episode_0045

The sports festival is over and next week is the midterm exam.

And the weekend came.

Vita had a hard time sleeping last night.

It was because I became emotional, perhaps intoxicated by the chilly autumn night.

‘What should I do…?’

A feeling that I myself have no idea about.

Vita has been having these worries quite often lately.

I was originally a man, but I lived as a man all along. But before I knew it, I changed into a woman and adapted to it.

I sometimes have concerns about my identity.

‘Is this right…?’

Even though I’ve gotten used to this life now, I still have some worries that I can’t help but have.

Let’s go back to being a man.

I kept thinking like that.

But why on earth?

Lately, I feel like I’ve lost my sense of humor, and I feel confused even though there’s no reason for it.

Why did he just sit there in Carlyle’s arms?

At some point, my parents started treating me like a girl, and I was confused by their attitude, so I asked them a question.

-Mom… Don’t you think I’m weird?

-Isn’t that normal? You’re a girl now, so it’s not strange for you to date a boy.

That was my mother’s answer.

It’s right to adapt as you change into a woman. Since your body has become a woman’s, it’s not strange for your mind to become a woman’s too.

Thinking back on that answer, Vita felt strange.

But I tried to keep that thought to a corner of my mind and forced my eyes to close.

And then again in the morning. I wake up rubbing my eyes and see that I got a call from Vita on my phone during the night.

-I’m ready, medicine! Do you want to come get it tomorrow?

Vita’s expression brightened.

“Ah, finally… ”

Because I was given the chance to go back to being a man again. Because now it’s a done deal.

‘Don’t overthink it.’

With that determination, Vita got up. Stretching, she regretted again the useless words she had said yesterday in defense of Carlyle.

Well, still. Nothing will change.

Because the fact that I’m going back to being a man doesn’t change.

Whatever the reason, there is no way to explain it.

‘Because I was originally a man!’

That’s the only reason.

And other characters.

-Have you eaten dinner, girl?

Vita didn’t answer Carlyle yesterday.

“If you get a chance, you’re talking nonsense.”

Well, I don’t want to answer that nonsense.

But Vita, who had been hesitating, now answered. It was more of a declaration than an answer, though.

-I’m busy today, so no contact or nonsense.

I love Emily. One clear truth!

Still, Vita thought that her sway towards Carlyle was due to hormones.

It’s not like I’m being sincere, it’s just a feeling that will disappear if I go back to being a man.

“Shall we start getting ready?”

So I have to work hard!

Well, first of all, I have an appointment with Emily today.

The confusion from just now disappeared like a bubble and Vita laughed.

***

A cafe in the city.

The atmosphere is chattering. I am the one being looked at.

This is now a familiar experience for Emily.

I am very aware of how I appear to other people, especially men.

The flowing hair is as soft as the Milky Way.

A peach-scented lip gloss that was applied with care. The light pink lips were moist and hydrated.

And a white knit tee, a moderately short checkered skirt, and a beige cardigan. Emily Swan’s appearance is that of a true lady.

But Emily let out a deep sigh again. Sitting by the window of the café.

‘What’s the use of this…?’

I can’t seem to get hold of a guy I like. I’ve only ever liked one person, and I’ve never had a boyfriend before.

Emily likes Carlyle, her childhood friend who seems cold and indifferent at first glance.

It’s been a relatively recent event, but Emily Swan has been having a lot on her mind lately.

‘Carlyle is definitely Bianca…’

I guess I like it. It’s bittersweet, but I thought it was okay.

You clearly didn’t hear me.

[Actually, Emily…! I already have someone I like.]

At least Bianca Shamal doesn’t seem to like my childhood friend Carlisle.

I thought so too.

Especially when the two of them were fighting, when there was a brief cold war, I was almost certain of it.

‘But… it’s strange.’

Isn’t that really strange? The atmosphere between the two of you lately.

So now my thinking has changed a little.

‘Bianca too, by any chance…?’

Because there is a visible appearance. Especially, that feeling becomes stronger before and after sports competitions.

Quite by accident. I saw Carlisle handing Bianca Bulma over, and I also saw Bianca’s raw reaction afterwards without her knowing it.

‘That kind of skinship is usually something that can’t be done unless you like each other…’

For some reason, it felt like there was a wall between them that was impossible to break through. Emily bit her lip.

‘ha…’

My chest feels stuffy for no reason, so I suck on the straw and the coffee goes down my throat. But I feel better because I drink cold coffee.

Bianca Shamal is a very attractive girl in my opinion.

So it’s no wonder Carlyle fell in love with it.

She has a really pure personality, and she’s quirky but cute. Since they’ve become close recently, Emily knows her well too.

But there is a feeling of regret in one corner of my heart –

‘At that time, you were definitely…’

Didn’t you say you have someone else you like? Are you lying?

Today’s event was arranged to confirm that conjecture. Emily, too, had made up her mind.

“Ah, Emily-!”

Bianca Shamal approaches. Emily stands up and greets her immediately.

“Ah, you’re here-!”

“Am I a little late…?”

“No, not at all.”

Emily responded with a smile.

“I came first because I had something to think about.”

“Oh, I see.”

Vita’s heart fluttered.

It’s an unprecedented day! From my perspective, it definitely feels that way.

-Do you want to study together this weekend?

Naturally, Vita accepted Emily’s proposal without hesitation.

Let’s study together before the midterm exam. It was my unrequited love who suggested that.

‘Since we’re studying together…’

It would have been better if it had been Emily’s house.

Vita whetted her appetite, but she felt grateful for this alone. She also felt embarrassed at the thought that her own thoughts were dark.

Well, anyway!

