Side Story – To You, Who Will Be Waiting at the Ending (1
by Afuhfuihgs
Side Story – To You, Who Will Be Waiting at the Ending (1)
I hear the sound of water. The smell of water and earth wet with rain. Only the sound of people hurrying their steps, flustered by the sudden shower, was heard on the street. Fortunately, I had prepared an umbrella in advance, so I didn’t need to rush.
There was my father-nim’s suggestion to take a carriage… but I wanted to walk the road to meet them myself. Because sometimes I want to indulge in emotions to my heart’s content in the memories I had with them.
Splash-!
“Ah, I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay.”
The child who stepped in a puddle hurriedly apologized after seeing the water splash on my shoes, covered their head with their hand, and ran into the alley. As the rain became heavier, no other presence was felt on the street except for the sound of my heels clicking.
After walking for a while, I finally arrived at my destination. I gently placed the bouquet of flowers I had prepared in front of a large, sturdy dark red tombstone.
“Hello. I’m here again.”
I don’t expect any response, but I spoke anyway. Because this place is for my precious ‘friends’. I quietly recited in my mouth the names that were written in gold on the top of the tombstone, names that I no longer had the occasion to call out usually.
Lakar, the head of the Messiah club and more reliable than anyone else.
Kane, the kind alchemist who loved camping.
Aria, who possessed childlike innocence.
And….
And? I feel strange again. There are no other members in the Messiah club, so why do I unconsciously think of ‘and’ several times? I feel sorry for repeatedly committing the rudeness of confusing a precious person with someone else.
I shook my head slightly to clear my mind and put on the brightest smile I could muster. Once a year. Since I came to see everyone, I want to show only my best side.
“I’m sorry I can’t visit often. My parents are very much against me coming here. They even told me to let it go now that five years have passed. How can I do that? Many people don’t recognize it, but thanks to your sacrifices and efforts, the world could be saved, and I can live like this. Even if everyone else lets it go, shouldn’t I hold on to it?”
As if to convey someone’s answer, a moist wind swept past. I tidied up my fluttering hair with my fingertips and poured out the words I had kept in my heart for a while. Of course, most of it is about the past. This is the only place where I can talk about the precious memories I had in the Messiah club.
“…Then I’ll come again next time. Take care, everyone.”
I always feel bitter whenever I turn away from the tombstone. Should I call it a feeling of being alienated? I think my name, as a member of the Messiah club, should also be written on the tombstone.
As I walked towards the portal station lost in thought, I suddenly felt moisture on my fingertips. Oh no, my left hand was damp. It’s because I reached my hand out of the umbrella, as if reaching out to someone invisible…
“…I do this again.”
Sometimes when I take a walk and get lost in thought, I unconsciously stretch out my left hand to the side. As if I expect someone to hold my hand. It feels really strange. No one has ever held my left hand, which can only clench something tightly enough to break it due to excessive muscle tension from the accident.
I am also ashamed to offer my uncomfortable left hand to someone, so I have never offered it to my family. Because I know for sure that we are both uncomfortable. But why do I try to reach out my left hand as if it were natural every time I walk down the street? As if there was someone by my side who would accept my shame and discomfort without a word.
Instead of the way I came, I deliberately headed to a different exit, stopped for a moment, and looked up at a large statue. It was a statue of the hero Roel holding a large holy sword. It seemed there was no place to put flowers because several people had already visited. It is only natural since he is now remembered by the words hero and hero rather than his name.
Looking at the statue getting wet from the rain falling from the sky, I suddenly remembered the last moment I met the hero Roel. The hero was crying like this back then too. That image still vividly comes to mind. The handsome hero-nim crying sadly was beautiful, and I had a bit of a maternal instinct-like feeling that I wanted to comfort him… but it doesn’t feel like that’s why I remember it.
Somehow, there’s this strange obsession that I shouldn’t forget that moment… that’s holding onto that memory. What on earth was the reason why my heart ached so much, why I felt so sad as if I was suffocating? I haven’t forgotten anything, but why do I have this strange sense of loss?
I suddenly thought of myself as a pathetic person. Because I can’t even properly understand my own heart. What I should do, what I want to do in the future… I don’t even know such basic things and just live my life. Since graduating from Transcendence Academy, I’ve just been studying books or magic and spending meaningless days.
I don’t want to meet anyone new either. I know I’m at the age to get married, and I’ve received several offers through my parents. But somehow it feels wrong. It feels like I’m making a very big mistake? Being with someone else… I instinctively felt repulsed.
