Chapter 431: Lake of Regret.

When the banquet ended, the night was already deep.

A full moon hung in the sky, and I was slowly walking along the Tang family’s promenade.

Woohyuk said the banquet food was delicious and that he wanted to eat more.

Cheoljiseon seemed to feel the same way, so I left them behind and just came out.

“Hoo.”

Tonight was unusually bright.

Lanterns (燈) hung here and there, illuminating the street.

Because the full moon hanging overhead was shining exceptionally brightly.

Completely the opposite of how I felt.

The world still seemed bright.

With eyes sunk deep in darkness, I surveyed my surroundings and quietly opened my mouth.

“Where is Baekryeon Geom?”

At my question, Dangdeok, who had been following at a distance, lifted his head.

“-He’s drinking, I heard.”

“As expected, I knew it.”

It seemed just like that old lady. I let out a small laugh and started walking again.

“Go back to your room and wait quietly. I’ll be walking for a bit.”

“…”

Dangdeok glared at me at my command, but soon enough, he started walking.

Keeping that guy around here for too long would be a problem in itself.

Right after confirming Dangdeok had disappeared, I paused for a moment.

I ran a hand over my body.

And then I remembered.

About the death Shinui had spoken of.

‘Death.’

‘He said my vessel had reached its limit.’

‘No wonder.’

I wondered why the headaches and mood swings I’d been feeling lately were so severe; it seemed this was the reason.

My body’s balance was increasingly becoming distorted, and the effects were gradually spreading.

Tuapacheonmu was correcting my body and inducing artificial metamorphosis.

If metamorphosis occurs, the original vessel should also grow larger, but…

Can I really keep up with the speed at which it’s breaking?

Moreover, he said the more I increased my energy, the faster the vessel would break. Practicing itself is a dangerous state.

Paejon said that at this rate, I would reach that level within twenty years.

Metamorphosis within just twenty years of learning martial arts.

This was truly an incredible speed.

However, the time I had left was said to be ten years.

He said it might even last until I’m forty, so maybe there’s more than twenty years left, but…

Even so, it’s best to assume ten years.

What are the chances of achieving metamorphosis within that time?

Furthermore, with the Blood Calamity looming, can I even choose the path of accumulating cultivation?

I don’t think so.

‘Ten years.’

I repeated the thought with a mind gone cold.

How much time was left until the war?

The flow was accelerated by a few years, so I need to calculate that too.

I’ll probably need to adjust my future plans a bit.

Are there any ways to gather more power?

I also had to find hidden treasuries across the country containing inner cores or precious artifacts.

After building up more strength, I also needed to shake up the Murim Alliance once.

I’ll set all that within five years.

Then, for the remaining five years, I’ll have to think about the war.

“Haha.”

As I thought about it, I suddenly burst out laughing.

Plans are always this precise, yet accidents tend to happen in unexpected places.

Everything won’t go as planned.

My death was like that, too.

“This isn’t good.”

I wasn’t afraid of death.

I had thought this might happen someday.

I knew that constantly meddling with foreseen events would eventually cause problems like this.

Even though I knew all this, now that it’s upon me, so many thoughts arise.

‘Shinui said he wouldn’t give me the medicine, didn’t he?’

If I need Shinui’s medicine to last ten years, does that mean I could die tomorrow without it?

Maybe not tomorrow, but perhaps a year.

Or shorter, like half a year, or even a month.

It’s not bad.

That doesn’t mean I welcome death.

‘Meeting Shinui here.’

That’s the reason it’s not bad.

Paejon probably didn’t know about the abnormality in my body either.

He’s a martial artist, not a physician.

He certainly wouldn’t have known about the vessel’s problem.

If he had known, he wouldn’t have pushed me to train so recklessly…

‘…No, knowing him, he might have done it anyway.’

Given that crazy guy’s personality, it’s possible, but I don’t think so.

This is a fortunate encounter.

Meeting Shinui here was coincidence, and Shinui figuring out my body’s issue was a fortunate encounter.

Furthermore, realizing that he could create a medicine to extend my life from the brink of death was also a fortunate encounter.

Didn’t he say he wouldn’t give me the medicine?

Judging by his eyes, he meant it, and he certainly won’t yield easily.

It didn’t matter.

As my mind cooled down, my gaze grew colder.

Despite Shinui’s sharp words and rough attitude, he has a deep heart.

I could tell just by how he acted after seeing me for the first time in years.

Not only that.

‘You have too great a weakness, Shinui.’

He clearly had a weakness.

Je galhyeok.

From the time I spent with him in Gugwa, I could discern one thing.

The reason he wanders throughout the Central Plains is because of Je galhyeok.

I don’t know the exact reason, but I was certain of this.

So, what is his purpose in doing so?

I don’t know that well either, but I had a few guesses, and most of these guesses involved Shinui’s weaknesses.

