Chapter 863: Ilcheonkyo.

Memories surface.

Most of them are memories from my past life.

Events right after Mother left. I saw myself slowly breaking down.

Me, smashing and throwing things. My appearance, tormenting the servants.

That damn period when I’d scream over nothing.

Someone worrying about me. Me back then, seeing even my own affection as malice.

Someone was watching me from afar as I broke down day by day.

‘Father?’

Whether he was about to cry or get angry. Father watched me from a distance as I sat curled up, withering away. When could this memory be from? I don’t know. Frankly, it’s hard to even call it my memory.

Because I didn’t even know I had memories like these.

Then, is it an illusion? That would have been the logical conclusion, but it didn’t feel like it.

So, is this truly a memory? A memory I don’t know?

‘Why?’

Why is it surfacing now? I can’t understand.

And.

‘Why is he making that kind of face?’

Why is Father looking at me with those eyes? He always looked at me with the same expressionless face, but something is different.

What kind of eyes are those?

Disgust, or contempt? I thought Father’s gaze back then was solely that, but these eyes were different. Worry seeped into those indifferent, expressionless pupils.

Worry? Father is worried about me?

Father, observing me from a distance without approaching. His hands and feet moved slightly. It seemed like he was contemplating whether to approach.

After staring for a long while, Father squeezed his eyes shut and turned away.

Why?

Why couldn’t he approach and turned back? Why did Father make that expression?

I don’t understand anything.

Then. The scene I was watching suddenly changed.

When was that? Judging by his age, he looks similar to how he does now. Ah, I see. I think I get it.

It must have been shortly after I became the Young Master.

-You still haven’t come to your senses. How long do you plan to live like that?

Father wore an expression that seemed unusually angry.

Why was he so angry? I know the timing, but I don’t know the situation.

That’s understandable, considering how often things like that happened right after I became the Young Master.

At his words, I pouted and said,

-Why? Are you deciding to care now?

Even I thought my expression was incredibly rude. How could I make a face like that?

What’s worse, it was before I shed my skin like now, so my face was even uglier.

-Why are you trying to do something you never do? Just leave me be, as usual.

-…

Father, who had been angry, seemed speechless at my words and didn’t say anything else.

Perhaps, I was terrified inside at that time.

The reason I was still lashing out was probably because I had a lot pent up, too.

Of course, even so.

-If you’re trying to play the father now, belatedly, I don’t need it.

I can’t say that idiotic attitude was right.

I was a moron.

-…

Father didn’t say anything. After glaring at each other for a while.

-…Get out.

The order to leave was given.

-As punishment, you’re confined until you leave for Hanam.

-Yes. I shall.

Ending the conversation like an argument, I slammed the door and left.

What on earth did I do wrong? What kind of wrongdoing earned me confinement?

I couldn’t recall many specific actions.

All I knew now was…

That after I left, Father pressed his forehead and let out a quiet sigh.

And that his expression felt somehow familiar.

‘Why….’

Why does this keep showing itself?

The scene changed once more.

This time, it was a day when rain was drizzling down.

My heart sank. I knew immediately what kind of day it was.

Father, collapsed and bleeding. The wrinkles that suddenly appeared from aging rapidly and his hair turned white.

Even his eyes, whose original red color was slowly fading.

That was the time.

The day I killed Father with my own hands.

The final conversation with Father, whose breath was growing shallow.

This is definitely a memory from that time.

-I forgive you.

The day he said he forgave me for trying to make him kill me with his own hands.

-Live.

Even Father’s final breath, commanding such a pathetic son to please live.

It’s a memory I don’t want to see.

It was so devastating and disgusting that I wanted to erase it forever if possible.

If I could intervene, I wanted to rush over and destroy that guy.

[You haven’t escaped this moment.]

I remembered what Gu Yeom Hwa Ryun Gong said.

I think I understood. I was still stuck in that moment from that day.

The weather, rainy and chillingly somber.

Inside it, Father’s lips, breathing out puffs of air, slowly closed.

His life was fading away.

I sank to my knees, quietly watching Father like that.

And Father was watching me.

My eyes widened as I watched the scene.

Perhaps it was because I saw the memory from when I was young.

I realized it belatedly.

‘…His eyes.’

From when I first started seeing these memories, up until now.

Father’s eyes looking at me are the same.

Contempt and anger. And I thought they were filled only with disgust. Father’s pupils, just like the first time, were tinged with worry.

Why would he worry about me? Why doesn’t he despise or hate me?

Does that mean he never hated me in the first place?

My head spins. If my past life was truly like that.

‘Then what about now?’

What is Father’s gaze like now?

What were his eyes like when he looked at me?

Thinking about it, I realized.

Ah, I’ve never properly met Father’s eyes, neither in my past life nor this one.

That’s why I can’t know if he really looked at me with those kinds of eyes.

My stomach churns.

At the same time, I recall.

Was it that I didn’t know this? Or was it that I didn’t try to know?

