episode_0059

“Ah, I’m full.”

Dabin pats his bulging belly, wearing a satisfied smile.

“Oh, I’ve broken even today.”

Dayoung leans back in his chair, looking content, taking a bite of ice cream.

“Tsk, Dayoung. It’s hard to break even unless you have as many subscribers as Newtuber Juyang.”

Even if it’s not exactly the food industry, roughly estimating costs like raw materials and depreciation, one can say that a person who breaks even at a buffet should be someone who eats a lot, almost to the point where two out of every 100 people are seen as eating significantly more than what they pay for.

“Must you make such a fuss about breaking even, Mom? Don’t you know the term ‘opportunity cost’?”

Why don’t you understand? Where else is a department as sensitive to consumer trends as the development department?

“Well, fine. If you guys are satisfied, that’s enough.”

She said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Perhaps due to being active all day, I unknowingly overate. Well, calling it overeating for me now would mean that compared to when I was a man, it was below the amount I used to eat normally, but still, three plates were quite reasonable for me.

“After swimming for 3 hours and playing hard at the arcade for an hour, the rice tastes so good, just as it is.”

“That’s right. Just go up to your room and lie down on the bed; you’ll sleep like a baby.”

“Hey, you didn’t even climb the mountain in the morning.”

Laughing at Dayoung’s attempt to pretend he went to Hwangnyeongsan.

“Pfft! Hey, just because you drove up and took a few steps doesn’t mean anything, really.”

The conversation, which started as a joke to burn off some calories, ended after emptying two cups of coffee, two fruit plates, and one bakery plate.

“Ugh, I can’t eat anymore.”

“Yeah. Why do you eat so ignorantly like that?”

Dayoung grimaced as if his stomach wasn’t feeling well. Wanting to defend against my teasing, he somehow wanted to break even.

In the end, I ended up provoking Dayoung.

“Ugh, how foolish.”

Eating expensive food and then suffering, isn’t that a foolish thing to do?

Leaving the buffet and asking Dabin to take Dayoung upstairs, I headed to the convenience store. I thought I should buy some antacids or something.

Stopping by the convenience store, I bought antacids, ion drinks, and returned to the room. When I entered, Dayoung was groaning, tossing and turning on the bed.

“Are you okay? Here, drink this quickly.”

Handing Dayoung the antacid, he reluctantly sat up and gulped it down.

“Ugh.”

It was a carbonated antacid, so after spitting out a bit of foam, he lay back down.

“Ugh, you too.”

“Sister, not feeling well?”

“Uh…”

Seeing Dayoung unable to continue, I felt sorry for him. I sat next to him and gently stroked his back.

-Swish, swish.

While I was comforting him, Dabin held Dayoung’s hand and pressed the muscles between his thumb and index finger. When the kids were sick, I often did this, and now Dabin naturally followed suit.

“I’m sorry…”

Dayoung said in a voice that seemed like he was dying.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s because of me we couldn’t go to the spa. Since I’m fine, you two could have gone together.”

-Slap!

“Ow!”

Instead of continuing to comfort him, I slapped the back of his head.

“Don’t talk nonsense! Where do you think you’re going leaving your sick mother behind? Where are the parents who can relax with a sick child in the world?”

It’s painful enough to be sick, but seeing other families having fun, how heartbreaking is that? More than that, I’m uncomfortable. Where do you think you’re going leaving your sick child behind?

“Sob, sniff.”

Suddenly, Dayoung burst into tears.

“Dayoung, why are you crying?”

I felt guilty, wondering if I hit too hard. She was already in pain, and I stupidly hit her back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mom. So please don’t cry.”

She said, turning her head sideways.

“T-Thank you, Mom. Hoo-ah!”

Why am I so thankful? I don’t know why, but seeing a hurt child cry makes my eyes well up for no reason.

They say women cry when they’re sad, so it seemed like Dayoung had become sentimental.

Watching Dayoung like that, Davin silently held her hand and continued to comfort her.

After soothing Dayoung’s body for a while, she eventually fell asleep. It seems like she’s finally relaxed.

-Gently

“Phew, I guess it’s digested.”

“Yeah.”

Davin exhaled a sigh of relief as she looked into my eyes.

“Are you okay? You seemed to eat a lot earlier. Should I give you a digestive pill?”

As she had bought three bottles just in case, she asked me.

“No, I’m fine. I don’t eat that recklessly.”

“Heh. Right. Your sister is a bit greedy.”

