Date (3)

“Have you decided what to buy yet, Lily?”

As soon as we entered the marketplace, Ethan bought a snack that looked like roasted potatoes topped with cheese and a seasonal watermelon juice to share before asking about today’s plans.

“Well, to be honest, I didn’t come with extremely detailed plans. Though I do have some general ideas.”

“How general are we talking?”

“First, I plan to secure ingredients that can be preserved as long as possible. If fresh meat seems cheap, I’ll stock up and have Sally help me smoke it. If there’s not much price difference, I’ll go for processed meats like sausages.

For carbs, I’ll buy biscuits or hardtack and supplement moisture from other ingredients. We can make sandwiches by putting juicy fruits like tomatoes between the bread, or soak them until they’re soft enough to eat with stew.

For vegetables, tomatoes are my top priority as I mentioned earlier, though it’s not finalized yet. If there’s nothing suitable for cooking, I can buy a few limes to use in dishes or eat as dessert.”

“…Isn’t that plenty of planning already?”

“I didn’t come with exact items in mind, so comparing options might take some time. Besides ingredients, we also need to buy camping gear.”

We could use the tent and utensils loaded in the Blackwood carriage, but disposable items needed restocking. Especially since we were heading to the Witch’s Forest, insect repellent perfume was essential.

Food ingredients also required careful selection-carrying perishables like meat and bread in this summer heat would just spread mold to other food. While Clean Magic could remove spoiled parts, anything rotten would have to be discarded anyway. And honestly, cooking with partially spoiled ingredients just felt icky.

“How about fondue if you’re making stew? Cheese is aged, so it doesn’t spoil easily, right?”

“Ah, that’s a great idea! Parmesan or Gouda cheese lasts long too! And cheese dishes mean we can use less meat while still getting protein…”

-Thud.

“……”

Midway through discussing meal plans with Ethan for the journey, I felt someone bump into my side, drawing my attention.

“Ah, sorry.”

A rough-looking someone with a hat pulled low muttered an apology in a raspy voice before disappearing into the crowd without waiting for a response.

A bad feeling made me check the cloth pouch in my right pocket-just as expected, the pickpocket had snatched it without even checking the contents.

“Lily, was that person just now…”

“…Yes, seems like a pickpocket.”

“Shouldn’t we chase them? With this crowd, they’ll disappear soon…”

“It’s fine. We’ll know where they are soon enough anyway.”

“……Huh?”

Only an idiot wouldn’t prepare countermeasures against pickpockets when visiting a medieval fantasy marketplace.

The gold coins I brought for shopping were obviously stored somewhere impossible to steal, so no worries there.

…Though the pouch the pickpocket took contained something special instead of coins.

“GYAAAAAH!!”

“Sounds like they ran into that alley.”

“…Yeah, seems so.”

We hurried toward the source of the raspy scream.

Shouldn’t have coveted others’ belongings.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

Following the screams, we found the pickpocket collapsed on the ground, clutching his face covered in the red liquid I’d prepared.

“AAAH! MY EYES! AAAH!!”

A special booby-trapped pouch designed to release wind magic upon opening-Sei’s handiwork. Of course, just wind magic would only give a refreshing breeze to the face, so I added a small trap spraying chili oil at the entrance.

The pickpocket seemed moved to tears-literally-covering his face with both hands.

“Do you like your gift, Mr. Pickpocket?”

“AAAH! FUCK! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PUT IN THERE?!”

“Chili oil made by steeping chili peppers in olive oil for about ten minutes. I was saving it for pasta, but thanks to you, I can’t use it now.”

“AAAH! GODDAMN BITCH!!”

“I’ll take the pouch back. Honestly, even the few coppers inside are too good for you.”

After retrieving the now-triggered booby-trapped pouch, I offered some parting words to the writhing pickpocket.

“Y-you damn bitch…”

“I get that you’re angry, but shouldn’t you be thinking rationally here? Do you really have time to spare? If you don’t get to a church within 30 minutes, those eyes will be useless for the remaining 30-ish years of your life.”

