Chapter 435: Regret (Regret)

Even as Tang Jemun-nim looked at me with a peculiar expression.

My eyes were fixed solely on the Poison Heaven Pill next to the white stone lump.

‘…Just how many are there?’

Even a rough count put the number over ten.

That much could, exaggerating slightly, buy and sell a mid-to-small sized aristocratic family.

Of course, it had to be. Especially since, by now, the Tang family couldn’t even produce this ancient divine pill.

The Poison Heaven Pill’s properties included something else besides the concentrated internal energy unique to divine pills.

And that was.

‘It’s said to cultivate resistance to poison.’

That taking the pill cultivates resistance to poison.

This is a recorded fact, so I can’t be entirely sure, but…

…that’s what was written.

A divine pill that grants immense internal energy just by consuming it, and even builds resistance to poison.

A legacy from the past that you couldn’t obtain even with a fortune today.

‘Poison Heaven Pill….’

It was rolling around right before my eyes.

And I could obtain it if I just passed this test or whatever it was.

‘Even if I get it, I can’t use it right away, though.’

My vessel is unstable, so absorbing the energy of a Poison Heaven Pill would obviously shatter me.

‘Even if I can’t eat it, I can share it.’

There were plenty of people around to give it to.

Even setting that aside, considering the value the Poison Heaven Pill held, I had to obtain it by any means necessary.

This applied to the white stone lump… no, the White Horse Stone as well.

Normally, when extracted from a demonic creature’s body, they lose their energy and color within days.

But the White Horse Stone is different.

Looking at it now, it hasn’t lost any color or luster, and it still holds its energy… seeing that…

‘I haven’t seen other White Horse Stones, so I can’t be certain, but…’

…I suspect it’s probably like that.

I thought, looking at the White Horse Stone placed in the center and the Poison Heaven Pill beside it.

‘Yeah, fuck… this is the real deal.’

I could feel my eyes welling up just looking at it.

‘Huin… are you crying?’

‘Yes… Tears of joy. Please don’t mind me.’

‘Ah… okay.’

The previous ‘Bigos’ I’d encountered flashed through my mind.

The first was the secret treasure of the Geumcheon Yeon family.

The second was probably the secret treasure of the Dragon God Pavilion.

Both times, rather than obtaining a fortuitous encounter, I only suffered shitty things.

‘…Now this feels worth living for. This is a fortuitous encounter.’

What else could be called a fortuitous encounter if not this?

That beggar-like Geumcheon Yeon family.

Come to think of it, both were Yeon Ilcheon’s secret treasures.

Bastard. Asshole.

Just because you’re a returner, does that make you anything? Trying to kill people, too.

And here I am, cleaning up the shit they left behind.

Resentment towards the previous returner was piling up inside my heart.

Tang Jemun-nim hasn’t even agreed to give it to me yet, but I already feel like the Poison Heaven Pill is mine.

‘Senior….’

‘Yes.’

‘May I perform a bow?’

‘…What?’

At my words, Tang Jemun-nim made a somewhat disgusted expression.

Seeing that, I immediately nodded, thinking I shouldn’t.

Yeah, that was a bit much.

‘I was just kidding.’

‘Huin… you resemble Shincheol in the strangest ways.’

‘That’s really unpleasant…?’

To resemble that old geezer with the horse mouth, of all people, makes me quite displeased.

Perhaps my words were amusing, as Tang Jemun-nim chuckled while covering her mouth.

So that woman can actually laugh.

She seemed so cold and detached, it was an unexpected sight. Perhaps because of that? I decided to casually ask something I found difficult to inquire about.

‘Senior.’

‘Yes.’

‘That… it’s not particularly important, but why did you place that next to the Poison Heaven Pill?’

‘?’

At my question, Tang Jemun-nim turned her head to look at the White Horse Stone.

‘Ah.’

Then, as if just noticing it, she clapped her hands.

‘It’s a display. This came from a demonic creature I caught. I intended to show it off if I saw Shincheol.’

‘…’

She told me that in a slightly raised voice.