“Uh…”

Dayoung muttered self-deprecatingly. It wasn’t rebuke; the timing just seemed right.

Anyway, after getting through the urgent situation, a sense of relief washed over me. Well, I’ve been quite active since morning.

To both wake up and take a break, I went out to the terrace with Davin. While looking at the sea, I murmured softly.

“But I might regret not going to the spa.”

“But you have to wear a swimsuit at the spa, right?”

Well, since the spa and the pool were connected by a bridge, I briefly went over before coming out, and most people were wearing rash guards or beachwear.

“Come to think of it, I only wore a swimsuit once.”

Davin looked at me puzzled.

“That… do you regret it?”

“Oh, no! It’s not that! It’s just that some were expensive, and I didn’t want to waste them by wearing them only once… No, here, wasting means economically…”

“Heh! You don’t have to make excuses. I know what you mean.”

“S-So…”

“I see. I might regret it too.”

“What, what?”

“Did you see the families playing in the water earlier?”

Since most of them were family guests, there was no way I hadn’t seen them. Nodding my head, I thought.

“Among them, the prettiest was a mom. Oh, among the young moms. Yep.”

“Why is that?”

“Just. It made me proud somehow. Like, ‘This is our mom!’ kind of feeling?”

Is that so? Well, if your parents are capable or exceptional, it can make you feel a sense of responsibility.

“But I was a dad.”

“Ah, what does that have to do with anything now?”

Davin suddenly spoke in a low voice.

“Anyway, now we only have one parent left, Mom.”

“That’s…”

“Earlier, when Mom went to shower, I talked to my sister for a moment.”

“Huh? What did you talk about?”

“My sister told me not to call Mom ‘Dad’ anymore.”

The morning conversation. I was going to tell Davin separately, but it seems Dayoung beat me to it.

“So, what did you say?”

“I said I understood. Now it’s right to call her Mom.”

“Isn’t that strange? If that’s the case, then we only have two moms.”

“One.”

“For us, we only have one mom.”

I looked at Davin without saying a word.

“Just now, my sister suddenly cried.”

“Yeah…”

“Why do you think she cried?”

Davin asked me, looking into my eyes.

“Well, maybe because hitting her back hurt too much…”

“No. Earlier, Mom said, ‘Where are the parents who can rest easy with two children in pain?’ She was moved by those words.”

I chuckled at that. It seemed so obvious to me that I couldn’t grasp where the touching point was at all.

“Dad too… No, mom too, but we’ve all been rejected once already.”

Ah!

I see… So that’s what it was. Foolishly… I talked about it in the morning too.

Maybe children’s wounds are bigger than I think, and than what I know. The breaking of a family that seemed unbreakable, and the person who should always be on my side leaving me, might be one of the biggest events one can experience in life, even in an era where such cases have become common.

So maybe I couldn’t trust either. Even though I had vowed to protect the children to the end and remained that way, from the children’s perspective, the two parents became one anyway. The other side could also abandon themselves at any time, perhaps plagued by such insecurity.

Thinking like that made my heart ache.

“Sob.”

“Mom?”

I slowly approached Davin and hugged him tightly as I did with Dayoung in the morning.

“Mom is sorry. Sob.”

“Oh, no. I… ”

“No, it’s all Mom’s fault. You didn’t even know you were feeling so anxious… Sob.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Mom.”

Although it seemed like Davin was comforting me as a parent, the tears that had burst forth showed no sign of stopping, and I continued to hold Davin, endlessly crying, repeating only how sorry I was.

Davin reassured me that it was okay, and they were grateful to me, but that gratitude hurt even more.

It felt like it implied, “Thank you for staying with us.” It was too natural for a family to remain a family, and I felt so sorry for not being able to keep that.

After crying for a long time, as if pouring out all emotions, I entered the room, sat on the sofa, and sighed heavily.

“Sigh, sigh!”

Gratitude, remorse, and various complex emotions filled the void left by the outpouring of emotions. It was embarrassment.

Crying in the arms of a child, especially a 3rd-grade middle school son who wasn’t even an adult, brought such shame that I couldn’t even meet Davin’s eyes.

“Here, have some water.”

Davin brought a bottle of water from the room fridge and handed it to me.

“Th-thank you. Sigh!”

– Gulp, gulp

The long sobbing quickly cooled down with a bottle of water.

And come to think of it, it was the first time I had cried in front of Davin since the period when I cried in front of Dad.

