Chapter 623: Choice and Decision.

Tak-!

The smell of burning tickled the tip of my nose.

It was a place that likely held no memory of its original appearance.

Having burned completely and then burned again, it had long since lost its original form.

One couldn’t possibly imagine its past appearance.

It was a world of nothing but blackened, scorched ashes and embers still burning.

‘What a mess this is.’

I let out a small chuckle watching it.

Not just any place, but my own mind, no less.

The fact that the world had become this way… meant my insides were just as rotten and burning.

‘Idiot.’

After all that effort trying to live properly.

My insides had ended up like this.

I lowered my gaze.

Beneath the burning world. A space barely clinging to its place.

I saw a child trembling, barely holding back a border made of flames.

With a small frame, they looked utterly terrified.

[Heeu-geu-geu… heeu-eu-eu….]

Damn it.

What a damn memory this is.

“Hey.”

[…Heeu-eu-eu…?]

At my call, the child lifted their head.

With sharply slanted eyes, they had a face that looked quite fierce for a child.

“Look at that face.”

With a face like that, they’d be told they looked fierce their whole life.

“Haaah…”

I sighed and looked at the child.

“What’s with that look? So pathetic.”

[Please save me… Please save me…!]

The child’s hand reached out to me.

Kku-uk.

I felt a hand gripping my pant leg.

[Please, please save me…!]

“…”

[I miss my mom… Please….]

It was a desperate voice.

A small, clear voice yearning to survive somehow.

When was that?

‘When I made a voice like that.’

I tried hard to recall, but there was nothing.

‘Nothing.’

Not once.

Not even once.

Right after Mother disappeared, I never made a sound like that.

So.

“Are you just going to cry endlessly here?”

[Heeu-eu-eu… heeu-eu….]

“Shut up.”

[…! ]

Hearing my words, the child stopped crying abruptly.

“Don’t cry. Shut up. You’re being loud.”

[Kkeu-eup… eu-eup….]

“Crying now is a disadvantage. Your life is screwed from here on out.”

There will be countless days to cry.

You have to hold it in, endure it again and again, so why cry here?

[Um-maaaa….]

The kid finally couldn’t hold back and burst into tears.

Watching that, I let out an even deeper sigh.

“You don’t have a mom, kid.”

[…!]

Oops. That sounded like a slip of the tongue.

She wasn’t exactly gone.

However.

“You probably won’t see her for… roughly… another thirty years?”

Including the previous life, it was about that much.

I was trying to find her.

But at this point, it was practically…

“Practically non-existent.”

[Hwa-a-a-ang!]

“You’re too loud. Should I just hit you?”

[Heeu-eu-eu….]

I bent my legs to meet the child’s eyes.

“Did you want to live?”

[Heeu-eu… eu….]

“I thought I didn’t, but you did?”

That life had no meaning.

I lived thinking that way.

Living as if it didn’t matter if I died right then, yet…

“It seems you weren’t like that.”

Why was this child screaming like this?

“Why do you want to live so badly?”

I couldn’t understand.

“Your life is hell.”

Still the Asura realm.

I tried not to live such a life, but here I was, back in the Asura realm.

“It’ll probably be even worse from now on.”

Tuk-! I looked at my hand, feeling something flowing.

“Hm?”

My palm was already stained red.

It was all blood, and droplets were falling from my fingertips.

This is regret.

Regret I’d tried hard to forget.

It was laughable. That it could even express something like this.

I raised that hand and showed it to the child.

“This is the life you’ll walk.”

[Heeu-eu….]

“I don’t even remember how many people I’ve killed.”

And.

I probably won’t remember them in the future either.

I killed countless numbers.

Because it’s countless, I won’t remember.

“Should I have done that?”

This was a question I asked myself.

“Did I really have to do it that way?”

Because the child before me was afraid. Because my world was burning away like this.

It was a question directed at me.

‘You.’

Did you really have to live like that?

Of course, I wouldn’t get an answer.

Because I wouldn’t answer.

[Please save me….]

The child still wished for life.