It was an unexpectedly cute reason.

I thought there was some grand reason she put it there.

But it was just for showing off…

‘How absurd.’

I suppressed a laugh that threatened to escape.

‘That it came from a demonic creature she personally caught…’

Looking at the White Horse Stone, I recalled the Suryeong River.

The river formed there was apparently the aftermath of a Grade 100 demonic creature caught by Tang Jemun-nim.

‘Does that frail woman possess such power?’

A question flickered through my mind.

The deeds of heroes from the past.

And it was a thought that always occurred whenever I encountered them directly.

Each and every one of them seemed no less impressive than the current Three Venerables.

‘Just what…’

How strong were they?

And if they were that strong, why couldn’t they defeat a single Blood Demon?

It was a question that lingered unconsciously.

It was like… the difference between the stories of the past and the current flow of events.

The dissonance arising from that suddenly sparked doubt.

‘For now… the Poison Heaven Pill is more important than all this.’

The White Horse Stone had long since fallen in priority.

What could I do? Life is just like that.

Shyaaah…

‘You, be quiet.’

I pushed the head of the tactless Jeoksusa, who kept butting in, back in.

‘Huin.’

‘Yes, Senior.’

I snapped my head up at Tang Jemun-nim’s voice.

Seeing my posture, Tang Jemun-nim wore a strange expression.

‘…Your attitude seems a bit different from before… Am I mistaken?’

Asking if my attitude has changed?

Of course.

Unlike those people who promised fortuitous encounters and gave me shit, she’s giving me something genuinely valuable.

If I had to bow, I could bow a hundred times more.

Since when have I been so proud?

‘If someone starving is given food, they become the master and the god.’

It was a life philosophy learned through sheer hardship.

Leaving Tang Jemun-nim, with whom I felt a slight distance, I asked what I wanted to know.

‘Please tell me, Senior. How does one take this test?’

‘…’

She said I had to take a test to obtain that Poison Heaven Pill.

I could do it right away.

‘Wasn’t it said this test was prepared for Shin Noyah?’

If it truly was for him, I wondered why such a troublesome thing as a test was prepared, but…

‘This must also be part of the plan.’

There must be a reason for it.

If there’s one thing bothering me in this situation.

‘…Is it okay for me to take all of Noyah’s fortuitous encounters?’

If most of the fortuitous encounters I’ve obtained so far were ultimately prepared for Shin Noyah.

I wondered if it was okay for me to devour them all.

Noyah said it was fine, so it should be okay, but…

‘It just feels wrong.’

It must be due to a self-reproach I can’t quite explain.

Of course, even so, I couldn’t just not do it.

To prepare for the Blood Calamity, I decided to do everything without holding back.

It was a situation where I had to devour everything, regardless of whether it was someone else’s fortuitous encounter or not.

I don’t have much time.

I reminded myself of that once again.

‘Besides… Noyah wouldn’t have been able to obtain this fortuitous encounter anyway.’

If their wish had succeeded, with Noyah reincarnating or possessing someone to reappear on this land, it might have been better to leave the fortuitous encounters untouched, but…

Based on my past life’s experience, there was no record of someone like Shin Noyah ever appearing.

This means…

‘Their plan failed.’

Whatever they planned, it failed.

Therefore…

‘I’ll obtain it and clean up that mess along with it.’

Wouldn’t it be convenient to just catch the Heavenly Demon and the Blood Demon while I’m at it?

For reference, these were words Noyah said to me.

He suggested doing it together while preventing the Blood Calamity.

At the time, I thought it was utter bullshit.

But looking back now, it seems like the necessary course of action.

‘That old man, wasn’t he actually anticipating all this?’

I wondered if Shin Noyah knew things would turn out this way.

That thought crossed my mind.

Just then.

‘Before we begin the test…’

Tang Jemun-nim brought something up.

‘There’s something I want to ask Huin.’

‘Yes.’

Something she wants to ask me?

What could it be?

The moment I looked at Tang Jemun-nim with questioning eyes.

‘Have you ever regretted anything?’

