The Phantom Thief Becomes Cute and Lovable (1)

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“Ah, hot…ugh…”

“Did you burn yourself? I’ll get some ice.”

“No, no. It’s not that bad, I’m fine.”

To burn my hand on the espresso machine… I must have dozed off for a moment after not getting enough sleep, having evaded pursuit until four in the morning.

Miwol thought I had burned myself badly, but it was just a slight touch on my finger, and thanks to the hot, stinging sensation, my mind, which had been hazy, cleared up as if awakened.

“Really… Sunbae-nim, you’re the manager, so managing your condition is important. If I weren’t here, you wouldn’t even have opened on time, would you?”

“Ha, haha… Sorry. I was watching a soccer game at dawn…”

I ran like hell from the mansion to the Slums, swung across rooftops with a wire gun, scattering money, and finally, only after my last resort, the camouflage cloak, was tattered, did I manage to shake off the pursuit.

Well… I stole it to give money to the people in the outskirts… The nobles had amassed money through illicit means, and I took it back (though I stole more than that) and returned it to its original owners, so the plan was a success… even if most of my equipment was broken.

The wire gun rope was cut by a laser, and the camouflage cloak was torn by bullets and spears, so infiltration seems out of the question for a while.

At least the storage cube, which can sweep up money, was safe, which is a relief. If I hadn’t had that, I wouldn’t have been able to carry all that money out, would I?

I’ve never stolen twice in such a short period before, but other nobles will likely strengthen their security, so I might have to rest for quite a while this time…

Phantom thieves who constantly use outlandish tricks to stun people before gracefully escaping on a hang glider, or phantom thieves with a sharpshooter companion who likes Marlboro Reds-those are all illusions. I have to do everything by myself, you know?

I need to fix my equipment too, so maybe I’ll rest for about two months…

“Oh… if it weren’t for me, you would’ve overslept today, wouldn’t you? You won’t find a junior who wakes you up every single day anywhere else.”

“That’s right~ If it weren’t for our junior-nim, it would’ve been a disaster, you know? There are so many mon… Klaus people who come for morning coffee. Thanks to you, I’m saved.”

“If you’re grateful, then don’t doze off while making coffee anymore. Got it?”

“Haha, ha… I’ll try.”

“It’s not ‘trying,’ it’s your junior-nim’s request.”

The reason I desperately fled from the monster’s mansion yesterday? Not just because I’d die if caught, but because I had a dinner date with Miwol, the cafe’s mascot!

Miwol said she’d treat, but who would let her? In a world where even paying Human Rights Fee is tough, why would she spend money? I absolutely can’t let her.

Hmm… should I ask her if there’s anyone she likes while we’re drinking? Even though it’s just monsters around, she might like someone.

[It has been confirmed that a Magical Girl has once again appeared and punished the 『Unaffiliated』. They show no mercy to the Unaffiliated appearing in various parts of the world, but reportedly cause no harm to Klaus. The Klaus Seven Stars have promised immense rewards if anyone succeeds in capturing a Magical Girl, who are said to be infinite.]

[News reports that around 0 AM today, Phantom Thief Lupin infiltrated Lord Donatella’s mansion, stole half of the warehouse’s contents, and gracefully escaped. Lupin is suspected of having stolen Klaus’s camouflage equipment. Recently, the number of Human Rights Fee tax evaders has been steadily decreasing, and money has been raining down in the city, suggesting the whereabouts of the money Lupin stole…]

“It seems the Phantom Thief-ssi stole again. It’s amazing they haven’t been caught once in several years…”

“Indeed… they’ve got guts.”

“Phantom Thief-ssi… I’m worried, couldn’t they just stop moving around-Sunbae-nim, are you listening? Why do you look so pleased?”

“Oh, nothing. Just something good happened yesterday.”

As for the Magical Girl talk… it’s always on, so I’ll pass. I don’t have any reason to meet politicians like the Seven Stars or monsters… I just hope Luna doesn’t get caught.

I initially opposed Miwol’s idea of installing a TV in the cafe… but it might be more effective than I thought.

Because it’s about me, after all. Even though most Clausin people view Phantom Thief Lupin with disdain, it seems to have created a good image among the general public.

Even if nobles fine humans, I just have to take it back and return it. Plus, I took out money to give to tax evaders and money to scatter for distraction… How would they know whose money this is? If they don’t like it, they should record all the serial numbers.

Anyway, the cafe was full of monsters talking about the Phantom Thief and Magical Girls, so there was never a dull moment.

