I’ve Become an Onahole, But I’ll Still Climb The Tower – Chapter 82
by admin21st Floor: The Attack
I didn’t eavesdrop on their conversation, knowing that a Sword Master-level man might notice.
However, the Emperor had a wide smile on his face as he left the room, and Irene seemed fine, considering what she had gone through yesterday.
“Peachina, look at this! It’s supposed to protect me!”
It was a necklace with a built-in shield spell. It seemed the Emperor had given it to her as a last gift.
‘He does love his daughter, at least.’
And from that day on, Irene started listening to me very well.
“Lady Irene, you should rest at home today. Invite anyone you want and have fun.”
My words, which she would normally have refused.
“Okay! I will!”
She listened so well.
‘What’s this about? Is she plotting something?’
She listened to me without question, to the point where I suspected something was up. Perhaps the casino incident had been a bigger shock than I thought, as she couldn’t sleep alone and called for me at bedtime.
‘This isn’t so bad.’
Most of all, I enjoyed being able to feel Irene’s curvy body without guilt.
Whether it was because we were both women, or because my chest reminded her of her mother, Irene always mumbled in her sleep while touching my chest or burying her face in it.
Naturally, when she touched me, I touched her back. Irene’s body was soft and supple, as she didn’t exercise.
I later found out during my investigation that Irene’s mother had passed away early.
Moreover, Irene’s mother had no other children besides Irene, so she was quite lonely…
While Irene was quietly confined to the palace, I began my full-scale investigation.
I gathered various information, such as the political situation between the countries of the continent, the history of the Imperial Family, and the succession structure.
I searched for books in the library and bribed maids and fellow knights to hear about the current state of the Empire.
‘Well, it’s better than when I searched the office on the first day.’
The clues I gathered little by little fit together like a puzzle.
The result was astonishing.
The Arcadia Empire.
It didn’t seem like it, but they were preparing for war.
The current Emperor, Hellaion, known as the Iron-Blooded, had been slowly preparing for war for decades.
At first, I doubted it, but after considering various conditions, there was no other explanation.
It had been 30 years since peace had come to the continent.
It was almost forgotten now, but there was an old story about how the current Emperor had lost his mother, wife, and comrades to the soldiers of the Kingdom Alliance.
According to a maid whose brother was a knight, the number of knights had been increasing over the past few years, and they were always complaining about how the training was so intense and realistic, even in a peaceful situation.
In peaceful times, military spending should gradually decrease, but the fact that the number of knights being recruited each year was increasing shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Also, I learned something while drinking with a knight who worked in the Imperial Palace and was the son of a high-ranking military officer.
I boosted his ego and praised the greatness of the Imperial military, and he immediately confessed.
‘I didn’t know I would have to use my feminine wiles.’
To be honest, I didn’t sleep with him, but I did give him a flirty smile.
But the information I got from him was worth it.
The current troop deployment map showed that a huge number of troops were stationed where the rear warp gate was installed.
[How stable is our Empire’s defense system? All standby troops can go to the front line in just one day! Hehe…]
The fact that all troops could go to defend meant that all troops could go to attack.
‘The fact that a country with an activated warp gate is showing these movements clearly means a total war. A short-term total war that attacks in an instant.’
Before the mobilization order was issued and the knights and ordinary farmers of the vassals were conscripted, they seemed determined to destroy at least one country with just the knights and regular army. In the past, in other trials in my previous life, I had seen invasions using warp gates several times.
And decisively…
‘There’s no way it would be this peaceful if I entered a trial.’
It couldn’t just end with thugs in the market or illegal gamblers.
The borders of neighboring countries were very low due to the Continental Integration Academy and international marriages, and our military was very strong.
‘This is 100 percent going to happen.’
I felt a chill at the Emperor’s meticulous plan.
The problem was the timing.
‘Wouldn’t it be okay not to send Irene off as a bride?’
If they were going to attack anyway, why bother…?
The Emperor had a total of seven children, five of whom were currently in international marriages with neighboring countries. Of course, Irene was the first to go to another country, as they were all sons.
‘Is he so full of anger that he’s sacrificing his children?’
Nothing was certain yet.
About a week remained after the general investigation was completed.
“Lady Irene, let’s learn swordsmanship.”
It was a bit sudden, but I had wanted to make her do it at least once since I fell here.
“Me…?”
She seemed a little doubtful, but she didn’t refuse my words and followed me like a good child, wearing training clothes and holding a wooden sword.
“Still, the political situation is turbulent these days, so you should have at least one move to protect yourself, right?”
