Chapter 138: Outburst – 1

“A wife, what nonsense.”

I played it off with a laugh, trying to brush the conversation aside.

“Why? What’s the problem?”

But Kayla wasn’t having it.

She refused to let this topic slip away.

“We need an heir now. You know that as well as I do.”

I had no argument.

Just stubborn resistance.

“I said, forget it.”

“Hah, seriously, brother…”

And as always, a stance with no logic behind it had no strength.

Kayla grabbed my arm and pulled me along.

Wait, hold on—?

Before I could protest, we crossed several cold, damp stone steps and arrived at the head of the household’s office.

As expected, the family head had plenty of work to do; her desk was overflowing with letters and documents.

Kayla roughly cleared the mess, splitting it in half, then pointed to the pile of letters.

“Do you know what all of these are?”

“…Letters?”

“Do you know what kind of letters they are?”

“…What are they?”

Kayla picked up one and held it up.

“These are all marriage proposals for you.”

I looked at the towering pile of at least a hundred letters.

“…All of this?”

“Every single one.”

As if sensing my disbelief, Kayla handed me a random letter to check for myself.

What I had thought was just a messy pile turned out to be an organized collection.

The formats varied.

Some were from lords personally offering their daughters’ hands in marriage.

Others were written by noblewomen themselves, confessing their feelings and seeking a connection with me.

Reading through a few, I couldn’t understand how they could be so direct.

Kayla smirked at my dazed expression, then read one aloud.

“Look at this one. ‘I will bear enough children to form a knightly order for you. I adore you.’”

She chuckled.

“What kind of mindset do you need to write something like this?”

I couldn’t understand.

“What did I do to deserve this?”

“Your achievements are famous. Among those taken hostage to the Delrum Kingdom, find me someone who has accomplished what you have.”

“But that was just something I did. I haven’t done anything for the people sending these letters.”

“They’re hoping. That if they become your family, you’ll achieve things for them, too.”

“…They’ve never even met me. How could they say they love me?”

“Why? How difficult should it be to fall in love?”

Difficult…?

The love I knew…

I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh.

If it was love, why was it her that came to mind first?

That heavy, suffocating feeling—something far from lightheartedness—surely couldn’t be called love.

Kayla continued.

“Honestly, it’s getting hard for me to keep rejecting these. It’s disrespectful to keep turning down such sincere proposals without reason.”

“When you were in Loctana, I rejected them saying you weren’t here. When you returned, I said you needed time to settle back. But now, I don’t have any more excuses.”

“Of course, if you really don’t want to, I won’t force you. But at least give me a reason. Say you dislike women who approach too easily. Say you refuse to marry someone unattractive.”

“…Kayla.”

“Or is it because you still love Vivian Rondor?”

At her words, my body went rigid.

Her remark had cut straight into the depths of my heart, leaving me speechless.

Kayla shrugged.

“You think I wouldn’t know? I saw you two embracing when I visited Rondor Castle.”

“The reason you couldn’t return immediately was her, wasn’t it? Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you liked her?”

I opened my mouth, but I didn’t even know what nonsense I was about to spill.

“…Vivian is—”

But Kayla cut me off, as if my words didn’t matter.

“But brother, the fact that you’re here means you’ve already ended things.”

“Vivian Rondor is just a stranger now. Isn’t that right?”

She was right.

A stranger.

Completely unrelated to me now.

And yet, why did those words feel so heavy?

Kayla placed a hand over my eyes.

“-“

“Close your eyes and think, brother.”

“Imagine Vivian never existed. Imagine you’ve forgotten her. If that were the case… would you still have a reason to reject all these proposals?”

I had no answer.

I thought I resented Vivian.

But now, I realized—something deep inside me still refused to let her go.

I wanted to hate her, to kill the thought of her, yet I still clung to it.

No… I wasn’t holding on to it.

It was a curse.

Seeing myself like this, it had to be a curse.

“…They say you get over someone by meeting someone new.”

“…Hah.”

Will this curse dull if I meet someone else?

“If Vivian is the problem… It will hurt, but brother. Try meeting someone else.”

***

“Did you find it?”

Bishop Baristan asked as he looked at Leopold, who had returned from the expedition holding the relic.

Leopold, with a complicated expression, confronted the bishop as soon as he arrived.

“The relic… The relic is acting strange.”

“Strange? What do you mean?”

The relic is used as a guidepost.

Trembling and emitting a clear sound, this relic reacts more violently the stronger one feels its magical power.

Paladins use this characteristic to determine their direction, running toward the path where the relic reacts the most intensely.

“But the relic keeps stiffening. No matter which direction I go, it doesn’t resonate beyond a certain level.”

Leopold had set out to hunt down a witch using the relic’s guidance, but he reported that it kept growing silent.

“When I cross into the Eastern Kingdom, it becomes especially quiet. No matter how I think about it, the witch can’t be there…”

“Well, that’s at least a relief.”

The northerners did not believe in the existence of witches.

As a result, they did not hold the Las Church in high regard either.

“…A relief, you say?”

Leopold whispered in confusion.

“So, have you considered what I mentioned?”

Leopold nodded.

“…If it’s near Loctana, the relic does resonate steadily. But for a witch to be hiding in Loctana, the relic’s reaction is far too weak.”

Baristan spoke.

“Then we go to Loctana.”

“…What?”

Before the relic was discovered, witch hunters searched for witches one by one.

Even now, that method was still in practice.