‘…It must have been the latter.’

It certainly was.

[I hate you.]

I understood the flame’s words.

I hated myself too.

[Why are you alive?]

I wanted to ask myself. Why am I alive?

Just because I wanted to live. That was my answer, but it felt weak to say it was only for that reason.

Even knowing that, I have to live. No, I had to live.

Why? I had pondered the flame’s question countless times, but… For some reason, I think I know now.

-Live.

Father’s words settled in my heart.

-Live for me.

-Live on.

-You shall live.

Above those, the words spoken to me when I was broken also settled.

Everyone spoke them in different voices, different tones, spitting out the same meaning.

Why are those words resurfacing now?

It felt as if they were telling me the reason I am alive.

Narrow-minded and petty.

Me, recalling their words only now and trying to use them as a reason.

I was so petty and insignificant.

Is it okay to be like this?

I don’t know.

More than that right now, I just…

I suddenly missed Father.

As I thought that, my obscured vision cleared.

---

Woo-oong.

My eyes were blurry, and my ears were muffled.

I heard a cacophony of tinnitus. Should I say all five senses were blocked? It felt stifling.

However, as if it were only momentary, my senses returned very slowly.

First came the sense of smell. I felt a scent, as if my blocked nose had cleared.

A dry scent mixed with dust. Within it, an unknown floral scent was mingled.

What is this? Why am I smelling flowers?

Just as I found it strange due to the incomprehensible foreignness, my sense of touch returned.

It’s stuffy. It felt like something was binding my body.

What is this now? Why is it so stifling?

Though I couldn’t see, as I tried to move my body somehow, my vision returned as if by magic.

It was blurry at first, but like the others, it slowly sharpened.

Only then could I understand.

Why my body felt so bound and stuffy… It was because I was actually tied up.

Not with ropes or anything, but I was bound by people’s hands and bodies.

‘…So that’s what the dust and flower scent was.’

The foreign scent made sense now.

The dust was natural, given the space. The floral scent came from those binding me.

The first thing I saw was the top of a head.

White hair and blonde hair were tangled together.

Naturally, it was Namgung Bi-ah and Wi Seol-ah, and the two of them were holding me tightly.

From the slight vibrations, I could tell they were trembling.

Watching them quietly, I asked,

“…What are you two doing?”

Hchm-!

At my words, both their bodies trembled violently.

Then, the blonde-haired one. Wi Seol-ah carefully lifted her head from burying it in my chest.

Our eyes met, and this time, I was the one surprised.

Her face was a mess.

Her face was filled with terror, her eyes were bloodshot, and tear tracks covered her cheeks.

“…You?”

Why are you like this? Just as I was about to ask that.

“H-huk…”

“Crazy…?”

Wi Seol-ah suddenly burst into tears upon seeing me. And she wasn’t just crying; tears were streaming down her face.

“Wha, hey…!”

This was the first time. I had ever seen Wi Seol-ah cry like this.

Flustered, I tried to do something, but…

Kkuk.

My body was still held and wouldn’t move. Fortunately, Wi Seol-ah had relaxed her grip, but Namgung Bi-ah was still holding on tight.

Moreover, the strength she exerted was much greater than before.

“What’s wrong…?”

Why are you crying?

“Huuuhuhuhuh…”

This was a total disaster.

Now she was crying out loud. What should I do about this? I feel like I need to comfort her at least.

Since my body won’t move, I can’t comfort her or anything.

Should I break free? Then I need to exert strength…

Hwa-reureuk-!

“Huh?”

“Huuung…Eot!”

“…!”

As I thought about how to break free, a change occurred in my body.

My body passed right through their hands.

As naturally as if brushing through empty air.

Suddenly losing their balance, the girls collapsed.

I lowered my head and examined my hands.

Hwa-reureuk-.

My hands had become flames.

Not just my hands. Though my body looked intact, I knew.

That if I wished, I could convert this entire body into flames right now.

I don’t know how this is possible, but I could sense it instinctively.

‘…I touched it.’

This, I definitely touched it.

A name obtainable only upon reaching the very end of a profound technique.

Great Accomplishment (Daeseong).

I was now at the very end of Gu Yeom Hwa Ryun Gong.

There’s no way I could have this sensation otherwise.

‘How?’

How did I suddenly reach Great Accomplishment?

I had grasped the end of the sensation, but I hadn’t even properly held onto it, let alone made it my own.

‘…No way.’

‘Is it because of what just happened?’

Gu Yeom Hwa Ryun Gong, which had taken my form. Was it thanks to winning the battle against that guy?

It seemed right. Nothing else came to mind.

The problem is.

“What’s wrong with this now?”

Not just my body, but the flames had changed too.

Hwa-reureuk–!!

The shimmering flames blooming from my hands.

They weren’t the black flames born from demonic energy (magi)… Nor the blue flames obtained through shedding skin…

White (Baeksaek).

They were flames of an overwhelmingly brilliant white.