episode_0043

I was currently in a predicament.

I woke up in the dead of night to find a woman with pale hair, and my instincts immediately kicked in, making me counterattack. However, the ghost turned out to be Daphne!

For some reason, she was hanging from the second floor of the bunk bed, and when I pushed her, she fell backward.

Once I grasped the whole situation, I sat like a sinner, getting scolded by an upset Daphne.

“What do you mean, you just suddenly pushed me!”

“I’m sorry! I thought you were a ghost and attacked!”

“A ghost? Me?”

Fortunately, Daphne was also an Awakener. Falling from the height of a bunk bed didn’t break or injure anything.

However, it seemed her feelings were greatly hurt. It was the first time I’d seen my roommate, who usually laughed generously even when I stole her snacks, get so sulky.

“I was just checking on you because you looked like you were in pain, but you just attacked me out of nowhere? That’s too much.”

“But, if you just stick your head out in the middle of the night, you really look like a ghost. Especially with your silver hair.”

My clumsy excuse backfired. Daphne tried to say something, then closed her mouth, bowing her head with a gloomy expression.

“I guess I was also at fault. I’m sorry for scaring you. I was just trying to help…”

She seemed wronged and lost for words. A hint of sorrow welled up in her beautiful, glowing blue eyes.

-What should I do? She seems disappointed!-

-It’s our fault. Let’s apologize.-

“I was wrong. I’m sorry. I won’t push you next time!”

I diligently apologized to Daphne for five minutes and succeeded in getting her forgiveness.

“I’ll apologize again. From now on, if I see something that looks like Daphne, I’ll talk to it first!”

“No, it’s alright. Thinking about it, it was quite shocking. If a stranger touched my head at night, wouldn’t I also be terrified?”

She chuckled slightly, as if embarrassed.

I should be more careful next time. If I had gone any further, I might have drawn a weapon.

By the way, there was one thing I was curious about.

“But Daphne, why were you on the bed?”

At my question, she calmly began to explain.

“Actually…”

She began to explain to me. Apparently, I often tossed and turned and groaned in bed every night. It happened occasionally during the first week, but the frequency increased after the second week.

“At first, I just thought it was sleep talking.”

She held out her palm. Bright, light green mana glowed as it spread.

“One day, Ms. Ruzilin looked so distressed lying in bed. So, I used my unique ability. I was going to tell you about your condition directly later, but this is how it turned out.”

“Every night? Was it that bad?”

“You wouldn’t have known, being asleep. Do you recall anything? Just a moment ago, Ms. Ruzilin was crying out in pain.”

I listened to her explanation. One of her unique abilities, healing, could also provide psychological stability. She said that if she controlled it well with intuition, it would emit specific wavelengths that stabilize the brain, reducing pain and making one feel comfortable.

But this was news to me. Was I really that noisy at night?

-Do you guys remember anything?-

-No idea. How could we feel anything while asleep?-

Talking with my other selves only yielded doubtful responses. Let’s think about what happened earlier. What happened before I slept, and while I was asleep?

“I remember. I had a bad dream.”

The situation became clear. I had been having seizures while asleep, and Daphne had used her unique ability to calm me down.

Oh, judging by the way she spoke, it didn’t seem like it had just been for a day or two.

“Wait, you’ve been checking on me and healing me every day? You didn’t lose sleep because of me, did you?”

“Don’t worry about that. The time Ms. Ruzilin’s condition worsens happens to overlap with my wake-up time. It wasn’t too much trouble.”

She shrugged. Looking at her smile as if it was nothing, I felt ashamed of myself. To push such a kind person off the bed, thinking she was a ghost. Was I selfish?

“Thank you for forgiving me for pushing you earlier. Daphne, you really are a kind person!”

“Kind… person?”

I saw her flinch slightly at the last part of my sentence.

“I’m not that kind of person…”

“What are you talking about? You stayed up for me for no reason.”

“Well, it’s just hard for me to do nothing when there’s someone struggling or in pain nearby.”

Her sudden self-deprecating remark left me at a loss for words, sitting awkwardly.

Daphne, perhaps sensing my mood, changed the subject.

“I guess I said something strange. I was just thinking about the past for a moment… Anyway, can I ask a sensitive question?”

“As long as it’s nothing too strange, I’ll try my best to answer.”

“Okay, then, Ms. Ruzilin. Have you ever experienced anything bad in the past?”

“Something bad? What do you mean?”

She started explaining to me with a serious expression. I was dizzy and bewildered by the sudden deluge of psychological and medical jargon.

Her approximate explanation could be summarized like this:

“I’m not a professional doctor. But I’ve seen similar cases firsthand. The symptoms Ms. Ruzilin is experiencing now are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder.”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder? That’s what veterans go through.”

She shook her head at my question.

“Post-traumatic stress disorder is a psychological issue anyone can experience. Anyone who has gone through something bad in the past can experience it.”

“Something bad in the past? I don’t have anything like that. Let me think.”

I fell deep into thought, organizing my memories as if sifting through an old elementary school diary.

If I had experienced anything in the past, it was my time in the research lab. I remember being tormented by a nasty ponytail and getting electric shocks from that slicked-back haired guy. More recently, I’ve had experiences like my head exploding or my limbs being severed while hunting in dungeons.

But were those truly difficult experiences?

Now, they’ve faded to a ‘that’s how it was back then’ level, and I don’t feel particularly bad about them. Moreover, I personally beat the culprits to death.

