Chapter 883: I missed you.

“What did you say?”

I asked, forcing myself to relax my stiff body. Did I hear that wrong? I thought so a hundred times, but this time, it wasn’t.

“What… what?”

“…”

Despite my repeated questions, Namgung Bi-ah didn’t say anything further.

She just looked at me.

Her blue eyes, like they held the sea as she looked at me, were always beautiful. At first, I couldn’t meet her gaze and turned my head countless times. Now, I could barely manage to look. However, my panicked, trembling eyes were unavoidable.

After trembling like that for a while, I moved my throat slightly.

Gulp.

I swallowed involuntarily.

“Where… did you learn something like that… No, do you even know what you’re saying in the first place?”

She seemed to know nothing about this area, so yes, she definitely must have done it without knowing what it meant. As I thought that, I asked.

“It’s… making a baby.”

“…”

“I know….”

Oh my god. My head spun instantly. When did she learn? When exactly…

“I’m older than you, oppa.”

Namgung Bi-ah, apparently displeased with my reaction, pointed it out. Right. Namgung Bi-ah is older. But still… should I equate this with that? I was deep in thought.

“Can you… explain… in detail…?”

At Namgung Bi-ah’s words, I waved my hand.

“No, don’t. Please, don’t.”

Whatever detailed explanation it was, I definitely didn’t want to hear it from her mouth.

‘Where on earth did she learn that?’

What kind of information could she have gathered over the years? I was curious about who she might have heard it from, but that wasn’t the issue right now.

“Well…”

“…”

“Um…”

What should I say? I needed to say something, but my damn mouth wouldn’t cooperate. My mind went blank. What should I say? What should I say? After stammering for a long time, I finally spoke.

“Are… are you okay?”

You damn idiot. Asking if she’s okay after all that. Okay about what? I wanted to smash my own mouth right then and there. Meanwhile, Namgung Bi-ah nodded upon hearing my question.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re… okay?”

“Yeah.”

Her eyes, looking at me, were as clear as ever.

“I was… always okay….”

“…”

“It was… you who wasn’t.”

I was speechless. I had nothing to say. Because it was the truth. Yeah, I wasn’t ready. It was a fact I knew. But still, even so.

“Saying things like that so casually…”

Her nonchalant delivery was strange, and as I tried to voice it, I shut my mouth again. It was because I belatedly noticed Namgung Bi-ah’s appearance. I looked closer at Namgung Bi-ah’s face, which had seemed so serene. Her usually snow-white skin seemed slightly flushed, and as I focused, her pupils were trembling. Especially her ears, hidden behind her hair, looked like they would burst with redness any second.

“…”

“So that’s how it is. She wasn’t unfazed after all. Namgung Bi-ah had been holding back her embarrassment when she spoke. Realizing that.”

Thump. Thump. Thump… thump… thump-thump….

My heart started beating faster and faster, like crazy. A pink droplet landed with a ‘tok’ in my blank mind. It instantly swallowed the white, dyeing everything pink. My mind became hazy. What is this? What was I trying to do? Why did this conversation even start? What was I even trying to say to Namgung Bi-ah in the first place? I couldn’t remember anything. All I saw now were Namgung Bi-ah’s slightly flushed cheeks and her blue eyes looking at me.

What answer should I give here? No. Why am I even thinking about this? It was the same with Tang Soyeol, and it’s the same now. Why am I agonizing over this? Isn’t there no need to? What was the reason I was agonizing in the first place? I couldn’t even remember that.

Just.

I just moved my hand. It was to caress Namgung Bi-ah’s cheek. What would happen next? I didn’t know that either. Right now, I was just moving according to instinct. And just as my hand was about to touch her cheek.

“What are you doing?”

“!”

The interrupting voice snapped me back to reality. I turned my head. Wi Seol-ah was staring at me, her eyes narrowed.

“Right now, what are you doing?”

“Huh? No… um…”

I was so entranced that I didn’t even notice Wi Seol-ah approaching. As a result, I felt a sudden flush of heat.

‘What was I trying to do just now?’

What was I about to do? The heat rising in my body crept up to my ears. If I’m not mistaken, my ears were probably as red as Namgung Bi-ah’s. The problem is, this isn’t the time for that.

‘I need to explain first.’

Let’s explain this situation to Wi Seol-ah. As I thought that and tried to speak.

“Well…”

“I’m asking you.”

“Huh?”

Wi Seol-ah wasn’t looking at me.

“Unnie.”

She spoke while glaring at Namgung Bi-ah, and Namgung Bi-ah was busy avoiding her gaze. Apparently displeased with Namgung Bi-ah’s reaction, Wi Seol-ah frowned and said.