If you ask what the upcoming exams mean, it means that I’ll be at odds with Carlyle for a while.

So I told Vita not to contact me on purpose. More than anything, I don’t want to be interrupted during this time.

‘As expected, today too…’

Emily is so pretty.

Vita swallowed a brief breath of admiration at the sight of her opponent.

Emily dresses well. She smells good too.

A pounding heart.

‘Yeah, I guess so…’

I think he likes Emily, otherwise this trembling wouldn’t be explained.

“Sit down, Bianca. Would you like a cafe latte?”

“Yeah! I like it.”

After a while, the coffee came out and Vita spoke while taking a sip of it.

“Shasha didn’t call?”

Emily nodded in agreement at the seemingly curious question.

“Yeah, today… it feels like a date?”

“Date, date!”

Vita’s face turned red. Emily laughed as she looked at Vita like that.

“Well, more than that. Sasha already said she had a schedule.”

“Oh, I see.”

Either way, it’s fine.

While the two were drinking coffee together, a clerk approached them.

“A spot just opened up.”

As he was a male clerk, he seemed quite nervous. Emily smiled faintly as she looked at Vita.

“There’s a room here too. I requested it earlier. It’s like that outside in many ways, right?”

“Right, a little bit?”

‘Emily, because you’re pretty.’

‘Because you’re cute, Bianca.’

The boys are getting entangled.

So the two entered the small room with conflicting thoughts.

***

The room was smaller and neater than I thought.

There’s a table in the center, and there’s even a comic book on it.

“Oh, good.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

The two of them put their bags down together and sat around the desk.

“Bianca, you’re dressed up so pretty today.”

Vita waved her hand at the sudden compliment.

“No, that can’t be!”

Because it’s awkward.

But Emily Swan has a sincere expression.

“Really, is this true? Are these the clothes I bought last time I went shopping?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

‘Because we chose it together.’

I came wearing these clothes on purpose as a courtesy.

“It suits you, very. Pretty and feminine.”

Emily looked pleased that her thoughts were correct. Vita spoke somewhat hesitantly and shyly.

“That’s fortunate. I thought it wouldn’t suit you… ”

“, not at all! Who said that?”

“Oh, no. I just thought of it myself… ?”

Emily laughs heartily.

“No, it suits you well.”

Vita felt relieved at the somewhat harmonious atmosphere.

‘But since we’ve been texting a lot lately, it doesn’t feel awkward.’

I was a little worried. I wondered if it would be awkward if we were alone together.

But since that’s not the case, the faint smile continues.

“Then, um… Should I start studying? What subject should I start with?”

“Hmm, math?”

“You knew I was bad at math, Bianca?”

“Of course!”

Vita said that and then looked a little embarrassed. Emily tilted her head and said, ‘Did I say that?’

Come to think of it, it’s a story I heard by chance a long time ago, when I was still a man.

‘I’m weak at math.’

After the final exam, I just overheard Emily talking to her friends in a sad voice.

There’s no particular reason why he still remembers. It’s because he likes Emily that much.

No wonder, my heart is pounding.

‘I’m alone with Emily.’

Just for this fact alone.

Naturally, I become nervous. I become conscious of it.

The fact that I’m alone with the girl I like.

‘Today is the day I get to know Emily better.’

I feel like I’m floating around in excitement at that thought.

Vita is good at math. On the other hand, Emily happens to be weak at math.

‘You naturally earn points by explaining problems you don’t know.’

When Vita smiled in conversion at that thought, just as the two people placed the books on the table.

Squeak-

Someone came into the room.

“Ah, you’re here.”

Emily’s expression brightens. Vita, who turned around to check that the seat she was sitting in was in front of the door, had a blank expression.

“, Huh…?!”

The opponent looks calm. Perhaps he knew this in advance and came here.

“How long do you want to do it?”

Emily raised her finger in response to Carlyle’s question, who was naturally sitting down.

“About three hours… ?”

“Well, that’s fine. If it’s just three hours.”

Why is that guy here?

Vita is in a state of confusion.

‘My, Emily’s… ‘

A date just for two!

“That, Emily…?”

When Vita looked at Emily’s face with a puzzled feeling, Emily was there with a slightly ambiguous smile.

“Ta-da, ta-da! A date for three!”

“That, that’s right… ?”

That’s not a date, is it?

Emily with her arms outstretched is definitely cute though.

“The three of us haven’t had a chance to get together recently. We’ve been preparing for the sports competition.”

But that’s what Emily said. Vita tried hard to convince herself.

“Now that we’re all here, shall we start studying?”

So there’s Vita, Carlyle, and Emily Swan.

A study group of three people has just begun.

***

“How do I solve this…?”

An hour or so had passed since the three of them had been studying.

Emily is worried, making a sound like she’s crying.

Vita has a hard time concentrating because her strongest competitor is right next to her.

But it’s an opportunity to score points with Emily.

I can’t miss it.

‘Ah, me…!’

So that’s what Vita was about to tell Emily.

“Yes, Mr. Carlyle.”

Emily is already glued to Carlisle.

“Can you tell me this?”

“You don’t know this?”

Carlyle slowly explains the problem, although he seems a bit annoyed.

“What function is this curve a graph of? If we find the instantaneous rate of change at each point on this line… ”

“So how do you get it?”

“Well, that’s… ”

Looking at the two of them clinging to each other so affectionately, Vita paused for a moment.

‘No, me too…’

I can tell you better.

This has already happened three times in the past hour. Vita keeps trying to focus on her studies, but for some reason, it feels like it’s not working.

‘I’m worried, something.’

Probably Emily, because she cares.

Ta-da-

Without realizing it, Vita’s eyes started shaking slightly.