Among the office workers, fans of Magical Girls and my fans would incessantly debate who was more attractive, turning it into an Arena. Or, some vulgar guys would burn with determination, saying they didn’t care about either, they’d just grab them, violate them, and become stronger. That’s mostly my daily routine…

To see monsters expressing their desire for rape as a daily occurrence… it’s a peaceful day, yet it feels like an invasion. Still, today is dinner with my cute junior-nim! Wasn’t it for this that I risked my life running around yesterday?!

If Miwol weren’t here, my world might have become gloomy and covered in moss. No, not just moss, but mold would have burst forth, wouldn’t it?

“It’s quitting timeee…!”

“You say that even though it’s your own company, it makes you sound like an office worker.”

“I am an office worker~ Hngh… Ugh… Let’s just turn off the TV and go.”

“Yes… As promised yesterday, the kind-hearted Miwol will treat you…”

[Lupin-? That petty thief is just a coward who only robs idiots’ houses.]

[Zero escaped prisoners! The fact that you’ve never come to the Tax Evader Containment Facility is proof of that, isn’t it! Hahahaha!!]

Just as I was about to turn off the lights and leave, the face of the monster serving as the Warden Gould of the Human Rights Fee Tax Evader Prison appeared on TV, mocking me with a phlegmy voice.

One of the Seven Stars from Planet Klaus, Gould. He was a bald monster with purple skin covering his entire body and a white beard, dressed in a guard’s uniform.

[Ha, I’m confident I won’t be robbed by a small rabbit like that! Lupin, are you watching the news? If you’re not scared, come visit right now~! Scared? Scaaared-?]

“He’s doing that again… Isn’t he childish?”

“It looks like the Phantom Thief is angry because he hasn’t come to the Prison.”

Yes. Aside from those who like the Phantom Thief, that’s the common reaction… but Gould seems to hold some grudge against me, always appearing on the news to pick a fight every time I do my phantom thief work.

He says it’s rude to visit without a notice, or that his Prison has not only gold and treasures but also high-concentration Magic Tanks, so I should definitely come and steal them, and that there are no traps so I can come without worry… Does he actually want me to come?

Of course, I won’t go. Why would I be crazy enough to raid a Seven Stars base? Going without a proper plan is practically suicide.

[Na-hahahahahaha!! Na-hahaha-

*Click*

“He laughs like that but never coughs… that’s a talent.”

I pressed the remote, blacking out the TV that showed the purple-skinned bald man, then locked the cafe door and walked the night streets with Miwol.

“…”

“…”

Hmm… usually when we finish work, I open the back door and go to the house connected to the cafe, and Miwol leaves through the front door, so we’ve never walked together like this before… It’s awkward.

Miwol, dressed in casual clothes instead of her staff uniform, looked even more beautiful than she did in the cafe, as if her appearance had leveled up.

Since it was summer, she wore an ivory overlock shirt that didn’t reveal her voluptuous figure and a modest pleated skirt the same color as her hair, but the subtle allure emanating from her made my face flush.

I thought she disliked clothes with a lot of fabric because she’s such a lively kid… but she became quiet once we were outside.

“Um… isn’t your salary enough?”

“Yes, yes! I’m fine! In fact, you give me so much that I wonder… Sunbae-nim, do you even have anything left?”

“I’m living by tightening my belt. Who knew coffee prices would become like gold?”

“That’s why I told you to sell my smile, didn’t I? Sales would be five times better than now.”

Miwol seemed to be just as nervous, and once she started talking a bit more, she moved closer to my side, just like her usual self.

How nice would it be if we could link arms or hold hands and walk, but we’re not at that stage yet… We’re junior and senior, manager and employee.

If I confessed and got rejected, it would be awkward from the next day… so I should be satisfied with this much.

In front of the pojangmacha, Miwol turned around at the door, facing me as if to block me from entering, just as I was about to open it and go in.

It was evening, and even if a cool breeze blew, it was still summer. As the wind died down and it started to get warmer, Miwol looked at me, revealing her flushed cheeks without trying to hide them.

“Um… Sunbae-nim.”

“Oh, yeah… Miwol.”

Wiggle… wiggle… As if nervous, she gently twirled her index fingers, then took a deep breath, and finally, as if having made up her mind, Miwol swallowed hard.

Her eyes, reflecting the streetlight, shone like black crystals. Her trembling lips parted, and she called my name.

“Sunbae-nim… your cute junior Miwol… has something she wants to say.”

So she knows she’s cute… I’ve never dated a woman before, but when a woman looks at a man with eyes full of courage… there can only be one reason.

*Gulp*

I was just as nervous. Miwol was about to say what I had intended to say.

“Um… ever since we first met at school, Sunbae-nim, I’ve…”

Just as my internal fantasies were wildly imagining us going from lovers to marriage, Miwol’s expression suddenly twisted.

