Chapter 136: Homecoming – 3

I stood in front of my mother’s grave and scattered flowers.

It felt somewhat unreal.

Seeing my mother, who used to hug me tightly, shedding tears while waving a handkerchief until she was out of sight, now turned into a mound of earth, was overwhelming.

I thought I would be filled with sadness, but no tears came.

I had expected my mother would be disappointed that I couldn’t show her the person I’ve become, but I felt indifferent.

Maybe I just hadn’t caught up with my emotions yet.

Perhaps more time was needed.

“…I’m here, mother.”

Still, I offered a formal greeting.

It felt strange, speaking to something that wasn’t quite my mother, as if I was talking to her in some other way.

“I’m sorry I’m so late.”

After arriving, the chaotic day passed quickly.

I said my goodbyes to family and the departed.

After washing in warm water, I went to bed.

There were maidservants who came into the bathroom to help wash me.

“…What is this?’”

“Eh? Well…! No, I…”

Seeing them enter the bathroom without hesitation, I began to understand my position more clearly.

-Do you not need hand Kailo?

Vivian’s voice echoed.

That was true.

I was more uncomfortable with unfamiliar methods.

It wasn’t a sense of comfort, but more like squeezing into clothes that didn’t fit.

After taking a bath alone, I fell into bed and slept soundly for the whole day.

I woke up several times from nightmares about Vivian, but my exhaustion was so intense that I kept falling back to sleep.

The cycle of nightmares and waking up continued.

It wasn’t until I had slept for two full days that I could gather my senses.

After a long rest, I finally took the time to check on my body.

Since leaving Vivian, I hadn’t had the chance for something so simple.

The necklace that Vivian had given me was still around my neck.

The moment I felt disgusted, I tried to take it off, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

My hands trembled uncontrollably.

I didn’t know why, but I just couldn’t bring myself to remove it.

Despite feeling disgusted, the thought that it was the last remaining trace of her caused my body to freeze.

After struggling for a while, I finally let go of the necklace.

I placed it on the nightstand next to my bed.

I opened the door and went outside.

The maids and soldiers who were standing guard quickly straightened up and saluted me when they saw my face.

“Lord Kailo, you’re awake. If you need anything, please, call for us…”

I still wasn’t used to it.

Not one bit.

And beyond that, I didn’t feel comfortable at all.

It was uncomfortable that these people were taking care of even the smallest things that I could do myself.

Now I understood what it meant when they said “a commoner’s life”.

I asked them.

“When is mealtime?”

“Should we prepare a meal for you? It’s always at a different time, but around this time, usually.”

One of the maids replied.

The maids here were taller and had sharper features compared to those from the southern regions.

“What about the others?”

Though I wasn’t hungry, I asked about the meal because I wanted to share it with my family.

After all, now that I was back, I wanted to have a meal together.

But the maids exchanged looks, hesitating to answer.

When I raised an eyebrow in confusion, one of the maids spoke.

“The young masters have already eaten… the young ladies have not yet.”

Were Kayla and Eleanor waiting for me?

“Did I sleep too long? No one needed to wait for me to eat?”

“It’s not that…”

“Huh?”

“They usually eat separately.”

I furrowed my brow.

“What does that mean?”

Had a new custom emerged in the north while I was away?

The maid shook her head, her expression showing she didn’t know how to begin explaining to me, an outsider.

“After the mistress passed away, and after the master collapsed, things changed.”

I was at a loss for words.

The maid then explained how my siblings had scattered.

“Lady Kayla often skips meals due to her busy schedule. Lord Ragon has been staying in his room more often and eating there. Lady Eleanor and Lord Reginald ate together for a while, but after some time, it seems they all started eating separately, as the scattered feeling made them uncomfortable.”

“…Sigh.”

So, they had scattered because there was no longer a center holding them together.

I wonder when this started, my heart feels heavy.

While I was rolling around in the South because of that witch, Vivian, my siblings must have been suffering as well.

Now that Father has collapsed, I had to be the one to hold things together.

Even though it’s late, this is an opportunity to set things right.

I told the maids.

“Gather the kids.”

***

Eleanor and Reginald were the first to arrive and sat at the table.

The table was filled with a variety of food.

“Brother, you’re up? Are you feeling okay? Wow, what’s all this?”

“Oppa, you’re awake?”

I simply nodded.

They tried to gauge my mood, looking for clues.

Kayla was the next to arrive.

“You’re up. Oh, did you call everyone to eat together?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

Kayla looked at Reginald.

“…But unfortunately, Reginald and Ragon have already eaten.”

“I know.”

“…Huh?”

Ragon arrived last.

The 8-year-old, who hadn’t received the love of parents, timidly walked behind the maids’ legs.

Once everyone had seated, I scratched my head.

I had gathered them, but I wasn’t in a position to lecture them.

