You Still Are

A moment of silence lingered, and soon after, I came to my senses around the time I faintly heard Sylvia’s laughter, like air escaping.

“Pfft, I’m sorry. I just threw out a little joke because Layard-gongja looked so serious, but I didn’t know you’d freeze up like that.”

“…….”

Where on earth does that audacity to throw that out as a joke come from?

Just looking at her, she’s just delicate, no, not just delicate, but like a glass ornament that looks like it would collapse if it just got a little sunlight, but she’s got unnecessarily big guts.

It was absurd, but on the other hand, I was relieved.

Because it was the same Sylvia I knew.

Even in the past, her unique playfulness and mischievousness don’t seem to have changed much.

I felt like that was proof that this girl hadn’t lost her innocence yet, and I felt a little overwhelmed, wanting to somehow help her keep her current self.

“…There’s no need to change the title. Anyway, outwardly, it will be expressed that we are dating.”

While feeling my heart sink for a moment at Sylvia’s action of sweeping me from top to bottom with bewitching eyes while putting her hands behind her back, I tried my best to maintain a businesslike tone and opened my mouth.

“That’s good. Actually, I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

Then, Sylvia, on the contrary, sparkled her eyes and jumped up and down in place again.

That habit was innate. Even in my past life, she would jump like that whenever she got a little excited.

Because her skin and hair were white, she was almost like a rabbit.

But is she really okay?

This situation where she was suddenly sold under the command of a slave trader with her father’s permission, like a slave under a slave trader, this situation where she has to pretend to be dating a man she has never met before, even if it’s just in name, doesn’t she feel any sense of incongruity?

“Aren’t you embarrassed?”

“Embarrassed, what are you talking about?”

“Everything. If it were me, I would have kicked the shins of the man in front of me right away.”

“I can’t do such an uncivilized act as kicking the shins of someone I’m meeting for the first time.”

“…….”

It’s not wrong, but it feels strange to hear the current Sylvia say something that seems to mention common sense.

Then, does that mean that what she is doing is within the bounds of common sense?

“Hehe, I’m kidding. I know why Layard-gongja is saying that.”

“I see.”

Sylvia covered her mouth and burst into laughter one after another, as if she had seen my dumbfounded expression.

It seems that pretending not to know earlier was a joke in its own way.

Fortunately, she knew.

I’m sorry to Sylvia, but I thought that she might really not know and throw out such words, so I was wondering where to start explaining.

“It’s not like this situation will change just because I yell at you. If my father had really sold me to a slave trader, I would have resisted tenaciously, though.”

“It doesn’t seem much different from being sold to a slave trader.”

“Really? I’m sure that Layard-gongja will treat me more kindly than some mere slave trader, don’t you think?”

I don’t know what her standards are.

Even in my past life, she called me a kind person, throwing out words that were hard to understand.

Even now, I have no idea what confidence she has to trust me.

But, funnily enough, while I can’t understand her thoughts, there is me who is happy with her pure faith.

“I won’t treat you badly. Anyway, you are a valuable card to me too.”

“That alone is trustworthy. They say that a clear understanding of interests is more solid than an ambiguous bond, right?”

“That’s a great saying.”

As I unconsciously admired the plausible sentence and clapped my hands lightly, she giggled and suddenly held out her right hand.

Wondering what this meant, I blinked my eyes like a goldfish, and Sylvia peeked at me with a playful smile and shook her hand vigorously.

“We’re in the same boat now. I was wondering if we could shake hands to say ‘nice to meet you’.”

“I’m the one who should say ‘nice to meet you’.”

The act of holding her hand itself was quite reluctant for me, but it was better than embarrassing her, so I tried to pretend to be okay and held her hand.

I felt it back then too, but it’s a truly delicate hand.

At the same time, it’s a warm hand that could have saved me, a hand that I pushed away with my own hands.

So, I’ll fix it from now on.

I will take the lead so that your hand can always be as clean as it is now, so that no one’s blood drips on it.

As I made that resolution and took my hand away, Sylvia blinked her eyes while staring blankly at her hand, then raised her gaze and stared at me.

“Do you have anything else to say?”

“No, I’m just amazed. Layard-gongja’s hands are very big.”

“Since I’m a man, my frame is different, so my hands are probably bigger than a woman’s.”

Of course, even considering that, Sylvia’s hands are overwhelmingly smaller and more delicate than anyone else’s I’ve ever seen, but there’s no need to say that fact out loud.

According to what I heard vaguely in the past, it seemed to be a topic that she was quite conscious of.

Anyway, I had spent more time than I thought, so I was about to turn around, thinking that I should go back soon.

