episode_0056

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Carl didn’t say a word to me.

Even though there was an empty seat, he came and sat next to me. His expression even seemed uncomfortable.

He’s not the type to chatter during class. Still, we’ve never spent time together in such silence. It felt more like there was a wall between us sitting side by side, rather than just silence, a chilly atmosphere flowed.

What bothered me the most was that Carl, who always smiled, had tightly sealed lips. Not to mention his smiling eyes.

“Where was the part that the professor said was important just now?”

I forced myself to speak in this atmosphere.

I asked as if I had missed the flow of the lecture while zoning out.

I naturally started talking under the pretext of the lecture and studying.

“……”

He, who was scribbling, pointed to a part of the book with the tip of his pen. He was dry and indifferent. But just the fact that he didn’t ignore my words made me feel relieved.

“Oh! Thanks.”

Actually, I had grasped all of the professor’s lectures, and I knew the emphasized parts, but thanks to him, I felt like I survived. Carl, if it weren’t for you, I would have been in big trouble. Well, that’s the feeling.

But that was it.

Carl still didn’t glance at me. Even when he pointed to the book with the tip of his pen, he didn’t look at me at all. His straight gaze only went back and forth between the podium and the book.

Uncomfortable.

I really dislike this atmosphere.

I want to relieve it.

Should I just ask bluntly? Did you see it?

It’s not what you think, I’m not that strange of a woman….

….

Sigh.

Right. I should say it’s for Julia’s underwear, right?

I should say I bought it to give to Julia. I even wrapped it up.

It’s partly true for Julia, so it should be okay, right? We bought it together to give to Julia, didn’t we?

Yeah, okay!

I thought this was a reasonable excuse. I felt proud of myself.

Now, if I just muddle through, this bleak atmosphere will also dissipate!

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“Hey, Cal.”

He spoke, hiding a faint smile. Misunderstandings can be resolved. It’s not a big deal.

…!?

I called his name, but couldn’t continue speaking.

I just blinked my eyes.

He, that naughty child… put his finger to his lips, gesturing for silence.

‘Shh.’

Though no sound came out, his finger pressed against his lips seemed to convey that he didn’t want to hear more.

Still, still… his gentle gaze didn’t reach me. He only moved his finger while looking ahead.

I was so surprised, feeling a sense of humiliation, I just stared blankly.

My face grew hot.

I understand.

I’m not oblivious. I pride myself on being perceptive. So, I understand.

Right now, what this situation means.

His subtle gestures, the atmosphere’s implications…

He’s trying to create distance from me. It’s the reaction one has when dealing with someone they find burdensome or don’t want to be close to. Knowing that, realizing that, my body trembled.

I turned my head, biting my lip.

I’m too frustrated and embarrassed to look at him again.

Why, why me?

Why do I have to endure this treatment?

….

Is buying racy underwear such a mistake?

Did it look like the clothes of a lowly girl that doesn’t suit a noble lady?

Did I become so detestable…?

Was it such an immodest outfit that it dropped my dignity?

Ha.

Yeah. I know. Even if I’m living as a transmigrant in this world, I roughly get it. I know how important a noble lady’s chastity is in high society. Still, this is too sensitive a response, isn’t it?

It’s too much to be treated like this just because of a piece of underwear… even if it’s a fantasy world’s noble society where chastity and purity are more important than the modern era I lived in….

Or… was there something else?

Did you make a fatal mistake that you can’t remember because you were drunk? Is that why your affection suddenly disappeared?

Then, how on earth should I make up for it?

I, I don’t want you to hate me yet….

I absolutely, absolutely don’t want to be hated by you, the only one in this world who is in the same situation as me. I don’t want to become awkward or grow apart from you!

That’s all there is to it. So please, somehow, just don’t treat me like that.

“Um, excuse me….”

Summoning up courage, I spoke.

This time, I lowered my voice even more. I cautiously called out almost in a whisper.

“Let’s stop here for today and continue next time.”

As I called him, I heard the professor’s voice. It was a signal announcing the end of the lecture.

As the professor finished speaking, noisy sounds were heard throughout the classroom. Sounds of closing books, putting down pens, dragging chairs, sighs, and so on…

All sorts of noises interfered with the space between us. So, in the midst of my increasing confusion, Karl closed his book and stood up from his seat.

“Ka-Karl?!”

Desperately calling out his name, but whether he didn’t hear amidst the noisy classroom or pretended not to hear… he disappeared towards the entrance without turning back.

“……”

I just weakly withdrew my outstretched arm while watching his retreating figure.

*

“I’m not in the mood for that.”

I disliked people whose actions changed depending on their mood.

I couldn’t stand women who let their emotions dictate their actions. If there was such a woman, I had to coax her, comfort her, and cater to her moods… it wasn’t easy.