“Do you feel better now? Sigh! Seeing me cry like this.”

Davin scratched his cheek awkwardly.

“If it had been Dad’s appearance, you might have felt better… But well. I’m Mom, right?”

Was superficiality applicable even within families? Well, even I thought that if I cried like a baby in my male form, I might feel better.

“I’m thirsty.”

After finishing the water, I went to the fridge to find something to drink, and brought two cans of beer left over from yesterday to the table.

– Clack! Ssshhh~

“Oh, Mom, would you like some beer? Do we have any snacks…?”

“You don’t need to. Oh, there are some cookies I bought yesterday.”

I rummaged through the loosely scattered bag next to the carrier and found two bags of cookies.

After opening the cookie bag and drinking some beer, suddenly…

“Oh, do you want to try some too?”

I offered Davin some alcohol.

“W-what? What are you saying? I’m a minor!”

Davin looked visibly flustered and raised his arm, but…

“It’s okay. Learning about alcohol from adults is normal, and legally, as your guardian, I permit it, so nothing bad will happen if you drink.”

“That’s not the issue!”

“Ugh, really! If Mom drinks, then she drinks!”

With that, I forcefully subdued Davin and took a few sips of beer.

“Kek, kek! Cough, cough! Ugh! Why are you eating this tasteless thing?!”

Unlike Dayoung, who is a health-conscious man, Davin showed a very ordinary reaction.

Yeah, that’s the right reaction.

“You took the beer from my hand yesterday and drank it, saying it was good, and ended up finishing a whole can by yourself. But you didn’t even flinch. Tough woman.”

Davin, who was trying to neutralize the bitterness of the beer by taking a bite of a snack, looked flustered at my words, then hurriedly grabbed another can of beer and chugged it down.

“Gulp, gulp! Wait, you’re saying my sister drank a whole can of beer yesterday? This big one?”

Davin, who had a competitive spirit towards his sister, even if just a little, now looked at the newly opened can of beer with a determined expression, although he had been defensive until just now.

Yesterday, I dealt with my daughter, and today, I’m dealing with my son in a grand manner.

I wondered if this was right, but Dayoung wanted to restrain himself, and Davin, who was feeling a bit resentful, wanted to tease him a bit.

“Ew, bitter!”

Even though he grimaced, Davin reluctantly ate, which was truly characteristic of him. If he were as honest as Dayoung, he would have just said it tasted bad and put it down, but he forced himself to drink.

“Heh heh. It’s an adult taste. Cheers.”

As the alcohol entered his body, he naturally felt heavier and rested his chest on the table.

“Ah, comfortable.”

It wasn’t like yesterday, but even with just one can of beer today, I felt a bit tipsy. It must be because I used a lot of energy today.

“What, are you already drunk?”

Looking at Davin’s face, which turned as red as a beet, I took the beer can from his hand and shook it, realizing he had barely drunk half of it.

“Is your tolerance really this different from your sister’s?”

“I-I’m not drunk, okay?”

“Lies. Your face is completely red right now.”

“T-This! This is for a different reason…”

“Haha, excuses. What other reason?”

Was it because I was feeling slightly light-headed or because my mood was slightly elevated? Unintentionally, my voice rose a tone, and my speech seemed to have a lot of nasal tones mixed in. Something was off.

“That’s… a s-secret.”

“Pfft! Cute.”

With that, I finished my beer and prepared to go to bed.

What about Davin?

Despite claiming he wasn’t drunk, after drinking a few more sips, his face turned completely red, and he started babbling, “Mom is bad! Mom is bad!” while making strange gestures.

Seeming a bit drunk, I tried to lay Davin next to Dayoung for support.

“Hehe, I like mom.”

“Oh, okay. Mom likes you too. So let’s lie down quietly in bed. Got it?”

When a child gets drunk, they cling strangely. Could this behavior harden into a habit later on? It could be troublesome if they cling to anyone. They’re good-looking, so some girl might take advantage of them.

“Sigh, shouldn’t have given him alcohol.”

After finally laying Davin down on the bed, this time he started insisting we sleep together and fooling around. Unable to resist Davin’s antics, I also lay down on the bed. Even though it was a double-sized bed, lying side by side with three people didn’t feel too cramped.

Maybe it’s okay for the whole family to sleep together once in a while.

Perhaps due to the alcohol or maybe because of exhaustion, my head no longer spun, and I ended up lying on the bed, falling asleep.