Chapter 92: Reasons for Survival – 3

I slowly opened my eyes.

It was deep into the night.

The sound of insects could be heard, and an owl hooted from somewhere.

The sound of the river, which normally wouldn’t be heard, flowed through this deep silence.

How long had I been asleep?

I couldn’t tell, but it felt like I had woken up from a refreshing, deep sleep.

The blanket covered me up to my neck, and someone was nestled in my arms.

This was the first time I had experienced such a situation since I stepped onto this land.

But for some reason, the person in my arms felt so naturally familiar.

I didn’t need to look down to know who she was.

Her distinct floral scent asserted itself more surely than seeing her face.

I knew she was awake.

“What?”

“Shit.”

She seemed to know that I was awake too.

“……Caught.”

“…Now that I think about it.”

I murmured to her.

Vivian slowly nodded as though she had known I would wake up.

“…I think I survived because you were here.”

“You were my goal. Without you, I would have fallen apart… I tried because you were here.”

It was a thought that became clearer in my dream.

It was true that she was alive because of me, but I was also alive because of her.

I knew how powerless a being without a goal could become.

There were countless things to fear around me, and endless hostile gazes.

In those moments, I only focused on Vivian.

It was like climbing to a high place, where instead of looking down, I concentrated only on the ledge I needed to grab, despite all the enemies around me.

Vivian wriggled and burrowed deeper into my embrace.

Even without speaking, this closeness felt so natural.

I lowered my head to look at her.

“…How many days have I been asleep?”

“…20 days and half a day.”

A bitter laugh escaped.

“That’s a long sleep.”

Vivian muttered as if blaming herself.

“…Yeah.”

I looked at Vivian’s face carefully.

She must have been going through some mental strain recently.

She looked far more haggard than I remembered.

On top of that, there were clear tear marks in her eyes.

I smiled lightly and asked,

“You cried, didn’t you?”

Normally, I would have celebrated, claiming victory, but the fact that she had cried because of me felt warmer.

The thought that she worried about me made loneliness vanish.

She, who would never lose to me, had forced herself not to cry, and only after I collapsed did she cry.

That gave me an odd sense of satisfaction.

Vivian rubbed her eyes and shook her head.

She desperately tried to hide the tear marks from me, wiping them away.

“…I didn’t cry.”

“Didn’t cry, huh? The tear marks are pretty clear.”

Vivian boldly continued,

“Did you even see them?”

“The evidence is pretty clear.”

“So, did you see them?”

“…I didn’t see them.”

“…So, I didn’t cry.”

Vivian, after rubbing her face enough, looked up at me.

I lowered my head to meet her gaze.

Our foreheads were almost touching, and we were already sharing breath.

“And if I said I cried… would you leave me?”

Vivian asked.

She had asked me a similar question before.

It must have been at the ball.

She had asked me if I still missed my hometown.

Back then, she had subtly asked if I was going to leave.

But now, the expression on her face was different.

There was a strange confidence in her face, unlike before.

I couldn’t understand how she could read my mind so well.

In the end, I smiled and shook my head.

“…I won’t leave.”

…Not now.

Still, I can’t leave now.

If my feelings were going to change just because my body was hurt, I wouldn’t have eaten in the first place.

“…See.”

Vivian hugged me tighter and spoke.

“You’re mine, Kailo. You can’t go anywhere without my permission. Not even to hell.”

“At least call it heaven.”

She shook her head.

Her soft hair brushed against my body.

“You have to go to hell. I… I will go to hell.”

For a while, we lay in silence.

I realized something then, and that was that Vivian was only wearing underwear and nothing else.

At that moment of realization, I pulled back the blanket, and Vivian, startled, quickly covered herself.

Even the gesture of covering her body was sensual.

“Co-cover me with the blanket.”

I knew she did it to share warmth, but the fact that she did it on her own, embarrassed, shook me.

Her chest, more exposed than ever.

Her toned legs.

A straight abdomen.

Wide hips.

Even though Vivian was embarrassed, I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming over her body.

A desire to bite every part of her stirred within me.

The definition of femininity was right in front of me.

