#34.

Park Min-ah sat in her seat, blankly staring out the window. She hadn’t slept a wink last night, or the night before. She came to work, but her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was gaunt and pale. Folders piled up on her monitor, untouched for days.

“Team Leader Park, did you properly proofread this? There are so many typos and the page spacing is off.”

Park Min-ah flinched at the section chief’s sharp words and looked up.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll double-check and fix it.”

“Team Leader Park, is something wrong? You don’t look well…”

A colleague from the next desk spoke with a worried look. Park Min-ah hesitated, then shook her head.

“I’m okay. I think I’m just a little tired. I’ll pull myself together and get to work soon.”

No, I’m not okay. I’m so miserable, I feel like I’m dying. But she couldn’t bring herself to say those words out loud. How could she tell anyone that she had fallen so deeply for that man that she had lost everything?

Park Min-ah gritted her teeth and turned her gaze back to the monitor. No matter how hard she tried to concentrate, her fingers trembled on the keyboard, and the letters in front of her blurred. But she couldn’t stop. If she let go of this job too, she felt like she would turn into a handful of ashes and crumble. Forcibly holding back her tears, she began to focus on her work again.

After work, Park Min-ah returned home and collapsed as soon as she opened the front door. With a deep sigh and her head hanging low, she couldn’t bring herself to get up. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Lee Han.

‘How did I end up in this mess? Why is my life so twisted?’

Before she met Lee Han and fell in love, she had been so pure and happy. That man was the one to whom she had given her virginity. He was her everything. Park Min-ah closed her eyes and recalled the sweet moments with Lee Han one by one. The alleyway in the complex where they walked together, the office where they smiled at each other, the entrance where they shyly kissed…

‘If only I hadn’t rejected him back then, we would have been happy…’

Park Min-ah’s heart, filled with self-reproach and lingering feelings for Lee Han, was slowly dyed with darkness. Her love for him was twisting into obsession. She felt like she could do anything to be held in his arms again. In the days of blaming herself, she didn’t realize that she was changing.

Park Min-ah stared intently at her phone screen for a long time. Lee Han’s number was already deeply etched in her mind. Every time her finger reached to press the number, she hesitated.

‘Don’t you want to hear my voice one more time? Can’t we meet again…’

Torn between the desire to pour out her heart and the fear of not being able to, Park Min-ah’s mind wavered. Beyond her tear-blurred vision, Lee Han’s cold eyes flashed past.

‘What if I get rejected again… what if he pushes me away? What should I do…’

Park Min-ah hadn’t recovered from the pain of being abandoned by Lee Han once before. If she had to go through that pain again, she would never be able to endure it. Trembling with fear, she put down her phone. Instead, she covered her face and sobbed silently.

Lying curled up under the blanket, tears streamed endlessly from Park Min-ah’s eyes. A ray of sunlight squeezed through the window, but it couldn’t reach her inner self, which was consumed by darkness. In the midst of desperate longing for Lee Han and the fear of being rejected, Park Min-ah was becoming infinitely smaller.

How long had she cried? Before she knew it, her pillow was soaked with tears. Park Min-ah closed her eyes and recalled Lee Han’s illusion. His breath, his touch, and even his pungent scent felt vivid.

‘Please… save me from this pain… I can’t breathe without you…’

Only Park Min-ah’s wailing echoed in the empty room. Thus, she sank deeper into her desperate love for Lee Han.

Park Min-ah woke up again in the middle of the night, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her eyes were swollen and it was hard to even open them properly. Her face was ruined and her pillow was damp from the tears that had been flowing every night for days.

Lingering feelings and love for Lee Han, and the sense of loss from being abandoned, weighed her down. She didn’t want to admit that she was nothing to him. She had only committed the sin of loving, so why should she be punished so much?

‘I shouldn’t have rejected him, I should have listened to him…’

Even while being hurt and tormented by Lee Han’s actions, Park Min-ah blamed herself for everything. With self-reproach and self-blame, she fell deeper and deeper into the mire. In the midst of unbearable pain, she barely endured each day in despair.

At work, no one knew Park Min-ah’s inner story. She spent her days breathlessly with a face barely concealed by makeup, and when night came, another time of tears came again. There was no one to reach out to Park Min-ah, who was floundering in a deep swamp of despair and pain.

