episode_0008

“Hmm… Huh. Hmm.”

“Stop crying.”

“But it’s the kids again-.”

“Take this and pop.”

“Flower ring, is it…? … ?”

“It’s just made by plaiting wild flowers picked along the road. I don’t need it, so take it.”

“Go, thank you! Because I will definitely cherish it-”

***

I hate Yena.

Maybe my old childhood friend hates me too.

The wounds caused by our words and actions had not yet healed, and we did not understand each other even 1%. The valley was so deep that it continued to create a cold current that was better than not knowing at all.

―But if I die in front of Joo Yena, the story will be different.

I died once and came back.

If Yena had taken the most appropriate first aid measures, such as just crying or calling 911, I would have been shocked.

Of course, if I had been disgusted and thought it was an unlucky situation, the method I would have taken later would have been a bit drastic.

At that moment, the light in Yena’s heart went out.

I cannot forget her dark blue eyes as she looked at me dead.

I somehow felt reassured that Yena would remain in my mind for the rest of my life.

Is it because of the exhilaration of successfully getting revenge on someone you hate?

… Or maybe it was because other emotions were involved, I’m not sure.

[Jordan Jordan Jordan River~♪ Hell hell hell fire~♪]

I suddenly came to my senses because of the constellation that was having fun singing its own song as text. Originality is also dangerous.

“Why are you so happy?”

[I am happy that the constellation ‘The opposite of the one who lives is suicide’ has been able to accumulate results for the first time in a few years!]

So absurd. Has the time come for constellations to also accumulate achievements?

When I see the Supreme Being acting like an insurance salesman, I feel sorry for myself for thinking seriously.

The Last Supper – After eating up the bread and grape juice, we quickly start preparing.

‘Good boy. Even if Yena looks half as good… … .’

Currently, I did not go back to class after forcing Dahyun to ask me a favor.

Since I have a history of frequently missing class, I don’t think teachers or students in the class would pay much attention.

I’m not bragging, but I’m not particularly close to anyone in my class!

-However, I carefully guess that Yena might be twisting her blonde hair and contemplating the morning mirage.

‘The next suicide is… … .’

This time, I want to see Yena’s crying face. I am not satisfied with just seeing a single tear shed from an unexpected sale.

I want to see it clearly.

The scene where I cried so hard my eyes swelled because I died-

-I really hope you cry for me.

When she was young, she used to cry often.

I’m scared of the dog frowning and barking, and I’m sad of the neighborhood kids making fun of me.

I had to comfort him with all kinds of gentle words for a while before he stopped.

‘… ‘It was cute back then.’

However, from a certain point on, I only smiled pretentiously in front of others and I never saw her cry.

It felt like he had tied his heart tightly and put on a mask, so I started avoiding him even more.

I’ll take away that pretense you don’t like!

[Would you like to purchase a dagger by paying 10 suicide points at the suicide shop?]

I made a big decision and purchased the item right away through the status window.

As I bring my two palms together, the opaque mass becomes more and more bubbly, and then a dagger that looks more stylish than necessary appears.

A sword decorated with two dots and a skull.

I thought it was sharp because when I lightly touched it with my finger, a drop of blood leaked out.

[dagger! How are you going to die? Slit your wrist? Throat piercing? Seppuku?]

[(Open the door emoticon)]

[(Expecting emoticon)]

Goi reacts sensitively to methods of suicide. Does this also count towards your performance?

I guess it’s okay.

I shrugged my shoulders up and down and answered willingly.

“Bite your tongue and die.”

[(╬◣д◢)]

The response is an angry emoticon, as if it is dumbfounded, to the idea of biting one’s tongue and dying.

“Of course, I know that biting your tongue and dying is difficult in real life. So I’m going to cut off one side of your tongue with a dagger.”

When I stick out my tongue and look at the mirror, I see a gray coating on my tongue due to the fatigue that always weighs me down.

[There is no guarantee that death will occur due to excessive bleeding or shock.]

Once freed from the pain of death, it is useless if one does not die. If you are found alive and taken to the hospital, there is no such shame.

Hmm. Of course, it would be okay to just stab him in the neck and die, but it would be a shame because all the build-up he had built up would be broken.

“… It’s okay, it’s okay. After the tongue is pulled from the inside and broken, the blood will flow down the trachea. Because of my constitution, if my lungs fill with blood, I will soon have trouble breathing.”

