Heart
by Afuhfuihgs
A week has passed. Already, half of winter vacation is over. During that time, I holed up in the clubroom, researching the Imperial Guardian Golem I received from Bella and focusing on personal training.
I also met Ellie at the library to discuss magic, and I helped Kane with his alchemy experiments using my magic engineering knowledge. Estelle was still in endless negotiations with Frax about magic stone bombs, building an alchemy workshop.
I had no plans for today. I was thinking of buying some items needed to improve the golem at the magic engineering workshop I visited last time when someone came to the clubroom. I opened the door without much thought at the sound of a steady knock. And I froze in place, still holding the doorknob.
The person who came to the clubroom was Luna, who should be in the East. As I stared blankly at Luna with her hands behind her back, Luna smiled and called my name.
“Ross.”
“…Huh?”
After giving a slow response, I finally came to my senses and asked.
“Uh, how did you get here…?”
“I came because I missed you.”
As she said that and slowly nestled into my arms, I snapped out of it and hugged Luna tightly, as if not wanting to let go. The warmth I felt from our touching bodies made me smile without realizing it.
“You cut your hair? You were cool before, but it suits you even better now.”
“Really?”
Just being by her side is enough to make me lose control of my emotions like this… I hugged Luna and went into the clubroom, closing the door with my foot.
And as our eyes met, our lips touched without either of us making the first move. A soft and pleasant sensation. That alone fills my heart with something.
As our lips parted, Luna looked at me with half-closed eyes. That look was so enchanting that I buried my face in Luna’s neck without realizing it and whispered in a low voice.
“I missed you.”
Luna smiled and replied to my clumsy sincerity.
“So this time, I came to you. I missed Ross too.”
Suddenly, Ellie’s advice popped into my head. What would happen to us if I revealed all my secrets as Ellie advised? Of course, I had faith that Luna wouldn’t leave me. But when I actually tried to bring it up, a feeling similar to impatience bloomed in my heart.
It feels like my tongue is swollen and I can’t speak. So, without realizing it, I brought up something else. Because running away is always the easiest choice.
“…Have you eaten?”
“No, I haven’t eaten yet because I wanted to eat with Ross.”
The way she touched her stomach as if she was hungry just looked cute.
“Then shall we go out?”
“Okay.”
We immediately left the academy and headed to a pizza place. After happily chatting and sharing pizza and pasta, we walked down the street. Because it was winter, I put Luna’s hand, which I was holding, into my coat pocket. I asked while touching her constantly wiggling fingers.
“What should we do?”
It would be nice to have the rest of our conversation at a cafe since it’s cold, and it wouldn’t be bad to look around the shops inside the portal station. After thinking for a moment, Luna suggested we go to the clubroom to rest.
It belatedly occurred to me that Luna might be tired from coming to the capital from the East. When I nodded with an apologetic expression, Luna smiled and added that although other places were nice, being together in the clubroom was the most comfortable.
As soon as we returned to the clubroom, I took out the expensive tea leaves that I had put in the space warehouse in preparation for times like this and brewed tea.
When I brought out the tea with dessert, Luna happily thanked me. The way she blew on the tea and took a sip looked cute. A little dangerously so.
The academy had temperature control artifacts installed, so unlike the cold winter winds outside, it was warm enough to wear short sleeves. So, as soon as we arrived at the clubroom, we took off the layers of clothes we had been wearing and neatly folded them.
Luna, who was wearing thin, comfortable clothes inside because she had been wearing so many layers, was showing off the heaviness she had been hiding with her usual uniform. I scratched my forehead for no reason as I watched her comfortably eat dessert, placing the cushion next to the sofa on her thighs as if to support her heavy breasts.
Could it be that the reason she came to the clubroom instead of a cafe was… because she felt the same way I did?
Kane is currently camping in the snowy mountains, conducting alchemy experiments. If I get rid of the closet, I can solve the problem of uninvited guests suddenly breaking the mood.
I licked my lips and thought for a moment. I’ll get up from my seat, get rid of the closet, and sit down, subtly touching my thigh against hers to set the mood. If I hold her hand and naturally move on to a kiss, I can leave the rest to my masculine instincts.
I was about to get up from my seat with that determination when I felt a gaze on my face. Luna was quietly looking into my eyes.
It seems she thought it was strange that I was lost in thought without saying anything. Before I could make an excuse in embarrassment, Luna removed the cushion supporting her chest and took my hand.
“Ross, is there something you want to say?”
“Huh?”
“It seems like you’ve had something to say to me for a while now, and you’re worried about how to bring it up.”
Actually, I was having lewd thoughts, but what Luna said wasn’t wrong either. I had been constantly worrying about how to bring up the memory transfer while eating. I thought I wasn’t showing it on the outside, but it seems Luna noticed my worries.
I sighed. It didn’t seem like enough, so I cleared my throat for no reason, and Luna gently stroked the back of my hand as if to say it was okay.
“Tell me. I want to hear Ross’s worries.”
