episode_0018

“Huh, eh? To…to sleep together, you say…?”

Regina’s ruby-colored eyes trembled.

The girl buried her face completely in the pillow, with only her eyes peeking out, looking at me.

Her face was completely flushed. Regina, trying to hide it somehow. It was cute to watch her like that, but Regina must be getting tired too.

I lifted the blanket and asked again.

“Yeah. Regina said earlier, right? She’s scared of being left alone and feeling abandoned again. So come in.”

“Ah, um…”

Regina still hesitated. Is she embarrassed after all?

I briefly wondered if it wouldn’t be such a big deal for girls to be embarrassed like this, unlike if I were a man. But thinking about Regina’s past, I convinced myself.

This must be a first for Regina in her 999 lives. A girl who had been living thoughtlessly without any deep thoughts would not be familiar with such an experience.

Thinking she might continue like this until late into the night if left alone, I grabbed Regina’s wrist.

“You’re not coming in?”

“Ah, no…but, I need to mentally prepare first…!”

“It’s already one in the morning. Should I just go to bed first?”

“Ah, okay, okay…!”

Startled and hesitant, Regina finally lay down next to me, closing her eyes tightly. Her heartbeat quickened audibly as she gradually lifted her head from the pillow I was holding.

I held her hand and asked.

“How about now? Won’t you be less scared when you wake up tomorrow?”

“Eek?! Cyan…!?”

“Oh, sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable…?”

“No, it’s just…this feeling is so strange…um, it’s not that I dislike you…!”

Regina poured out words in response to my casual remark. Her voice was trembling heavily. Grabbing my hand tightly, Regina, who trembled at the slightest touch, spoke urgently.

“You don’t need to apologize…! It’s all my fault, so please don’t abandon me, please. I’ll do anything, please…”

Regina trembled visibly. The emotion in her lifeless red eyes was desperation. I quickly held both of Regina’s wrists as she began to convulse again, embracing her.

Regina started sobbing pitifully in my arms, pleading.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…! Please, please don’t leave me. If you’re not here, I…I’ll lose my mind…”

I comforted Regina in silence.

She was a girl completely broken in the endless cycle of rebirth, with her self-esteem shattered. Whatever I said, she would perceive it strangely.

What Regina needed now wasn’t just comforting words but warmth. Trapped by ‘fate,’ she had become unable to harbor emotions towards people who always acted the same way. She needed human warmth.

And I couldn’t bring myself to abandon Regina like that. No matter how difficult it was to embrace Regina, I felt responsible for her ending up like this.

The girl in my arms spoke with a trembling voice.

“Please…don’t leave me…”

“Don’t worry. I will never abandon Regina. We are friends who share a secret, right?”

“Ugh…really…?”

“Yes. So let’s call it a night.”

“Uh…”

Regina, who felt like a child, blushed as if realizing it just now. I gently stroked her while smiling softly.

“Regina.”

“I’m sorry…! I won’t do this again, I promise… My emotions are completely out of control, and that’s because they’ve been messed up due to regression…”

“It’s okay. Pour everything out to me, I’ll take it all. If it’s tough, you can tell me. If you want to cry, you can snuggle into my arms.”

Everyone needs a pillar of support in their hearts. And I wanted to be Regina’s pillar of support, swept away by the vast flow of the world.

At the very least, someone she could rely on in difficult times. Someone she could share her worries with. And a comrade who could have her back on the battlefield.

The feelings I harbored for Regina were closer to an older sister looking at an adorable younger sibling rather than rational affection. If I were to call it rational affection, then perhaps Yerena would rank higher.

Simply put, I just wanted to protect Regina. I wanted to shatter the ‘fate’ that confined her and help the girl regain her smile.

“Is it really okay…?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“But… But I’m much more broken than Si-an thinks. In fact, even now, I don’t feel like myself. Ever since surpassing the 100th round. Living half-heartedly. Since then, I can’t distinguish emotions well.”

“It’s okay. I can handle it all.”

I wanted to see Regina smile once again.

Regina’s laughter seen beyond the screen in the game. Her uniquely cute expression exuding untainted happiness.

So, as I slowly stroked Regina’s back, I continued speaking.

“I understand that feeling well. Suddenly falling into a strange world, struggling to survive in a slum where you don’t know anyone.”

