The Hero’s Brother Can Only Be Depressed. However,

Roel is loved by everyone. He has a handsome face that makes women, who didn’t even know what excitement about the opposite sex was, feel their hearts pound just by making eye contact, and he even has the ability to make a good first impression on anyone.

Furthermore, he is naturally talented, and he is a perfect being that everyone wants as a friend and lover, with a diligent and well-rounded personality that allows him to get along with everyone.

,Roel is so outstanding that he has never experienced failure. Even when he was young, he was the best in the village.”

Ellie nodded in agreement with my words.

,That’s right, honestly, there’s no one I think of as a rival to Roel Oppa.”

,That’s why the plausibility kicked in.”

,What…?”

I smiled bitterly at Ellie, who was tilting her head, and asked.

,I had a conversation with you in my world. The day I first met Roel. You thought Roel was ‘wearing a mask like me.'”

,…That’s right. It was such an amazing first impression that I still remember it. Roel Oppa was close to perfection in the calculated smile that I practiced so hard when I was young to look good to others.”

I put down the chalk. My heart is beating wildly. It’s the moment when Roel’s secret, which I couldn’t solve in the past and buried, is revealed. But why do I feel worse than I thought?

I sighed and said.

,The day I unfairly got scolded for pushing Rose in the mountains and hurting her. Do you remember? You must have met Roel.”

Ellie bit her lip as if she felt a strange anxiety and nodded slightly.

,…Yeah. I remember it clearly. Crying and being sad… Roel Oppa was wearing a very sad smile. I don’t know if you heard, but actually, that was the day I fell for Roel Oppa.”

I took a deep breath. Could Ellie really not have noticed this sense of incongruity?

,Have you ever wondered why Roel cried?”

,That’s… Isn’t it because you were being scolded so harshly…?”

Ellie’s expression was dark as she said that. She seems to know that she herself is not convincing.

,If he was so sad that I was being scolded, would Roel have a reason to smile?”

,That’s….”

I swept my face once, feeling a strange emotion that was neither anger nor joy, at Ellie’s appearance, who was speechless as if she had realized the contradiction.

,The reason Roel smiled is because I cried.”

Ellie frowned slightly at my confident voice.

,…That’s too far-fetched. You know better than anyone that Roel Oppa isn’t the kind of person who would do that. He is someone who sincerely empathizes with other people’s sadness and sheds tears. Do you really think Roel Oppa smiled with a dark joy because you cried?”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Ellie’s serious question. I know better than anyone that Roel isn’t that kind of person. But my words were clearly the truth.

,Ellie, your perspective is wrong.”

,What…?”

I punched the word [Plausibility] written on the blackboard.

,You should have thought from Roel’s perspective, who benefits from plausibility, not from my perspective as the victim.”

Ellie looked at me without saying a word.

,The reason Roel smiled wasn’t because I cried. It’s not even because I was being scolded harshly. Roel just… experienced the emotion of my sadness, which was filled with injustice, for the first time.”

,Huh…?”

Ellie froze. She literally stopped breathing and stared at me, frozen in place. I felt something welling up in my chest at the truth I had realized. I couldn’t suppress it even if I wanted to. It seems that the old inferiority complex that has taken root in me is revealing its presence.

Tears welled up in Ellie’s obsidian-like eyes as she looked at me. From that appearance, I could tell that she had realized the truth. The pitying gaze amplified my inferiority complex and made my voice louder.

,The perfect Roel has never stumbled stupidly on something, or made a mistake and been scolded, right? That was the responsibility of his stupid and clumsy younger brother, who is a lump of inferiority.”

,….”

,He’s never experienced the embarrassment of being scolded in front of everyone or being rejected when asking friends to play together. Thanks to his looks, he gets good favor from everyone, he’s never been bullied for no reason, and he’s never been scolded by the villagers.”

Roel is a perfect person who is loved by everyone. He’s someone who has never been subjected to unwarranted contempt or denial like me.

,Roel is someone who can sincerely empathize with other people’s sadness and cry with them. Everyone who knows Roel thinks so. Because that’s the truth. Roel is always sincere, not acting.”

Ellie looked at me. Straight at me with tearful eyes. It was a look that realized what kind of existence I was to Roel, what kind of meaning I had. Suddenly, I felt an urge to turn around and run away somewhere. Because my very existence was embarrassing and awkward. But I didn’t. It would be more accurate to say that I gave up because I didn’t have the strength in my legs. The truth was that shocking to me as well.