‘Yes…?’

It was a completely out-of-the-blue question.

And at the same time, it dug into my vulnerabilities.

Regretted something? Me?

‘As if I haven’t.’

It was a ridiculous question.

My entire life was regret, so how could I not have regretted things?

‘I have. To the point of being sick of it.’

I shouldn’t have lived like that.

I shouldn’t have done that.

I shouldn’t have said that.

I shouldn’t have left you behind. I shouldn’t have done that under the guise of doing it for you.

Though I only recalled it briefly, countless regrets without clear subjects surged up.

Looking at my expression, Tang Jemun-nim’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

I wondered what my expression looked like now to cause that.

Unfortunately, there was no way to confirm.

After a brief silence, Tang Jemun-nim continued speaking.

‘…Have you ever thought about overcoming that regret?’

‘Overcoming regret?’

At Tang Jemun-nim’s words, I let out an involuntary snort.

It was a clear scoff. That was a mistake.

I quickly lowered the corners of my mouth and carefully spoke.

‘…I don’t think regret is something to be overcome.’

‘Then?’

‘It’s something you must contain and carry with you. That’s how I see regret.’

‘…’

Regret is like lingering attachment.

Because one lives looking at the past rather than the present, regret continues to strangle you.

Overcoming it?

No. That’s absurd.

You just carry it with you.

Because I know it’s a memory that can never be forgotten.

I simply recall that time and keep moving forward without rest.

‘Is this conversation part of the test?’

That was the only thought in my head.

I tried to suppress my swirling thoughts and looked at Tang Jemun-nim.

‘…Huh?’

I confirmed Tang Jemun-nim’s face and widened my eyes.

For some reason, she had sad eyes.

‘…So, Huin, are you properly moving forward while carrying your regret?’

At Tang Jemun-nim’s words, I was about to immediately answer ‘yes.’

But.

‘…’

I couldn’t answer.

Because I knew too well that an immediate affirmation would be a lie.

This, I absolutely could not answer.

Tang Jemun-nim’s expression, watching me, grew deeper.

Then, she spoke to me in a somewhat heavy voice.

‘Now, I will begin the test…’

At those words, I focused intently.

It seemed like a rather sudden start, but I was glad if it meant starting sooner.

I focused because I didn’t know what would pop out.

As I observed Tang Jemun-nim, maintaining my tension, she spoke to me in a calm voice.

‘The test Huin will undergo has neither success nor failure.’

‘Huh? What does that mean…?’

No success or failure?

Then how will they judge whether I pass or fail?

‘By the time the test concludes, whatever thoughts Huin comes to hold. It doesn’t matter what they are.’

‘Senior?’

Tang Jemun-nim was spewing incomprehensible words.

Hearing that, anxiety began to sprout within me.

The end result of situations where someone starts spouting such random nonsense is usually…

‘…me getting screwed.’

With that chilling thought, I tried to call out to Tang Jemun-nim urgently, but…

‘I merely hope that you choose a different path than mine.’

Tang Jemun-nim finished speaking and reached her hand out towards me.

At that moment.

Kwadadadaduk-!

‘What?!’

The surrounding space began to distort.

Fuck, I knew this would happen…!

Though I tried to hastily escape the sudden situation, the cracks were already affecting everything, including me.

Beyond my blurring vision, Tang Jemun-nim’s voice reached me.

‘…Even if it’s later…’

A hint of laughter remained in her voice.

Or perhaps sadness? Or maybe longing?

Since I don’t know Tang Jemun-nim well, it was difficult to distinguish.

‘If you see Shincheol, please deliver my message.’

I tried to respond somehow, but I couldn’t produce any sound.

Within the crushing space.

Only Tang Jemun-nim’s voice echoed.

‘I missed you. Really… I missed you so much. And… I…’

The words filled with longing couldn’t be finished.

The cracks grew stronger, and my consciousness, unable to withstand the pressure beyond its limits, snapped.

And when I opened my eyes again…

‘Huk…!’

I was lying in the center of an unknown pit.