“…So, are you being kind to me?”

“Well, something like that. There’s no need for a reason when one person helps another.”

Muttering like that, I turned my gaze towards the window. Somehow, Regina’s gaze felt burdensome.

This is simply an act of rectifying my own mistakes. It feels like I’m packaging it as a selfless deed.

Feeling a pang of conscience for some reason, I let out a small sigh and closed my eyes.

“Sleep well, Regina.”

“Huh…? Wait, I’m going to… sleep like this…?”

“You said you felt lonely. That’s why… Should I untangle it for you?”

“Oh, no! It’s okay…! I think I like it too…”

Regina cautiously faced me, answering with a trembling voice. I covered us with the blanket and manipulated magic to extinguish the lamp.

As the room darkened, only the breathing of the two girls intersected in the air. The drowsiness enveloped the calm atmosphere of the infirmary in an instant.

Today seemed like a busy day in many ways. Making friends with Yerena in the morning, entering a dungeon during the exam, then stumbling into a double dungeon. Meeting Regina and sharing each other’s secrets. Facing the ancient lich together.

I didn’t resist the accumulated fatigue in my body. As soon as I lay on the soft bed, I fell asleep right away.

Regina, not even noticing her own blushing face while not knowing what to do in my embrace.

.

.

.

The morning at the Academy Infirmary was quite warm for early March, despite the chilly weather.

It wasn’t thanks to any warming magic. Since it was still the first day of Academy enrollment, the heating spells weren’t operational in the infirmary yet.

I watched Regina, sound asleep, tightly embraced. I briefly debated whether I should wake her up. She was sleeping so well, and it felt a bit rude to disturb her when classes were about to start.

So, I waited for about five more minutes before gently shaking Regina.

“Regina. It’s time to wake up. It’s morning.”

“Ooh… Miss Cyan…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I didn’t go anywhere, so don’t worry.”

“Hehe…”

In a sleepy voice, Regina snuggled into my arms, rubbing her face against my chest. Our skins touched through the thin hospital gowns.

Even though I’ve lived as a girl for over five years, and my tolerance towards girls is higher compared to my past life, seeing such a cute girl like this was quite heart-fluttering.

So, I threw off the blanket decisively.

“It’s time to get up now.”

“Huh?!”

With a shiver from the incoming chill, Regina trembled. She then clung even closer to me to preserve the remaining warmth.

Carefully detaching Regina from me, I spoke.

“Sorry, Regina. I don’t want to be separated from you if possible, but today’s first class is in the martial arts department. Do you have classes today, Regina?”

“Uh… no…”

Regina, who had been silent in my embrace, slowly let go and replied.

“I-It’s… alright. Just by what you’ve done so far, Cyan, it’s enough. I don’t want to bother you by holding on to you more than necessary…”

Unfolding the creased part of her hospital gown slowly, Regina got up and raised her index finger while looking at me.

“Instead… please, grant me one request.”

“What is it?”

“After class, even if it’s just for a little while. Please stay with me.”

“Alright. That shouldn’t be too difficult.”

Putting on the school uniform hanging in a corner of the room, I greeted Regina.

“Well then, see you in a bit?”

“…Yes!”

—

The day after the midterm exam on March 8th. The Academy at seven in the morning was bustling with students heading to their assigned classes.

Among them, there was a particular spot where many students had gathered. It was in front of the bulletin board displaying the results of the Academy’s martial arts department Class A assignment.

The area in front of the board labeled “[Academy Martial Arts Department Class A Accepted Students List]” was a mix of students’ cheers and sighs.

Approaching that board wasn’t easy. The frail body of a seventeen-year-old girl, barely reaching 160 cm, could only be pushed around by sturdy boys.

“Wait, excuse me. Let me pass, ah…!?”

Amidst the crowd of students, someone grabbed my swaying body and pulled me out. A familiar girl’s hand wrapped around my waist, and her neatly arranged silver hair cascaded down my shoulder. The soft touch of fat behind my back could be felt…

“Uh…?”

Unintentionally, my body trembled. At the same time, heat rose up my cheeks. Did Regina feel like this when she hugged me? I briefly wondered.

I cautiously called out the name of the girl who pulled me out of the crowd.

“Miss Yelena…?”