Chapter 94: If you want – 2

Kayla’s initial awkwardness was short-lived.

Crying uncontrollably in my arms, she looked just as I remembered, even though her body had grown.

As forgotten memories of the past returned with her, I couldn’t stop the laughter spilling from my lips.

“All grown up, but still the same.”

I patted Kayla’s back as she sobbed harder, her tears flowing even more freely.

It had been a long time since I comforted someone like this.

If there was one difference from the past, it was how light her body felt now.

It seemed I had grown stronger too; unlike when I was small, holding her up was effortless.

I gently rocked her back and forth, soothing her like a child, as I turned to glance behind me.

Vivian was standing there, watching us, her expression a mixture of confusion and surprise.

Well, if even I hadn’t expected this, I could only imagine how bewildered she must feel.

Kayla, after crying for some time, finally lifted her upper body while still clinging to me.

She cupped my face with both hands and said through hiccups,

“Sniff… Big brother, when did you get so tall? I was scared I might be taller than you!”

Kayla was definitely taller than most women I’d seen in Loctana.

Even Vivian, who wasn’t exactly short, seemed just a bit smaller than her.

“You’re still worrying about pointless things, huh?”

“And your body… why do you look so grown-up now? All these muscles—it’s like you’re a different person.”

“Well, I’m almost an adult. This is how it’s supposed to be. Don’t I look a bit like Father now?”

At that, Kayla burst into laughter through her tears, covering her mouth to stifle them.

“…You do, like how Dad looked when he was healthy.”

Her words made my chest tighten.

I knew it was true, but hearing it out loud didn’t make it easier.

It felt like an unspoken confirmation that the father I remembered was gone.

I struggled to keep the turmoil inside hidden.

Instead, I pulled Kayla back into my embrace, stroking her head gently as I asked,

“How long has it been since Father collapsed?”

It hadn’t been long since I’d learned about his condition—at Vivian’s 17th birthday ball, no less.

I’d heard bits and pieces, but I wanted to hear the full story from Kayla herself.

“…Right after Mother passed.”

Just as I’d heard before.

It had been a while since then.

“You kept it a secret for so long.”

Kayla nodded, sniffling.

“Father… sniff… Father said we should hide it from you for as long as possible… sniff…”

I closed my eyes tightly.

Father must have known he was still my foundation, my support.

My sister continued to cry, her tears revealing the burdens she’d silently carried.

Though she was closer to being an adult now, seeing her cry like this, unabashedly seeking comfort in my arms, tugged at my heart.

It was like seeing a child who had finally reunited with their parents after enduring too much on their own.

“…I’m sorry.”

I apologized to Kayla.

“Why are you apologizing, big brother…?”

Kayla shook her head, as if she understood my reason but didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Even though it wasn’t entirely my choice, I hadn’t been there to protect my siblings.

When Father collapsed, I should have stepped up to take his place.

Because I hadn’t, Kayla must have suffered greatly.

Our younger brothers were still too young to lead the family, leaving the burden to Kayla.

She likely endured a life similar to Vivian’s in many ways.

Thinking about it, Vivian’s circumstances had been even harsher—she had no allies, no siblings, and no parents to rely on.

…Yet she had managed to persevere through that as well.

—Tap, tap.

I finally patted Kayla on the back and said,

“Time to get down. You’re heavy. And you need to say hello.”

Kayla flinched slightly, her demeanor suddenly turning more ladylike.

“Oh…! Big brother, my… my bottom—I’m grown up now, you know!”

“…You cry like a child and then come up with something like that?”

“That’s different, okay…?”

Kayla, who had descended from my arms while hiding her rear and crawling timidly, rubbed her eyes and adjusted her expression.

As she took a deep breath, she belatedly noticed Vivian.

Her expression hardened and became sharp.

The little sister Kayla disappeared, and the eldest daughter of the Alan family emerged.

“I am Kayla Alan. I apologize for coming unannounced. I’ve come because I have an important favor to ask.”

Vivian’s eyes trembled slightly.

It wasn’t difficult for either of us to guess what Kayla’s request might be.

But this was not the place to discuss it.

Vivian maintained her manners as she addressed Kayla.

“…I am Vivian Rondor. Once again, I apologize for what happened with Kailo.”

“…Kailo?”

Kayla seemed puzzled by the casual way Vivian referred to him.

Vivian continued,

“Let’s go inside. Staying here isn’t appropriate. Have a meal, rest, and then we can talk.”

Kayla nodded.

Seeing her grown-up demeanor, so different from the girl who used to cling to me endlessly, felt strange.

With the decision made to enter the castle, a few arrangements were necessary.

I told Vestor.

“Send the carriage back. The Alan family crest won’t be welcomed in Loctana.”

Vestor hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Let those who need to return, return. Those who follow should wear helmets. Their hair color must be hidden. Discard the flag, and cover the family crest on their armor with cloth. Entering the castle discreetly will be easier for everyone.”

