Chapter 376

Chapter 376

For Sale. Fallen Lady. Never Used.

Episode 376: Paracelsus’s Spirits

I was dumbfounded by the sudden humor as soon as I woke up, but Helena’s words were not over yet.

“What do you call a sick bug? A cavity.”1

“…Helena?”

“What do you call a bug building a castle? Loyalty.”2

“Why are you doing this?”

“Isn’t the god of bugs a loyal subject?”3

“Please stop…”

“Oh, what do you call getting hit by a bug? An impact.”4

“……”

Helena nodded with a very proud expression. Then she looked at me, her golden eyes sparkling.

She looked like she couldn’t help but expect my reaction.

However, when she met my serious gaze, she awkwardly avoided my eyes. Then she began to mutter in a small voice.

“Lord! Didn’t you say this would work?!”

“Isn’t it funny?! And you laughed too, Helena!”

“So what?! Brother Yandel doesn’t seem to find it funny! Have you ever actually told this joke to anyone else?”

“Seriously! Everyone laughed like crazy!”

“…Just in case, when, where, and to whom did you tell this joke?”

“300 years ago, to the soldiers of the allied forces in a desperate situation surrounded on all sides…?”

“That’s escapist laughter!”

Helena achieved the contradictory feat of shouting in a hushed voice, but I heard everything with my ears, which had become even more sensitive with the Dragon Heart.

Indeed. Was it Solaris that was broken? No, Helena said she laughed too, so it’s both of them?

Well… strictly speaking, the comedy code of the Eurelia Continent doesn’t suit me, but there were cases like Carla’s jokes and the Imperial Chuckle Humor Book.

I cupped Helena’s cheeks with both hands, who was still muttering and bickering.

“Hic!”

I turned Helena’s startled head toward me and made her look straight into my eyes.

“What is it? Why are you two talking alone? Let me join in.”

“That’s…”

“What was that joke from earlier anyway?”

“Well, that’s…”

Helena rolled her eyes, but soon sighed in resignation.

“Actually, you’ve been depressed ever since you declared you would kill the fake Carla yesterday.”

“Huh?”

“I thought you’d be fine after sleeping, but you still seem to be, so I asked the Lord for advice, and she told me to do this…”

“Hoo.”

I stroked Helena’s sullen cheeks and reviewed what I had just heard.

“So, you’re saying you tried because I seemed down?”

“Yes…”

But Helena still seemed gloomy, perhaps because she thought it didn’t work. Instead of taking my hands off her face, I patted her butt.

“Eup?!”

“Thank you. It wasn’t a very funny joke… but thanks to you, I feel better now.”

“…I think you feel better in a different way.”

“Anyway, isn’t it okay if I feel better?”

When I said that with a nonchalant smile, Helena chuckled and nodded.

“Okay. If you’re happy, Brother, then it’s fine.”

“Then let’s stop talking about this and check our gear again, shall we? This dungeon will be much easier if we prepare thoroughly.”

“Yes. We could probably just sweep through it with our power now… but there’s no need to suffer unnecessarily.”

Helena, who had finally returned to her usual self, turned her back with her unique benevolent smile.

She took a few steps towards her luggage and suddenly stopped.

Suddenly, divine power swirled, and familiar lion ears and a tail popped out.

Solaris, who had surfaced, took a few steps back with her back turned and pushed her butt towards me.

There were no words, but the wagging tail pointed towards the ceiling told me everything.

She wanted me to pat her butt like Helena, didn’t she?

Maybe it’s all Solaris’s fault that Helena likes spanking. Solaris has a habit of lifting her hips when she gets excited, probably due to her racial characteristics, so her butt gets hit a lot…

That’s Helena’s body, after all, isn’t it? Could it be that it was developed without her knowing?

I felt a sudden sense of resentment at that thought, so instead of patting her, I hit her a little harder.

Slap!

“Haaanngh…!”

For some reason, she seemed happier.

…Well, it’s okay since she likes it!

As soon as we finished preparing, we teleported back to the vicinity of the Great Forest. But this time, there was no need to ride Nidhogg.

A dungeon that was one of Alfheim’s top secrets and didn’t even have a name. Its location was not underground like Yggdrasil, but on the outskirts of the Great Forest.

By the way, Helena’s Saintess-only carriage, which I used before riding Nidhogg for the first time after entering the Great Forest, was left in Yggdrasil.

