Self-Harming Crazy Bubbly Magician

That day, I was in a half-dead state, unable to do anything. Since getting kicked out was practically guaranteed, I was planning to be homeless, but my leg rotted away. Damn it.

As I stared at the ceiling with blood all over and a dazed look, chuckling to myself, the innkeeper picked me up and moved me to another room.

I thought he was going to do something untoward, but the innkeeper just laid me on the bed and didn’t do anything. I could hear the sound of mopping from the next room, so he was probably cleaning up the blood.

I was about to freeze him to absolute zero the moment he took off my pants, but it’s a shame. Maybe my brain just rotted away. I felt sorry for no reason.

Of course, I was kicked out of the inn the next day.

It cost me 4 silver for potion costs and compensation for property damage, which was a bonus. Since I could fully regenerate after sleeping for a day, I didn’t need to drink the potion, but I drank it out of courtesy.

Seeing that he even brought me a potion and moved my room after all that shit, he probably wasn’t a person with a twisted personality.

Feeling embarrassed, I left 3 silver on the table as a tip when I was kicked out.

And the next day, at the Adventurer’s Guild.

“Yujin!”

“Hello.”

“Not hello! Why did you run off so suddenly yesterday?”

I went to stab my wrist. If I said that, I’d definitely be treated like a crazy person.

“I’m sorry. I had something urgent to do…”

“Looking at your face, it looked like an urgent situation. So, you left yesterday without paying the 30 copper registration fee. You’ve brought us valuable materials before, and I thought you’d come back, so I didn’t say anything, but if you can’t pay today, your qualification will be revoked and you’ll be fined.”

I took out 1 silver from my wallet and handed it over. The clinking sound spread everywhere. Roughly, I had 70 silver and 50 copper left.

“Okay! With this, your registration is complete. There are three ways to take on quests. You can choose a quest posted on the quest board, go to the employment agency for work, or receive a designated quest. Or you can go monster hunting on your own.”

I nodded roughly and replied.

Aside from the quests, the gazes I was getting from the people around me weren’t friendly. The prejudice that mages are selfish and always act unilaterally was subtly pervasive…

-Jjalgeurak.

More than anything, the clear sound of coins.

From the moment I took out 1 silver until now, there were several adventurers who had been watching me.

Right now, my entire fortune of 70 silver was money that an E~F rank adventurer would have to earn for 3 years without spending money on equipment or food. They couldn’t help but be envious.

As soon as I parted ways with Mary, I headed to the quest board.

[Goblin Extermination – Reward 20 copper / Additional 3 copper per two fangs]

[Sewer Cleaning – Reward 30 copper]

[Rat Swarm Extermination – Reward 1 silver]

…

…

…

As expected, since I was a low rank, there were only shitty jobs with low rewards.

The most eye-catching quest was, of course, the Rat Swarm Extermination. The reason why catching rats cost 1 silver each was because they were damn big rats. There were hundreds of those rats.

The sewer was also incredibly large, making it a typical trap quest that took more than 2 days to complete.

But it was a perfect quest for me.

I immediately put it into action.

I would post my personal information and a notice that I was recruiting party members on the recruitment board.

[Rat Swarm Extermination Party Recruitment – Can use magic]

Looking at the other papers, I saw embarrassing euphemisms like “Recruiting a blood-calling crazy berserker party” and “Archer like a hellish storm tearing apart monsters.”

Seriously, aren’t they embarrassed?

They’re only D-rank at best.

I applied the glue, stuck it on, and waited for dozens of minutes.

I didn’t have a panic attack like before. My mood had been relieved by the wrist-cutting self-harm show. I spent my time fiddling with the newly purchased knife. It was a folding knife that fit perfectly in my pocket.

The reason why I bought a new knife was that, after the innkeeper took away my knife, I developed a kind of compulsion. I get something similar to anxiety if I don’t have a knife on me.

Anyway, even more time passed, but people didn’t seem to want to join the party.

I’m bored…

I stared intently at the knife in my hand.

“…….”

But, but. I’m outside.

Just once, if I just do it once.

Wouldn’t it be okay?

-Seureuk.

When I unfolded the folding knife, my face was reflected on the smooth surface. It’s a face I can never get used to.

A girl with red low twin tails. Still, it’s nice to see her smiling. If it weren’t for those rotten fish eyes.

‘Yeah…. Just once….’

I put the sharp blade to my wrist. Thanks to my heated body, I could feel the cool sensation vividly.

I applied a little more force. Then, a shallow red line appeared, and blood flowed. Only about five drops. It wasn’t satisfying.