“F-fuck…! Goddamn whore! I’ll remember your face…!”

“So what? If you don’t go to the church now, you’ll never see that face again anyway. What’s remembering it gonna do?”

“W-what…”

“Ah, I should’ve asked first if you even have money for treatment. If you’re not going to the church anyway, why not memorize my voice instead? Your ears still work fine, so you can remember that properly.

Then later, if you think of me, just grab someone’s shoulder and ask: ‘Hey, your voice sounds like that bitch who blinded me-is that you?’ If I’m in a good mood then, maybe I’ll nod. Not that you’d see it either way.”

“……”

The pickpocket’s face froze, clearly not expecting me to talk back first. He even lowered his hands from his face, looking utterly dumbfounded.

He probably thought some sheltered noble girl had come to the market, never imagining the stolen pouch would be a trap-let alone that the victim would return to curse him out.

Not that his newly blinded self could do anything about it anyway. A pickpocket in broad daylight was just a thief or robber by night.

Him rummaging through his inner pocket after being insulted told me all I needed to know.

“Hurry to the church already. Not sure you can find your way with those eyes, though.”

“Y-you fucking bitch…”

“Hesitating won’t help. Want to live the rest of your life as a blind beggar? Wait, no… not a beggar, but…”

Was there a blind character in European fairy tales or history? …Helen Keller’s too modern.

The Happy Prince? Lady Justice? Nothing quite fits.

While I hesitated over what to say next, the pickpocket finally snapped and lunged at me with a blade.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! DIE, YOU WHORE!!”

Just as expected-showing his true colors by charging at me with a blade. His predictable actions only confirmed I’d done nothing wrong.

If he’d admitted fault and begged for forgiveness when caught, I’d have used Clean Magic to wash his face and healed him with the Saint’s authority. Blinding someone over petty theft is too harsh.

But with no remorse and now brandishing a weapon, I couldn’t just let it slide.

Maybe him disappearing from society would be the real Clean Magic here.

-Whoosh! Whish!

“FUCK! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BITCH?!”

A blind idiot wildly swinging a dagger posed no threat to me, having sparred with Ethan-whose sword strikes I could block half the time even when he wasn’t holding back.

If anything, his reckless charge after my warning made me wonder if I’d been underestimated.

Since we’d likely never meet again after today, I simply dodged his swings and tripped him.

-Thud!

“GYAAAAH!!”

Now face-down on the ground, the idiot flailed his remaining hand-still gripping the dagger-uselessly against the floor.

He seemed to have lost his mind completely, swinging wildly without aim.

As I considered whether leaving him might risk him slashing some innocent passerby’s ankle, Ethan delivered the finishing blow.

“…How dare you raise your blade against anyone.”

-Schlick!

“AAAAH!”

The thief’s dagger flew through the air-still clutched in his severed hand.

After dumping the now-blind (literally) and one-handed (also literally) thief in the alley, we stepped out to find the capital guards arriving.

“Halt! We received reports of screams from this alley… Oh my.”

The guard grimaced at the sight of the thief face-down, flailing his wrist stump.

“Explain what happened here, or-“

“Ethan Richard Blackwood of the Blackwood Ducal House. Currently staying at the royal annex due to circumstances.”

“……The Blackwood Ducal House, you say?”

“And that’s my fiancée, Lady Lilith Blackwood-Rosewood. You might have heard of her.”

“Lady Lilith? The one acquainted with the Third Princess…”

“Rumored to have beauty and breasts that…”

“This man stole Lily’s money earlier, then tried to attack her with a knife when she came to retrieve it. The severed hand still gripping the blade should be evidence enough-do you need further investigation?”

“N-no! Apologies for delaying you!”

“Good. Carry on.”

Words carried more weight when spoken by a ducal heir. Maybe they just didn’t dare cross the Blackwoods.

As we passed through the parting guards back into the marketplace, we began preparing for our camping trip-our real “date.”

“……”

Unnoticed by us, someone’s gaze followed our backs from the moment we left the alley.