episode_0064

A long conversation ensued.

Questions about why Astolfo had joined the Army of Death arose, and Cerebus replied that he didn’t know.

Next, he told the heroes what he desired.

“I wish to build a new empire. A new empire, different from the likes of Shahlnu, formed in the name and ideology of the kingdom that represented the golden age.”

To do so, as he had said before, the widespread unrest across the continent must be quelled, and the Army of Death must be defeated, along with other difficult problems.

The former could somehow be resolved with his own abilities, but the defeat of the Army of Death and the issues related to the Prophets remained.

Why had the Prophets failed to foresee the birth of the Army of Death, and why had they chosen a future where only victory against the Army of Death was visible, yet still suffered defeat?

Even though all heroes were alive under the guidance of fate, why had they been defeated with Orlando’s death, unlike the future seen through precognition where only victory existed?

Cerebus desired these things from Shahlnu Stellarum, from us heroes.

‘Normally…’

I wouldn’t have listened to him.

Not only did I have the title of hero, but I also had the mission of protecting Morgana, the Queen of the Fairy Kingdom.

There was no guarantee that the Fairy Kingdom would be safe while the continent was seething with chaos, and because she and the Fairy Kingdom, who had taken me in, were more precious than the continent or any empire.

So, normally, I would have refused Cerebus’s proposal and returned to the Fairy Kingdom.

But he had made a ‘promise’ to protect the Fairy Kingdom using the power of Gram.

He also ‘promised’ the survival of the ‘clan’ Bradamante sought to protect, guaranteeing it unlike the Prophets, who offered no such thing.

And to Talfinus, the preservation of the Forbidden Archive.

To Maugrius, the safety of Mullifen.

He ‘promised’ all these things, seeking their cooperation.

As the continent had become a crucible of chaos, the power of heroes, symbols of hope even if faded, was absolutely necessary.

But.

“……”

After Cerebus’s assertion that Astolfo had defected to the Army of Death, and that the downfall of the Prophets and Impurities was an undeniably inevitable event.

Kara said nothing, staring blankly at the table.

‘Why is she like that?’

She had never been like this before.

Though she seemed fragile inside, she always showed herself to be straighter than steel.

She was a person who had never shown herself to be flustered, possessing the courage and tenacity to never give up no matter how difficult the situation.

Seeing such a side of her, a long-time superior, comrade, and close friend, Danoa couldn’t help but look at her with a mix of concern and bewilderment.

And right after the conversation with Cerebus ended.

“Then, I’m busy, so I’ll be leaving now.”

Thud—

With the sound of the banquet hall door closing, just as the other comrades, holding their complex emotions, were about to step out the door.

Scrape—

I quickly stood from my chair, approached her side, and asked.

“Kara Sir?”

“……”

“Kara Sir?”

“Oh, yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“Oh, I… I think I’m fine. Thank you for your concern, Danoa.”

‘No.’

She wasn’t.

She was not fine at all.

I could tell with my unique intuition.

She was now…

“Da-Danoa.”

As if something was welling up and about to burst, she was trying hard to suppress her tangled emotions.

“I, I’ll be right back. I need to go somewhere for a moment.”

“Huh? Suddenly, right now, where—”

“Sorry. Please tell the others and Cerebus separately.”

“No, that’s not the problem—Kara Sir? Kara Sir—wait—”

Her footsteps pounded—

The bird had been oppressed.

Trapped in a cage, its freedom to fly taken away.

Having its freedom to fly taken away, it longed for the freedom outside.

It had believed that once outside the cage, it could spread its wings and fly freely.

But upon leaving the cage, the vast world where it could finally spread its wings confronted it.

Its wings did not spread.

It was not free.

To it, the invisible cage outside felt even more suffocating than the cage that had once confined its home.

Twenty-five years passed.

The bird yearned for freedom, and thought freedom would never come.

As eons-like time passed, the rust of the invisible cage in the outside world eventually crumbled.

As the rust of the world crumbled, the bird finally gained the freedom to spread its wings.

Instead of spreading its wings, the bird ran with sorrowful steps.

To the place where true freedom lay.

To the place of true freedom, left behind in the small cage named ‘wall’.

With knotted emotions, her vision blurred, and her breaths became ragged, full of moisture.

“Haa…”

She exhaled.

