Interlude – World Tree

Each time the girl took a delicate step, a pure white wave rippled out. One step, another step. A pristine circle was etched onto the pond, where only darkness had been reflected. She seemed delighted by it all, her expression buoyant. Yet, she approached me cautiously. As if she had discovered a beautiful flower on a cliff, knowing full well she could only look at it with longing.

And so, the final step.

The girl stopped just five steps away. Then, she looked up at me. Her gaze felt like a silent vow to etch me into her memory.

And as much as she looked at me, I looked at her. Could she be 120cm tall? The child, so much smaller than me, resembled my face greatly. The face of the wizard Yujin, which hadn’t changed once since I fell into this world. I had never experienced childhood in this body, but if I had been born and raised in this world, I felt like I would have grown up looking like that.

My heart raced like crazy. All sorts of emotions flooded in like a tidal wave. Not my emotions, but the girl’s. I reflexively stepped back from the overwhelming surge of poignant feelings. A body gone haywire. Ignoring my heart, which felt like it was about to explode, I tried to create distance. But. When I opened my tightly shut eyes at the end of my escape. I had somehow returned to my original spot.

To such me.

She was simply waiting with a smile.

Seeing that bright smile. My body, which had been trembling to the point of pain, began to calm down. When my heart, which had been as hot as lava, cooled down, I stopped retreating and clenched my fist tightly. To properly. Face forward.

Only then.

She smiled even more brightly and opened her mouth.

“Haa…”

The first words the girl in front of me uttered were a deep, profound sigh. It wasn’t a word conveyed through sound. It was a word conveyed through the mind-a word where the emotions and will of the deliverer were felt together. The girl then erased her smile, wearing a somewhat sad expression.

“Too. It was too fast.”

That expression, soaked in regret, was an expression that shouldn’t have been on such a young girl. No. It was an expression she shouldn’t be making. I was so curious about it. So anxious, wondering if it was my fault. I forced my trembling throat to squeeze out a single word. I could only manage a single word.

“What.”

What. What was too fast.

She closed her eyes and spun around once. The hem of her dress spread out like an umbrella, scattering droplets of water. When exactly five droplets fell and touched the surface of the water. The girl opened her mouth.

“Everything.”

One droplet rose. Reflected there was my face, rejoicing in the child’s safety. It was when I met Shemel after receiving the rapid growth potion.

“Birth is a blessing. Accompanied by joy, but.”

The second droplet rose. I saw myself smiling with my arms and legs cut off. It was before leaving for the Holy Empire. When Shuriel, corrupted by Mana, couldn’t resist and pounced on me.

“The process is nothing but pain.”

The third droplet. I faintly saw myself in the underground arena, being brutally violated by the Ayns. I bit my lip in shame. She had been watching everything. I had vaguely guessed, but that made me even more afraid to meet her.

“But. Who knew that it was happiness disguised as pain.”

The fourth droplet.

This time, a little further into the past. The droplet reflected me from the days when I was holding a knife and cutting my arms in the inn. The days when I was still very unstable. Back then, when I couldn’t even grasp the purpose of life and was attempting suicide every day.

“I’m sorry. I read your memories without Mom’s permission. The images reflected in the droplets now are the most memories I can read. But I kind of regret it. I shouldn’t have read your memories. I found out too. I found out too quickly.”

The fifth droplet wasn’t reflecting me, but the girl. A dark abyss. The girl, frantically deploying barriers in the endless pond. Yet, the girl who never stopped looking up at the sky.

“I wish I hadn’t known anything at all. If I hadn’t understood why you were doing such things, I could have at least cursed you out. Unfortunately, I understood it all.”

I couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth. Because I knew down to my bones that I didn’t even deserve to shout that I was sorry. Knowing that it was a body that couldn’t survive otherwise. Under the pretense that it was okay. Knowing that even if it wasn’t okay, I would eventually commit those acts.

I hated seeing her standing there, fidgeting and blaming herself. Every time the girl forced a smile. Her emotions froze and shattered as much as her face turned pale and bloodless. My child, who had become mature too quickly. Don’t grieve for me. That’s what I was going to say. However. The girl’s words were faster.