[constitution? No, the constellation ‘The opposite of living is suicide’ asks for the user’s health-related information.]

“Don’t worry, man.”

One thing I’m worried about is the fishy scent of blood, but I’ll try to mask it as much as possible with the hand sanitizer provided. Will it work out?

-This suicide drama, at least from the perspective of Jena from behind, should be alive.

Due to the blond and nerdy personality, he will first ask questions at the door and then approach you.

Push the sofa and place it in an appropriate location.

After sitting down on the luxurious leather sofa, I lowered my head. Take a deep breath. ha-

‘It’s only the second time.’

He picked up the skull-decorated dagger and put it into his mouth.

Although it encountered more resistance from the tongue muscles than expected, the sharp blade quickly cut the blood vessels.

A sound similar to the sound of a butcher cutting neck meat with an electric cutting tool rings clear in my ears.

It wasn’t completely cut off. The half-length tongue plays a sufficient role in blocking the airway.

When biological death is achieved, the moment when the body floats comes again.

Unlike the fleeting moment, this time I was able to learn quite a bit how to manipulate the spirit body that escaped from the body.

[The constellation ‘The opposite of a person who lives is suicide’ warns against hiding in locker rooms or women’s bathhouses! conflict!]

‘Am I a pervert?’

I just plan on floating next to Yena and watching her every move after I leave.

How much time has passed?

Without knocking, the door to the [Literature and Information Department] opens with a sigh.

“Shin Jeong-gyu, if you don’t want to graduate, you can skip classes or not. But don’t you know that tuition waiver is a blessing for our family? Since when did shame disappear?-.”

There was no trace of the morning gloom on Yena’s face as she haughtily questioned him.

Rather, it seemed like he was waiting for something, but I feel sad that his expectations will soon be shattered into pieces.

“… Are you still upset and not saying anything? It’s like you. If you exercise your right to remain silent, I will say what I want to say.”

What does it mean to be like Yena? What does it mean to be myself?

“You said you haven’t been happy since you met me, but you’re wrong. I’ll make sure of that much.”

It’s the same for me too.

There are no memories worth remembering.

… But our relationship was too twisted to turn back.

“D, are you listening? I’m sick of it now, so please don’t ignore me… . Uh, what?”

Soon enough, she realized.

Seeing me dead, Yena seems to think it’s the truth this time. Perhaps my first suicide, like a vaccine, gave me the opportunity to adapt to death.

Yena, who was fiddling with the back of her hand, did not call anyone.

She simply begins to say lonely words like an old woman reminiscing about her father, who is lying in a hospital bed.

“I was happy. I’m glad you took the initiative to talk to me, who didn’t have the courage.

Finally, tears form on the wall below.

Beads of water, the price of which is difficult to put a value on, flow down the cheeks.

“I was very happy when they cut wild chrysanthemums and made a ring for me. To you, it’s still in my drawer like a postcard! I hoped the day would come when I could show you again.”

It’s not just one strand.

Right now, tears are filling my cheeks as the rain falls outside.

“Ugh, hmmm. When I was in my second year of high school, I was secretly happy because we were in the same class for the first time in a long time… . I was originally going to say it first. So – I’m sorry.”

With tears flowing endlessly, I say the words “I’m sorry.” Unlike before, I feel a sincere desire to accept it.

-I want to find out where that desperation came from.

So I decided to wait and see.

little bit more.

***

-Was the funeral home such a lonely place?

Of course, since it is the last place people go, it is natural to feel lonely.

However, this funeral home is hardly a place for social gatherings under the pretense of seeing off the deceased.

Yena Joo Among the funeral homes I visited when I was 18, this was the only one that was as desolate as a desert.

‘You’re too much.’

Of course, my classmates stopped by, but it was only a formality. I quickly returned as if I had come to a place I couldn’t come to.

Gradually, she realizes what kind of person her childhood friend was.

He doesn’t have any relatives anymore…

so-

I’m going to take his place –

“… That’s surprising. Why are you guarding your senior’s wedding hall like a resident?”

“You. What kind of shame are you coming here for? Aren’t you going out?”

unexpected.

No. Although she expected it, when an unwelcome guest arrives, her eyes rise like a hawk’s.

The black-haired girl calmly countered.

“I don’t mean to fight. I have something to tell senior Yena.”