Would it make anyone feel good if I suddenly showed up one day and started saying things they didn’t want to hear?

It would only push them further away from me.

I spoke up.

“I heard. You guys have been eating separately.”

“Brother… that means… I…”

Kayla frowned, feeling guilty at those words. “

Kayla, it’s okay. I’m not blaming you. It’s the fault of Father and Mother for not being there for you.”

“Oh, brother…!”

Eleanor frowned at my harsh words, but Father and Mother probably would have wanted this, even if it meant being scolded.

“You kids couldn’t have done much. I believe you all did your best.”

Even as I said that, the words felt familiar.

What could the kids have done?

…Vivian was the same.

I realized anew how hard the struggles with her had been.

…No, it wasn’t the struggles with Vivian.

I had been manipulated and used.

I shook off my thoughts of Vivian and said.

“But now, I want to eat with my family.”

I looked at each of my siblings.

“I missed this scene.”

“…Ah.”

Reginald let out a small sigh.

Eleanor lowered her head, and Kayla looked at me, seeming sorry.

Ragon fidgeted with his fingers.

“I heard you guys were eating separately, but I don’t like that. Got it? If we’re family, we should eat together. There are people who can’t do that. Like Vivian, I mean, me.”

Everyone nodded.

“From now on, we’ll eat together three times a day.”

Kayla gave me a quiet smile at my decision.

That smile was full of trust in me.

“…As expected, brother, you’re the one who fixes things like this.”

“…I just missed this scene.”

I replied.

I hadn’t spoken like that to anyone before, so it felt awkward.

In Loctana, you couldn’t survive with a soft tone.

I tried to hide my awkwardness by changing the subject.

“Alright, let’s eat. Ragon, Reginald, I know you’re full, but… at least stay here with us. It’s my wish as the older brother.”

“Alright.”

“…Okay.”

I reached for the food, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

“What’s this? You’re eating bread first when there’s all this food? I thought you liked meat, brother?”

Eleanor, too, seemed to be asking out of curiosity, perhaps to break the awkwardness between us.

She was right, it was a habit.

A habit I picked up from eating with Vivian.

I always checked the food to see if it was poisoned, and Vivian’s favorite food was bread.

As a result, I started every meal with bread.

No matter how much I tried to forget, traces of Vivian remained in me.

Even if I consciously tried to push it away, it still came out unconsciously.

I smiled at Eleanor while chewing the bread.

It was hard to keep up the false expression as Vivian’s thoughts surfaced again.

“I missed the bread from home. The bread in the South is too soft and lacks substance.”

“Ah.”

… What would Vivian be doing right now?

I want to forget about that witch, but I’ve accepted that it’s not something I can do at the moment.

Would she shake it off, stop pretending, and click her tongue while saying she’s disappointed?

Or is she thinking about finding another doll to replace me?

… Or is she alone, crying again?

Would she be continuing her meal alone in the grand hall, like before?

When I looked at my siblings, I felt at ease.

And with that peace, the thought of someone who doesn’t have family or allies started to trouble me.

“…Damned bastard.”

I muttered to myself, feeling pathetic for thinking this way.

“Huh?”

Kayla looked up from cutting the duck meat, startled, and looked at me.

I quickly shook my head and offered an excuse.

“…No, something just came to mind.”

I sighed and tried to shake off thoughts of Vivian, focusing on my siblings.

Reginald, who had already eaten, was forcefully shoveling food into his mouth as if he was eating in battle.

When I smiled at him, Eleanor scolded him.

“Hey. Don’t eat so sloppily in front of your brother…”

I shook my head.

“No, you guys know, I don’t know much about manners. Honestly, it’s more comfortable and familiar to eat like Reginald. You have to eat a lot. You need to grow a lot.”

Reginald seemed to think that this was my consideration for him, and with a look of grievance, he muttered at Eleanor while giving her a sideways glance.

His words were muddled because his mouth was full.

“Huh, huh, this ohh… (Tongue, I miss this…)”

I could feel my younger brother’s thoughts and laughed again.

Looking beside me, I saw Ragon, quietly glancing at me, eating diligently as well.

Though he couldn’t openly ask for praise, it seemed like he was trying to earn it.

They were so cute that I finally spoke up.

“As I said when I first came, how about we guys have a meal together and swing a sword or two?”

Reginald’s eyes lit up.

After he awkwardly swallowed the food he had stuffed in his mouth, he excitedly shouted.

“Oppa!! I’ve heard the rumors about you!! You caught a dragon, and killed Eight Khts alone!! Is it all true?”

He swung the knife in his hand like a sword, making swooshing sounds.

Food from the knife splattered onto Eleanor’s face.

“Hey!!”

Eleanor yelled angrily, but I replied to the excited Reginald.

“Yeah, it’s true.”

“Wow…! My Oppa did that…!!”

Though the achievements were made helplessly, like a moth to the flame due to the curse, I couldn’t tell Reginald that.