“That’s right. It’s not my fault. It’s all Mom’s fault. Dad’s fault is… um. None. Innocent. Innocent!”

“…”

“There were so many things I wanted to say to Mom and Dad. But. Still. Still.”

“…”

“When I actually met you, I only wanted to say good things. So.”

For the first time.

I felt the hesitation of a young child.

“Just once.”

Just once.

What the girl wanted was.

“Can you hug me?”

The hands reaching out to me were so delicate and beautiful that I could even feel consideration. A passive gesture that even considered rejection, for my immature self who hadn’t even prepared my heart. The tenderness felt at the fingertips was definitely for me.

I quietly. Silently hugged her. I hugged her tightly, not wanting to miss a single strand of her hair. The wrinkled hem of her dress too. The stray hairs peeking out between her fingers too. I pushed the girl’s face into my pounding chest, trying to contain everything within me.

It might be a little suffocating.

The girl giggled and reached her hands around my back.

“Mom’s embrace is nice and warm. It’s too cold here. It’s not cold, but having a self from inside the womb is a little tough. Besides, time flows several times faster here, so even if it’s just one minute, it feels like several hours have passed. In terms of perceived time… I think I’ve been here for about twenty years. Well, I recently figured out how to control the speed inside the womb, so it’s okay. Right now, the World Tree Ajumma is helping me, so I’m having fun!”

“…I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? I’m fine.”

“…Don’t you resent me?”

“Do you think I would have held a grudge for that long? Don’t worry. I hadn’t even realized the emotion of boredom back then. In the first place, Mom and I are half-spirit bodies. It was something that was bound to happen someday. And thanks to Mom, I got to use magic and meet the World Tree Ajumma. It’s a good thing, I guess.”

World Tree. She was a woman. Or perhaps she only appeared to be female on the outside. I thought it wouldn’t be good to keep looking gloomy in front of the child, so I smiled brightly and said.

“You met the World Tree?”

“Yes! To be exact, she started talking to me as soon as I entered Kardrasil. She said I was a fascinating child.”

“She didn’t do anything weird to you, did she?”

“Not at all. I actually learned a lot. It was hard to understand because she twisted her words in a strange way… but I understood the gist. I was born for Mom’s sake.”

Meddling with someone else’s child… I was a little displeased, but I couldn’t show it, so I nodded with a smiling face.

“She said that if I wanted to meet Mom, I needed to turn off my consciousness first. Um. Mom’s mind doesn’t turn off unless she suffers damage close to death, so it couldn’t be helped. I’m sorry.”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

When I said it was okay, the child giggled again. An innocent laugh. Just listening to it made me smile. The child rubbed her head against my chest and asked me.

“But Mom likes being hurt, right? Right?”

How am I supposed to answer this?

I was at a loss, so I vaguely mumbled an answer.

“…You could say that’s right.”

“But I can’t do it again. I’m sorry for not meeting your expectations. I want to be like Dad too-“

Oh my god.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so terrified. I was afraid to hear it, so I even raised my voice to cut off the rest of her words.

“N, no! There’s no need for that! Really!”

“Really?”

“Really. Really. You can rest assured that it won’t happen again in the future.”

The atmosphere relaxed. When I smiled, the child smiled too. The pond we were standing in was now reflecting lush greenery. It was Kardrasil. It seemed the child had been looking at the outside like this, unable to go out.

“Okay. I’ll listen to Mom. But Mom.”

“Yeah?”

The child giggled and grabbed the hem of my dress with an expectant expression. Fingers filled with longing. I was curious about what the child was going to say, but I was also scared. If she said something strange like before, my mental state wouldn’t be able to handle it. But. The question the child asked was a little more complicated. A question that was difficult to say.

“What’s my name?”

Name.

Hearing those words, I pondered for a long time, and decided to choose one of the various names I had thought of before and tell the child.

“…Aileen.”

“Aileen?”

“Your name is Aileen.”

Hoping that she would become a bright light and illuminate this dark world.

I gave the child a name.

