Greed

「Synchronization rate 89%.」

I stared blankly at the message that appeared as I opened my eyes. Then, a cool hand gently stroked my cheek.

Startled by the sudden touch, I sat up. Estelle was sitting on a chair next to the bed, her face bare without her mask, staring at me blankly. As I met Estelle’s eyes, I could feel the worry filling her purple eyes, even though she didn’t say a word.

“Are you okay…? Does anything hurt…?”

I hadn’t seen her bare face often, but Estelle looked very tired right now. Her voice was also more hoarse than usual. It seemed she had been staying by my side until I woke up.

I nodded slightly, and Estelle pursed her lips, hesitated for a moment, and then cautiously reached out and placed her hand on my forehead.

I felt the heat from my forehead being sucked away by her cool touch. It didn’t feel bad, but rather refreshing. I closed my eyes for a moment without realizing it, and then belatedly wondered why I had closed my eyes and opened them again.

“Ugh….”

I groaned without realizing it. Estelle had come right up to my face without me noticing. I was the only one conscious of how close we were, our breaths almost mingling, while Estelle was just looking straight into my eyes with a worried expression.

Estelle took her hand off my forehead and said,

“The color of your eyes… seems a little darker. Or maybe ‘deeper’ is a better word? Anyway, it’s changed.”

“The color of my eyes…?”

“Yeah. It used to be a bright blue, but now it’s a slightly darker blue?”

I was distracted by Estelle’s face, which filled my entire field of vision, so I turned my head to look around. It must be the camp I had set up outside the dungeon. I raised my hand and pointed to the lamp hanging from the ceiling.

“Could it be because of the lighting?”

I said it as if it was nothing, but Estelle replied with a serious face.

“…Assassins usually have good night vision. We train separately to distinguish colors clearly in the dark with even a little moonlight. Especially me, I have even better eyes.”

When she said that much, I had nothing to say. When I closed my mouth, Estelle, who had been staring at me intently, straightened her upper body.

“…I was worried. I was afraid something might have gone wrong.”

For some reason, I didn’t want to have a serious conversation with Estelle. I would have been more comfortable if she had put on her mask and called me a ‘difficult pig!’ as usual. But I thought it would be even more awkward if I tried to change the mood now, so I sighed softly and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would turn out like this either.”

As I scratched my head, Estelle pouted her lips.

“…Idiot.”

For some reason, Estelle’s eyes seemed to be filled with tears. Could this also be because of the lamp’s lighting? A moment of silence fell. I felt a little burdened by Estelle’s gaze, which was fixed on me.

Breaking the silence, Estelle muttered softly in a tearful voice.

“The words ‘joint destiny’… I meant them sincerely.”

At Estelle’s words, I nodded.

“Of course, I’m sincere too.”

Was it the wrong choice to say that? Estelle’s shoulders trembled slightly, and she grabbed my hand. We looked at each other in silence for a moment. I could feel her cool hand being warmed by the warmth of my hand.

“…You’ve almost died several times while you’ve been with me. I, who have an irresistible restriction from the Order, have passed everything on to you….”

I could feel the strength in Estelle’s hand holding mine. Estelle, who was sniffing softly as if trying to swallow her tears, continued.

“…This isn’t the joint destiny I was thinking of. I’m… not being helpful to Ross. I’m only benefiting unilaterally.”

Estelle’s tearful eyes turned to me. Like the saying that eyes are the windows to the soul, the emotions of apology and worry contained in her gaze were conveyed to me without filtering.

Only then could I get one answer to the question I had been holding in my heart. The reason I didn’t want to have a serious conversation with Estelle. It was because I had lived my whole life as a coward who didn’t want to face anyone’s sincerity.

If it’s not serious, I can ignore the sincerity. I can act like I didn’t hear it, like I didn’t see it. That’s why I’ve been avoiding seriousness all along. And the target isn’t just Estelle. I was just afraid of the responsibility that comes with relationships with anyone. Yeah, the expression ‘a child who hasn’t become an adult’ suits me.

But with Estelle’s sincerity in front of me, I couldn’t turn my back and pretend not to know again. Like she said, we have a joint destiny. I sincerely want her to be happy. Then I have to face Estelle sincerely too.

I took a breath for a moment. Even though it’s winter, I can smell the scent of spring. It’s Estelle’s scent. I said in a slightly lower voice than usual.

“You don’t know how much you’re helping me, Estelle-ssi. In the first place, it’s because of my request that you came to the Valley of Death with me.”

Estelle’s beautiful brow furrowed for a moment, as if she had accepted my words as persuasion.

“…I’m not helping with the most important work of the Order at all. Even if Konfucion attacks again… I can only helplessly watch you get hurt.”

