Chapter 110: You cant go anywhere – 4

Vivian, who was steadying her breathing, sat down and drank her tea.

Madam Linne also followed her actions.

“…I’m sorry. I got too worked up.”

Vivian offered an apology to wrap up the situation.

Madam Linne swallowed hard and shook her head.

“…I, I crossed the line. I didn’t understand your feelings at all, Vivian.”

“L-let’s change the subject. There’s another reason I came to visit today.”

Anyone entangled with Vivian would only suffer losses.

Madam Linne knew this well and smoothly shifted the topic.

“You’ll be coming of age soon, won’t you? It’s time to host another banquet.”

Vivian nodded silently.

It was the right thing to do.

No matter the circumstances, this couldn’t be avoided.

“This time, it would be better to host a larger event than before. We should invite many guests. It’s an opportunity to announce Rondor’s revival. We should also make it clear who the real ruler of Loctana is.”

Vivian nodded again.

Madam Linne continued speaking.

“Finding guests to invite shouldn’t be difficult. You know, don’t you? A few months ago, Prince Thread and Princess Reina finally got married.”

“…Yes, I’m aware.”

After a long negotiation, Prince Thread and Princess Reina were finally wed.

Vivian couldn’t attend their wedding because she was embroiled in a war with Robert at the time, but she distinctly remembered sending a congratulatory letter.

The absence of a contentious figure brought her some relief.

However, Vivian still felt her heart ignite whenever she recalled Reina dancing with Kailo.

Vivian knew there had been a strange tension between the two.

…And that if not for the war, Princess Reina would have originally been Kailo’s lord.

“In any case, with the Eastern Kingdom and Delrum Kingdom now practically allied… it might be a good idea to invite the families of the Eastern Kingdom to show our support.”

Madam Linne, cautiously observing Vivian’s reaction, suggested.

“…If you support peace with the Eastern Kingdom, it wouldn’t be an odd picture for the Rondor and Alan families to join hands. Even the royal family has suggested such a marriage alliance, so there’s no reason Rondor and Alan couldn’t follow suit.”

“…Yes, that’s true.”

This time, Vivian gave a definite response.

She knew the citizens of Loctana had suffered under the Alan family.

But, to put it bluntly, it wasn’t easy to empathize with the pain of people she was only distantly connected to.

The only reason Vivian had to hate the Alan family was because of her family.

However, now that the true culprit behind her family’s death had been revealed, Vivian couldn’t bring herself to antagonize them anymore.

Instead, she felt a deep sense of guilt.

If it could be mended, she wanted to mend it.

Even if it met with resistance from the citizens of Loctana, Vivian was willing to try.

After all, it wasn’t the citizens of Loctana who had helped her rise to her current position.

It was thanks to Kailo that she was where she was now.

She wanted to repay him, now and in the future.

To compensate for his hardships, she was willing to give him anything he desired.

That was the nature of being intertwined with her for life.

It was always more natural for a man to lead a family than a woman.

The man who married her would become the true ruler of Loctana.

That’s why so many marriage proposals were coming her way.

Despite offering it all to Kailo, he had rejected it.

Vivian couldn’t understand.

He refused compensation for his struggles.

All he wanted was to return to his hometown.

…And for some reason, his deep exhaustion and apparent disgust toward her made it all the more difficult for Vivian.

“…Master. I’d like you to take full charge of this banquet. I’ve been busy with other matters recently…”

There was no need to elaborate on what she meant by “busy matters.”

Madam Linne, eager to make up for her earlier mistake, simply nodded.

“Of course. I’ll do my best to prepare a splendid banquet. But as for inviting guests…”

“I’ll leave that to you as well, Master.”

“Should we invite the families of the Eastern Kingdom?”

‘There are already more than enough marriage proposals.’

Kailo’s voice echoed in her mind.

Vivian nodded.

“Yes. Invite as many as you wish. The royal family has made peace with the Eastern Kingdom, so I should demonstrate it with action too.”

Despite her words, Vivian’s thoughts were singular.

She wanted everyone to know that Kailo belonged to her.

So that no one could dare touch him.

***

Snow fell in Loctana.

Snowflakes poured incessantly from the sky, blanketing the ground.

It was the first snow I’d seen in seven years.

Back home, it had been a familiar sight I encountered daily, but perhaps because it had been so long, it now felt strangely unfamiliar.

The world, spread out in pure white, seemed dreamlike and surreal, and I found myself staring up at the sky in awe of its mystique.

The same was true for everyone—my companions, the maids, and even the retainers.

For those who had never ventured to the cold northern regions, many were seeing snow for the first time.

Even my friends from the punishment unit of the past, usually hardened by experience, seemed as thrilled as children, forgetting their age and the cold as they played outside.

Clad in thin garments far from adequate for the chill, no one seemed to mind.

They rolled on the snow until their noses turned red, shaping snowballs and throwing them at one another, laughing unreservedly as hidden joy bubbled to the surface.

Even the maids exchanged glances with soldiers as snowballs flew, fostering small, budding connections amidst the flurry.

—Thud!

A snowball struck the side of my head, bursting into white powder.

The broken fragments trickled down my collar, sending a sudden chill through me.

Startled, I turned to hear laughter ringing out beside me.

There stood Vivian.

In the white expanse, she stood out like a blooming red rose, captivating in her beauty.

For a moment, her radiance left me spellbound.

“So this is snow.”

Vivian said to me.

Her voice was filled with wonder, as though she had just discovered a great secret.

Her expression hinted at happiness, as if she was glad to experience this with me.

I wanted to smile back at her, but in the end, I didn’t.

I couldn’t return the feelings she showed me so openly.

I didn’t want to give her false hope.

My heart remained unchanged.

I would return to my homeland.

That decision would not waver.

She was right, and so was I.