“Turbulent…? When has it ever been as peaceful as it is these days~”
As expected, Irene hadn’t heard anything from the Emperor.
“Anyway, let’s follow along.”
Very basic swordsmanship.
No, it wasn’t even swordsmanship, just a simple downward slash.
Swish!
Swish!
“…?”
‘Did I see wrong?’
Swish!
Swish!
I repeated it again, but she followed along in the same way.
There was no hesitation or unnecessary movement in her sword. It was a straight and accurate downward slash, like a veteran swordsman who had swung a sword tens of thousands of times.
It was perfect and beautiful enough to grasp everything in a single downward slash.
“Um… Lady Irene? Have you ever learned swordsmanship before?”
“Huh? No? This is the first time I’ve ever swung a sword this close!”
She was smiling brightly, trampling on the decades of effort of all swordsmen.
‘A prodigy… She was a woman with truly unbelievable talent.’
She didn’t just become a transcendent by gaining stats through sex.
From the beginning, she was a born person who could rise to that height.
“Ahem… Let’s learn basic swordsmanship… no, even cool swordsmanship in a week!”
“Yay~! I want to do something cool too!”
She answered energetically at the word “cool swordsmanship,” her eyes sparkling.
As expected, even though she still slept with me because of what happened, she was still an innocent noble lady.
A week passed like that.
During that time, Irene had only trained for less than three days due to various events and parties.
Even then, she could barely do it because of muscle pain.
But even so, she had changed. She might not be a knight, but she would be able to subdue an ordinary soldier without difficulty.
‘It’s finally starting.’
She began to move, receiving the blessings of countless imperial citizens.
Including maids and guards, there were about 200 people in total.
All of them worked in or assisted Irene’s palace.
Dozens of carriages began to move.
These carriages would pass through the warp gate twice and head to the Kingdom of Luxendark in the southeastern part of the Empire.
‘Now it begins.’
The problem was that I hadn’t found anyone behind the attempt to kill Irene yet.
‘The most likely scenario is that a war will break out and we’ll get caught up in it…’
Moreover, the biggest problem was that I didn’t know when or how the war would break out.
Was what I did for two weeks really the best I could do?
Even after thinking about it, I couldn’t come up with a clear answer.
Once we started moving, it would be difficult to prepare, no matter what I did.
Should I tell them about the war and delay the march?
Well… wouldn’t the Emperor’s Imperial Guard try to arrest me for leaking state secrets?
As one of the viewers said, it would be easier to clear the mission if I just kidnapped Irene and lived with her.
Of course, there would be several problems, but at least I could clear the mission.
Nevertheless, I chose this path.
I was simply curious about what Irene had gone through in the past, but I was confident in my strength if we got caught up in the war, so I trusted myself and made my choice.
After being treated by Count Howard, who was located near the border, we went outside the castle.
There were no signs of war yet. The soldiers and maids were laughing and chatting, and Irene couldn’t hide her excitement and kept talking like she did on the first day.
But even so, I had to take at least minimal precautions.
I approached the old knight Caron, who was in charge of this march.
“Sir Caron, I have intelligence that state overthrowers will attack this journey.”
I gave him false information. Although the information itself was false, I was 100 percent sure that something would happen.
“What are you talking about? Why do you know about such news and I haven’t been informed?”
“This is a story I heard personally from a friend in the Imperial Intelligence Department. The higher-ups probably didn’t want to cause confusion on such a good day with uncertain information, but my friend said it was almost certain.”
“Hmm… It’s not that I don’t trust you, but the Intelligence Department wouldn’t hide such precautions for no reason. Don’t worry and be faithful to your mission.”
“……”
I wondered if I should persuade him more, but well… I didn’t think it would make much of a difference even if I did.
The combat force here was 10 knights and about 50 ordinary soldiers.
They were elite soldiers, but if they got caught up in a war with this much, they couldn’t do anything but run away.
Even the surroundings were all plains and meadows, so it was difficult to prepare for anything.
“Ah, wait.”
“Yes?”
“If, by any chance, a battle breaks out, your top priority is to evacuate the Princess. Don’t even think about fighting with us.”
Old Knight Caron.
He was a knight who was about to retire after this was over.
He had seen the Princess since she was born, so he was practically like a grandfather to Irene in the Princess’s Palace.
“Ah… I understand. I’ll do that.”
The night of the second day outside.
The thing I was worried about happened on the first day of camping after crossing the border.
‘Something’s coming…’
I instinctively woke up.
When agility stats increase, detection skills automatically develop.
‘What is it…?’
What I was sensing was right above the sky.