[I want to live….]

“…”

Seeing this, a question arose.

Did I wish for life?

Maybe I did.

It comes to mind.

The time I first stood in the marketplace after regressing.

Unable to grasp the situation properly, I…

Feeling the crowds and the murmuring sounds, I had thought:

‘I craved sights like this.’

Like that.

The peaceful times.

Even if they were the shittiest times for me.

I had longed for those times.

That must be why I felt relieved.

‘That the scene I saw at the moment of death was that day.’

[Want some potato? ]

Because it was the moment I met that child.

Even if the life before that was hell.

That particular moment seemed to hold many meanings for me.

“But you know.”

Tuk.

With the hand dripping blood, I stroked the child’s cheek.

“I have to stop this now.”

[Hii… hii-ik….]

Feeling my touch, the child trembled in fear.

[Um… Um-maaaa….]

They started crying like a child.

Ah, they are just a child, after all.

‘To think I’d see myself cry.’

This is quite a unique experience.

Even if it’s just an illusion.

I continued speaking, looking at the trembling child.

“Someone kept saying that I shouldn’t have you around.”

[Heeu-eu-eu….]

Seuuk.

I moved the hand that was stroking their cheek.

The blood on it left a trail with my touch,

and I brought it straight to the child’s neck.

Kkwaak-!

I gripped it tightly.

[Heuk-!]

The child let out a groan.

Hesitation.

And stubbornness (Self-attachment).

That is this child’s name.

The hesitation that stops me from moving forward.

Several emotions I kept without bothering to exclude.

Among them.

“The most useless one to me.”

That’s how I defined it.

It was something I already knew.

“…And yet.”

The one I least wanted to lose.

This child was like that to me.

But.

“It seems too much to hold onto anymore.”

I can’t be stubborn any longer.

So I grabbed the child’s neck.

Deol-deol-deol-deol.

I felt trembling from the hand I held.

It was a sickeningly clear sensation.

“Actually…”

I said, looking at the child like that.

“I didn’t want to abandon you.”

This is a truth I’ve never spoken to anyone.

“I still feel that way. That’s how I feel.”

The moment I abandoned you.

“I would have to admit it.”

Leaving behind a normal life that held even a sliver of hope.

I had to leave the core of being human and become a dragon.

I had to accept that life.

I thought I had already decided to do so, but…

There was also a part of me that couldn’t.

I actually already knew.

“I am not human.”

It’s a fact I’ve known for a long time.

“And I won’t be in the future either.”

I know I can’t go back.

Though whether that was truly my choice remains a question.

“…But you know.”

Separate from that.

“Even knowing that, it wasn’t easy.”

It’s stubbornness.

I knew better than anyone what they call sheer pig-headedness.

Yet, I couldn’t let go.

Why?

Why, unable to do this simple thing,

Did my world have to rot to the point of becoming this black?

I don’t know why.

Is it simply because I didn’t want to become a dragon?

Admitting I’d become a dragon didn’t make me human.

I knew that well.

‘From the moment I decided to become a Demon Person (Majin).’

From the moment I let myself go to protect something.

It was something I realized long ago.

That it was too late to turn back.

‘Even knowing that.’

I definitely knew, yet I couldn’t.

Why?

I don’t even know myself.

Was being human that important?

What was so important that I agonized over it like this?

I don’t know.

But now wasn’t the time to ponder such reasons.

If I don’t let go of this stubbornness,

‘I won’t be able to move forward anymore.’

I can’t protect what I need to protect.

My life was always placed on a scale,

and it was always a series of choices.

I’d place the choices on the scale and pick the one that weighed more.

That’s how I’ve always lived,

and though it’s very late this time, I’m just doing the same thing.

“You… weighed less than the others. That’s all.”

Yes, that’s all.

[S-save me…! I, I don’t want to die! ]

I slowly tightened my grip on the child’s neck.

[I miss my mom…! Ah… Daaaad!! ]

I heard the child’s cries.

I had to ignore it.

I kill one inside.