“This is different from our promise.”

Promise?

“We agreed to endure together, so what is this?”

Endure? The situation was developing strangely.

“Wait a minute, what is that…”

“I’m asking what you’re slyly trying to do here.”

“No, what are you talking about…”

“Gongja-nim, please stay quiet!”

“Uh, yeah.”

I obediently shut my mouth. How long had it been since Wi Seol-ah yelled at me? It was almost unheard of. This meant that Wi Seol-ah was furious.

“Unnie…”

“Sorry…”

“So Yeol Unnie… told us she didn’t like situations like this and didn’t want to be petty, but using that is too much….”

“…”

Namgung Bi-ah looked like she couldn’t say anything even if she had ten mouths.

‘What did Tang Soyeol tell them…?’ My confusion only deepened. What situation is this?

“And besides, at the very least… if you’re going to make a surprise move, shouldn’t you do it when Moyong So-jeo is around?”

“Yeah…”

Namgung Bi-ah became more and more crumpled. Had Wi Seol-ah ever cornered Namgung Bi-ah like this before? Not in my memory, at least.

“Hey girls…? Calm down for a moment… and maybe explain it to me…?”

“Gongja-nim, could you please step outside for a moment?”

“Huh?”

“I’m asking you… We have something to discuss amongst ourselves.”

It’s an expulsion order. Are they telling me to leave now? In this situation? Wi Seol-ah seemed quite earnest when she said it. What could possibly make her so desperate? Flustered, I looked at Namgung Bi-ah. She slightly avoided my gaze. It was like… she looked like a sinner. What on earth is going on…? I was intensely curious about both the previous situation and the current one.

“Um…”

Given the current atmosphere, I didn’t think asking would yield anything, so I awkwardly got up. For now, I stepped outside.

As soon as I stepped out, I saw a familiar face.

“Oh? Are you coming out now?”

Tang Soyeol greeted me with a smile. It seemed Tang Soyeol was about to go in just then.

“They told me to come out from inside.”

“Huh? Who? Unnie?”

“No…”

“Then Seol-ah?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my, why would she do that?”

“Tell me about it…”

I was genuinely curious too. Moreover, I hadn’t calmed down yet because of what happened with Namgung Bi-ah. I placed my hand on my chest; my heart was still pounding.

‘…If Wi Seol-ah hadn’t shown up back then.’

What would have happened?

“…”

Feeling the heat, I ran my hand through my hair. It was dangerous. Truly dangerous.

‘I almost got devoured whole.’

I definitely wouldn’t have held back. I thought I had been holding back well until now, but that wasn’t the case.

‘…It wasn’t me holding back.’

Was it the girls holding back? When Namgung Bi-ah took a stance and tried to seduce me, I lost my composure. Was that even seduction in the first place? I wouldn’t know unless I’d been seduced like that before, damn it. No, to be precise, I had been seduced plenty. It’s just that.

‘I just beheaded anyone who unnecessarily took a stance.’

In my past life, that’s how it was. Whether it was a spy sent by the righteous sects, or a crazy bitch among the demonic cultivators. Anyone who approached me with a pretty face, I killed them on the spot. Because of that, rumors like ‘The Black Flame Demon Emperor actually enjoys male lovers’ and other bullshit spread. ‘I wanted to find and kill whoever spread those rumors, somehow.’ I never found them. That’s my one regret. If there’s one thing that bothers me. ‘It’s that the bullshit rumor claimed the one who spread it was none other than the Divine Sword.’ It wasn’t even funny. It was absolutely baseless. Why would the Divine Sword do such a thing? They said it had some credibility, but I didn’t believe it at all. After all, it was that ‘Divine Sword’. Even though I felt like shit, thanks to those rumors, schemes involving beautiful women stopped coming my way. Which was good, because I didn’t have to go around killing unnecessarily.

Of course, when the rumors were rampant, Cheonma even asked me about it. ‘He asked if it was true, I think.’ The way he said it with a slight smile was obviously meant to tease me. In short, it meant it was a damn rumor.

Anyway….

I had a certain immunity to these kinds of dirty temptations, but temptations of this particular type were a bit overwhelming for me. Even though they were both temptations, they felt different. That’s probably why I couldn’t keep my composure.

“Did something happen?”

“Well…”

Just as I was about to explain the recent situation to Tang Soyeol. Wi Seol-ah’s words suddenly came to mind.

“The girls were saying… you told them something.”

“Huh? Told them what?”

“They said you told them you didn’t like the situation?”

“The situation…? Ah! Ah, maybe it’s that?”

Tang Soyeol snapped her fingers as if something occurred to her upon hearing my words.