The paladins of the Church of Radiance, who arrived late, decided to take it to Solaris after finishing their civilian support and simple surrounding cleanup.

…And by then, my statue will be roughly shaped!

While I shuddered involuntarily, recalling the image drawn by the Circulating Life, Iris, who had approached me, asked,

“Master, I heard that monsters and unstable spirits will appear in this dungeon. I have a request to make…”

“Huh? You’re not thinking of making a contract with the spirits there, are you? Just so you know, it’s not illegal since they weren’t summoned, but they’re not proper spirits, so a contract is impossible.”

“That’s not it! Why would I be interested in spirits in the first place!”

“Don’t say that. You became a slave trying to summon spirits.”

“Th-that was a false accusation! It was a false accusation, I tell you!”

“Your self-brainwashing is perfect.”

“Eek! Eek…!”

When I nodded with an admiring look, Iris angrily slapped my forearm.

But now that the slave mark was gone, she could actually hit me instead of just pretending to.

Slap! Slap!

As proof, a sharp sound echoed every time Iris swung her arm. The hitter herself looked more surprised, perhaps because she didn’t expect this.

“Ah… Master? Does it hurt a lot? I’m sorry, I couldn’t control my strength…”

Iris gently stroked my forearm with a look like a child who had done something wrong. I lightly stroked Iris’s white hair, who was flustered with a mix of apology and embarrassment.

“It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s okay. My pure physical ability was already comparable to an average knight, and it’s become even stronger since I got the Dragon Heart.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. The moment I get hit, my body automatically concentrates mana to absorb the impact.”

It’s not as good as refined aura or completed defensive magic, but concentrating mana strengthens the body.

Of course, there are clear limits… but it should be enough to block Iris’s tiny hand smash.

In fact, the hit area didn’t even leave a handprint or turn red.

Iris, seeing my white forearm as usual, nodded as if convinced.

“That’s a relief. But I’ll be more careful next time.”

“Okay, okay. But what did you want to talk about if it wasn’t about a spirit contract?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. Do you remember that Elisha gained enlightenment after seeing the magic you used to defeat the Grotesque Proliferation?”

“Of course. Don’t tell me…?”

“That’s right. I also gained my own enlightenment, and I’ve finally been able to organize it. So, I was wondering if you could leave the battle in the dungeon to me and Elisha, as I want to try a few things.”

“Sure, why not? Then, basically, you and Elisha will fight, and I and the others will assist.”

“Thank you.”

Iris bowed and trotted off to Elisha. I watched her for a moment and then informed the others.

Carla and Iona didn’t seem to care, but Helena and Solaris, who were a bit excited after defeating two Evil Gods, were disappointed. Of course, they nodded in the end.

“Um… Junior?”

“Yes?”

Faye, the key to capturing this dungeon, smiled and held out her hands together.

“I have to wait outside anyway, right? I was going to do some research, but I’m a little short on budget…”

“Oh, I forgot to mention it. Senior Faye, you have to go into the dungeon with us this time.”

“…Huh?”

“Because this dungeon is a battlefield sealed along with Paracelsus’s workshop.”

“What?! That’s the first time I’ve heard that! No, why is the great alchemist Paracelsus here in the first place?! I thought it was a place where crazy spirits and monsters fight!”

“It’s natural since I just said it.”

For reference, Alfheim speculates that spirits and monsters fought during the Great War and were all trapped in the dungeon.

It’s natural to have spirit stones, which store the spirits’ power, where spirits are.

However, unlike the monsters, which are relatively intact due to the blessing of the Evil Gods, the spirits, which were left abandoned after the connection with the spirit world was severed, went crazy and broke down… or so they understand.

“Well, in reality, they’re Paracelsus’s failed artificial spirits from his later years.”

“Artificial spirits…? What are those?!”

Faye jumped up in surprise.

Her large breasts swayed with such a violent jump that they hit her face.

Thwack!

“Ack!”

Faye, holding her nose, continued to speak through her tears.

“E-explain… properly…”

“First, stop the nosebleed.”

Faye, getting a nosebleed from a self-breast slap…

Possible!

ED/N: Cavity (chung-chi) uses the same first character as bug. ↩️

ED/N: Loyalty (chung-seong) uses the same first character as bug. ↩️

ED/N: Loyalty (chung-shin) uses the same first character as bug. ↩️

ED/N: Impact (chung-gyeok) uses the same first character as bug. ↩️