Chapter 109: Small Change – 2

Chapter 109: Small Change – 2

“…? Yes?”

“Eh.”

……For a moment, my true feelings… no, an exaggerated sound, burst out without me realizing it.

I definitely didn’t mean for this to happen……

*We call that your true feelings.*

‘You, please shut up. Can’t you see Lily’s expression?’

Can’t you tell by the way she’s staring at me blankly?

She’s clearly broken and can’t understand what I just said!

“…It’s been a really long time since I’ve had properly made food, so, uh, I mean…”

“……This? I just scraped together whatever we had and made it, though?”

“……”

“Boss-nim… How badly do you usually eat……”

I definitely should have said no… but I just couldn’t bring myself to deny it.

No, to be precise, Lily spoke first before I could even say anything.

…Only then did I realize that Lily hadn’t just looked at me earlier, but had roughly scanned my body.

“Be honest with me, Boss-nim.”

“No, that…”

“Clearly, looking at the allowance that’s regularly delivered to your doorstep and the state of this house, you’re not eating like a pauper on the streets…”

“Excuse me, Lily?”

“And to say you’re managing your beauty like wealthy nobles, you’re already thin to the point of being excessive…”

“Hey, just listen to me……”

“I haven’t worked with you for long, but… it looks like you’re really bothered by having to cook, doesn’t it?”

“……”

…That’s strange. I was clearly the one who made a slip of the tongue and was trying to fix it…?

Why did the problem suddenly shift to whether or not I eat well…?

No, why is Lily suddenly doing this to me in the first place?!

*Well, anyone would say that ordinary food tastes delicious, and then suddenly ask to live together, wouldn’t they?*

‘Hmm? Ordinary?’

*The food you ate for most of your life was hospital food, so it tasted terribly bad. That’s a normal taste.*

‘……What? Really? People normally ate food that tasted so distinctly and stimulatingly delicious?’

*…Unfortunately, yes, they did? You just had really bad luck with food.*

Before I could say anything more to Ria, who had suddenly interjected, I saw Lily’s face up close.

And she grabbed my wrist and brought it next to her own.

“Look, see? How little do you eat for your wrist to be thinner than mine? I was also from the slums, worrying about food every day before I started working for you, Boss-nim?”

“Ah, no. It’s just that my wrists are naturally thin……”

“Even so, from a quick glance, your waist and other parts are thinner than mine, too? Oh, your chest would be an exception.

…The flesh that should be here is spread all over your body, you know.”

“……L-Lily. That’s a bit… embarrassing.”

Having someone stare intently at my body was quite embarrassing.

…Especially when they were talking about my body type.

……No, she must be about five years younger than me, so why am I the one who’s more embarrassed…?

Are kids these days just more open-minded…?

“…Ah, did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Ah, no. It’s just that this is my first time experiencing something like this… You’re so composed, Lily.”

“Well, there are always a few unpleasant crazy people in the back alleys. Anyway, it’s most surprising that Boss-nim’s body looks fine and cute on the outside.”

After saying that, Lily sighed lightly and took something out of her bag and began to write.

I didn’t ask what she was writing. It was obvious.

It was a letter. …A letter saying she would live in my house for a while.

“Excuse me, Lily? You don’t necessarily have to stay with me……”

“Yes, I do. Seeing how you live today, you’re probably not going to eat well again during your ‘potion research’ because you’ll find it bothersome and tiring, right?

And in the midst of that, you’re trying to find an assistant because you’re aware of it yourself?”

“…This is why perceptive people are a problem.”

“So, I’ll just do it. That assistant job.”

……Things were definitely working out in a good way, but somehow it felt subtly unsettling.

No, to be precise, it might be because the way Lily looked at me had changed so dramatically from ‘respected Boss-nim’ to ‘Boss-nim who needs to be taken care of.’

…Something about a girl younger than me acting like that made me feel very strange.

“No, that… it’s not just about meals, I really need an assistant for the overall work of potion crafting……”

“Then shouldn’t I be the one doing it even more? I, I managed the store quite well, you know?

Besides, you’re the only one who knows about your potions, so wouldn’t I, who at least knows what they are, be a good assistant?”

“…No, I’m grateful, but…… why are you suddenly so…?”

“Did you forget? To me, Boss-nim is a family benefactor! Thanks to your potions, both my mother and my younger sibling could live. And you’re even giving me a job and income!”