But I was lenient with Younghee. I have memories of trying to cheer her up when she seemed uncomfortable, even when she made a sulky face and said she wasn’t in the mood.

Since it’s Younghee, because I like her, I willingly tried to understand her feelings. Every time that happened, I just couldn’t understand why women act like that. I couldn’t stop the instinctive doubt that sprang up, separate from liking Younghee.

How can people change so quickly according to their mood?

But I didn’t know I would become that kind of woman.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“What?”

The red-haired girl looked surprised.

It was Vice President Scarlet. She had just finished the student council meeting and suggested we all go to a cafe together.

“I don’t feel like it, I’m going back to the dorm first. Seniors can go have fun together.”

“……”

“If you’re pretty, it’s okay, right? Stop with the nonsense and come with me. Pretty junior.”

David calmly adjusted his glasses as usual, but Scarlet didn’t seem to care and tried to take me away. I know, I’m rude. It’s one thing to be upset because of the knife, but there’s no need to speak so curtly to these people.

But strangely, I wanted to show it.

I wanted to say I felt really bad, hurt, and for anyone to please understand.

But the person who should understand isn’t here…

“Leave me alone. You must be tired.”

“David, you really don’t understand women, do you?”

Scarlet put her hand on her hip and said to David as if she would teach him something. Then she grabbed my wrist.

“Enough, pretty junior, come with me.”

“……”

She dragged me forcefully.

It’s impossible to resist being forcibly dragged by the Empress Scarlet, but I pretended to give in and slowly took steps.

Yes.

Spending time with people like this, forgetting about today, and releasing the tension so that next time I can face the knife… I need to relax.

That’s when it happened.

Bang!

The student council room door swung wide open.

A male student holding a newspaper hurriedly opened the door and entered. The sound of the door hitting the wall echoed loudly, indicating how forcefully it had been opened.

“Be careful. You might hurt someone.”

“Sorry, President.”

“Oh my. Is something urgent?”

David gave a slight reprimand, while Scarlett, with an astonished expression, brought her hand to her lips and asked, “W-what… is it…? Such surprising news that I couldn’t help but…!”

“Really?! What happened?”

The student holding the newspaper struggled to speak, breathing heavily. Judging by his excited expression, it seemed like quite interesting news. Scarlett, who was very interested in gossip, approached him with an expectant look. She snatched the newspaper from his hand, her coquettish pupils scanning the article.

“Don’t be surprised, everyone. No, well…!”

He said with a smile. His expression seemed delighted, as if he were the first to share good news like someone who had made a discovery.

But.

His words were drowned out by the screams coming from beside him.

“Aaahhh!!!”

“!!!?”

Scarlett, who had been reading the newspaper, suddenly screamed and began crumpling the paper as if she had seen something unbearable. The crumpled newspaper fell to the ground.

Thud-

David picked up the fallen newspaper and slowly unfolded it. Scarlett clutched her face, leaning against the wall and rocking back and forth.

‘What on earth did she see?’

Curious, David approached. He leaned in next to him as he unfolded the newspaper. Without any sign of surprise, David tilted the newspaper so they could both see.

There was a huge headline.

Portraits of a man and a woman were also drawn.

Familiar faces.

Both of them.

People I knew very well.

….

I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Just to make sure I hadn’t seen wrong. But nothing had changed.

The newspaper still showed the dazzling faces of a handsome man and a lovely woman.

And.

And below that…

[The rest of the content is not provided.]

There was a headline.

At a glance, the title was read, but I couldn’t believe it, so I denied it in my head and slowly tore it apart letter by letter. Still, the article’s title and content did not change.

The couple of the century, a bridge between two countries, a symbol of peace and prosperity, a great decision, a blessed man and woman…

Countless praises were written. Each one was unbearable… letters that I wanted to tear apart.

“The heir to the Mainar Duchy and the betrothal announcement of the Grand Duchess of the Balkan Principality”

Finally, my gaze was fixed on the article’s title, but my whole body trembled. Clenching my fists, grinding my teeth… I glared at the newspaper’s letters.

Thus, the long-standing alliance between the Sacred Claro Empire and the Balkan Principality enters a new phase… The two naturally became closer at the Imperial Academy… A strategic marriage, but respecting the opinions of the parties involved… In order to bless this engagement, the Holy See directly invited the Grand Duchess… The Mainar Duke is soon to hold a reception…

Haah, haaa….

What, what on earth is this?

Why such a sudden development? Betrothal!?

Cloé… with Karl?

No, this doesn’t make sense. How on earth!!!

The bulletin that made Scarlett scream was a shock. To her, to me.

Especially to me, it pierced like a dagger.

My heart, my chest hurts too much.

As if someone was squeezing and wringing my heart.

…It hurt.