,That’s why it’s a contradiction. How can Roel, who has never experienced sadness, empathize with other people’s sadness and shed tears? How can he know that that place is the bottom if he hasn’t crawled on the floor?”

I had to stop talking to suppress the rising emotions. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have stopped expressing my anger until the blackboard and my fist were broken with all my might.

,That’s why plausibility kicked in. For Roel, who never fails even once. For Roel, who is easily loved by everyone. For the perfect Roel, who doesn’t know the tragedy of an inferior person who has no choice but to crawl desperately on the floor!!!”

I shouted. No, it would be more accurate to say that I wailed. It’s not anger. It’s just that my inferiority complex has reached its peak. Because I realized once again, deep in my bones, that my existence is expendable.

I smiled. No, it would be more accurate to say that I twisted the corners of my mouth because I had been crying since who knows when. My legs gave way, and I sat down on the floor, and I continued to explain in a steady voice to Ellie, who was showing me tears.

,The inferiority-ridden younger brother, who fails every time, experiences the bottom, and is caught up by his brother no matter what he does, experiences the depressing and self-loathing emotions that Roel can never feel every day. That’s why plausibility kicked in. Me, me….”

I’m suffocating. The instinct towards Ellie refuses to speak. It refuses to reveal to Ellie how embarrassing she is. But as Ellie’s big eyes, filled with tears, looked up at me, I had no choice but to smile bitterly and blurt it out.

What answer did plausibility give to Roel’s appearance in the novel, who understands emotions he has never experienced? It’s simple.

,If I make Roel feel everything about Ross, the depressed failure who is the complete opposite of the perfect Roel and who struggles with inferiority all his life, Roel’s contradiction will be resolved. Because he will be able to make Roel, who has never experienced it, realize the sadness, loneliness, and torment that Ross experiences every day.”

After finishing the explanation, I cried. Not only did I shed tears, but I leaned against the blackboard like a child, sat down, buried my face in my knees, and cried endlessly.

I revealed everything in front of the girl I once loved the most. What my existence means in this world. For what reason Ross was able to be born.

Ross was a pain doll created to convey the sadness he felt. It is a role to be pricked with needles, kicked in the foot, and rolled in the mud. No one reaches out to stroke a dirty doll.

Plausibility tells me. Isn’t the explanation for Ross, who has lived in loneliness and inferiority all his life, more plausible now? I, who was a writer, had no choice but to nod without any excuses.

The inferiority-ridden expendable character was not a simple one-time character. It was an expendable character who sacrificed his entire life for the protagonist, Roel.

I curled up. I curled up my whole body as small as a fetus. I wanted to hide my embarrassing existence even by doing so. I wanted to disappear and become a small dot.

But a warm warmth embraced me. Ellie brought her face close to my head, which was buried in my knees and didn’t lift up, and desperately said to me.

,No. You weren’t born just for that. I know better than anyone in the world.”

I wanted to deny Ellie’s words. I wanted to ask her if she knew the truth too. So I lifted my head, but I met Ellie’s eyes and was speechless.

Ellie was no longer crying. Her eyes were swollen and her face was a mess with tear stains, but she met my eyes and smiled kindly to comfort me, suppressing all the emotions she felt.

Ellie said.

,Ross, you are my only childhood friend and the most precious person in my life that I realized late. No one, not even for a moment, could have replaced you.”

Tears flowed out on their own to the point where Ellie’s smile looked blurry. Ellie stroked my trembling shoulders.

,Your life is just beginning. It may have been rough and so hard that you wanted to give up, but the ending of your story will surely be full of happiness. You will be able to feel several times more joy than the sadness you have felt so far. I can promise you that you will definitely meet better friends and loved ones than me. Because you’re a good kid. Surely a wonderful reward awaits you.”

The members of Messiah came to my mind at Ellie’s words. The reliable friend Lacar, Kane who started a new life, the playful Aria… and even Luna, whom I love. I wanted to see everyone.

The strength in my shoulders was released. My body, which had been shrinking endlessly, relaxed, and I felt Ellie’s warmth, which had been embracing me, even more warmly. I closed my eyes. Because of that, the tears that had been pooling in my eyes fell silently to the floor.

And when I opened my eyes again, I was finally able to look straight at Ellie, who was crying silently.

,…There’s someone waiting for me to come back.”

Ellie smiled endlessly kindly at my words.

,Yeah, I’ll help you get back home.”

Ellie got up and held out her hand to me. I was only able to get up after holding that hand.