Even if not, going further…

Je galhyeok himself was Shinui’s weakness.

It wouldn’t be too difficult for me to exploit that.

“…”

I felt surprisingly cold-blooded just recalling these things one by one.

Is it because Je galhyeok will play a significant role in the Blood Calamity later?

‘No.’

It’s not.

It’s simply because Shinui or Je galhyeok aren’t that important to me.

The mindset that I can discard them anytime.

That dirty, heavy feeling made me want to vomit.

Suppressing my self-loathing, I moved my legs.

Sabak.

I took a step.

And I thought.

Then, what is important?

Is my death important?

That’s not it either.

I didn’t have much attachment to this life.

It’s been that way since I regressed.

A second chance? A chance for what?

A chance to atone for the things I caused with my own hands in my past life?

‘Haha….’

It’s futile.

Even if I tried to atone for what I did in my past life now, could it truly be called atonement?

It would just be self-satisfaction.

Just a delusion that I’ve repaid my sins.

Then.

Why do I try to cling to life, even though I don’t desire this current one?

I didn’t need to ponder this for long.

Because I already knew the reason.

“Young Master?”

“…”

Someone spoke in a surprised voice, looking at me.

It was Wi Seol-ah.

Why is Wi Seol-ah here?

As I thought that and looked around, I realized I had arrived at the lodging where Wi Seol-ah was staying.

If Wi Seol-ah is here…

I turned my head slightly to the side.

Namgung Bi-ah was also sitting next to her, looking at me.

They were staying in the same place, weren’t they?

Namgung Bi-ah watched me, who had appeared out of nowhere, then her eyes widened, and she approached.

Wi Seol-ah did the same.

“…Young Master? Is something wrong…?”

The two approached and looked at my face, their expressions filled with concern.

Seeing that, I smiled bitterly.

It seems I’m not very good at managing my expressions.

They’re all showing through.

I wish these things didn’t show.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“…Liar.”

Namgung Bi-ah looked completely unconvinced by my words.

But I couldn’t help it.

‘Did I just end up here while walking?’

I mean, I just walked and walked unconsciously, heading here instinctively.

It sounds ridiculous, like something a dog would do.

Namgung Bi-ah and Wi Seol-ah, seeing my condition, seemed to sense something was wrong.

Then again, it’s natural for them to react like this when I suddenly appeared.

What should I say?

I pondered for a moment.

Nothing specific came to mind.

So, for now, I decided to just blurt out my honest feelings.

“I just wanted to see you.”

“…!”

“So I came by for a moment.”

Because I suddenly missed them.

It seems that’s all I could say right now.

I moved a little closer to the two, whose eyes widened in surprise.

It was strangely amusing to see them frozen like statues.

Chuckling at their reaction, I reached out.

Seureuk.

“…!”

Ah…!

Tentatively, yet somewhat firmly, I pulled them into a hug.

I felt a brief resistance, but they quickly relaxed and came into my embrace.

Their hair rustled, tickling the tip of my nose.

The faint scent of their skin allowed me to set down the heavy burden in my heart, just a little.

If I had hugged them suddenly, they probably would have exclaimed in surprise, but…

The two said nothing.

Were they that surprised?

Just as I started feeling apologetic…

Seureuk.

I felt hands gently stroking my back. It seemed they thought comforting me was more important than scolding me.

Feeling that, I closed my eyes.

‘They’re small.’

I could feel the bodies of the two embraced within my arms.

Thin and small.

Their contained energy was so potent, yet they themselves were small and delicate.

Even while receiving this unprompted comfort from them, my mind remained complicated.

The reason I persist in this dull life.

I thought about it.

‘Ah….’

And then I remembered.

The peace and tranquility that Cheonghaeilgeom spoke of.

I recalled the wrinkled eyes of the old man who asked me where my tranquility lay.

I also recalled the answer I couldn’t give back then.

‘Perhaps this is my tranquility.’

May peace be upon those who died for me.

May the lives of those I hold now be peaceful going forward.

A life for those who burned their lives for me, even if they weren’t embraced like this.

If it’s a life for that purpose, then this life is enough.

Ten years, wasn’t it?

I will end the Blood Calamity within that time.

Even if I can’t, I will.

I just need to get it done somehow.

I discarded the option of giving up long ago.

For that, I can give up anything.

I can become anything.

Kkuuk.

I hugged them tighter, burying my face in their shoulder.

And I thought.

‘I can do it.’

I will not break.

I repeated that endlessly.

---

The next day, as soon as morning came, I encountered the Poison King.

“I apologize for the early hour, Tang Family Head-nim.”

Others were just starting their morning training around this time.

Around the time they probably hadn’t even had breakfast properly.

Seeing me show up unannounced, the Poison King furrowed his brow.

Seeing that, I said with a slight smile.

“The lake I mentioned before. Can I see it now?”