Only those who had failed in witch trials could be found using the relic, while the rest had to be hunted down manually.

That’s why Baristan never relied too much on the relic.

It was always instinct.

Instinct, always.

To exterminate these cockroaches, one must always trust their instincts.

Find a suspicious target and never let go.

If you’re wrong, it can’t be helped, but if you’re right… then another witch is dead.

…Vivian.

She was always a suspicious one.

She had oppressed the Las Order, claiming their persecution was too severe.

The moment war broke out, she expelled the Church from the city.

She even warned that if they refused to leave, she would resort to retaliation.

Since Kailo Alan had successfully hunted down many witches, Baristan had no room to argue…

“The only area beyond our proper surveillance is Loctana. Also, considering that our former witch hunter, Kailo Alan, has returned to his homeland… we must take action.”

“That may be true, but as I mentioned, if the witch was in Loctana, the relic wouldn’t be reacting so faintly…”

“We’re going to Loctana.”

Baristan made his decision firm.

“This time, I will accompany you again.”

Leopold straightened his posture upon seeing the certainty in Baristan’s eyes.

Without further argument, he replied:

“Yes. I will prepare.”

***

A large number of knights and retainers had gathered in the hall of Alan Castle.

Unlike the hall of Rondor Castle, this place had a fundamentally different atmosphere.

The hall of Rondor Castle had smooth tiles covering the floor, and wide windows allowing sunlight to pour in.

The ceiling displayed the sun of Rondor, and the space was filled with warm colors—red, gold, yellow.

Elegant chandeliers and the architectural design made the place feel welcoming, enveloping its visitors in a sense of comfort.

• In contrast, the hall of Alan Castle was nothing but rugged.

The floors and walls were made of dull stone, and the heads of beasts were mounted everywhere.

A massive bonfire burned on one side of the wall.

There was no natural light, only the flickering of torches illuminating the space.

Instead of refined conversations between nobles, the air was filled with the boisterous laughter and voices of men.

If anything, the place felt more like the barracks of a punishment unit.

I looked at the knights and retainers gathered, drinking and reveling, and let out a scoff.

With their beards soaked in ale as they roared with laughter, I had one thought:

‘A bunch of savages.’

The thought sounded so southern that I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.

It seemed the knights and retainers thought the same of me.

“Ah, Sir Kailo ! Aren’t you sitting a bit too properly?”

“Come on! No need to follow those bothersome southern manners!”

“Have a drink with us! A true northerner should know how to drink!”

Before me sat only a glass of water.

I waved my hand dismissively, ignoring them.

At my gesture, the retainers only laughed even louder.

Seated beside me, Eleanor spoke.

“Oppa might not know, but I don’t know how long it’s been since they laughed like this.”

“…Really?”

“It seems like they feel reassured now that you’re here.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Oppa, but why don’t you drink alcohol?”

A conversation from the past resurfaced in my mind.

-Kailo, you know… I don’t think I’ll ever drink again if you disappear.”

-…Really?

–Yeah. If I do, I might forget the time I spent with you.

–…Every time I see alcohol from now on, I’ll think of you. So that no one can bury these memories… I won’t drink anymore.

–…I’ll do the same.

That’s what I told Vivian back then.

Even though that promise had lost its meaning now, I was still keeping it.

Trying to clear my thoughts, I looked around and saw Ragon standing hesitantly in the distance, simply observing the atmosphere.

“Why is Ragon here?”

“Ragon…? Oh? It really is Ragon!”

Reginald chimed in from beside me.

“I think it’s because of you, hyung.”

“…Me?”

“Ragon’s been swinging a wooden sword in his room lately, imitating you.”

Hearing that, I chuckled and gestured for Ragon to come over.

His face lit up, and he ran toward me eagerly.

I sat him on my lap.

“Do you want something to eat?”

“Yes.”

His increasingly confident answers were a good sight to see.

I handed him some food, patted his head, and said,

“Ragon, grow up quickly. You need to protect your sisters when you do.”

A memory of my father’s words surfaced in my mind.

This little boy probably never got the chance to learn from him.

“As knights, we must protect the weak.”

A phrase I never truly understood until Vivian appeared in my life—I now passed those words onto Ragon.

“Got it?”

“…Yes.”

Lifting my gaze from Ragon, I looked at our family members laughing and chatting in the hall.

The realization hit me once again—these were the people I had to protect.

I wasn’t yet fully set on becoming the head of the family.

I was half and half.

Either way, these people were my responsibility.

Kayla was right.

An heir was necessary.

A direct successor had to exist, and the order of succession had to be clear to prevent the family from falling apart.

There was no guarantee that we wouldn’t end up like the Rondor family.

Among the uncles who had left the family, could I be certain that none of them were like Robert Rondor?

…An heir.

A child with someone other than Vivian.

…Could I love that child?

Could I embrace a child not born from Vivian, but from another woman?

Would it be right to have a child with such a heart?

“…Haa.”

“Oppa?”

Noticing my expression, Kayla looked at me with concern.

I looked back at her.

There were things that had to be done, even if I didn’t want to.

It was something I had told Vivian countless times.

What would Vivian think of my choice?

…No.

I shouldn’t think about it.

I need to break free.

I need to struggle.

If I don’t, I feel like I’ll be crushed by this curse and be in pain forever.

“Kayla, help me out starting tomorrow.”

“…With what?”

“…Finding my spouse. It’s time to start looking.”