“Brother, what about me?”

Kayla asked me.

I handed her the helmet I had kept on my horse.

A red bear-headed helmet.

Kayla clenched her teeth.

Though I was long accustomed to it, I could understand how humiliating it must have felt for Kayla.

The Alan family revered the white bear, yet here she was, forced to wear a helmet shaped like a beast’s head, dyed blood-red.

Kayla held the helmet silently for a long time.

Her grip tightened until her hand turned white.

Vivian avoided her gaze without saying a word.

Eventually, Kayla suppressed her anger, forcing a smile as she looked at Vivian.

“…What a pretty helmet. It matches your hair color, Vivian.”

Not wanting to see the two argue, I snatched the helmet from Kayla’s hands and placed it on her head.

“Put it on. Don’t overthink it.”

“Ugh!”

The large helmet sat crookedly on Kayla’s small head.

Seeing her like that, I couldn’t help but laugh, and Kayla, too, seemed to feel slightly better.

I seated Kayla on my horse and climbed up behind her.

Vivian watched me move naturally, her gaze lingering.

Since Kayla’s arrival, the atmosphere between me and Vivian had felt oddly tense.

***

Vivian quietly ate her food, watching Kailo and Kayla.

The formal and awkward conversation had long since ended, and Kailo and Kayla were now in their own lively world, sharing animated stories.

Although seated together at the dining table, Vivian felt utterly alone.

“Brother, try this too. It’s delicious.”

“Take care of yourself. Who had a harder time getting here, you or me?”

“Still, still! Eat it. It’s so good I want you to have some.”

“I already ate, didn’t I?”

Kayla chattered away, piling food onto Kailo’s plate.

And Vivian could see right through Kayla’s intentions.

She wasn’t just trying to feed him out of kindness; she was playfully seeking her brother’s affection.

Surely, it was one of the many lessons Lady Linne had taught her.

It made sense.

They were family reunited after a long time, and naturally, they were overjoyed to see each other.

The ease with which they broke past the initial awkwardness and rekindled their bond was remarkable.

Moreover, strangely enough, their transformed appearances didn’t seem to bother them at all.

On the contrary, they seemed to…

“Here, say ‘Ah~.’”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Come on, just this once…!”

“…Are we at home right now? Vivian’s watching… Where did your manners go?”

“…You talk about manners, but you’re not exactly a model of etiquette yourself. The way you saunter around, your lack of table manners… You didn’t know that, did you?”

On the contrary, Kayla seemed overly eager to get close to Kailo.

If they were still children, it might have been excusable, but now they were both more adults than kids.

It was hard to see her behavior as the innocent affection of a child anymore.

She kept hugging Kailo’s arm, leaning close to him with a bashful smile, acting cute, offering him food…

If one didn’t know they were family, Kayla would look no different from another woman trying to flirt with Kailo.

Vivian pondered this as she popped a piece of meat into her mouth.

Could it be that Kayla was truly so unsophisticated?

Could her mind be so pure that she didn’t understand the implications of getting so close to Kailo?

…That couldn’t be it.

Kayla was a woman of the Alan family.

She knew exactly what she was doing, despite feeling a little embarrassed herself.

She was doing it all to be adored by Kailo as his sister.

To demand recognition of her maturity.

…Perhaps it was simply a fundamental human instinct.

Still, deep down, Vivian felt a sense of discomfort.

It was a small, easily ignorable discomfort, but it was there.

She didn’t like having Kailo’s attention stolen away by Kayla.

She regretted how this mealtime was slipping by without a proper conversation with him.

She understood her feelings, but they were still undeniable.

And disliking herself for being so petty, Vivian wiped her mouth and put down her utensils.

“…It would be rude to interrupt your time together any longer. I’ll excuse myself from the table.”

“Oh…!”

Kayla feigned surprise, but Vivian knew it was the response she had been waiting for.

Only Kailo genuinely inquired.

“Eat more. You’ve barely touched your food.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“How is two pieces of bread and three bites of meat enough?”

So, he’d been paying attention.

Just that fact alone gave her a small sense of satisfaction, and Vivian made up her mind.

“Enjoy your time together. I have work to attend to. Miss Kayla, please make yourself at home. For your sleeping arrangements…”

“Oh, I’ll sleep with my brother.”

“…Even so, as a grown woman… Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable? We have plenty of rooms available.”

“It’s easier to continue our conversation if we sleep in the same room.”

Without pressing further, Vivian simply nodded.

Then, gathering the maids, she turned and walked away.

Just before leaving the hall completely, Vivian glanced back.

Through the crack in the door, she could see Kailo and Kayla chatting and laughing together.

…Why do I keep feeling this way?

Seeing Kyle shower someone else with affection…

She couldn’t help but feel jealous, down to the very end.