Until I heard those words, I was going to make excuses with other words. I was going to lie to get out of the situation, saying that I was just having lewd thoughts. But the moment I saw Luna looking straight at me and waiting for my answer, my brain stopped functioning.
“I deceived you. Not just you, but everyone I knew….”
My voice trailed off. Luna quietly waited for me to continue. Once I spoke, it wasn’t difficult to continue.
“I have a big secret. It’s a secret that even if you find out and say you can’t trust me anymore, I won’t be able to make any excuses.”
My palms are sweaty. I’m sweating from nervousness. My neck feels itchy for no reason, and I want to scratch my head. But at this moment, as we face each other side by side and hold hands, I realized that I shouldn’t run away anymore.
Letting go of the hand I was holding, I held out my hand and created a snow globe with Memorize magic. Because there were so many memories to convey, I used up all the magic power I had, feeling a little dizzy, but I fixed my gaze on Luna and said.
“I received advice. To tell you my secret… that you would feel the same way. So I worried for a long time and was finally able to make up my mind.”
I realized now that Ellie was right. Luna’s expression as she looked at me was no different from usual. She wasn’t hiding any surprise or embarrassment. Luna was really waiting for me to tell her everything someday.
“I don’t know what the result will be, but I’ve decided not to deceive you anymore.”
My heart is pounding violently. It’s a throbbing that feels like a sense of déjà vu, reminding me of when I first met Luna and fell in love. Right now, fear is greater than excitement. This is a separate issue from faith.
Because I, who was born from lies, am throwing away the excellent self-defense mechanism that I have honed throughout my life of lies, which is a contradictory thing.
To put it accurately, it’s embarrassment. It’s like showing off to Luna how ugly, selfish, and a liar I am.
“If you put your hand here, you’ll be able to know the secret I’ve been hiding.”
I wondered what kind of expression I was making. Whatever it was, I never wanted to know it in my life. Because it would be an expression I would never want to make in front of Luna again.
As soon as I finished speaking, Luna carefully reached out her hand towards the snow globe. Her slowly approaching hand felt like it was tightening around my neck. When Luna’s fingertips finally touched the snow globe, I gasped.
The snow globe glowed and disappeared as if melting. It was too difficult to watch Luna, who had her eyes closed with her hand on mine. It felt like 1 second was stretched out endlessly. An endless impulse to get up from my seat and run away anywhere surged.
Luna, who slowly opened her eyes, looked at me. I couldn’t look straight at that gaze. It felt like the ground beneath my feet had collapsed.
Now I, we….
Luna’s hand, which had been giving me warmth on my hand, fell. In that moment, I felt like my heart was freezing. I forgot to breathe, so I didn’t even think about opening my mouth to make excuses.
Luna has many legitimate reasons to hate me. Unlike the other world, the fact that she gained a disability and was ostracized from the Magic Engineering Department was because of me. Even if she hits me, curses me, and curses me, it’s not enough as atonement.
But Luna did something I never expected. It was an action that even the writer’s perspective couldn’t read.
Luna was holding my outstretched hand tightly, and with her uncomfortable left hand, she was desperately holding up a cushion to cover her face.
I couldn’t grasp the meaning of that action. The hand holding mine tightly felt as if she was telling me not to leave her, which didn’t seem like a rejection that she didn’t even want to see my face. If so, what was the reason for covering her face?
At that time, I could see what the cushion hadn’t covered. It was Luna’s ears, which had turned bright red, unlike usual.
Even though there are clues, my head isn’t working. As I stared blankly at Luna, a fumbling voice was heard from behind the cushion, like a murmur.
“Ro, Ross… or should I call you Jin Shian…? Have, have you had a hard time all this time? Su, suddenly possessing Ross without knowing why… Being misunderstood even when doing good things….”
It’s definitely a voice comforting me. Luna was more worried about me, who had been possessing Ross without knowing why and had suffered all kinds of hardships, than about being deceived.
So I understood even less. Then why is Luna hiding her face behind the cushion?
I desperately overworked my brain, which wasn’t functioning properly. The clues are Memorize magic and Luna’s red ears. With just the given clues, I should be able to reach the answer. Finally, I reached a conclusion that I couldn’t accept without confirming it myself.
I slowly slid off the sofa and approached Luna. I could feel Luna’s shoulders flinching as she felt my movement, but I couldn’t resist the urge to confirm the answer, and I carefully lowered Luna’s hand holding the cushion with my trembling hands.
I could see her reflexively closing her eyes as the cushion covering her face was lowered. Her face was flushed bright red, and I was dumbfounded by the fact that my guess was correct, but I was so happy that a hollow laugh escaped.
Memorize magic doesn’t just convey memories. It also conveys the emotions I felt at the time, which I don’t remember. And the memories I showed Luna included all the memories of meeting Luna.
That means that all the memories and emotions of every moment I fell in love with Luna every day… were all vividly conveyed.
I stopped breathing without realizing it. I suddenly felt my face getting hot. A completely unexpected problem plunged us into silence.
Even though we were speechless for a long time, we never let go of each other’s sweaty, sticky hands.
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