Chapter 151: I don’t owe you anything – 6

At my father’s words, hot tears welled up in my eyes once again.

“Father…”

As I faced his face, my lips trembled involuntarily.

I couldn’t stop the emotions that had been suppressed from spilling out.

“…I tried, Father…”

From the moment I was dragged to Loctana for my younger siblings, not a single day had been easy.

From the moment I set foot on the Loctana estate, I was met with resentment and hatred.

My enemy I met in the castle.

The relentless effort I put in to protect her.

But even though I gave everything, all that remained on my body were scars.

“…I tried so hard…”

I didn’t do it because I needed anyone’s recognition.

But standing in front of my father, it felt as if I had returned to my childhood, and my heart became tender.

A deep emotion.

My father said.

“I know, son.”

He was usually a man of few words.

For a father who was so stingy with praise, hearing these words made my chest flutter.

Seeing me like this, he smiled lightly.

“…How many times do I have to tell you not to cry?”

It was a familiar phrase.

It was something I always said to Vivian, but now my father was saying it to me.

Through my tears, I managed a faint smile.

“Even as I grow older… I suppose that temperament doesn’t change…”

I wiped my tears with my fingers.

Seeing that my tears wouldn’t stop, my father, instead of scolding me, raised his other arm weakly.

“…Come here, let me hug you.”

Had he ever said something like that before?

When I was little, and secretly cried during sword training when it got tough, he would always scold me.

But I was no longer a child.

A person who had never done this before, now with difficulty, raised his arm.

It seemed like he was acknowledging the work I had done, and I bit my lip to stop more tears from falling.

I carefully embraced my father.

It was surprising that he could be so small.

“…Our eldest son.”

But that frail hug felt as if my mother was also present.

“…You’ve worked hard.”

Drip…

Tears fell down my father’s back.

Before I could pull away from his embrace, I quickly wiped my tears and straightened up.

I then called for the doctor and my younger siblings.

My siblings wept in front of my father, and the doctor shook his head as always.

After a while of confusion, my father spoke to everyone.

“Everyone, leave except for Kailo.”

My father seemed to have read my expression.

He clearly knew that I was holding on to some kind of worry.

Perhaps feeling better, he leaned back against the bed, and his voice, after opening his eyes, was filled with determination.

“…How is the North after a long time?”

He opened the conversation.

“Does it feel like home?”

It seemed like he already knew the answer.

So I chuckled and replied.

“I still need to get used to it.”

“In what way?”

“The weather is cold, and the food is salty. It feels completely different from before.”

My father burst into laughter.

“Yeah. You definitely stayed in that land for a long time.”

After that, a brief awkward silence passed.

My father, who had not taken his eyes off me, soon turned to a subject we had not discussed.

“…It seems like there’s still business left in that land.”

His words made me flinch.

I knew how much my father despised the Rondor family.

After every bloody battle with them, someone important to him always died.

So it was impossible for me to say that I still had lingering feelings toward them, even if I tried to separate my emotions.

“…No, I… I finished everything. I ended the war, and I finished the ties…”

“Don’t lie, Kailo.”

-Don’t lie, Kailo.

As Vivian’s voice echoed in my mind, I tightly shut my eyes.

It seemed like I couldn’t hide anything in front of my father.

And as if that had become the trigger, I hesitated for a moment before speaking.

• Slowly, as if unraveling a thread, I told the whole story.

There was a time when I lamented about losing my way in front of my father.

The feeling was the same even now.

Although it had never happened before, I wished someone would take the reins for me now.

The story of the old woman who had cursed me as soon as I entered the estate.

The emotions I felt when I saw Vivian right after.

The story of blindly shedding blood for her.

The moment I doubted if my feelings were the curse itself.

And the moment I saw Vivian above the magic circle.

“…Was it a curse?”

I finally asked my father.

He was silent for a moment before slowly nodding.

“It was a curse. When I see you struggling like this, it seems so.”

“…That’s not what I meant by asking if it was a curse.”

“It doesn’t really matter whether it was that kind of curse or not.”

“…What?”

“I don’t think I can give you an answer on that, but the important thing is that you must make a choice that you won’t regret.”