It wasn’t a strange fear of novelty, but a feeling of rejection that said, “This is really not it!” Why is that? Am I still expecting the prince in the fairy tale I’ve dreamed of since I was a child? Hmm, that seems pretty pathetic too.
***
“Luna, how have you been? I told you to contact me more often!”
“No, I think Navier contacts me too much. When I’m writing a reply, if another one comes, I get confused about which one to reply to first!”
“Just do both!”
“Then another one will come! You chatterbox!”
I smiled faintly as I listened to the two of them bantering. Navier and Eunice are my only academy classmates that I meet with regularly. Surprisingly, we have a lot in common. Is it because we were temporary members of the Messiah club? Or is it because we are from the same academy that our conversation continues endlessly.
“Then answer them all! And send another reply with revenge in mind!”
No, I think the conversation is endless simply because Navier is a gossip. Should I say it feels like she’s filling in for what I lack in conversation? Sometimes it feels too much to the point of fatigue. Especially when the topic is a newly released romance novel. I’m interested too, but compared to Navier, I’m only at the beginner level.
“…Are you telling me to just write letters all day? I’m a busy person!”
In fact, Eunice will be really busy. The wise emperor had planned everything, even what would happen after his death. Abolition of the class system, transition from empire to republic, exercise of autonomy in each city, etc. So much has changed in the past few years that it’s hard to list them all.
Of course, there was strong opposition. There are few people who can fully accept the loss of power they thought was theirs. But the emperor had already united the great nobles of the north and east and even won over the golden king, the powerful figure in the west. The nobles of the south had no choice but to follow the trend.
Eunice explained that one of the reasons for their success was that the great nobles of the capital, who had wielded influence in the capital, could not join forces because the capital was completely destroyed. Ah, Eunice currently holds the position of [Minister of Republic Development]. I heard it’s a position to design the future of the republic, but I don’t know exactly what she does.
Eunice, who had been grumbling at Navier for a while, turned her head towards me. Her eyes seemed to be shining brighter than usual, as if she had something to say to me.
“Roel is back.”
And she said.
“And he wants to meet you.”
■■■
A huge structure exists on the outskirts of the outer universe, where Ross of Aspiration hid himself to escape the world’s negativity. Inside, only pitch-black darkness exists, causing everything that enters the building to get lost and unable to escape.
An overwhelming density of darkness that oppresses the soul. If you pass through it, you can find a room in the center of the building, where you can find a broken throne and a pitiful soul suffering endlessly.
“Kkeuaaaak…!!!”
It screams. Because the soul is torn apart and restored every second. It was a much better pain to bite off one’s own flesh. The despairing thing is that this pain is endless. Because this place is where even the world’s time has gone astray.
[Hehehe, I will never kill you. This is a merciful gift to the variable who gave me a humiliating gift. I will make you endlessly regret that this is the result of the sacrifice you chose.]
Poison that stains the soul, endless wounds, the whispers of countless souls who have succumbed to Nyarlathotep, the will of a god trying to make them submit. The existence that accepts it head-on is… Ross.
It had been a long time since he had surpassed the limit of pain. But because he was not allowed to break down, Ross could not even faint and could feel the pain he was experiencing very clearly. The pain of the soul being torn apart without any sound was a pain that made him forget even breathing and screaming.
[Deny everything about yourself, and next time, become my subordinate and destroy the world with your own hands. Hating the world that has forgotten your pain, your sacrifice… Puhheukkeuk!!!!]
Ross, whose soul burst out without even being able to scream at Nyarlathotep’s gesture, returned to his original state and shed saliva and tears.
“……Da.”
Nyarlathotep listened to Ross’s words at the mumbling smaller than a breath.
“…Thirty thousand and twenty sheep.”
[Puhhehe, are you even trying to act crazy? Your mind is protected by my power. Don’t you still know that you can’t go crazy even if you want to? It’s something that’s not allowed even if you desperately beg me to let you go crazy.]
Ross, who had slowly lowered his head at the mocking words, smiled brightly with his messed-up face.
“Yeah, I thought you wouldn’t understand.”
[…What did you say?]
“Thirty thousand and twenty-one sheep… Kkeueueueueueuk―――!!!”
Ross, who was slowly torn apart from the top of his head, felt the familiar sensation of his spilled entrails touching the air and felt the countless pains that he could never get used to. Nevertheless, Ross never stopped counting sheep.
[…Good, I’ll have a lot of fun with this time. I look forward to seeing when that smile of yours will disappear.]
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