Chapter 14: Rondor’s Executioner – 2

“Hic…sob…sob…”

Vivian tried to hold her breath to suppress her tears, but the flowing tears couldn’t be stopped.

She hated the constant disregard in her daily life.

The hostile attitudes of the adults were terrifying.

No one was there to help her.

Indeed, everything was too much for her to handle.

“Hic…sob…sob…”

Covering her mouth tightly, she wept.

If others saw her like this, they wouldn’t pity her but rather sigh in disappointment, thinking she was pathetic.

That’s why she was crying in hiding.

It was a sight she couldn’t show even to the guards.

The garden she was crying in was in Rondor’s courtyard.

She wanted to leave the military.

She was desperate to survive in a world of magical engineering.

She squeezed into the depths of the garden where no one was around and cried.

But then, a sound came from behind her.

Startled, she quickly turned around, only to find the person she least wanted to see standing there.

Kailo Alan.

The eldest son of the Alan family, the cause of all her suffering for the past few months.

How much more did he intend to make her miserable?

Not wanting to show her face, Vivian turned her head again, trying her best to hold back the hiccuping breaths.

She crouched down, facing away from Kailo, and continued to cry.

“Did…sob…did you see?”

Vivian asked without even realizing it.

She was afraid that even the shameful scene from earlier had been caught.

“Are you talking about being ignored by the knights?”

But Kailo, as if unfazed, asked back.

It felt like there was mockery in his voice, or maybe it was just her imagination.

Vivian’s fists clenched naturally.

If there was a hole, she wanted to hide in it.

Why did Kailo Alan always catch her in these vulnerable moments?

Why did her weakest moments always seem to be exposed to the very person she wanted to hide them from the most?

Crying, being beaten by Lady Linne that night, even what was happening now—things her loyal vassals were unaware of were paradoxically laid bare before her enemy.

There was nothing more shameful than that.

“…Just…sob…just go.”

Vivian finally spoke to Kailo.

She couldn’t say anything else.

She just wished Kailo Alan wasn’t there.

Kailo Alan, who had once told her that he didn’t want to see her cry, had no reason to stay and witness something he hated.

When no response came, she thought he had left, so she turned her head slightly to check.

Kailo Alanwas still standing in the same spot.

Then, belatedly, he answered.

“…I don’t want to.”

-Whack!

Vivian, enraged by his words, picked up a pebble from the ground and threw it at Kailo.

-Thud!

Kailo didn’t budge.

Despite her fury, Vivian collapsed first, overcome by her own emotions.

Once again, even in front of him, she was crying.

And now, there was no reason to suppress her sobs.

The person she least wanted to show her tears to had seen her crying.

Who else was there left to hide from?

So, she just let go and sobbed loudly.

Strangely enough, Kailo Alan said nothing.

She thought he would mock or ridicule her, but he just stood there, listening.

When Vivian had cried all her tears, Kailo Alan finally moved.

He walked toward her, crouched in front of her.

The scent of musty dust and a faint smell of blood.

That was Kailo Alan’s scent.

Their eyes met.

His deep, unreadable black eyes were right in front of her.

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

It was complicated.

She wanted to run away from getting entangled with Kailo Alan like this, but running away felt like losing again.

So, she couldn’t move, unable to escape from him.

“Why are you being ignored?”

Kailo asked.

“What?”

“I asked why you’re being ignored by the knights.”

Vivian, filled with frustration at his indifferent prodding at her wounds, snapped back.

“…Why should I tell you?”

Kailo clicked his tongue and scratched his head, as if something was bothering him but he couldn’t express it in words.

But even Vivian, who responded curtly, felt the same frustration.

A part of her wanted to confide in someone, to vent the knot in her heart.

Though the situation between them was awkward, after observing each other for the past few months, their presence around each other had become somewhat natural.

“In our family, if a knight ignores the head of the family like that, it’s a death sentence, you know?”

“…But seeing you just pathetically put up with it is honestly baffling.”

At Kailo’s stern words, Vivian hung her head.

She knew it too—that she was a pathetic head of the family.

That she was being treated absurdly.

But there was nothing she could do about the situation.

Kailo Alan, unaware of the circumstances, continued.

“So tell me. Let me at least understand. What was that all about earlier?”

“If you get ignored like that, wouldn’t that lower the evaluation of our family, too, since we’ve constantly been in conflict with yours?”

Vivian, still crouched down, brushed her fingers through the pebbles between them.

She wanted to speak.

Because she hadn’t been able to tell anyone.