She was right. She’s even paid quite well, so I was a true benefactor in every sense of the word.

…But being cared for by a child younger and more delicate… well, not delicate, but anyway, by a child like that, it felt like I was becoming a messed-up person….

Even if Lily was okay with it, I doubted her family would approve.

“Erm, Lily? No matter what, without your mother’s consent……”

“She’d probably give her permission unconditionally if it meant helping Boss-nim, you know?”

“……No, am I that precious? Even though I’m not doing anything dangerous, just not eating well, and it’s that serious?”

“Boss-nim……”

It was something I said unconsciously, but in those words, I suddenly realized.

…Am I, indeed, that precious of a person?

For a moment, emotions suddenly surged. …Dark, sticky, unpleasant emotions from my past life that I had forgotten for a while.

However, I didn’t try to suppress them.

No, I couldn’t suppress them.

They had only faded gradually as I did various things after coming to this world, but they still existed within me.

……Actually, it was embarrassing to have a girl younger than me worry about my meals, but there was a more fundamental sense of rejection.

…A question of whether I deserved such treatment.

In my past life, I isolated myself. Because I couldn’t do anything, and was rendered unable to do anything.

The nurses at the hospital? They were just people who provided service because I paid them.

Friends? When I became unable to do anything, they slowly forgot about me.

And besides them? There was no one except my family, who clung to me until the end just because we were blood relatives, even though I couldn’t do anything.

Therefore, one day, I had a small question.

If even my remaining family disappeared, would there be anyone left to cherish me?

Even after coming to this world and starting a new life, changing the unfortunate destinies of others… that question didn’t seem to be fundamentally erased.

Would there truly be someone who cherished me? Before that… was I even worthy of it?

My meeting with Lily was purely coincidental.

I simply sold potions at what I thought was a fair price, and thanks to the decision to buy those potions, Lily’s younger sibling lived.

Her coming to my shop and my hiring her was purely for my own sake.

Not only that, but even when going through Branch Points with the system, I moved to get better rewards and live a better life.

I had forgotten for a moment, intoxicated by the situation of changing the world’s destiny.

No, I had forgotten while going through several Branch Points recently and changing the destinies of various main characters.

…That these emotions, this gloom, this sinking, were what truly suited me.

They talk about the main characters and the world, but in the end, I… was only looking out for myself.

“Boss-nim? Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh…? Ah, sorry. Just for a moment…”

“Anyway, Boss-nim is definitely a precious person, so have a little more confidence! In fact, the number of people who have benefited from you is growing, isn’t it? Like that Knight Captain unnie back then!”

…Surely, that would have been the case.

“…But in the end, it’s all just to make money, isn’t it?”

“Then are the clergy people who want to dominate the world with money? If you undermine yourself like that, everyone in the world would be selfish and a thief!”

Such thoughts were fading away with the light words of this girl in front of me.

…Why? How?

Along with that thought, my vision momentarily darkened, and the flow of time in reality briefly stopped.

The only things moving in that world were me, and… Ria, who had materialized at some unknown point.

*Well, because we intervened a bit, you know?*

‘…You guys?’

*Please forget your past life and live your current one. Seriously. You do so well, and then you always fall into this gloom, don’t you?*

‘What exactly did you do?’

*We brought a lump of emotions that had been suppressed, or rather, existed in your subconscious, into the realm of consciousness.

Because of that, you were subtly showing resistance to Lily’s suggestion even now. We thought this situation wouldn’t do any longer.*

‘That’s… true.’

*Not only that, but sometimes you would frustratingly blame yourself or doubt your own abilities, so we just boldly intervened a bit.

Of course, the aftermath would have been a sudden surge of emotions, gloom, and thoughts about your past life.*

…My emotions that were in my subconscious, unknown to me.

To be precise…… emotions stemming from my past life.

……Honestly, they are emotions I never want to see again.

*Then you don’t have to see them anymore, right?*

‘Huh?’

*Why do you think we specifically brought those subconscious emotions to the surface? It’s so you can completely shed them this time.

It’s also a way of telling you to live a present life completely different from your past one, one that you will create.*

‘……’

*Well, you probably can’t do it right away. Because that’s human nature. But now you understand, right?*

At the same time, the stopped time resumed.

My vision returned, and sounds became audible.

…It was the voices of two people.

*”Quite a lot of people cherish you/Boss-nim, you know?”*