episode_0066

21. Pandora for a New World (2)

When I said Gaia’s name, several memories replayed in my head.

The image of waking up in a dark room, watching a harmonious family from afar, and the image of a woman left alone and lonely after everyone has left.

And the memories that were being played out ended with the image of the two of them spending time together with that woman.

” Oh my…! What the… is this…! No!!! My… memory… is not!!! ”

Even as I flailed my arms and turned my body, I was overcome with fear as the memories that came to mind began to blur who I was.

So I sat there motionless, holding my head in my hands, trying to remember who I was and what I was doing.

Nothing came to mind, and instead, I just closed my eyes, feeling refreshed.

” Charlotte!!! ”

Someone is calling ‘me’. But is it really ‘me’?

Who was ‘I’ in the first place?

As I thought that, I slowly closed my eyes again… The moment I was about to close my eyes! I opened my eyes to the feeling of something soft and warm wrapping around me and hugging my head.

There she was.

” Charlotte, wake up! ”

” Pa…truna…? ”

” Yes! It’s me! With you…! ”

” Me… How… Ugh… ”

My head starts to hurt and feels ‘throbbing’.

” Let go. Patruna…! Again… you… ”

” It’s okay…! Just wait a minute! ”

As she placed her hand on my forehead, the throbbing headache gradually began to go away.

But at the same time, her hands begin to turn black and scaly.

” Patruna…! Hand…! ”

” Hoo, it’s okay. You know? I’m the goddess of love and purification. This is nothing… nothing. ”

” I’m sorry. I… I…! ”

The moment I was about to apologize to her, I felt a tap on my forehead and looked at her again.

” Don’t make me tell you it’s not your fault. It’s… my fault. ”

After some time in her arms, I slowly regained my composure and began to have a proper conversation with her again in a clearer state.

” So, Charlotte, how much of your past memories are coming to mind right now? ”

” I don’t remember anything else… except that I was a man. ”

” Is that so? Haa, Thanatos’ power has already… made it like that. ”

” Is it really… because of the power of the evil spirit? ”

I know I shouldn’t doubt her. But a god with the power to change my body. It’s not like they couldn’t manipulate my memories.

It’s not… low… that they got rid of it themselves and blamed it on an evil spirit.

” Charlotte, I swear I have never touched your memory. Rather, I… tried to protect your memory. ”

” What does that mean? ”

” First, let me go back to the story we talked about earlier and explain it properly from the beginning. ”

*****

The first purpose of our gods was to gather the dead deities of Gaia and recreate Gaia once again.

At first, her divinity was gathering quite smoothly, but gradually, rather than gathering, it began to disappear.

The reason for this is that I recently learned through Gabriel’s story that Thanatos’ hand was already reaching out to the tower.

So, I changed direction to the second plan I had… creating a new god.

Actually, this plan… I hoped it wouldn’t come to fruition.

That’s why I was so against you going to Earth, because the plan was originally set for you to return to Earth.

But since there was someone who wanted to return to Earth, the gods decided to take out insurance through you.

That is why, in order to create a pure body, the body that was already contaminated by the fight against the evil god Thanatos was destroyed and a new body was created.

Moreover, because it was a body created based on the divinity of Gaia, it became a female body.

And your important memories of your past… were supposed to disappear originally.

For a pure body, there had to be no foreign substances.

But I figured you needed that memory at least to remain you.

Because I thought that if the second plan didn’t work out, you would be compensated by living a new life, since you would just have a changed body and still be the same person.

This is the truth I wanted to tell you.

*****

After hearing Patruna’s story, I just looked at her and then quickly left her arms and bowed my head.

” Ha… haha… So, why did Thanatos give me his protection? Why on earth?! ”

” That… we didn’t expect that either. Your body is already asleep with all the remaining divine protections. So we thought you couldn’t receive any more… protections, but still… ”

” Do you have any guesses…? ”

” The power of Thanatos comes from the power of minus, or simply negative emotions. And the emotion that brings out that to the max is… ‘love’. ”

” Huh?! ”

” The heart that loves and likes someone. However, when it is broken or shaken, the waves it sends out… can bring out the power of Thanatos to its fullest.

That’s why I’m Thanatos’ natural enemy, and Thanatos is my natural enemy. ”

” So… that means… I… ”

” Yes, since Charlotte loved my brother, Thanatos took advantage of that gap and planted his seed. ”

” Oh, that… is that… a guide? ”

” Me? Why? ”

” Well, that… That guy named Orabeoni is like me… A woman who was a man… A real woman… Not a woman. ”

” No way~ Rather, how much effort did you put into making it like that… ”

” Hey…! Wait a minute, what did you just say?! ”

” Ahem, anyway, I won’t be shaken by Thanatos’ power anymore, so don’t worry about that. ”

The truth about me was so shocking.