She wanted to breathe.

To escape from this pressure.

So, she couldn’t help but murmur.

“Do you really not know, or are you just pretending?”

If there had been even one person by her side to listen to her, she wouldn’t have said a word of this to Kailo Alan.

But she had no one.

“You saw everything, you felt everything, you know everything. Why are you pretending not to and making me feel even more miserable?”

“I really don’t know.”

When you look at someone’s face up close, you can sense some sincerity.

There didn’t seem to be any falsehood in Kailo’s demeanor.

At his serious expression, Vivian bit her lip and spilled her heart.

“Because of you…everyone died, and I’m the only one left. Isn’t it obvious?”

“Why is that obvious?”

“Because I don’t have the dignity my father, my brother, or my mother had…”

“But you’re still the head of the family.”

As Vivian slowly began to speak, she continued as if releasing her emotions.

“I always stutter, and I cry… How could I possibly look like a head of the family? Honestly, if it was me…”

“You’re not stuttering now, though.”

Vivian, lost in thought at Kailo’s words, suddenly snapped her head up in realization.

“…Huh?”

Trying to find an answer, Vivian scrunched her face and shouted.

“That’s because I get so mad whenever I’m around you…!”

“Now you’re stuttering.”

“Oh, really…!”

Vivian, raising her hand, felt like slapping him.

But seeing Kailo not even flinch, she lost the will to do it.

It seemed like it would only hurt her own hand if she did.

Kailo Alan had a tendency to accept everything stoically, like a stone.

As Vivian sighed deeply, Kailo continued.

“But do they really disregard you just because of that? No dignity, no leadership? Where’s their loyalty? Are all the southern knights like that?”

“What?”

“Not all of them, but there’s been trouble recently with Sir Baelor.”

“What kind of trouble? Actually, just tell me everything at once. I thought you only stuttered, but you can’t even hold a proper conversation. You’re really acting like an idiot.”

Seeing Kailo’s frustration, Vivian shouted back.

“There was a problem with the execution! We haven’t been able to carry it out recently…”

“Why couldn’t you carry out the execution? Just kill the convict.”

“…To execute someone, I have to stamp my seal.”

“Then stamp it.”

Vivian glared sharply at Kailo Alan.

Oddly enough, Kailo cleared his throat and looked away first.

Vivian steeled her heart.

Kailo Alan could only say her life was easy because he didn’t understand.

“If I stamp it… then I’ll be the one killing them in the end.”

“I still can’t…”

She fidgeted with her fingers again, her arms trembling as if she were cold.

Vivian could never forget the feeling when she picked up the stamp.

It was hard to believe that a person’s life could be so easily reduced to such a small weight.

The thought that a person’s life could end with her decision terrified her.

No matter what anyone said, if she stamped the seal, she would be the one killing them.

It was too much for her to bear.

She had wished for days, not just once or twice, that others would handle it all for her.

But when it came to executions, the lord’s seal was essential, and Vivian wasn’t free from that responsibility.

Fearing that Kailo would mock her for her weakness, she quickly changed the subject.

“And there’s no executioner right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s no one to behead the convicts. I have to appoint someone new.”

“Then appoint someone.”

“Who would want to be an executioner? Just being appointed is a huge disgrace…”

“In our family, my father always handled it.”

Hearing that, Vivian couldn’t help but think how barbaric it seemed.

Was it typical of northerners?

Executioners were associated with blood and cruelty, so everyone avoided the role.

Since they dealt with death, they were often regarded as unclean.

Thus, they were often completely swept away.

Since it’s an inherited profession, there are executioner families, but… The family that used to serve as Rondor’s executioners was destroyed by war.

In this situation, it’s difficult to choose a new executioner.

It’s like ordering a family to become executioners for generations.

“Now that I think about it, isn’t this all because of your family…? You killed all our executioners…”

“Complaining won’t bring them back.”

“And if being an executioner is such an insult, make Baelor do it. It’ll be sweet revenge for being ignored.”

“Oh, are you telling me to make an enemy out of Sir Baelor?”

It was hard to imagine what kind of chaos would arise if they made the commander of the 1st Knight Order into an executioner.

Vivian was dumbfounded by the words of Kailo Alan, which seemed devoid of any thought.

She sneered at him.

“Hah, it would have been something to see if you had stayed with the Alan family to engage in politics. Do you ever consider how your vassals feel?”

Kailo Alan gave a smirk and scoffed.

“That’s why you keep getting ignored. If you don’t press them down with strength, no one will dare speak up.”

