episode_0384

Arthur recalled the feeling of loss. The moment I lost my mother. When the funeral was held. The time when I guarded the side of the grave alone on a rainy day. After being left alone, he suffered a lot of contempt in the royal palace.

Although he thought he had overcome it, he reflected on the wounds that still remained, took away his depression, and opened his mouth.

“The first thing we must assume is that if we intervene clumsily, we will only make the situation worse.”

The pain of losing a parent should not be tampered with by outsiders. This is especially true if the emotional reverberations remain intact even though nearly ten years have passed since then.

“Because mediocre sympathy only increases the heartache.”

Arthur, who swallowed the words that he had experienced it himself, continued speaking while tapping the table.

“The good news is that there is someone in the mansion who can share Lucy’s sadness.”

“Margrave Benedick Aln.”

“Okay. I think the best solution would be for Arn Beck to comfort Lucy.”

“I think so too…”

Joey, who was dragging his mother, continued speaking while recalling Benedick’s expression that he had seen yesterday.

“Now it seems like the Aln Baek is slightly reluctant to see the Lady.”

This happened around the time I had just returned from the archipelago. Benedick, who heard that Lucy and the rest of the group had returned, threw away all his work as if it were natural and came out to welcome Lucy.

Up to this point, stupid Benedick had acted like a normal person, but when he met Lucy again, his attitude was very subtle.

When he saw Lucy smiling brightly while calling him Papa, he froze, then decided to run away, saying he remembered something urgent.

Even after that, Benedick noticeably avoided Lucy. He looked so strange that it was hard to believe that he was someone who usually did his best to stay by his daughter’s side.

“I guess it’s because the lady’s expressions have become more diverse, right?”

“It will be like that. The guy who wanted to kill himself because he always liked his cocky expression, how could he resist his bright smile?”

The two of them sighed at the same time, knowing how foolish Benedick, the kingdom’s hero and a knight who would be honored in history, was acting in front of his daughter.

“Once the work to be done has been decided. You must inform Aln Beck of Lucy Alln’s condition. Then you will be able to move him.”

“If you are an Aln Baek, you cannot know how your daughter will react upon seeing her sad, so you should decide the content of your advice in advance.”

Joey and Arthur began discussing what to say when they met Benedick.

Frey, who was sitting on one side of the table and blankly listening to the conversation between the two people, quietly tilted his head.

Would the person who always pays attention to Lucy not know that Lucy is depressed? I know, but for some reason I can’t approach you?

Of course, Frey did not voice his doubts out loud.

Because he thought that two people who were much smarter than him would take care of it.

*

Benedick did not like snowy winters.

The reason was simple. Because someone he loved died on a day like this.

“Mummy. Even though so much time has passed since you died, the sky still mourns your death.”

Benedick, who was looking out the window blankly because he couldn’t get anything done, felt the presence of people outside and was the first to speak out.

“Please come in. I was taking a break anyway.”

What came through the slowly opened door was the daughter of the Patran family. Benedick’s face was filled with tenderness as he looked at Joy, knowing that his daughter Lucy was a friend he particularly cared for.

“What’s going on? I understand it is time to participate in training.”

“I have something I want to ask you.”

“Ask me anything. Since you are my daughter’s close friend, I will answer most of your questions.”

“Do you know that the lady is depressed?”

Benedick, who froze for a moment at the straightforward question, continued to think hard and nodded with a sigh.

“Did you know?”

“Yes. I knew it. How can I not know when everything that happens in the mansion is in my ears?”

Benedick lived his life paying attention to everything that happened in the mansion.

It’s a habit that arose out of concern that one of the employees who hates Lucy might do something, and out of concern that Lucy might go astray.

Although it was a habit that had become meaningless now, Benedick still paid attention to what was happening in the mansion.

So I knew. The fact that Lucy is grieving as the anniversary of Mira’s death approaches.

“…But why are you avoiding Lucy?”

“Because I am not qualified to comfort my daughter.”

When Benedick heard that Lucy was sad, he suffered from a heart-wrenching pain, but he could not bring himself to comfort her.

I endured the pain from a distance because I thought I didn’t deserve it.

Joey questioned Benedick’s words, but Benedick’s expression looked too painful to say anything easily, and the hero who seemed to never fall seemed like he would collapse the moment he touched him, so he couldn’t ask why.

Did he notice the worried look in his eyes? Benedick struggled to raise the corners of his mouth.

“It’s not that great of a story. This is a story I should tell my daughter’s close friends.”

Then he raised his head and shouted at the two people outside the door.

“You two can come in too.”

“…Did you know.”

“Excuse me.”