I glanced around a bit and then just slashed it. Peushyuk, the sound of flesh tearing rang out. I immediately wiped away the flowing blood with a cloth. The smell of blood spread, but it wasn’t enough to be noticeable.

I don’t know any magic to erase the smell, what should I do? Should I use clean magic after I’m done? It’s okay. I won’t worry about it. There are many adventurers covered in blood from catching monsters.

“…Heueu.”

My body trembled. Pain always makes me happy. It’s an incredibly lovely existence that proves I’m alive. When I feel pain, I return to the pure old days, at least for that moment. As it approaches everyone equally, I couldn’t hate pain.

Sagak, sagak. I cut the wound again with the knife. My heart beat rapidly.

Should I stop? Should I stop? It’s so good, why? Many thoughts crossed my mind.

-……yo.

Just one more time, let’s just cut it one more time and end it.

-…bwa…yo.

I was wondering whether to cut the wound again or cut a new place. The blood that I hadn’t wiped off yet soaked my thighs.

Yeah.

Just slightly touch the top of the artery-

“Hey!”

-Tak.

Someone grabbed my left arm. He squeezed it so hard that I lost my strength for a moment and dropped the knife.

“Eu, ah?”

Not being able to properly grasp the situation, I raised my head and rolled my eyes.

The one who grabbed my arm was a blonde, short boy.

Looking at his rank, he was E-rank, and his name was Cleang.

Even if he’s short, he’s not shorter than me… Just looking at his appearance, he hasn’t shed the look of a middle schooler? He’s about that age.

I caught my breath and looked around. First, I saw Mary with a pale face. She looked like a restless dog that needed to pee.

Wait,

Mary saw me?

“…….”

Everyone was looking at me.

Shibal.

I’m fucked.

* * *

Contrary to expectations, Cleang had come to find me to join the party. Actually, there were more people besides him, but they were too scared to come because of the way I was cutting my arm and chuckling to myself.

Thankfully, he didn’t ask any more about the self-harm.

“Your name is, Yujin? The magic you can use is… Clean and, Fireball?”

He was pulling up my information from the window and reading it carefully. More than that, I definitely wrote down all the magic I could use, so why are only two left?

“Even if we have a mage, a basic 4-person party is recommended for dealing with a rat swarm. What are we going to do?”

Do I have to wait longer? I couldn’t hide my disappointed expression. As a mage who can use fire, I had the initiative. If I just said let’s go, he would quietly follow. That’s what mages are.

Cleang looked at my face and sighed deeply. I knew it wasn’t polite to sigh in front of someone’s face, but I felt guilty for some reason, so I decided to stay still without saying anything.

People weren’t gathering easily. My scarred wrist was covered with bandages, and the bloodstains had long been erased with Clean, but the image I had shown was so intense that they were avoiding me.

After waiting for another ten minutes or so, two men finally approached us.

“Is this the rat swarm party?”

Cleang replied with a bright expression.

“Ah, yes. What are your professions?”

“Swordsman. This guy is a ranger. His weapon is a crossbow, and he can sense presences and disarm traps. You don’t need me to tell you what weapon I use, right?”

He said, tapping the sword hanging from his waist.

A man with a thick beard is a swordsman. A thin man wearing a hood is a ranger. The hooded man lowered his head without saying a word. Two swordsmen, a scout, and a mage. There’s no need for a tanker to catch rats, so it was a fairly balanced combination.

“That’s good. When should we leave?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m fine leaving right away.”

I don’t like that he’s speaking informally. Besides, that man. He wasn’t looking at Cleang. He was looking at me. More precisely, he was looking at the coin pouch on my waist. His intentions were obvious, but I brushed it off with a poker face.

“Okay. Then let’s get ready for a bit and leave right away. We need to buy tinder and oil, what do you want to do? Are you coming with us?”

“No.”

“Okay, well. Then could you wait for a bit?”

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“No, not you, mage.”

“……?”

He pointed at me. Let’s call him Hairy for now. Hairy asked me with an unpleasant smile.

“Are you from the Magic Tower?”

Ha.

I snorted inwardly. It was such blatant malice. Cleang was too naive to notice, but I could tell.

Mages from the Magic Tower often did adventurer work to build up their achievements.

Right now, Hairy is asking.

Is it okay to kill you?

If you kill someone ‘affiliated with the Magic Tower’, a wanted order will be issued. It doesn’t matter if they’re an apprentice mage or a cleaner. The Magic Tower, which values face-saving, tends to protect its people thoroughly.

The Magic Tower’s closed and protective nature probably had a significant impact on the formation of mages’ selfish and self-centered personalities.

I shook my head.

“No.”

When I said that, Hairy’s lips curved upwards and didn’t come down.