“Um, Layard-gongja. If it’s not rude, would it be okay to touch your hand one last time?”

“Hand… are you talking about?”

“Yes, it’s my first time seeing someone with such big hands.”

At Sylvia’s sudden suggestion, I had to stop walking and make an embarrassed expression.

Of course, touching her hand isn’t a difficult thing, but are my hands that big?

As I saw earlier, Creed Eleanor’s hands seemed quite big compared to her petite figure.

I nodded, thinking that it was probably because I couldn’t go out of the room, so I didn’t have much chance to see an ordinary man’s hands.

“Yes, as you wish.”

“Really? Thank you.”

Then, I spread out my hand and held it up to her eye level, and Sylvia jumped up and down again and matched her hand to mine.

“It’s really big. It seems to be at least twice the size of my hand.”

“Maybe the princess’s hands are too small.”

“That’s too much…! I’m quite conscious of that, you know.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

I let my words slip out without realizing it. Even though I knew it was a topic that Sylvia was conscious of.

As expected, this damn mouth is the problem.

Anyway, I guess she could have guessed it by now after comparing them like this.

Now, I can slowly take my hand away…

Kwak.

As soon as I thought that, Sylvia’s hand, which had been touching mine, intertwined with mine as if to bind it.

I was so embarrassed by the soft sensation felt between my fingers that I widened my eyes, and Sylvia showed her unique innocent smile and said to me.

“Hehe, this is a punishment. It’s because Layard-gongja was inconsiderate.”

“…Punishment, are you talking about?”

“Yes, it’s a punishment. Now, until you return to the castle, the feeling from a little while ago will continue to come back to life, you know?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her action of pointing to her left hand with an unlike her sinister smile, euhehe.

That’s a pretty novel punishment.

I’m happy to have this kind of punishment as much as possible, but it’s definitely bad for my heart.

“Anyway, I’m sorry to keep Layard-gongja any longer, so shall we go out together soon?”

“Together, does the princess have something else to do?”

“It’s seeing you off. I learned that it’s polite to go out to the castle gate at least when a guest leaves.”

Well, she probably hasn’t seen off a guest who came to visit her, so I understand why she’s so excited.

I want to tell her to rest, but since she seems to want to see me off, I decided to just go out with her.

“That must be it.”

The carriage that must have arrived at the castle gate a long time ago was eagerly waiting for me.

The horse was tired of waiting for a long time, so it dropped its head with a pururuk sound.

“Then, Princess Eleanor, see you next time.”

“Yes, see you next time. I had a lot of fun today, Layard-gongja.”

I felt a little strange when I said my last goodbye to her before getting on the carriage.

Until I came here today, I was prepared to get slapped on the cheek by her when I said goodbye, but I’m going back after hearing that she had fun.

It seems that nothing in life goes according to my expectations.

There are times when I don’t like that, but at times like this, I feel like it’s not so bad.

“Euryah!”

As I got on the carriage, the scenery slowly began to change with the coachman’s energetic shout.

“You’ve worked hard, doryeonnim.”

“Yeah.”

Inside, I casually answered Alf’s voice that followed, and only repeated clenching and unclenching my right hand silently.

Sylvia was right.

It keeps coming to mind. The short but intense warmth and sensation that you gave me.

Maybe by the time this is forgotten, I will naturally be thinking of your face.

Surely, that might be the same as a punishment in some ways.

Drawing the face of someone you love, but shouldn’t approach.

＊＊＊

Meanwhile, Sylvia, who had been waving her hand until the departing carriage completely disappeared from her sight, turned around only after the sandstorm had subsided a little.

“Anyway… not looking back when leaving is still the same.”

There was a hint of resentment in the quietly muttered words.

Her slightly sulky puffed-up cheeks were also representing this, but still, the smile never disappeared from her lips.

She was walking lightly and cheerfully with her hands behind her back, but she stopped in place for a moment and repeatedly fiddled with her left hand, looking down at it like a certain man.

“Hehe….”

Still, I should say it’s fortunate that I achieved my goal to some extent.

I feel sorry for feeling like I deceived him, but if I didn’t do this, there was no way to hold his hand so tightly, so she tried to rationalize it.

From the beginning, I already knew that his hands weren’t that big compared to the average man, but they were still much bigger than hers.

I just created an excuse to hold hands, using it as a pretext, as I saw in a certain romance book, but I didn’t know he would be so easily fooled.

“You’re still the same, even in this world.”

Unlike that appearance of trying to be prickly, your inside is still purely innocent.

Feeling that fact, Sylvia felt a strange sense of relief.