She looked like a sculpture.

“…Do you want to do it?”

I asked without thinking.

“What?”

“Let’s do it.”

They say sexual desire explodes when you’re about to die, don’t they?

I grabbed Vivian and pulled her under me, supporting myself with my arms and looking down at her.

“Are you crazy? How long has it been since you were hurt!”

“Are you saying we can if my body is fine?”

“That’s not it… I told you, I don’t want to do this with you…”

Vivian gritted her teeth, avoiding my gaze, and coldly spat out,

“…Don’t dirty me, Kailo.”

Her words chilled my mind as well.

I realized that this was where the line was drawn.

Some things were just not meant to happen.

Maybe because I had already decided to leave, it became easier to suppress my desires than before.

I suddenly realized what I had been about to do.

I clicked my tongue and lay back down on the bed.

Vivian, despite saying that, shamelessly crawled back into my arms.

If she didn’t want this, she shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

But because I felt so good having her in my arms, I accepted her without a word.

We lay there for a while again.

“…Don’t ever do something reckless like this again.”

“I didn’t want to do it. I was ambushed.”

“…What did they say that made you fall for that?”

“They said Kelsie was being raped, so I went to check on her.”

Vivian gritted her teeth.

“…Why would you sacrifice yourself for someone like Kelsie? Doesn’t she hate you?”

“Is that the same thing? I just wanted to keep my conscience clean.”

Vivian chuckled or smiled—somewhere in between—and said,

“People would be shocked to hear that. Someone as rebellious as you has a conscience?”

“Do you think so too?”

She shook her head.

“…No. I know you. You’re probably the only one with a conscience who’s so meddlesome.”

Vivian took a deep breath and muttered,

“And thank you, Kailo. Because of your meddling, I’ve survived so far.”

“Surviving near-death experiences isn’t bad. It’s nice to hear something like that from you.”

This time, Vivian definitely laughed.

She sank deeper into my arm, buried her face in my neck, and took a deep breath.

I felt the sensation of her delicate face against my neck.

I couldn’t hold back anymore and hugged her tightly.

Vivian, too, accepted me this time.

“…Kailo. Please stay with me just a little longer.”

Maybe because it was night, we became more emotional, and we said things we wouldn’t normally say.

She whispered softly,

“…You have almost recovered. The tide has turned. If I bring down the Corrode family, the speed will pick up.”

“I heard there’s someone helping Count Corrode.”

“…If we catch that person too, it’ll be over.”

Vivian kissed my neck a few times, softly, and then continued.

“When the organization is complete, no one will be able to target me again. I’ll restore the status of the old Rondor family. No, maybe I’ll rise to an even higher position. I’ll be the one who rebuilt the fallen Rondor family and Loctana, ‘Vivian Rondor.’ What do you think? Just hearing it, people will follow me, right?”

“That’s true.”

“…And when that time comes.”

A shallow smile bloomed on Vivian’s face like a bright flower.

It was still the kind of smile that took my breath away.

Vivian carefully chose her next words.

“When that time comes, let’s go do something fun together. Hunting monsters was fun before, though it was dangerous. Chased by dragons… watching the stars every night… right?”

Vivian spoke of a plan that she might have been thinking about for some time.

The end of the deep hardships was just beginning to appear on the distant horizon.

The end of the long darkness we had been through together.

Beyond that, Vivian seemed to be envisioning happiness.

No longer would we need to worry about dying, nor would we have to submit in humiliation anymore.

“Even if it’s not that, let’s go out to the plains, get some fresh air, eat freshly baked bread, maybe even drink some wine together. How about it? Doesn’t it sound fun?”

She looked as happy as I had ever seen her.

Even in this darkness, her red eyes seemed to sparkle with anticipation.

“…”

I hesitated for a while, choosing my words carefully.

But in the end, I decided not to shatter her happy dream and said,

“…Yeah. Let’s do that.”

However, the words I truly wanted to say were different.

The unspoken words, I silently sent to her.

…But Vivian.

When that time comes, when we break through the deep darkness and achieve peace.

I embraced Vivian even more deeply.

…I probably won’t be there.