Benedick, seeing Arthur and Frey seated on either side of Joey, called an attendant outside and ordered him to prepare refreshments, then sat down opposite them.

“What on earth do you mean by not being qualified?”

“It’s literally like that. Prince. What right does a father who couldn’t be by his daughter’s side when she was in the most pain have the right to comfort her daughter?”

If you ask Benedick where he would like to go if he could turn back time, he would answer without hesitation.

I want to go back to the time when Lucy was in the most pain.

It wasn’t a time when I was full of blood. It wasn’t a time when I was called a hero and treated like a hero. It wasn’t when I was happiest when I met my wife. I want to go back to the moment when I wasn’t there for my daughter when she needed me the most and be her support.

“Around the time I lost my wife. I couldn’t pay attention to anything else because I was enduring the pain of loss.”

When I wake up in the morning, there is no one that should be there. Warm warmth too. Even the sound of laughter. A soft voice too. Everything is empty.

The same goes for eating. He showed his anticipation by explaining what kind of dish he had prepared next to him. There is no longer anyone who smiles brightly when someone says something is delicious.

Even when working. Even when walking around the mansion. Even when I go for a walk outside. Even when traveling in a carriage. Someone who has always been there. The person who seemed like he would always stay is no longer there.

The loss of the person who filled everything in Benedick’s life was the greatest pain in Benedick’s life.

That was why he ignored Lucy. When I look at my daughter, my wife’s face comes to mind. I keep crying. I thought I wanted to follow my wife’s side. I couldn’t leave my daughter by my side.

“After a while, I realized how stupid I had been, but it was already too late. Lucy had closed her heart for a long time. It’s natural. How can I open my heart when this trashy father abandoned me first?”

Benedick understood his own sin. That’s why I lived my whole life with the heart of a sinner.

He acted that way because he believed that all he could do was love his daughter and hope that she would forgive him.

“People are truly clever. The guilt that I promised myself I would never ignore gradually became dull.”

When the child who was trapped on the day his wife died and cursed the world overcame his grief alone and began to take steps again.

Benedick, who was stupid, showed honest joy at the child’s change.

I imagined a day when I would forget my sins and be happy with my daughter.

I wanted to be able to return to the happy scenery I had before.

I don’t even know the shame.

“But the moment the scene I dreamed of came true, memories of the past and all the sins I had committed came to mind.”

After returning from the archipelago, Lucy was able to smile as brightly as she did when her wife was alive, rather than the fake smile she tried to make. I was able to be honest with my own feelings.

When Benedick saw that, he felt a greater sense of guilt than joy.

Because it reminded me of sins that can never be erased in the scenes of the past.

Because at some point, I realized that I was adding excuses to my sin of abandoning my child.

“That’s why I’ve been avoiding Lucy so far. I think you will be truly happy when you see Lucy now.”

I am a person who should not be happy. We are human beings who must suffer and embrace sin for the rest of our lives.

Just as Benedick had forgotten how to smile, there was a knock on the door.

After the butler who came into the room handed out refreshments and went outside again, Benedick looked at his haggard face reflected in the center of the teacup and continued speaking.

“I am not qualified to comfort Lucy. I don’t deserve to be forgiven by Lucy.”

Arthur and Joy were left speechless when Benedick said that he should not comfort Lucy’s sadness. All the words I had prepared in advance were powerless in the face of Benedick’s guilt.

“So, everyone.”

“Lucy’s dad.”

However, one person was different. Frey, who did not pay attention to what others thought, continued speaking confidently even though he was aware of Arthur and Joey’s urgent glances.

“Isn’t that something that Lucy should decide, not Lucy’s dad?”

“…Yes?”

“The punishment of a bad person is not decided by the bad person himself. If that were possible, I wouldn’t have been scolded by Lucy or the prince.”

“Hey! Frey!”

“So. hmm. hmm. Um.”

Frey, who had been choosing words while ignoring Arthur’s shout, suddenly stood up from his seat.

“I can’t do it. I’m too stupid to say nice things.”

“No, why on earth are you making such a fuss all of a sudden?”

And then he ran out of the room without asking permission.

While the three people were shocked by the sudden misfortune, Frey, who had been somewhere causing a commotion, placed a crystal ball in front of Benedick.

“Lady of Kent. What is this?”

“Contact beads.”

“Where is it connected?”

“The most mature person I know.”

Frey said this and poured magical power into the crystal ball. Then, the blue light flickered a few times, then stopped, and an image of a person appeared on the crystal ball.

– Lady. what. Oh my goodness. Aln bag.

“Saint?”

– yes. This is Fabi. It’s been a while since I last saw you.

It was the appearance of a saint who was currently carrying out a busy schedule at the church’s shrine.