“You can change it if you don’t like it. Do you have a name you want?”

“No! I like it! Then am I going to be Aileen Lushellini?”

“…Uh, that’s. Um. Aileen.”

She unexpectedly came at me hard. I didn’t know how to say it, so I kept licking my dry lips. I couldn’t just say ‘You’re a bastard’ to her face, could I? A noble’s surname couldn’t be easily inherited.

But.

“Don’t, don’t be sad because it’s a joke! I know too. I know that I can’t inherit the name of Lushellini unless Mom is formally incorporated into the family.”

“…”

“And. I also know that you’re going to leave Lushellini after this is over.”

In a way, it was even sadder.

Aileen understood her situation.

She hugged me tighter and said quietly.

“Let’s talk about Dad later. There’s not much time left. The World Tree Ajumma is keeping Mom in a near-death state. It was an unavoidable measure to pull Mom’s mind into my mental world. But. Mom’s mind is about to wake up soon.”

“…If I wake up?”

“You’ll go back to normal. I’ll be left in this space, and Mom will go with Dad and that long-eared Unni to meet the World Tree Ajumma.”

I’ve been here for quite a while… I was curious about what Shuriel or Rania were doing right now. Or maybe time flows differently? That’s something I’ll have to find out when I get out. I decided not to think about it now.

I held Aileen’s tiny hand and said soothingly.

“Aileen. We’ll be able to meet again someday. Definitely.”

“Of course. Who do you think Mom’s daughter is? My body is still immature, so it’s too early to see the light of the world, but at least three months. That’s how long it will take to create a complete body.”

“…A complete body? Are you saying you’ll be fully grown when you come out?”

“My mind is already complete.”

Aileen smiled bitterly and lowered her head.

“But if Mom wants, I’ll stay in the form of a child. I’ve become too mature for that, but if Mom wants….”

At that moment. Aileen’s body became blurry. No. Let me correct that. It wasn’t Aileen, but my body that was becoming blurry. My vision too. The world too. Me too. I was gradually becoming transparent and trying to be ejected from this world.

“It looks like time’s up! It’s time to say goodbye now. Mom. Mom?”

“Th, at’s. Ail-Aileen. .“

My voice crackled. I strained my body to avoid letting go of Aileen’s hand. But despite these efforts, my hand, which had turned to dust, passed through Aileen’s hand.

“It was nice meeting you. Then. Goodbye, Mom.”

“Aiai-leen. Ai le, en-…”

Close your eyes.

__

Close.

* * *

-…Look.

-……Wake…up…

A faint voice. I forcibly awakened my hazy mind and assessed the situation. The place where I was lying down was a giant leaf. Next to me was a pond, and in front of me was a giant tree that was over several hundred meters tall-

‘Tree?’

World Tree.

I got up in front of the World Tree.

“Hey! Are you awake? Did you have a nightmare or something?”

“Friend. Are you sad? You’re crying.”

The first things that came into my view were Rania and Shuriel.

Unlike me, they seemed to have safely met the World Tree, as they were standing there perfectly fine.

“I’m sorry. Was I lying down for a long time?”

“Ha! Is that even a question?”

“…?”

They didn’t seem to know that I had met Aileen. But. I remembered that the time in the mental world didn’t exceed three hours. To be this angry? Shuriel was strangely sparing with his words. Instead, Rania told me.

“Friend. You’ve been asleep for three days.”

“Y, you what?”

Three days? How long had I been sleeping? I got up from my spot and straightened my body. My body was fine. It actually felt better than before. Was it thanks to the World Tree’s blessing? My condition was good.

But.

Shuriel’s appearance was a little strange.

“…Shuriel?”

“…I know too, so don’t open your mouth.”

“…”

The golden horn on his head.

It was a horn that looked like it belonged to a Demon.

“Haa… Damn Worl-“

“Stop. Don’t curse the Mother Goddess-nim. There must be a reason,”

“Reason or whatever, I’ll be kicked out of the family if I go back in this state. Are you going to take responsibility for that?”

“…”

It seemed that I wasn’t the only one who had received a ‘gift’ from the World Tree.