“I’ll tell you all about it, Reginald. If you’re from our family, you have to know how to swing a sword.”

“I… I’ve heard that I’m already pretty good! But Vestor says Kailo’s talent is better…”

Vestor was the swordsmanship instructor of the Alan family.

He was also the one who came with Kayla to find me in Loctana.

“If you’re confident, show me. You can test it out outside.”

I said to Reginald.

Meanwhile, Ragon was just observing.

“Ragon, you don’t have to be great, but let’s work on building enough skills to protect yourself.”

“…Yes.”

As I spoke, Kayla and Eleanor exchanged glances.

They both started laughing quietly and then quickly averted their gazes.

***

Entering the sparring grounds, I saw Reginald, who was full of energy.

Beside him, Ragon was trying to imitate Reginald.

From afar, the maids were gossiping.

“Oh my, oh my… Look at Ragon…! The normally so timid one…!”

“It seems like Ragon feels something now…”

“Having a reliable brother makes such a difference.”

“Thank goodness Lord Kailo came.”

Vestor was watching us with a satisfied expression.

“I never thought this day would come.”

“Bring the wooden swords, Vestor.”

At Vestor’s gesture, the soldiers who had been watching came running with our wooden swords.

Of course, my sword was for an adult, while Reginald’s was smaller, and Ragon’s was even smaller.

“I… I want that one.”

However, Ragon, perhaps not wanting to be outdone by Reginald, asked for a wooden sword of the same size as Reginald’s.

Since our family tradition involved using two-handed swords, I smiled and watched, thinking that it wouldn’t hurt for him to get used to the heavier one.

“g!”

Then, Reginald raised his voice.

“Huh?”

“Before we start learning! I want to see one thing first!”

“?”

“Please spar with Vestor just once!”

Vestor looked embarrassed.

“Do, do you really want me to spar with Kailo…?”

Reginald didn’t stop.

“I’ve never met anyone who swings a sword better than Vestor!! So I want to see with my own eyes how strong you are!! Besides, Vestor says you’re stronger now… Honestly, I don’t believe it… How can you be better than Vestor at swords…?”

“He was always better than our father at swords! You know that, right?”

I hesitated for a moment.

If I defeat Vestor here, it might excite my siblings even more.

Maybe if I give them the courage to believe they can beat Vestor, they’ll grow into greater individuals.

…And honestly, I also wanted to impress my siblings.

Since I haven’t gotten too close to my younger siblings yet, I have a desire to be recognized as their older brother.

As far as I remember, Vestor was better with a sword than our father.

That doesn’t mean I’m lacking in confidence.

While our father gained respect through war, I’ve endured so far with swordsmanship.

I’m someone who specializes in one-on-one or one-versus-many battles, not in chaotic fights involving thousands of people.

I glanced at Vestor.

He looked at me briefly as well.

Vestor, who had been humbly asking how to win, still had the competitive spirit of a knight in his eyes.

He seemed curious, too.

I looked at my younger siblings.

“There’s nothing I can’t do.”

“R-Really? But, even if Vestor wins, I won’t say anything! Honestly, I can’t imagine Vestor losing!”

Reginald shouted excitedly.

Watching this from a distance, Kayla spoke up.

“Oppa… don’t overdo it!”

Eleanor also shouted.

“Are you sure you have to do this? The head of the family doesn’t have to be skilled in swordsmanship!”

Both of them still didn’t fully believe in me.

I only smiled.

“Ha…”

At my response, Vestor also sighed.

“I didn’t want to do this, but since I’m doing it, I’ll do it properly. I don’t want to lose my status as a master… everyone still thinks I’m the strongest, you know. I like that.”

I nodded.

Then I looked at my younger siblings.

“Watch closely. Got it?”

Reginald’s eyes started to sparkle even more.

Ragon also slightly opened his mouth, looking forward to it.

***

“…I’ve lost.”

Vestor collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily, looking up at me.

His sword had flown far away, and my wooden sword was already touching his neck.

Even in defeat, his face was filled with joy.

“I don’t know how long it’s been since I felt this way. That was a refreshing defeat. You’ve grown up so much… so proudly.”

“Wow!!”

Reginald jumped up and down, continuously expressing his admiration.

Despite her worries, Kayla kept asking Eleanor.

“Did you see that? Did you see that?”

While holding onto the maids.

Eleanor didn’t let go of them.

Ragon kept fiddling with his wooden sword, swinging it around.

Even with these adorable reactions from my younger siblings, I couldn’t smile.

…What’s going on?

I looked down at my left hand.

I hadn’t noticed when I was using a spoon or washing myself.

But now, when I held the twin swords and swung them around, I could feel it.

There was no strength in my left hand.

It was a sudden disability.

Only one thing had changed, so the cause must also be one.

“…Vivian.”

She did something to me.