031. Taming (1)

“Die! Die, you crazy bastard…!”

I’ve been hit before in my life, but I’ve never been genuinely hit by a woman who’s a whole head shorter than me.

She doesn’t even know how to hit properly, just clenching her fists and pounding with her knuckles, peok peok, making it look like she’s hurting herself more.

Well, it just means she’s really pissed off, I guess.

“Hey, why are you hitting me? Stop.”

“You, damn it, what marriage? Are you crazy? You? And what’s this about a manager!?”

I grabbed the wrists of Seo Haeun, who was yelling her lungs out and pounding my chest, and looked into her teary eyes.

Shame.

Anger.

Self-loathing.

Seeing as they were nothing but negative emotions, in a way, she looked easy to manipulate.

“If we’re going to live together, you need to set that much up so you don’t kick me out.”

“That’s, that’s not the important part!”

The reason she’s so furious with me can be explained in one word.

Inferiority complex.

What else could there possibly be?

Of course, Seo Haeun doesn’t feel inferior to me.

She feels it towards her own sister.

Looking at Seo Jia, who treated her own sister and her supposed future brother-in-law like a pair of cockroaches, it’s understandable why she’d have a meltdown like this.

“Then what is important? We agreed to say we’re lovers anyway, didn’t we?”

“That’s why, it’s not that…!”

“If not that, then what? Do you think your sister would happily agree if two jobless losers decided to just live it up in a three-bedroom house?”

“….”

At the very least, she could have exaggerated my status to make me seem like a decent guy she was living with, or exaggerated her own status to make it look like I was living under her care. Then she wouldn’t have gotten this mad.

This woman is angry because her roommate showed up dressed sloppily while pretending to be her boyfriend.

It’s really annoying.

Honestly, she’s not the type I’d want as a girlfriend.

Her personality has too many flaws even for a friends-with-benefits situation.

“Haeun-ah. Stop being grumpy and sit down to eat first. You’re just irritable because you’re hungry, right? Eat first, then think about it, eat.”

“You, you really, I thought you…, like, that…!”

“…Sit down, Haeun-ah. Before I get angry too.”

…Still, I’ll let it slide because she’s kinda hot.

The way she becomes obedient the moment I lower my voice is just like the puppy I raised when I was young.

It was a small dog, easily scared and irritable, always growling grrr-woof woof when bored, but it listened well after some firm training.

Of course, training a dog and training a person are vastly different, but in a very broad sense, the framework is similar.

“Haeun-ah, I didn’t bring up marriage or manager stuff to screw you over, okay? Huh? If I just leave you be, what are you going to tell your sister? Are you going to say you were raped, just like you told me?”

“….”

“And if your sister asks why you’re eating with a rapist, what will you say then? Will you say you were threatened this time? Hey, damn it. If that happens, I’ll get sued by a famous celebrity, and I’ll have to reveal all the recordings, right? In court?”

The most important thing in communication isn’t the content of the words, but the tone and eye contact.

Saying ‘I like you so much’ while growling grrr-woof woof and glaring won’t make anyone hear it as a love confession.

Similarly, whispering ‘I’m going to kill you’ sweetly and tenderly into your lover’s ear while making loving eye contact turns it not into a death threat, but an invitation to bed.

Likewise, Haeun-ah’s ‘I’m gonna report you!’ said in a scared voice isn’t a declaration of reporting, but a plea to be disciplined.

“Haeun-ah, whatever you were thinking when you agreed to live together, you and I are living together because we need each other. Whether you curse me out or whatever when it’s just the two of us is your freedom, but if you say something negative about me when others are around, it makes both of us look weird. You understand?”

“…You only did that when it was just the two of us…”

“That’s not the point, though. We’re going to be living together for half a year, so you can’t just be grumpy all the time. If I leave right now, tomorrow, how are you going to pay off your debt? If you don’t pay it, won’t your sister keep throwing a fit every time you meet, just like before? Right?”

“….”

Even if I sometimes stray from the point like this, if the other person isn’t thinking of arguing back, I can twist things around without any hesitation.

Scolding a woman my age isn’t exactly a familiar experience, but Haeun-ah lacked experience compared to me.

The social skill of being nice to seniors ten times while nagging juniors nine times and being nice once isn’t something you learn; you have to experience it firsthand.

“…Let’s stop fighting and eat. Ah, damn it. It’s all cold now. Because some weirdo barged in. But it’s still edible, so try it. I’m a good cook.”

“….”

“Tell me if you need more rice. We can just reheat it anyway.”

“…It’s fine. I’ll eat.”

Finally, I got the woman I found so bothersome to feed a meal to sit at the table and served her food.

Seo Haeun, picking at her cold food with a sullen expression, looked quite grumpy, but strangely, she also seemed cute.