Vivian couldn’t retort to his sharp remark.

Although she spoke confidently, in truth, she didn’t know the answer either.

Was she supposed to harshly correct the knights’ behaviour, or just endure it like she had been, avoiding conflict?

Maybe Kailo Alan was right, she thought, confused to the point where she was starting to consider it.

She didn’t like admitting it, but fear had been holding her back as well.

But she didn’t want to reveal this to Kailo Alan, of all people.

“…Your words are just flashy.”

So, instead, she snapped back in frustration.

“It’s easy to stamp the seal in words. It’s easy to say you’ll punish Sir Baelor. Anyone can spout such reckless talk.

But if you were in my position, you’d struggle with it too.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Vivian, encouraged by Kailo Alan’s easy acknowledgment, shouted.

“And yet—”

“But in the end, I’d get it done. Unlike you, crying about how hard it is.”

Once again, Vivian was at a loss for words.

…Strangely enough, she had a feeling that he would do exactly as he said.

Kailo Alan gave off an impression that he’d follow through when it came to his responsibilities.

It was something she had realized after watching him over the past few months.

But as if he took her silence as disagreement, Kailo Alan asked.

“Don’t believe me?”

Seeing Kailo Alan’s provocative look, Vivian’s competitive spirit flared up again.

Childishly, she retorted.

“No. I bet you wouldn’t have done anything.”

Kailo Alan calmly replied.

“Want me to prove it?”

Vivian scoffed at his words.

“Prove what? What could you possibly do? You’re going to stamp the seal for me? Don’t talk nonsense. Do you think you can even touch Rondor’s seal?”

“Who said anything about the seal?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll be the executioner. That way, we can kill them together.”

“…Together…?”

“I can kill. If it’s something that needs to be done, I’ll do it. Eventually, when I return to the north and become the head of the family, it’s something I’ll have to do anyway.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not going back to the north. You’re going to rot here for the rest of your life.”

Vivian firmly cut off his absurd statement.

Kailo Alan, for the first time, lowered his once confident stance and mumbled.

“…Well, anyway.”

He returned to the main topic.

“I can show you.”

“Once you stamp the seal.”

…In the end, it was clear that she still had to stamp the seal herself.

Vivian knew that, after all.

It was an unavoidable task.

She looked down at the floor, clenching her fists.

“…Have you ever killed anyone?”

“No. It’ll be my first time too.”

“Th-then aren’t you scared…?”

Without realizing it, Vivian asked honestly.

This awkward, abnormal situation kept dragging on.

Whenever she talked to Kailo Alan, she kept exposing her vulnerable side.

Suddenly, Vivian snapped back to her senses.

Who was she even talking to?

If it was Kailo Alan, he’d definitely mock her again—

“I’m scared.”

Kailo Alan answered.

Surprised by his response, Vivian looked up at him, only to see that his usually cold expression was slightly distorted.

It was an expression she hadn’t expected from someone who always seemed so unflappable.

“But even if I’m scared, I have to do it.”

“So that the adults don’t look down on me.”

Everything Kailo Alan said was irritating to listen to.

Given his background, it probably felt even more aggravating.

“…Hah.”

Still, despite her feelings, Vivian felt the weight on her shoulders lighten a bit.

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she and Kailo Alan had a lot in common.

Their age, their situations…

Perhaps that’s why she found some reassurance in watching him endure.

It made her feel like she could do it too, that she had to do it.

That must have been why the burden on her shoulders felt lighter.

For the first time, she felt like she could stamp the seal, even just a little.

It felt as if she and Kailo Alan were sharing the responsibility.

No, it was ridiculous, but it felt like Kailo Alan had taken on half of her burden.

-Swipe.

Vivian felt a chill on her arm.

When she came to her senses, Kailo Alan’s hand had let go of her.

She hadn’t even realized when he had been holding her arm.

All she understood was that the trembling in her arm had stopped.

Oddly enough, the departure of that unpleasant warmth left her feeling empty.

“…Don’t touch me.”

It was only after his hand had left that she belatedly issued her warning.

Kailo Alan merely shrugged.

But there was one thing she couldn’t understand out of everything that had happened.

She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should ask, and finally said.

“But… if you’re scared… why step up and do all this?”

Kailo Alan stood up, brushing off his legs as he replied.

“I told you, didn’t I? To prove that you’re weak. If we share the burden, you won’t have any excuses later.”

With that, Kailo Alan turned and left.

Vivian watched his retreating figure, then rubbed her arm.