Even while craving and longing for Lee Han’s love, she didn’t have the courage to approach him. She was afraid of being rejected, afraid of being abandoned again so mercilessly. She felt pathetic and miserable for having fallen into a pitiful love. Park Min-ah’s inner self was being dyed with deep despair. With a wound so great that she couldn’t pull herself together, she endured each day in pain. She was continuing her lonely fight, unable to rely on anyone.

—

Park Min-ah walked into the apartment complex with heavy steps. Before she knew it, the sun had set and dusk had fallen. Although she was heading home, her legs were naturally heading towards the management office.

The management office looked dark from afar. Seeing that the lights were off, it seemed that Lee Han wasn’t there. Park Min-ah trudged to the office, but hesitated in front of the firmly closed door. She desperately wanted to go inside, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

‘I wish you were there…’

She whispered with a desperate heart, but only unanswered silence flowed. After lingering for a while, Park Min-ah turned her steps and headed home. Her thoughts were still on Lee Han.

When Park Min-ah arrived home, she buried herself in the sofa with a deep sigh. The moment she hesitated in front of the management office door kept coming to mind.

‘Should I have gone in? Or… should I not have rejected him before?’

Regret washed over her. Was it wrong to try to pull away without understanding Lee Han’s heart back then? Blaming herself, Park Min-ah’s heart fell into confusion again.

A few days later, on her way home from work, Park Min-ah found herself heading to the management office again. This time, the lights were on brightly. Park Min-ah’s heart began to race at the sight.

‘He’s there…!’

Calming her pounding heart, she slowly walked towards the office. But as she approached the door, she hesitated. She couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door. At that moment, she saw Lee Han through the window.

Carefully craning her neck at the window, afraid of being caught, she saw Lee Han’s profile as he sat at his desk doing something. Park Min-ah’s heart beat even faster at the sight of him after so long.

Her gaze kept being drawn to Lee Han’s face. She missed every single movement. Her heart ached with affection for him. After watching him for a while, it seemed like Lee Han was turning his head. Park Min-ah hurriedly stepped away from the window and left the office.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she left the apartment complex, clutching her pounding heart. Her head was dizzy with longing for Lee Han and frustration with her own timidity in not being able to approach him. Would it be okay like this? Anxious thoughts chased each other’s tails. Park Min-ah, who had stopped in front of her house, stood blankly for a while. Another day was setting in despair and anguish.

–

Han Soo-jin entered the management office with a sharp look and immediately snapped at Lee Han.

“What’s going on?”

Lee Han replied with a leisurely smile, as always.

“Do I have to have a reason to call you? I just called you because I missed you…”

“You usually come to my house, so why did you call me to the office today?”

Lee Han didn’t lose his relaxed smile even at Han Soo-jin’s sharp words. He slowly approached and wrapped his arms around Han Soo-jin’s waist, whispering.

“Don’t be like that. I have things to do at the office too… Anyway, we have to do the apartment women’s association work.”

“Okay…”

Han Soo-jin sighed and replied, then went to the water purifier and got a drink. Then she took out a packet of pills from her pocket and swallowed them.

“What kind of medicine is that?”

Lee Han asked with curiosity. Han Soo-jin glared at him once, then spat out in a bitter voice.

“Who do you think I’m taking this for…”

Lee Han’s smile froze for a moment, but he quickly noticed and quickly went to Han Soo-jin and massaged her shoulders.

“Is it not enough for me to be careful?”

“I’d rather be careful myself than trust you.”

Han Soo-jin initially tried to refuse, but soon accepted Lee Han’s touch. As the hand that was massaging her shoulder gradually moved down, she frowned.

“What are you doing? You said you had work to do…”

Before she could finish speaking, Lee Han suddenly leaned in and kissed her. Han Soo-jin looked at him with wide eyes, but soon closed her eyes and surrendered to the deepening kiss.

Their lips met hotly and exchanged tongues. Their breaths grew rougher and heat rose. Lee Han’s hand began to undo the buttons of Han Soo-jin’s shirt one by one. His lips brushed her neck, tracing down her collarbone. Han Soo-jin gritted her teeth and barely suppressed a moan.

“You said you had work to do…”

She muttered in a breathless voice, but her body had already been heated up for a long time. Without a word, Lee Han wrapped his arms around Han Soo-jin’s waist and sat her on the sofa. She could feel Lee Han’s hardened thing pressing against her thighs. Looking into each other’s eyes, the two kissed each other passionately again.

Soon, hot sighs and moans filled the office. Apartment work and such had long been forgotten. In one corner of the office, two people swept away by desire were becoming one.