So what could be the problem? Perhaps something even older…

As I tried to think, my head suddenly began to ache.

I can’t remember. It feels like someone deliberately cut out a part of my memory.

Bright light, a mask, I was lying down, unable to move. They came closer…

My head.

My head hurts.

“Ugh… argh!”

“Are you alright?”

I clutched my head and shook it back and forth. The world spun. As I stood up, my body swayed. My breathing suddenly grew shallow, and cold sweat broke out on its own.

Daphne caught me as I was about to fall and pulled me into her embrace. Nestled in her soft, ample arms, my breathing calmed.

Again, the healing wave enveloped my head. As her gentle hand stroked my hair, I was finally able to gasp for breath.

“Haaah… haaah…”

“I’m sorry, this is my fault for bringing it up.”

“It’s not your fault, Daphne…”

Again, the healing wave enveloped my head. As her gentle hand stroked my hair, I was finally able to steady my breathing.

“Just a little longer…”

Daphne patted my back silently. I didn’t want to think. I just closed my eyes for a moment, held in her embrace.

Once my mind calmed, I was finally able to sit back down, supported by her.

“Perhaps you should go to the hospital?”

“Hospital? No!”

At the word ‘hospital,’ my body reacted violently on its own. For some reason, that word felt uncomfortable.

“Alright. If you don’t want to, there’s nothing I can do. But if it gets serious, you must get counseling. Understood?”

She continued to emphasize the seriousness of the issue with a grave expression. Should I really set a day to get psychiatric counseling? It looked like I’d be going somewhere I’d never been even before my transmigration.

My head began to throb again.

“Could you use the healing wave again? My head hurts again…”

“Alright. Please lie down here for a moment then.”

I lay down, using Daphne’s lap as a pillow. Once again, her soft hand covered my forehead, and a warm wave enveloped my head. It was as refreshing as a spring breeze and as warm as sunlight.

Suddenly, I opened my eyes to find large, soft curves obstructing my view.

I’d always noticed it, but Daphne’s chest was larger than mine. I didn’t know how such a thin and slender body could coexist with such ample curves.

As the pain and anxiety subsided, an amusing thought suddenly came to mind.

With a body like that, it might be even warmer and softer than just hugging myself to sleep. What would it feel like to hug Daphne tightly and sleep? Wouldn’t it be incredibly comfortable?

Suddenly, perhaps sensing my strange thoughts, Daphne’s gaze turned towards me.

“You seem to have had an interesting thought. May I hear it too?”

“Ah? It’s nothing!”

“You weren’t thinking anything weird, were you?”

“Hehehe…”

I shouldn’t say anything. Let’s stop with the weird thoughts.

***

As the central district just began to glisten with the early morning sunlight, Violet went to find Kalia.

“It’s Violet. What number are you… Ah, I don’t know. There are so many of you, after all. Has that flooded car issue from last time still not been resolved?”

“No. I came to check something else.”

“Ask quickly. I’m busy.”

Violet asked if anything unusual had happened to her while she was staying at the brotherhood’s residence briefly before going to school.

“Anything unusual? No, nothing like that… Oh. There was one thing.”

“What is it?”

“I didn’t mention it because I thought it might be embarrassing, but for the first few days after you escaped from the lab, there were often sounds of crying from your bedroom at night. Strangely, it decreased after a few weeks. Everyone was worried then. But why are you suddenly asking about this?”

“Uh-huh, it’s nothing. Anyway, thanks for telling me!”

I vaguely glossed over it. Kalia looked me over, then casually dropped a remark.

“Hey, Violet. Are you alright these days?”

“I’m fine, why?”

She bent down and looked me straight in the face. Her calm, emerald eyes gazed at me.

“Are you really alright? It’s good that you’re living busily these days, with all the deliveries and searches, but your complexion looks really bad.”

“It’s just because I’m tired. A good rest will fix everything!”

“No, it’s not that kind of feeling, and the others too… Ah, never mind. If you say you’re fine, there’s nothing I can do.”

Kalia, who had turned away, turned her head back and spoke with a worried tone.

“Later, if you’re struggling or having a hard time, make sure to come find me. Don’t make me come find you. Understood?”

“Understood!”

Violet walked briskly and disappeared between the alleys.

***

In the afternoon, during the brief free time we were given, we discussed our condition.

-Kalia is right. Except for the first few days, I haven’t had nightmares. It seems to have been increasing lately.-

-Second week? What happened then?-

-That was when we really started increasing the number of clones and became active.-

Could the increasing number of clones be related to the frequency of nightmares? The idea that our bad memories might be amplified by the number of clones was raised, but there was nothing definitive.

However, there was one factor that we all understood. We realized that we didn’t know.

We had forgotten something important. Every time I tried to recall something, bracing myself for headaches and dizziness, there was always an empty feeling.

-It feels like I’ve forgotten something.-

-Right. There was something very important. It feels like I’ve lost it. Like forgetting a door password.-

What could it be? It felt like someone had cut out a part of my mind, leaving a void.

-Well, I’m sure I’ll remember it someday!-

I didn’t think much of it and headed to the meeting spot. As I sat on a bench in a quiet area, Irene appeared shortly after.

“You’re early. I heard you won the duel.”

“Yeah, it was nothing. But what did you want to talk about?”

Today, Irene seemed even more confident than usual.

“I’m going to challenge the freshman management council members soon too. My preparations finished faster than I expected.”

As expected, it seemed Irene would step up. Perhaps this ridiculous control could end quickly.