“Always, Kailo. When you get scared of the situation in front of you and try to choose the logical and right path, you end up regretting it later. Sometimes, you need to make selfish choices, and sometimes, you must take the wrong path.”

He looked at me slowly and said.

“…I shouldn’t have sent you.”

“Father…”

“Even if it meant the destruction of our family… I should have protected you.”

The thin arms were filled with strength.

Before I knew it, my fists were tightly clenched.

“I’ve always taught you to protect the weak… But haven’t I failed to protect you? Useless things like being an Invincible Knight… All those words don’t matter. I was a coward.”

His voice was full of pain.

But he didn’t linger on that pain for long.

“You must not make the same mistake as I did, Kailo.”

“I don’t know what choice you will make, but whatever it is, don’t regret it.”

If I hear the news that Vivian is dead, will I be okay?

Now, when I am still unsure whether it was a curse.

Now, when I have a crack in my mind wondering if it was really my own feelings.

…Will I be okay in the distant future?

‘There is no such curse.’

The words of Master Lyle.

-If Vivian is killed like that, I can already see the regretful version of you.

The words of Valon.

-What did that witch do to you, brother?

The words of Kayla.

After a long silence, I spoke to my father.

“…I might die.”

“It sounds like you’re asking me to stop you.”

“…Father… It’s not that…”

“If you fail at something so important that you’re willing to risk death, the pain of failure will follow you like death itself.”

“That’s not it… If I die, the family…”

My father looked at me blankly and then let out a loud, mocking laugh.

It was the most powerful expression I had seen from him today.

“The family?”

“For my selfishness… I can’t neglect the family…”

“What exactly has our family done for you?”

“…What?”

“You’ve experienced so many things you shouldn’t have just because you were born my son. All you’ve done is suffer. So why are you worried about the family?”

“But… that’s not it… Didn’t you summon me with a letter?”

“I said I missed you, but who asked you to lead the family?”

“Gisela Lute—”

“I only found you a proper woman hoping you’d be happy. I wanted a successor, but that’s just my desire. I thought everything would be up to your own choice. Even if you get tired of the family and disappear, I wouldn’t say anything.”

“You owe nothing to this family, Kailo. On the contrary… our family, your siblings, and the people of the estate owe you a debt.”

My eyes wandered for a long time.

I thought for a while and then spoke.

“But…”

But the words didn’t come out.

No matter what I said, it felt like an excuse.

A choice I wouldn’t regret.

“…Ha.”

I had thought about this hundreds of times over the past few days.

Even now, I continued to think about it hundreds of times more.

I sat there like that for a long time.

I sat still, waiting for the sun to set and the moon to rise.

My father said nothing and waited for my decision.

His presence was more reassuring than anything else.

Finally, I relaxed my body.

Then, I looked up at my father.

“…I’m glad mother isn’t here right now.”

At those words, my father smiled.

I said it.

“If she had been there, how much would I have been scolded?”

My father also warned me.

“…Kayla, be careful of her.”

***

-Thunk!

I kicked the bed where Valon was lying.

“Hey. Get up now. Go back to the South.”

Valon replied sluggishly and gruffly.

“I said I’m not going back. I’m not going without you.”

Then he froze when he saw me.

A long robe with a hood covering his head.

Under that robe, there was tough leather armor.

The sword Valon brought was loosely held in his left hand, and his boots were also new.

It was clothes to hide his appearance.

In the South, the Las Order would be hunting me down.

“Go back.”

I threw his gear at him and said.

“You… you, like this…”

“Don’t get the wrong idea.”

I spoke to Valon.

“Even if Vivian burns to death in the fire, I might just stay still.”

“…Kailo.”

“I just won’t run away cowardly, like you said.”

An ending is necessary.

Rather than continuing to agonize and stay still, I need to go down and check.

I still have no intention of helping the witch who betrayed me for her own selfish reasons.

However, if she didn’t betray me…

…I need to go and see for myself.

I didn’t want the end of our long antagonism to be settled in this unfamiliar land.

Whether it’s a curse or not, the fact that she survived because of me cannot be denied.

So the life I saved, it is right that it should vanish before my eyes if it is to disappear.

TL Note: I am bored.