What will change by doing this?

Can many things truly change with this action?

I didn’t know,

but I had to do it anyway.

Kkwaak-!

[Kkeu-eup….]

As I tightened my grip, despair filled the child’s eyes.

Tak-! Tak-!

The flames burning around us also began to move again.

As if trying to swallow the space I had barely kept clear.

“I’m sorry.”

That was all I could say while looking at the child.

“I don’t know if there will be a next time,”

this is the end with this child.

“Thank you. For everything up until now.”

And so.

Finishing my words, I tried to snap the child’s neck.

It was the natural order of things, as I had to finish it.

But.

Tak-!

Amidst the burning flames.

Tak-! Tak-!

I sensed something strange.

The sound of the embers that had been burning continuously

Tak… Tak-tak… Tak.

gradually began to slow down,

…Tak.

and at one point.

Not a sound could be heard.

“…?”

I stopped applying force, sensing something subtle.

I looked around.

Then I understood.

The flames dancing and burning everywhere had all stopped moving.

“What the?”

They were so noisy just moments ago,

what kind of phenomenon was this?

I was somewhat flustered, but I had no intention of stopping.

As I tried to push aside my confusion and resume my action,

“Huh?”

I turned my gaze back and widened my eyes.

The child I held in my hands had vanished.

I froze for a moment at the sudden situation,

Sa-rak.

“…!”

I realized there was something else before my eyes, not the child.

It was a leg.

I quickly lifted my head to look up,

and someone was standing before me.

[Heuk….]

And they were holding my younger self, the one I’d been looking at until just now.

What is this?

I had to frown, looking at this unexpected figure.

It was because I couldn’t see them clearly.

Their form was blurry, making them impossible to see properly.

What is this now…?

Ah, perhaps.

“Is it Bloodlust?”

Seeing as it appeared last time too, maybe Bloodlust had manifested in another strange form?

That’s what I thought as I asked, but…

“Hmm.”

I paused for a moment at the voice that reached me.

It was a woman’s voice.

Moreover, it sounded like a voice I’d heard somewhere before.

‘But.’

I can’t recall.

Whose voice was it?

I can’t remember.

Is this also Bloodlust’s trickery?

“What are you trying to do by appearing again this time-“

“As for me…”

While I was speaking,

my mouth shut tight at the woman’s voice.

Normally, I would have ignored it and spoken my mind,

but for some reason, I couldn’t do that.

“I hoped you wouldn’t make this choice. That’s why I couldn’t help but cling to my stubbornness.”

The calm voice inexplicably made a corner of my heart ache.

“Actually, I knew it too. Moreover, this was the setup I’d prepared all this time for this purpose.”

The woman hugged the child in her arms protectively, as if afraid they might cry.

“Due to greed, I kept postponing it. It seems that’s what hurt you.”

I’m shaken.

Her words, whatever they meant, kept shaking me inside.

“…Who… are you?”

It’s not Bloodlust. My ‘instinct’ told me so.

That woman is not Bloodlust.

Then who is she?

Could it be?

“The Divine Sword (Sin-geom)…?”

Back when I encountered the Heavenly Demon at the Divine Dragon Pavilion.

I had absorbed her energy after hearing Mother’s words.

This was something I needed to resolve when I met Mother someday.

Given that history, I wondered if the person appearing before me might be the Divine Sword.

“…Haha.”

The woman who heard me simply chuckled in a calm voice.

For some reason, that voice sounded incredibly sad.

“Similar. But no. I am not the child you wish for.”

The woman turned around and took a step back.

And then.

Hwa-a-a-ak–!!

“…Huh!?”

Starting from the woman’s feet, the world filled with ashes began to change.

Sa-a-a-a–!

Green grass grew over the black world, winding around the area.

Trees that had rotted and lost their form came back to life, adding color.

The space where nothing existed transformed and changed,

until a small dwelling appeared beneath a world painted with autumn leaves.

This all happened in just a few seconds.

Deu-reu-reuk-! Tak-!

The sound of a watermill turning could be heard near the dwelling.