I feared that my feelings were a curse, as I had claimed, but I also worried, as she had said, about the harm I might cause her.

If it truly was a curse, I would be unable to have children and would soon die.

The Rondor family, which Vivian had worked so hard to rebuild, would meet its end that way.

A family doomed to extinction for lack of an heir—what a hollow end that would be.

And I believed her when she said that if I died, she would follow me.

I couldn’t bear for that to happen.

Ultimately, it was a mix of reasons: the emptiness of having no reason to stay here, doubts about my current feelings, and concerns about the future.

When I avoided her gaze and kept from smiling, her own smile gradually faded.

—Thud.

This time, a softer snowball struck my shoulder.

It was a small signal, her way of trying to reconnect the thread between us that had frayed.

But I didn’t respond.

I blinked weakly and let out a weary sigh.

“How… how is that a curse?”

Vivian’s voice, now a whisper, reached me.

“How is that a curse when you can’t even smile at me…?”

Her smile quickly crumbled into sadness.

The sharp ache in my chest, a feeling I had grown to despise, resurfaced.

I loathed this situation where I kept hurting her.

Consumed by frustration, I finally faced her.

A fire ignited in my heart.

I stepped closer, gripping her arms tightly.

Grinding my teeth, I raised my voice slightly.

“So let me go…!!”

She tried to respond, but my emotions cut her off.

“We don’t need to keep hurting each other like this!! Why do you insist on making this so difficult?!”

Vivian, swallowing her tears, replied in a trembling voice.

She hadn’t shed a single tear since the moment I told her goodbye, as if she knew that crying would only hasten my departure.

Her restrained demeanor felt suffocating to me.

“I… I can’t let you go…”

I answered firmly.

“You don’t have to. I’ll leave on my own. So, just once, say it. Tell me goodbye.”

I pressed my forehead against hers.

In that cold, as I felt her warmth, memories of the years we had endured together came rushing back all at once.

“…Just say that. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Vivian, trembling with tearful eyes, looked at me.

Her crimson eyes reflected my dark pupils.

As I stood close, with our foreheads almost touching, she slowly rose onto her tiptoes with a delicate and tentative motion.

Her lips hesitated, moving closer to mine.

Every hesitation seemed to plead for permission, as if asking, “Can’t I kiss you just once?” or “Can’t you let me win just this once?”

Feeling the depth of her emotions, I wavered in my choice, and her lips hovered just short of touching mine.

Her faint, fragile breaths entered my mouth, carrying a familiar floral fragrance that made my mind reel.

Our eyes slowly began to close.

“…Hah.”

But in the end, I pushed her away.

Another rejection brought a deep sorrow to Vivian’s eyes.

“Let me go.”

Those were the only words I could muster.

Vivian shut her eyes tightly and spoke with a fragile, almost breaking smile.

“Ka… Kailo. I… my birthday is coming soon. I… I’ll be an adult soon.”

She didn’t need to say it—I already knew too well.

I had known since she was 13, since she was so small back then… until now.

At the very least, I wanted to see her grow into an adult.

“I have made it this far because… because you’ve protected me.”

I shook my head.

“What’s the point…? Vivian, the longer this drags on, the more it will hurt. Just let it go.”

“Ugh…! Hrk!!”

This time, Vivian grabbed my arm tightly.

Another rejection seemed to stir a new emotion within her.

“If you stay with me…! This entire land will be yours! So why do you keep rejecting me?!”

Her voice cracked with desperation.

“Other men look at what I have and covet it with reddened eyes! Do you know how many marriage proposals I get in a single day? I rejected all of them for you! And yet you say no?! Why?!”

She stammered as she spoke in a flustered rush.

“You’ll never find someone more beautiful than me, someone more elegant, more feminine, with a better figure than mine. Even I’ve never seen anyone like that with my own eyes… And I’m offering myself to you. Kailo, are you an idiot?”

This time, she even scoffed at me.

“Have you forgotten why Robert Rondor died? Why Count Corrode coveted me? They died because they desired what I have!”

“I’m offering you this land, this power, and even myself—everything.
And you’re throwing it all away to return to your hometown? Are you insane?
Is that what you want for all your past hardships?”

I replied firmly,

“If I wanted repayment, I shouldn’t have started this in the first place. I don’t need any of that anymore.”

Vivian screamed,

“Ugh…! Kailo!!”

I forced myself to ignore her pain.

“And besides… it’s you who forgot. Rondor isn’t the only land. If I return to my hometown, I’ll inherit land there too.
What reason would I have to covet Loctana?”

Vivian’s expression slowly turned still.

Her gaze dimmed as if losing its sparkle, leaving her eyes hollow.

In that state, she whispered,

“…Should I burn your hometown to ashes to make my offer sweeter?”

“…What?”

Vivian did not take back her words.

Instead, she remained silent.

Her shocking statement made me question my hearing.

Was she implying she’d start a war just for me?

…Probably not.

She was just saying that.

“…Hah.”

Realizing she was done talking sense and was now merely throwing a tantrum, I shook my head.

There was no meaningful conversation left to be had in her current emotional state.

“We agreed to take some time to think, didn’t we? I’ve thought it over.”

“…Vivian, I want to return to my hometown before your birthday. No, I will return.”

“On the day you come of age, stand tall without me. Move forward without me. If you truly care about me… that’s the path for my sake.”

Vivian, who had been shouting moments ago, was now silent like a burnt-out ember.

Her emotions seemed to have turned into ash, leaving nothing but blackened remnants.

I turned my back on her motionless figure.

My heart pounded painfully fast, my chest burning, and I couldn’t stay there any longer.

After walking for some time, I turned back.

Through the white mist of my breath, I saw Vivian still standing there, staring at me with empty eyes.

Her gaze was unstable and dangerous, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.