I couldn’t help but smile because Estelle, who was speaking weakly, felt cute. It felt like I was soothing a child who was trembling with anxiety.

“I already knew that. In the first place, what’s the reason we became a joint destiny? Isn’t it to complement each other’s shortcomings for the sake of common happiness?”

Estelle tried to refute something, but I quickly continued. For some reason, words came out easily even though I didn’t think about it. Maybe it was the sincerity about Estelle that was in my heart that flowed out of my mouth?

“If you hadn’t warned me, Estelle-ssi, I would have died without any resistance. It’s not that I almost died several times because you didn’t help me, but that I saved my life several times thanks to your warning.”

At those words, Estelle smiled, showing her teeth slightly, as if she was happy.

“You’re a great help to me, Estelle-ssi. Rather, I was thinking that I was in debt to you. Because I’m usually the one who asks for favors unilaterally. If you add the value of my life to that… you’re no different from a benefactor to me, Estelle-ssi.”

When I thought about it, I wondered if I had ever seriously thanked Estelle. I had never felt burdened about asking for favors because of Estelle’s usual grumbling and insults.

Maybe I was so obsessed with the setting of Estelle being a masochist that I didn’t see the consideration contained within.

When I thought about it, there was nothing negative in Estelle’s annoyance and grumbling. The belief that she would always grant my requests had strangely taken root in my heart.

“Still….”

Seeing Estelle stubbornly refusing to give up her gloominess, I raised the hand I was holding. Only then did she realize that we had been holding hands until now, and she belatedly shrugged and tried to pull her hand away.

But I didn’t let go of her escaping hand. Rather, I put my hand between her receding fingers and intertwined them.

Estelle gasped, surprised by my actions.

So that Estelle wouldn’t be immersed in gloominess any longer, I deliberately said with a playful expression.

“I’m honored to be your joint destiny, Estelle-ssi.”

Seeing Estelle stammering and lowering her head to avoid my gaze, I put a little strength into our intertwined hands.

When I gestured to Estelle, who had slightly raised her head, that I was waiting for an answer, Estelle raised her voice tone a little.

“I also… think I’m lucky that Ross is my joint destiny.”

After saying that, Estelle looked at me in silence for a moment and added.

“…It was really a rational choice.”

Only then did I smile at Estelle’s smiling face and pull out our intertwined hands. Now she would have enough warmth.

When I got out of bed, Estelle yawned widely. She must be tired after all.

“How long have I been asleep?”

Still, this penalty had a relatively small amount of beads. Estelle, who had finished yawning, held up three fingers.

“Three days. Lloyd said there was nothing wrong with your body, so we decided to wait at the camp until you woke up.”

I nodded and stretched out my stiff body. Estelle, who was wriggling into the bed I had been lying on, asked in a small voice.

“Did you get the Spear of Shadows?”

At that question, I remembered something I had forgotten. As I thought about the Spear of Shadows, I instinctively knew what to do in my head.

With a confident attitude, I visualized the appearance of the Spear of Shadows in my mind. Then, the Spear of Shadows, which had a similar design to the Spear of Destruction, was instantly manifested in my hand.

“Wow… that’s a relief. Now we can go back to the capital.”

Estelle seemed a little surprised and widened her eyes while leaning her head on the pillow. Then, she smiled contentedly and closed her eyes.

“…Then I’ll just get some sleep.”

As Estelle said that and pulled the blanket up to her neck, I willed the Spear of Shadows to disappear and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

“Shall I sing you a lullaby?”

I threw out a joke thinking about the usual Estelle, but the current Estelle had her bare face. Estelle replied in a voice half-asleep.

“…Please.”

I didn’t really expect to sing a lullaby, so I stared blankly at Estelle with a flustered face. Estelle, who had gently opened her closed eyes, gave me a playful smile.

“I’m just kidding… Just stay by my side until I fall asleep.”

With a sigh of relief, I said I understood. Perhaps she was very tired, because not long after, Estelle’s even breathing began to be heard softly.

I looked at Estelle’s face as she fell asleep. Our relationship isn’t dependence. We’re just helping each other. But as time goes by, the area of our relationship widens.

From a business relationship, it feels like we’ve become family. The lovely girl with the smallest height in the academy has somehow started to feel like a reliable older sister.

Me, who was born from lies, and Estelle, who has to live with lies. Is it because we’re people with the same shortcomings that I’m feeling a sense of kinship on my own?

At first, my goal was the happiness of the club members. But I had the greed to add Estelle to that as well. To achieve the greed that is gradually growing, there is only one way.

“…Let’s get stronger.”

So that no one precious to me gets hurt.