heavy sigh.

“Hmm… It’s definitely a righteous way of thinking, but it’s also a dangerous belief that can cause great harm if pushed to its limits.”

“That’s right, if you just cry out for justice without any strength, then it’s nothing more than rationalization. But when I was young, I thought that rationalization was enough.”

“So… So that’s why you attacked the bad guys while getting hit so hard. To create the foundation for that belief… ”

“Hehehe… ”

I looked at my senior’s face with a bitter smile.

She was right.

The way to confirm that one’s will was not broken even in defeat and that one had stuck to one’s beliefs was not through victory, but rather through clear defeat.

If only we could win, it would be a great ending.

But for a long time, I didn’t have that ability.

An ordinary commoner with no natural talents or special qualities.

Even if such a person had the foolish belief that he would never kneel before evil, it would only lead to his own destruction.

But when I was very young, I had a stubborn side that even tried to reject such logic.

“Anyway, I didn’t give up. I didn’t bow my head… I just had the foolish thought that that kind of satisfaction was enough.”

“Oh, that’s stupid… ”

The senior looked at me with a smile that contained pity rather than mockery.

As she said, it was a really stupid way of thinking.

However, a decisive moment occurred in my life where rationalization alone was no longer enough.

That’s it―

“When defeat became so natural to me, I met my senior for the first time and realized how wonderful it is to truly achieve victory without yielding to evil.”

“Do you hate losing?”

“To be exact, I couldn’t settle for that. Because I found out that there are strong people like my senior.”

What I saw that day was not only the will to carry out one’s own will, but also the strength to prove it.

How much more radiant is a person who has a strong vessel capable of bearing the weight, rather than a weak person who simply shouts for justice with his mouth open.

Once I realized that, the girl I met at the playground that day became the idol of my life.

“From that day on, my goal was to become someone like my senior. A strong person who doesn’t bend or break.”

“… Really?”

“That’s how I’ve been quietly following in my senior’s footsteps for a long time. Even though it was only a brief encounter, I thought that Senior Perjena would definitely have an unmistakable presence no matter where she was… and that premonition came true after she entered the academy.”

“Yeah… ”

“When I met my senior again, I tried to be a confident person, but… my senior was moving ahead of me much faster. To a place where I could never catch up… He kept going without stopping, to a place that was truly like a dream.”

“… ”

As I poured out my hidden feelings, my senior for some reason became less and less talkative.

Is it because I’m talking about awkward things like goals and idols in front of the person concerned?

Considering Senior Perjena’s personality, which is secretly quite shy, it was only natural that she would become less talkative.

“That’s why when I entered high school and met my senior again, I couldn’t readily say that I remembered those old days. I was still too weak, and I hadn’t achieved any of the goals I had set for myself.”

“… I see.”

I responded with a bright smile to my senior’s bitter gaze.

“It’s late, but I’m glad I can say it now. Now I’m at a level where I’m not embarrassed in front of my senior… I didn’t know my senior would bring it up first, but somehow the timing worked out. Haha… ”

As I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment, my senior nodded with a kind look.

“Yes, you really have become strong, disciple.”

“Thanks to all of my seniors who I’ve been aiming for. Senior Perjena has been and still is my role model for a long time.”

“Yeah, thanks… ”

“I’m truly happy that you, senior, never bow down to villains, whether in the past or present. You don’t bow down at all to someone like Durakal… Maintaining your senior-like appearance is a great strength to me.”

“… Erto.”

Suddenly, my senior called my name.

“Yes?”

When I looked at her complexion, I felt something unusual.

A heavy silence fell over the senior’s face, all joy and pleasure gone.

“Why… are you like that?”

When I asked her, the atmosphere became more serious,

“You might be a little… misunderstanding.”

The senior spoke to me carefully and in a quiet voice.

“I am… not the righteous person you think I am.”

“… ?”

In response to my senior’s sudden self-deprecation, I said nothing in response and just looked at her face.

“Erto, you can really be proud of yourself. You left me, and you worked hard enough to be proud of yourself… and you became strong. I truly respect you and admire you.”

“Senior… ”

Senior Perjena lowered her gaze and smiled self-deprecatingly as she swayed the swing back and forth.

“But I’m not that great of a person that you can aim for… I’m more selfish than you think. I’m not the type of person who always raises my head to villains… Maybe when you learn my true nature, you’ll be greatly disappointed. Erto.”

“Senior Ferjena… Why do you think so?”

This is the first time I’ve seen a senior looking so dispirited.

Why is she suddenly putting herself down and making excuses in front of me?

In what I said earlier, was there anything that could touch something inside you?

As I was looking at her with worried eyes, she glanced at my face and smiled hollowly.

“I feel bad for idolizing someone like me. I can’t possibly be the kind of great person who can control someone’s life.”

“… No!”

The moment I saw my senior getting smaller and smaller, I kicked him off and got up from my seat.

I walked towards her with my feet on the sand, knelt down on one knee, and held her hand.

It was a picture that, if viewed from the side, would look like a knight swearing loyalty to the princess.

“Erto… ?”

The senior who had his hand pulled blushed in surprise.

“Senior Ferjena.”

Without any hesitation, I looked straight into her wide-open eyes and spoke.

“I don’t really care who my senior is. Even if he or she isn’t the idol I once had, that’s okay. Even if my senior is completely different from what I thought, I’ve already followed in his or her footsteps.”

“Ah… over there… cow, hand… ”

I held on tighter to my senior, who was shyly trying to pull her hand away, and honestly confronted her about my current feelings for her.

This is a slightly different story from the love between a man and a woman.

It was a declaration proving the extent of my trust in her.

“I never regret the time I spent chasing after my senior. Thanks to you, I was able to become so strong and gained the will to protect the people I care about. That alone is enough. I will trust you until the end. So, please trust me too.”

“… ”

The senior slowly covered his mouth with the back of his other hand, which was not being held by me.

Her blue eyes are moist and her cheeks are flushed.

“… Erto.”

“Yes, senior.”

She stares at me with slightly hazy eyes, as if she’s drunk.

“You are such a bad guy.”

“Yes?”

“I thought you weren’t in that condition yet, so I held back… But if you shake me like this, I won’t be able to endure it.”

“What is… this?”

As I stared at her with a blank expression, my senior placed the hand that had been covering his mouth over mine and gave me a hot glare.

“I don’t know, it’s your responsibility, so figure it out.”

“What are you talking about… ”

Swoop-whoosh-

The senior took a deep breath and said to me with a face full of determination.

“Would you like to… date me?”

“… Senior?”

“I like you, you idiot disciple.”

“… ”

“Now… I can’t hide this feeling.”

――

In a playground bathed in morning sunlight,

A quiet silence flowed.