Chapter 97: If you want – 5

-Bang!

“Don’t lie!!”

“Robert Rondor killed my family?”

Vivian jumped from her seat and shouted.

“…Lies. Lies. Lies…!! Lies! Lies!!”

Her screams were drenched in despair.

Her breath grew shallow, and her fingertips turned cold.

It had to be Jade Alan’s doing.

It had to be.

Jade Alan had thrown her life into this abyss.

In Vivian’s heart, all the pain always stemmed from Jade Alan and the Alan family.

Because of them, she had to grow up alone, struggling under endless stares and hostility.

The resentment and bitterness she felt back then would sometimes burst forth as helplessness, other times transforming her into a stuttering wreck.

There were more days than she could count when she wanted to die.

Eventually, that helplessness and self-pity redirected itself as a fiery arrow of rage towards Kailo Alan…

He became the target of her anger.

She threw Kailo into the punishment unit, clad him in rags, and fed him things that barely qualified as food.

She endlessly cursed and resented him.

It was easier to lash out at Kailo, who was close by, than to express her anger at Jade Alan, who felt untouchable.

Seeing him happy irritated her.

She drove away every woman who approached him.

Even when he protected her, she maintained a cold demeanor.

When she felt gratitude, she rationalized it by recalling her grudge against him.

“Lady Vivian…! There is evidence…!”

“Shut up!!”

Vivian cut him off.

Her face had been flushed red with surging anger for a long time.

The deeper she thought about the complicated gratitude and inescapable affection she had felt for Kailo, the more this truth became an unbearable torment.

She couldn’t believe it.

She didn’t want to believe it.

“So, now I see you’re the real traitor. Did you think you could say something like this and get away alive?! You slippery snake, trying to slither out of this mess with your sly words. You’ll pay the price. Nestor, tomorrow I’ll cut out your tongue.”

If she accepted this truth, what would all her actions against Kailo mean?

What about all the days she tormented him, believing him to be the enemy of her family?

And what about Kailo, who had to endure it all?

What kind of fool would he be then?

She had thought it was revenge.

She had relentlessly tormented him, promising to show him a life harder than her own.

But in reality, he had endured a past far harsher than hers.

And even through all that, he had protected her.

…Would it all become meaningless cruelty?

She had tormented someone who had been more like a savior than anything else.

“Cut it out if you must…!”

Nestor stood firm.

“…!”

Vivian grit her teeth.

The cowardly, despicable Nestor she had always known was nowhere to be seen.

Even under the threat of losing his tongue, he did not retreat a single step as he continued:

“But! Please, hear the rest of the story. Without my tongue, no one else can tell you this. Lady Vivian, I tracked down the perpetrators. I found them and saved them. One is the person who handed poisonous herbs that aggravated the Duke’s illness instead of medicine. Another is one of the soldiers who rolled a boulder down the path Lord Lois was traveling. Both are under my careful protection, barely clinging to life… If you wish, they can testify at any moment.”

“No… No…”

Vivian collapsed into a chair, clutching her head.

Her heart was crumbling, but Nestor did not stop.

“…I understand your confusion. But more importantly, we must set things right.”

Years of suppressed fury poured out of Nestor like an unending geyser.

“Let’s go cut off Robert Rondor’s head. Now that Count Corrode is gone, he’s a toothless tiger. Let’s kill him. Our true enemy. Then… there will be no one left to threaten you, Lady Vivian. The long shadow Rondor has cast… let it finally be lifted by the true sun.”

Go kill the real enemy.

Not Jade Alan, but Robert Rondor.

The one who poisoned her father’s medicine.

The one who crushed her brother under a boulder, leaving her mother bedridden from the shock.

The one responsible for it all.

It was too hard to dismiss Nestor’s words as a lie.

There was too much evidence.

All the fragmented pieces began to fall into place, forming a picture that couldn’t be ignored.

From her mother’s dying words to the similarities between Jade Alan and Kailo’s personalities.

From the poison that had reached her to the fire that had engulfed the castle.

She couldn’t keep blaming Jade Alan for everything.

Someone had tried to swallow Rondor whole.

And that someone was Robert Rondor.

Vivian could feel it.

The man who sought to usurp power.

The man who pushed his son into the fold.

A vicious being driven by greed.

“…Hngh… ngh…”

Vivian let out guttural groans, her teeth clenched in barely restrained rage and revelation.

It seemed as though saliva might drip down her lips at any moment.

Nestor waited patiently while looking at Vivian.

But it seemed he already knew what decision Vivian would make.

Vivian’s grudge ran deep.

The hardships she had endured were things no person should ever have to experience.

At just 13 years old, her entire family had been torn away from her.

At an age when she should have been receiving love and care, all she received were hostility and death threats.

There were no memories worth cherishing, and not a single night without trembling.

At times, her thirst for revenge against the Alan family was the only thing keeping her going.

But they said the culprit was someone else.

And that culprit was within reach.

Nestor’s words didn’t register.

The Count Corrode was gone, and Loctana had wealth to spare.

If Vivian wanted to raise an army, she could easily do so.

Her followers’ loyalty to her only grew stronger, and aside from the First Knights, internal unity was solid.

She had witnesses who could testify, giving her more than enough justification.

The decision lay in Vivian’s hands.

If she struck, she could kill her enemy.

She could finally achieve her long-desired revenge.

***

“…Brother, let’s go back. The estate needs you now.”

I maintained a long silence.

“…Why won’t you answer?”

Avoiding her gaze, I replied.

“…That’s not our choice to make.”

“The Rondor family has gotten what they deserve…! If they’re human, they should let you go now too! It’s been five years!”