“Why… why now, of all times… why…”

“Miwol?”

It wasn’t that my dark fantasies had shown on my face. It was a sudden, truly abrupt change.

“I’m sorry… I just remembered something I absolutely have to do today… Could we… have dinner another time…?”

I couldn’t say anything. I had never blamed Miwol for anything, and I didn’t want to direct criticism at a child who looked like she was about to cry.

She wasn’t bad enough to pull a stunt like this just to screw with me, nor was she the type to play aggressive pranks.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

Haa… it can’t be helped… It seems like something’s come up for her too, what’s the use of getting angry?

“Is the cafe mascot going to greet customers with a tear-stained face?”

“Sunbae-nim…”

One thousand won… In an era of insane prices, I wondered if this amount could even serve as money, but I didn’t want to think about that, and gently placed it into the hand of my junior, who was trembling as if about to cry.

“Just one smile, please.”

“Huh?”

She looked surprised, perhaps by the unfamiliar rustling sensation, but once she confirmed it was a blue banknote, her tearful gaze turned to me.

“I’m going to judge it. If you pass, I’ll put it on the menu.”

“S-suddenly?”

“A smile that makes those who see it happy. I’m the judge and the first customer, so please put your heart into it… Alright, begin.”

It doesn’t suit you.

Because it makes me sad too. Because I feel like I won’t be able to see your smiling face tomorrow.

Because Cafe Lapin’s mascot is always charming with a bright demeanor…

Miwol stared blankly at me, who was completely serious, and then, as if understanding my intention, a natural smile gradually formed on her face.

Yes… you’re pretty when you smile.

“Passed. See you tomorrow, Miwol. Sorry for holding you up when you’re busy.”

“Oh, no! On the contrary, it gave me strength!”

Before Miwol entered the alley, she looked at me with an expression that seemed even happier than her usual customer-service smile.

“Thank you, Sunbae-nim.”

….

That night, less than five minutes after Miwol left, an article was published reporting that Luna had subdued the Rogue Monsters before they could launch indiscriminate attacks and rampage.

For an idiot who had wildly imagined marriage, the heroic exploits of Luna, the hero he admired, were not enough to make his heart pound and change his current mood.

As I walked back to the cafe instead of going into the pojangmacha alone, my sighs wouldn’t stop.

“What kind of romance can I have when I don’t even properly understand a woman’s heart…”

*Clink*

As I turned my head at the sound of glass falling to the ground, I saw a woman lying on a pile of trash bags in the bustling street, wearing thin leather that barely covered her breasts and crotch, clutching a blue soju bottle as big as herself and rubbing it against her cheek.

“Ehehe… Haa… Alcohol good… Soju yummy…”

Judging by the horns and tail… she’s a Clausin. Given she looks similar to a human, she’s probably a Succubus. Let’s just pass by without drawing attention.

I want to pass by, but…

Wouldn’t it be rude for a man to not look at a body like that?

“Hm?”

Perhaps sensing my lewd gaze, the woman stood up and swayed her head, approaching me.

“Who are youuu…”

Ah, shit… Is she a noble, by any chance? Am I going to get sued for ‘gaze rape’ for nothing? It’s already tough enough paying Human Rights Fee… Should I run now?

If you’re a noble, wear something decent! Don’t wear something like a Succubus!!

“Hey there, little girrrl~ Are you aloneee~?”

“….”

“Got a girlfriennd…?”

“No.”

From a distance, I thought she was small… but as she stood up and came closer, she was a tall woman, about half a head taller than me… and her breasts were as enormous as water balloons, fully inflated, matching her height.

In contrast, her waist was slender, and her hips looked like they’d have a great grip if held with both hands… She was a woman who was sex itself just by moving.

So she really is a Succubus… They say monsters whose very existence is sex. The rumors weren’t wrong…

“Hiccup… Ah~ You broke up? Or got dumped?”

“I didn’t get dumped!! Get your face away! You smell like alcohol!!”

Whether she knew it or not… she grabbed my shoulder, rested her chin on it as if petting a puppy, and rubbed her head against me wildly.

Even though she had already drunk herself into a stupor, it wasn’t the typical smell of alcohol, but a sweet scent that was enough to make my head hazy, piercing my nostrils.

“Drink with me… huh? I’ll buy youuu… I came alone after work and the other six guys ignored my texts saying they were busy~ Do you know how lonely I ammm…? Ugh…!”

“Aaaahhh!! Get away! If you’re going to puke, do it away from me! Please!”

At that moment… I should have run away, even if it meant sprinting.

I didn’t know then that meeting this Succubus would be the starting point of my life spiraling into ruin.