Jjaek-! Jjaek-jjaek-!

Birdsong echoed from the forest behind.

My insides had already rotted and festered,

and the result was the world I just saw, yet…

Where was this place now?

In the world that had suddenly changed.

[Heeu-eu….]

“That’s right.”

The woman calmly walked towards the dwelling, soothing the child.

She sat gracefully on the floor and then looked at me again.

Her gaze wasn’t clear.

Her body lines and features were blurry, so I couldn’t see her properly, but…

For some reason, I was certain she was looking at me.

“…Who are you? What’s your identity?”

I asked, looking at the woman.

Then the woman replied.

“I was once your heart.”

Dugeun.

My heart pounded at her words.

“I was also your eyes, ears, and legs. I was a sword, and also…”

The woman stroked the hair of the child she held.

“The entirety of one man and the mother of a child, but…”

Seu-reuk.

A single maple leaf fell onto the woman’s lap.

My gaze involuntarily followed it.

“Now, because you don’t remember me. Now….”

I felt the woman’s voice tremble slightly as she spoke.

“Nameless (Mu-myeong).”

As if she were afraid to say it.

“I think you can call me that.”

---

This is a few seconds after Gu Yangcheon asked for time.

The Palace Lord stood beside Gu Yangcheon, who had his eyes closed, watching over him.

It was because they judged that he needed time to think, having realized something.

“Hmm…”

Meanwhile, the Palace Lord slowly observed Gu Yangcheon.

The reason was simple.

The more I looked, the more they resembled each other.

That’s what I thought looking at Gu Yangcheon.

‘At first, they didn’t seem to resemble each other.’

They only shared a few distinctive traits.

In terms of appearance, I judged there were many differences.

Therefore, they weren’t direct blood relatives.

That’s what I thought, but…

The Palace Lord had to discard that thought after only two meetings.

I recalled Gu Yangcheon’s actions during our first meeting.

Gu Yangcheon’s question asking if he had done the same to his companions.

His angry outburst, saying he’d overturn everything if that were the case, resembled him from back then.

Although his actions and way of speaking were completely different.

If I had to be precise.

‘…He was scarier.’

Rather than Gu Yangcheon openly displaying his violence,

the one who suppressed that demeanor, enduring it all while crushing everything around him with sheer pressure, was scarier.

‘I wonder what he’s like now.’

He was already monstrous back then,

and seeing the state of his child, I think I already know.

That’s why I was even more curious.

‘I couldn’t even settle the score with him back then.’

I still haven’t settled the score with him.

It’s a shame.

In the Palace Lord’s view, only he could contend with me, but…

Now, it’s simply regrettable that he’s close to death.

‘If I ever get to see him again….’

I indulge in a brief fantasy,

but quickly erase it with a laugh.

I didn’t even have time for that now.

The Palace Lord looked at Gu Yangcheon once more.

Setting aside the fact that he was his child, the facts uncovered so far were astonishing.

‘Not only did he reach this level at this age,’

but he broke his own vessel and awakened as a dragon.

‘That means…’

He wasn’t meant to be human in the first place.

In that case…

‘Who could it be?’

The women who were beside him back then.

Whose child among them could it be?

There seemed to be quite a few, making accurate prediction difficult.

What’s certain, at least, is:

‘None of the women seemed lacking in appearance.’

If anything, they were outstanding.

I recall not a single one being subpar.

But then, how did this child of his turn out like this?

It was rather curious.

Just as I was pondering this question,

Woong.

“Hm?”

The Ice Jade (Bing-jeong) in front of me suddenly began emitting a faint light.

“…Huh?”

It was an anomaly with the Ice Jade.

The Palace Lord paused momentarily upon noticing this,

Hoo-ooh-ook—-!!

Simultaneously with the Ice Jade’s light,

the cold air circulating in the space surged and began to swirl around Gu Yangcheon.

It wasn’t as if the cold air approached Gu Yangcheon on its own.

It was as if…

Gu Yangcheon was drawing the cold air into himself.