“Crazy!”
I jumped up and ran out of the tent, holding Irene, who was fast asleep, by the waist.
As soon as I got out, a large fireball fell on the tent we were in.
KWA-AAAAANG!!!
Not only the tent we were in.
Large fireballs were falling from all directions.
The surroundings became as bright as day, and people who had rushed out in shock at the explosion screamed in panic.
Tents were burning, and people on fire were screaming and running around.
“P, Peachina… What on earth is going on…”
It didn’t end there.
Dududududu……
The sound of warhorses’ hooves began to be heard.
‘This is a disaster…’
I expected assassins to come, but my expectations were spectacularly wrong. It wasn’t assassins, it was an army.
“Peachina! What are you doing! Evacuate the Princess quickly!!”
“Sir Caron?”
“Everyone gather around!! Buy time for the Princess to evacuate!!!”
Caron’s loud voice, filled with mana, echoed, and the survivors began to gather one by one.
And the sound of the cavalry’s hooves grew louder and louder.
‘Shit…’
“Peachina!! Hurry up and evacuate the Princess!!”
“N, no… I can’t abandon these people here…!”
The opinions of Commander Caron and Irene were divided.
Cavalrymen charging under the moonlight, kicking up dust.
At least hundreds of cavalrymen were charging.
The distance was right in front of us. There was no time to hesitate.
I hugged Irene.
It was obvious that Irene was the target.
No matter how good I was, it was impossible to protect Irene and fight among the cavalrymen running around in all directions.
Even the enemy’s strength was completely unknown.
I quickly picked up Irene, carried her, and ran to where the horses were tied.
“Riding…”
“I, I can’t!”
I found the strongest-looking horse, hugged Irene facing me, and got on the horse.
The entrance to the camp had already been swept away by the cavalry.
“A, no! Peachina, let me down!”
Everyone who was moving with Irene now were all Irene’s people.
Maids, nannies, guards… all faces she had known since she was young.
“It’s too late…”
I heard Caron’s voice from behind.
“Everyone block this place!! Prevent them from passing!!! You must protect the Princess!”
The surviving maids and soldiers risked their lives to create obstacles in the path.
But there wasn’t enough time.
They created obstacles while their hands were bleeding and burning, but before they were all completed, the cavalrymen overwhelmed them.
“Everyone block them! Protect the Princess…”
Swish!
Commander Caron’s head flew into the sky.
“Ah ah… Uncle Caron!! No way…”
Soldiers and maids charged at the cavalrymen with their bare bodies.
They willingly threw their bodies to slow down the cavalrymen even a little.
They fought against the ferocious cavalry with pieces of wood.
“Don’t go to Irene-nim!!”
Renia, the exclusive maid.
Hendel, the strawberry cake chef.
Guards Ren and Hans.
Delia, the nanny who had raised her since she was a child.
Swish, thud!!!
“Ah… A, a, a… Why!!”
Irene’s precious memories were trampled and killed by the cavalrymen.
They were hit by horses, cut by swords, and blood splattered.
They died to buy Irene even a second to escape.
The cavalrymen wearing black hoods seemed to have only one purpose: annihilation. They stabbed even those who surrendered or fell with spears to confirm their kills.
“W, what suddenly happened… My… my friends…”
Friends.
Even if it wasn’t for others. To the kind and innocent Irene, they were all friends.
That’s why she brought them all without exception, and today they were all dying without exception.
“Irene-nim. Now is not the time to worry about others!”
Whoosh…! Kwaaang!!!
I barely avoided the fireball flying over my head by turning the horse’s reins.
“Kyaaaaaaack!!”
Puhhihihiing!!!
The horse and Irene screamed.
Yes, it would have been fine if only wizards had come.
[Haste]
[Iron Body]
[Strength]
Whether there was a priest among them, they were chasing after us, casting buffs in a wide area.
‘Are they even buffing the crazy horse?’
I wanted to buff our horse too, but unfortunately, my buff could only be given through sexual intercourse.
I’m really sorry, but the people in the camp didn’t even buy us time.
The cavalrymen were right behind me. Dark horses were closely following behind the horse, which was already struggling to run with two people on it.
“Quietly hand over the Princess!!”
I knocked away the spear that was stabbing at my waist, and my spear pierced the guy’s neck.
“Nothing special…”
If it wasn’t for Irene, I could have wiped out these weaklings all by myself.
‘First, I’ll evacuate. I need to move Irene to a safe place and find a place to fight with my back to it.’
I ran away while dealing with the guys who were following me.
TN: The author is having some creative block so we might have less chapters.
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