“Haa…”

Exhaling again.

“Ugh…huk…”

Shedding tears.

Thump—

She ran tirelessly.

To the place where her stolen happiness awaited.

To the place where that man was, whom she longed to see more than ever.

Imagining and recalling his voice and the welcoming expression he would give her.

She ran like mad, towards the sparsely populated east.

***

After bringing Helena to the capital and the day we first formally introduced ourselves.

I brought Helena to Mullifen.

It was because if she saw something connected to her memories, she might recall other memories, just as she had remembered her own name.

“Helena.”

“Hm?”

“How do you feel about coming to the city?”

Helena, now somewhat accustomed to me, shook her head while tightly gripping my index finger—which was disguised as Joshua’s—as she followed me.

“I… don’t know.”

“…I see.”

Naturally, we hadn’t come to Mullifen just the two of us.

As my position dictated, I always had an escort by my side, and this time, instead of El Cid, it was Grattia, the Commander of a Thousand, who accompanied me.

Clink. Clink.

Holding a one-handed sword carefully wrapped in a red muffler in one hand.

She watched our conversation quietly, trying hard to conceal her astonishment at me speaking to Helena in a tone no different from El Cid’s kind demeanor.

I then left her behind and led Helena, wandering through various parts of the city.

“Do you remember this place?”

“Where… is this?”

The first place we went was the watchtower atop Mullifen’s city wall.

I used to stand guard here once or twice a week, where close comrades would secretly gather to chat, or sometimes Anastasia, having lost her mind, would bring alcohol.

At the time, I thought they were crazy, but now I consider them good memories for myself, and I thought they might become good memories for Helena too, which is why I took her there.

But.

“…I don’t know.”

She, who had been staring at the place with a serious frown for a long time, shook her head as if she didn’t remember it at all.

“…I see.”

There were still many places to visit.

I gradually headed to other places where Helena’s memories might still remain.

The barracks.

“…I don’t know.”

“It’s alright. Let’s try somewhere else.”

The parade ground.

“……I don’t know.”

“…It’s alright.”

And finally.

“How about this place?”

In front of the Ducal Palace gates.

The knighting ceremony of Duke Oleg, held in front of the Ducal Palace, before the citizens of Mullifen.

Reaching the place that would have been most impressive to Helena, I asked her if she remembered anything.

“……”

She made a somber expression, then slowly shook her head.

And then.

“…I’m sorry.”

In a downcast voice, she said that to me.

“I’m sorry…”

Drip. Drip.

“……”

Though her appearance was that of a succubus with an alluring body capable of captivating even a man of iron.

Having returned from death, with all her memories gone and her personality changed, her mental state was still akin to that of a child.

As such, her heart was naturally much weaker than that of ordinary people, and she ultimately shed tears, believing she had failed to meet my expectations.

“Don’t cry. It’ll only give you a headache for nothing.”

“Ugh… B-but still…”

“It’s alright. What if you don’t have memories…? What if you don’t have memories? You can just live as you are now.”

“Ugh…Really…is it really alright?”

“Of course.”

How long had it been since I had spoken so kindly to someone, and for so long to one person?

If this woman hadn’t been Helena but a stranger, I would have sent her to a safe place long ago, with proper treatment, so she could live a comfortable life.

But perhaps because she was Helena, a comrade with whom I had shared joys and sorrows for a long time, and a woman who had only ever looked at me.

“……”

I still couldn’t let go of this woman, who was closer to a stranger, whom I would have already abandoned if she were someone else.

The woman named Helena Camellia was already dead.

Seeing the demon residing within the body of a dead woman, I was still projecting and looking at the deceased Helena.

‘…Perhaps, I’m holding onto excessive and pointless expectations.’

Rather, am I doing something terrible to this woman?

Am I doing this to fulfill excessive expectations, hoping for the memories of the deceased Helena to awaken, all for self-consolation disguised as atonement?

With such thoughts, I silently gazed at the succubus’s face.

The woman whose eyes, skin, and hair color had all changed, yet still bore the face of Helena Camellia.

With a smooth motion.

I received a handkerchief from Grattia.

And to wipe the tears of the crying succubus, I slowly brought the handkerchief to her eyes.

But then.

Slap!

She suddenly slapped my hand away.

“Ah…!”

The succubus herself looked surprised.