Even my return to Earth was just insurance to the gods for their plans.

I just wanted to return to Earth, but even that… was changed by the hands of the gods.

As a result, I became a woman and almost lost all my memories, but fortunately, Patruna seemed to have prevented it somehow.

Wait? So… my memory loss just now… is it because of Thanatos’ power…

” So my memory disappeared…? ”

” Yes. Of course, it’s because of Thanatos’ power. The seed was planted, but in order for it to grow and settle into your body, you had to get rid of the unnecessary.

I’m really sorry. I should have predicted that behavior and stopped it… ”

” Is it impossible to recover memories? ”

” Unfortunately, that’s not possible. If it was something we had lost, I would have kept it. But Thanatos wouldn’t care about that…

I can just tell you the information you need right now, because I remember it to some extent. ”

That made me feel a little better. It’s a shame that there’s no way to get my memories back…

” Do you have any more questions? ”

” First of all, you really were… Hyunseok’s younger brother… ”

” Yes, that’s right. The timeline is a bit different, but he’s my brother’s younger brother. ”

” Then why did you make me in your image? You could have just made me in Gaia’s image. ”

” That’s… That… I was wondering if my brother still remembered me, and since it came to this, I wanted to see a girl who looked like me date my brother. ”

Yeah, it seems like it’s true that the goddess I served was crazy, just like Yeonseo said.

No matter how much you like your own older brother, you must be crazy to try to satisfy yourself vicariously with someone made in your image.

” You’re not being too… rude, are you? ”

” Well, what do you mean my body isn’t fully formed yet? ”

” Originally, Charlotte’s body was planned to be completed in three stages.

The first is to use Durandal to smoothly utilize the divine power, the power of the gods, and gradually become more familiar with it.

The second is to recreate a little bit of divinity through the Hauteclair that you will soon obtain.

The last one… You’ll find out when you get there. For now… I don’t think I need to tell you. ”

” Are you hiding it again? ”

” No! It’s just that the last step… depends on Charlotte’s choice. So I don’t want to burden you from now on. Trust me. ”

I could feel her sincerity towards me in her expression and actions.

My body has three stages of growth, so it’s not like I’m some evolving robot or a hero transformation form that I wear when I go somewhere…

I had a rough idea of what the final step would be through the first and second.

If my guess is correct… it will definitely be an important step in how I choose, just like she said.

” Phew, okay. I’ll believe you. ”

” Thank you, Charlotte! Thank you so much! ”

As I watch her holding my hand and shaking it up and down, my head, which had been angry at the gods, slowly cools down.

Yeah, so what if it ended up like this? I have to do what I can to save the world.

” Then, what I need to do first is to conquer the tower and store the remaining Gaia’s divinity in my body, right? ”

” Yes, and since the demons that have been influenced by the evil spirits also have some divine power, it would be good to catch those guys too. ”

” Okay, is it true that when the top counter is full, the surrounding area disappears? ”

” I checked and it’s true. However, I think I’ve seen the Earth properly with Charlotte, so this is probably the first time I’ve seen it. However… ”

” Any problem? ”

” I just couldn’t figure out how it disappeared. I knew the tower collapsed, but I couldn’t confirm anything after that because of the evil spirit’s influence. ”

” I see. Oh! Now that I think about it, it’s about the conditions for my body’s growth. ”

” Ah~ That’s nothing special. Just hang out with your brother. ”

” Oh, yes. ”

Well, it looks like Yeonseo’s guess was correct…

‘ So… I and Hyunseok… From now on… ‘

As I was rubbing my heated cheeks with both hands to cool them down, Patruna came up to me from behind, hugged me, and said.

” My brother may have some shortcomings, but please love him a lot. That way, he can see his nephew soon! ”

” Pa…Patruna?! That…thing! ”

” Hehe, just kidding. Oh, but I might miss my nephew… ”

” Ugh…! Okay! I want to go back! ”

I returned to reality after seeing Patruna seeing me off with a smile.

I thought I was just the Earth that returned according to the contract with her, but underneath it all, I was already the insurance planned by the gods.

I laughed it off while talking to her, but honestly, I think it was because it was so shocking that I showed that kind of behavior.

How long can I be myself?

And if I can’t be myself, what choices should Hyunseok and I make?

It was so painful to know that the more I learned, the more I had to ask myself questions.

I have a headache because I can’t tell anyone this truth, and it’s hard to believe it, and I can’t afford to lose time trying to save this world.

If I had known this would happen, I should not have returned as Patruna said.

But since I met him when I returned, the thought that I shouldn’t have returned gradually disappeared and I began to look forward to spending time with him, whom I loved so much.

Because that’s the best I can do when I’m me.