“When did taking hostages ever come with a time limit?”

“If they had any conscience… by now, they should—”

“Kayla, think about it. Could you do it?”

At my question, Kayla fell silent.

“Could you release the son of the enemy who killed our parents and tried to kill me, just because it’s been five years and their family is struggling? Hostages aren’t taken out of pity for the other side’s situation. They’re held as a warning until my affairs are stabilized.”

I was indirectly saying I couldn’t leave Vivian yet.

It was an excuse.

I wasn’t sure if the estate needed me, but… I couldn’t bring myself to leave Vivian’s side.

I knew there were still threats lurking, people aiming to kill her.

The unease lingered in my throat like a thorn.

We were almost there.

Almost at the end.

I didn’t want to leave now and let everything fall apart.

Just a little longer.

Just a little more patience, and it would be over.

“…You should try negotiating.”

Kayla clung to my arm, pleading as if to persuade me.

I gently pried her hand off and turned away.

“…I don’t know, Kayla.”

Kayla studied my face, as if searching for something in disbelief.

Then, with her quick insight, she seemed to realize something and said to me,

“…Brother, you don’t want to leave, do you?”

“Kayla.”

“You don’t want to leave, right…? Why… Why is that…? Is someone threatening you or something?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?! Why don’t you want to come back?! Our estate also—”

“I’m not saying I won’t return!”

I grabbed Kayla, who was spiraling into confusion, and shouted.

But even to my ears, my tone lacked conviction.

“It’s just…”

“…Just…”

“…Just what?”

***

“…Yes.”

Vivian whispered.

“…What?”

Nestor leaned in closer.

“If I say… I’m going to kill Robert.”

“…Then you must.”

“What happens to Kailo then?”

Despite all the rage and overwhelming fury… what filled her heart was an overwhelming fear.

Kailo Alan.

A hostage she believed she had claimed in exchange for her family’s lives.

A person she had kept with her for that justification alone.

Kailo’s voice echoed in her mind for a moment.

-I don’t know either. Maybe I feel some sense of responsibility or guilt for you being left alone. Or perhaps your mother’s or brother’s last wishes linger in my mind.

A person who stayed by her side, driven by guilt and sin.

Vivian clutched her chest.

If Kailo ever learned the truth, what would happen?

That he had no reason to feel guilt, and instead, he was an innocent victim ripped from his family, enduring undeserved punishment?

“He’d leave.”

Nestor said firmly.

Vivian’s heart froze.

“But… so what? That wouldn’t be a problem. The Alan family’s ties with us are severed. It’s a truth we didn’t know, but we’re already moving forward. The Eastern Kingdom and Delum are building peace. This is an opportunity to return Kailo Alan too—”

“No.”

The red-haired witch, who had been lying low, raised her head.

Her eyes burned like flames.

“…Absolutely… not.”

In those eyes, deep emotions were chaotically intertwined.

Leaving wasn’t an option, but facing the unknown emotions in Kailo’s eyes, now that he knew the truth, was terrifying.

The thought of Kailo looking at her with hatred.

The thought of Kailo trying to leave her.

No.

No.

Absolutely not.

Not him.

Anyone else, maybe, but not Kailo.

Nestor, who had been speechless, finally spoke up.

“L-Lord Robert Rondor must be executed, but to do so, the truth must be revealed—”

“I said no!”

Crash!

Overwhelmed by her emotions, Vivian swept everything off the desk.

The documents piled messily on the desk scattered in the air.

The candlestick toppled over, its flame extinguished as it hit the floor.

Darkness enveloped the room.

Robert Rondor.

How could I not want to kill him?

The vengeance I thought had subsided blazed anew like a wildfire.

Nestor would never understand how deeply my hatred for him surged in this fleeting moment.

Tears streamed down again, and my gums bled from clenching too hard.

Drip… drip.

But even as she wept, Vivian stared Nestor down.

No.

Still no.

Her need for Kailo, by her side, outweighed the resolution of this rage.

The fury she felt for Robert paled in comparison to the dread of Kailo willingly leaving her side.

In the darkness, she whispered,

“…Take this truth to your grave.”

“L-Lady Vivian…”

Nestor’s disbelief echoed in his voice.

For the first time, his proud shoulders slumped.

Even someone who had dreamed of this moment for a lifetime hadn’t expected such a response.

***

“Just… what, brother?”

I recalled all the humiliation and hardship Vivian had endured.

The vivid memories flooded my mind, making it easier to say these words to Kayla.

“…I just don’t want to see Vivian die.”

Disbelief filled Kayla’s eyes.

Yeah, I know.

She wouldn’t understand.

I don’t understand either.

This is a curse.

But breaking it wasn’t as simple as it seemed.

“Whether she dies or not… what does that matter, brother…?”

“…It’s hard to explain. Still… she was the reason I held on. I could survive because Vivian was there for me.”

“Brother…”

“…We’re almost there. Just take care of it. Father can’t handle it anymore… So, until Vivian finds stability. Just until then, hang in there.”

“By the time that happens… we’ll have endured enough. Vivian, too.”

***

Even faced with Nestor’s bewildered expression, Vivian didn’t waver.

The fear threatening to burst out only pushed her forward.

Kailo was going to leave me.

No.

“If even the slightest… the slightest bit of this truth… reaches Kailo’s ears…!”

I imagined the look on Kailo’s face upon hearing the news.

Ah.

Tears welled up again.

It had to be hidden.

I had to commit yet another sin against him.

What would you say if you faced the monster that I’ve become?

Vivian, trembling with fear, issued her warning.

“…Nestor, you’ll come to find death far more merciful.”