Ah, I shouldn’t be enjoying this.

I’m starting to understand why the seniors used to say I’d definitely become a coach when I got older.

…It really is fun to tame people.

And if it’s a woman with huge tits and who’s damn gorgeous, well, it’s hundreds of times more enjoyable, naturally.

**

I want to die.

I’ve often said I wanted to die in my life, but this is the first time I’ve genuinely felt like dying.

I wasn’t even this depressed when that man raped me.

Being nagged by my sister.

Being treated like a cockroach.

That clueless bastard just spouted nonsense.

Being scolded, being disciplined,

…And then getting a meal with swollen eyes.

What am I doing?

Am I an idiot?

I’ve never hit anyone before, so why couldn’t I hold back today and beat that man’s chest?

I know it wouldn’t hurt him at all, no matter how hard I hit.

I know he could stop me with just a flick of his hand.

“Haeun-ah, can I come in?”

“…Get lost.”

“No, hey. Give me a blanket. I didn’t bring a bed or blankets in my luggage, you know?”

I was sitting curled up without even drying my hair after showering, and that bastard, still clueless as ever, knocks on my door.

…Just leave me alone.

You said you wouldn’t touch me first.

“Haeun-ah. I won’t count you hitting me earlier as ‘touching me,’ so just throw me a blanket. I need a pillow too.”

“…Haa.”

But this time, I have no excuse; I was wrong.

I hit Kang Joo-hyuk first,

and he just grabbed my wrist, not doing anything more.

…I wish he had just overpowered me and raped me right then. I had the recording on, so I could have kicked him out.

Or maybe it would have been easier if I had honestly told Jia I was raped when she came over, like he suggested.

….

Thinking back to that recording I still can’t erase from my mind, even I thought it didn’t seem like rape.

“Thank you, thank you. Where are the blankets and pillows?”

“…There are spares in the closet over there.”

“Which closet, exactly?”

“The one on the far right.”

“Specify like that. I could accidentally open the wrong closet, you know.”

But what happened yesterday or today, sometime before dawn, was undeniably rape, no matter what excuse I give.

Just for touching my phone a little, he penetrated me without protection.

And in the end, he forced me to come in my mouth.

He dragged the depressed me to the bathtub and touched me until I collapsed from exhaustion.

…What a perverted rapist bastard.

“Are you going to sleep now too?”

“…Yeah.”

“Then sleep well… Oh. Sorry about earlier. I got pretty angry, didn’t I?”

“What…?”

But that heinous criminal so easily blurts out words I can’t even bring myself to say.

It was the same when I was suffocating with shame because I couldn’t just lie and say he was my boyfriend to solve everything.

…And it was the same when I felt sorry for hitting him, so I had to ask him not to do anything weird since he touched me first.

“No, why are you so surprised? We have to live together for half a year, are we going to fight over things like this all the time?”

“….”

“I get that you’re hysterical because your sister has a bad attitude, so don’t crouch around like that without even drying your hair over it. What’s the big deal about earning good money and being popular?”

How can this man talk so casually in front of the woman he raped?

It scares me because it feels like he genuinely sees me as just a roommate.

It’s definitely not that simple a relationship.

“And when I tell you to eat, eat. I went to the trouble of making it, so eat it deliciously. If you pick at it, I don’t feel like cooking.”

“…Are you a psychopath?”

“I’ve heard I’m a sociopath, but no. I cry my eyes out watching sad movies too.”

Seeing him respond without batting an eye to my absurd question makes it feel like a real psycho kidnapper is lurking beside me.

I’m definitely scared and afraid.

A kidnapper who probably won’t kill me.

“And I have something I want to suggest to you tomorrow, so sleep well today.”

“…What is it?”

“I don’t think you’d listen when you’re depressed.”

“I wouldn’t listen even when I’m fine… Just tell me.”

He keeps listening to me, keeps trying to get me to do things.

I don’t know why he’s doing this.

Is he trying to win my favor,

…Or is he trying to make a move on me?

“Uh…, earlier, I got the rooms mixed up and went into the next one, and there was a soundproof booth. That’s what you use when you play guitar, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“You didn’t go in there today, are you quitting YouTube?”

“I don’t know. …Nobody watches it anyway.”

“If you’re going to quit anyway, will you just listen to me once?”

“…What is it?”

“No, just… Like I said. It doesn’t make sense that you can’t get popular with your face and body.”

“…Are you telling me to show my face?”

“Well…, if you really hate it, you don’t have to show your face. …You could probably just film from the neck down? Someone like you.”

“….”

I don’t care.

That man lies too well.

Whether this is genuine.

Or another lie to mess with me.

Or him trying to make a move.

…I don’t know, but

I nod my head.

Because it feels like… something might work.