It seemed she hadn’t intended to slap my hand away.

But.

“……”

I felt like I understood why she had slapped my hand away.

She feared me.

With her succubus-specific abilities, she had seen the ‘darkness’ lurking within me and fallen into fear.

Even though she didn’t want to do so consciously, her instincts were still warning her that I was dangerous.

‘…Now that I think about it.’

It was because of her inherently kind and tender nature that she tried so hard to stay by my side, but unconsciously, she had always been afraid of me.

“……”

Even a succubus who had received the essence of a Demon Lord was afraid of me, to the point where her demonic instincts trembled with fear.

Of me, a human.

Though I no longer retained the appearance of a human, she harbored a monstrous fear towards me, who was once human.

I knew the succubus didn’t want to feel that way, but…

‘Helena.’

The face of the tomboy Helena, who had followed me so well, still reflected in the succubus’s face, came to mind.

It felt as if Helena herself was looking at me like a monster, and something inside me felt like it was crumbling.

‘Right.’

What good would it do to continue this charade?

Both this woman and I, we were only giving each other pain.

…Yes.

We were only giving each other pain.

‘……Now.’

I hated such a relationship.

Because I knew it was a relationship that hurt terribly, to the point of disgust.

“U-um… I definitely didn’t mean to—”

“It’s alright.”

I turned my back and received the sword from Grattia’s arms.

“Grattia, wait here with this succubus.”

“Understood.”

“U-um—!”

“Please remain here with me.”

With Grattia’s restraint, the succubus’s steps halted on the spot.

“……”

After seeing that sight one last time, I headed to a certain place within the Ducal Palace.

To a lonely and desolate place that had remained standing until the very moment the Ducal Palace collapsed, right up to the end.

***

Thud.

The Grave of Stars.

It was a nickname given to this cemetery, which consoled knights who had embraced such stars, as the number of stars embedded in one’s soul increased by one each time they broke through a realm.

Here lay buried knights who had served the Duke Oleg family from its early days, loyal retainers who followed the Duke Oleg family, and my comrades and friends, including the knights of the Duke Oleg family.

No, to be precise, only gravestones bearing their names remained here.

Step. Step.

I walked past the gravestones of my friends.

‘Come to think of it, were their coffins in the Ducal Palace basement?’

I had been so distracted that I forgot, but I should order my subordinates later to reinter the coffins here.

And have the cemetery caretaker and the Ducal Palace walls surrounding the cemetery repaired.

I also needed to restore the fallen Mullifen to its former state.

‘……’

I walked past the gravestones without coffins.

Step. Step. Step.

Anastasia.

Nikita.

Helena.

And—

Thud.

Agape.

There was one more coffin-less gravestone at the very end.

It was my grave.

‘……’

To think the day would come when I would see my own grave with my own eyes.

Perhaps if the me of decades ago had heard these words, I would have cursed them, telling them not to spout such ridiculous nonsense.

Because the me of that time would have taken those words offensively.

But now, I felt relieved.

Because I was dead.

The human named Agape was now a dead person in this world.

As such, any traces of me, the human, would have been erased by the ravages of time across this vast continent.

Rustle.

Cerebus had told me before he came to Mullifen.

When wishing with the amber, normally it would be impossible to erase a person’s existence due to the fake amber’s limited power.

However, if there were no traces of something I left behind in life, and few or no people remembered me.

Or, if there were only people who wanted to erase their memories of me.

Unless someone held a very strong memory of me, everyone would forget me, and all records of me would be erased.

Therefore, even using this fake amber that grants wishes, it would be much easier to erase Agape’s existence.

Now, there was no one left who tried to remember me. No one who wished to meet me. No one who called my name.

‘It was a long, yet short life.’

Rustle.

When I half-unwrapped the red muffler, a silver sword blade was revealed.

It was my father’s gladius.

Thunk—

With the sword plunged in, I muttered my name.

“Agape.”

“…Agape.”

“……Agape.”

Just before I shattered the amber in my hand.

I looked once more at the gravestone that would become my tomb.

“……”

Agape would soon die.

A bitter laugh escaped me…

By being forgotten by everyone,

Drip. Drip.

A bitter laugh escaped me…

Forever. Unremembered by anyone.

Yes.

‘…Not so—’

It wasn’t a bad life.

Crack—