“The girls knew so little, so I gave them some sex education. Could that be it?”

“You… gave them what?”

“Sex education.”

“…”

Hearing that, the sense of dissonance in my head completely disappeared.

‘I was wondering who taught them.’

So it was you, the culprit. I tried to ignore my throbbing headache.

“How… how did it come to that?”

“Rather than how… it’s because the two of them lacked so much knowledge. Even if they only swung swords, it’s a bit much not to know anything by that age.”

“…”

It was such a valid point that I had nothing to say. It was true. Considering their age, they should have known already. If they weren’t martial artists, it wouldn’t be strange if they already had several children. However.

“Then, what did you mean by telling them because you didn’t want to be petty?”

Wi Seol-ah had clearly said that Tang Soyeol told them because she didn’t want to be petty. Hearing that, Tang Soyeol’s eyes widened slightly. Her expression suggested she hadn’t expected me to bring this up too. Then, she awkwardly scratched her cheek.

“No, well… it’s just…”

Tang Soyeol, hesitating whether to say it or not, finally sighed and spoke.

“It felt a bit petty….”

“Petty?”

“I just didn’t want to fight someone who didn’t even know that. It hurts my pride.”

“Fight? Fight what?”

“We have to compete over who gets to pounce on Gongja-nim first. It’s too disadvantageous without information, right? So I told them.”

“Ah, I see, so that’s what they’re fighting over… What did you say?”

I tried to accept it, but then scrunched up my face.

…Pounce?

“Hehe.”

“Don’t just laugh it off. Answer me properly. What do you mean, pounce?”

“But honestly… this is largely Gongja-nim’s fault.”

“Why is that suddenly my fault…?”

Hearing me, Tang Soyeol frowned her delicate brows and said.

“Watching you, you react, but you don’t seem to have any intention of making the first move. And if I just wait idly, it feels like I’ll have to wait until the very end. So there’s only one way, right?”

Tang Soyeol tucked her hair behind her ear and added.

“You have to pounce first, then.”

“…”

It was an incredibly brazen statement.

“So, we made an agreement amongst ourselves.”

An agreement…? As soon as I heard that, I raised my hand.

“I’m having a hard time keeping up with the situation right now. This agreement you’re talking about, surely it’s not…”

“It’s exactly what you’re thinking. We agreed on who would pounce on Gongja-nim first. Or rather, who would be pounced upon.”

“Are you crazy?”

“You’re half right. And if we are crazy, it’s because Gongja-nim drove us crazy, so it’s not our fault.”

They were so brazenly shameless that I couldn’t say anything. My mouth hung open in stunned silence; that was the best reaction I could muster.

“Anyway, we reached that agreement amongst ourselves. Whoever wins the competition gets priority.”

“But… why are you deciding that without my consent?”

“Don’t you like it? If you don’t, please tell me.”

“No, regardless of whether I like it or not…”

“Gongja-nim won’t dislike it.”

“I haven’t finished answering yet.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it? Because Gongja-nim won’t let anyone go.”

“…”

She hit the nail on the head. Tang Soyeol’s eyes were full of conviction, making it impossible for me to deny.

“We all know. We know that Gongja-nim can’t choose just one person and won’t be satisfied until they’re all embraced.”

“Do I look that shameless?”

“If not anything else, your possessiveness is quite strong.”

“You don’t hesitate at all in your answers, do you?”

“We know there are things Gongja-nim can’t say to us. We know you’re holding back because something is at stake. But you know.”

Tang Soyeol looked at me intently. Her light green eyes curved like crescent moons.

“We won’t hold back just because you do. From now on, Gongja-nim, you hold back. We’re tired of holding back, so we won’t anymore.”

“You…”

“Ah, don’t worry. We did agree amongst the three of us to wait until we get back if we’re going to do something. Otherwise, the remaining one would be pitiful, wouldn’t they?”

The remaining one. I didn’t need to ask who it was.

Ah, so that’s why.

‘That’s why Wi Seol-ah…?’

Was this the reason she scolded me, saying we agreed to endure together? Realizing that much, I couldn’t react or even think. I didn’t know how to react to this.

Just then.

“So.”

Tang Soyeol poked my chest with her finger and then brushed past me. As she passed by, her characteristic woody scent grazed me.

“Be prepared when we get back. Because we’re serious.”

“…”

“Just letting you know.”

Tang Soyeol went straight into the infirmary. I had to stand there for a long time. Be prepared, she said.

“…”

If that happens, could I really endure it? Thinking that, I let out a sigh.

‘Endure my ass.’

Running my hand through my hair, I finally admitted it. That I too had reached my limit.