Silent Murder

Thanks to running like hell, I barely managed to grab Kane before he stepped into the portal. For a smooth conversation, we headed to a cafe inside the portal station.

Deliberately searching for a cafe with few customers, we sat at a secluded table in a corner, hidden by partitions.

The inside of the shop, with its soft music, was quiet. Even the cafe owner had a face that didn’t change expressions, making it the perfect place for a serious conversation.

,Don’t you have anything to say to me?

I asked curtly, glancing over the menu. Kane didn’t answer. So, I took the liberty of ordering two milk coffees and returned to my seat.

,I thought we were friends.

My voice might have been a little cold. But compared to the betrayal I felt, this was nothing. I shook my head as if disappointed and asked.

,Was I really the only one who thought so?

Kane gave a bitter smile and shook his head slightly.

,I was happy to be friends with you too.

With those words, Kane closed his mouth again. A moment of silence passed. I returned to the table with a tray holding two milk coffees.

We drank our coffee in silence. I thought about speaking first, but decided to give him time to sort out his thoughts without rushing him.

Finally, Kane seemed to have finished thinking and broke the silence.

,…How did you know?

,How could I not? I’m the club president.

,I see.

Seeing Kane’s bitter smile, I leaned back in my chair. Where should I start? After a moment of contemplation, I opened my mouth.

,When I returned to the clubroom after sending you guys off, I felt a sense of déjà vu. It reminded me of when I came back after sending you off during summer vacation. Thanks to that, I could feel that something in the clubroom had changed.

Kane silently lifted his glass. I continued my explanation.

,What could have changed? I looked around the clubroom and realized. The alchemy table, which was always a mess, was neatly organized without any signs of use.

One might think that I simply cleaned up the messy table for the winter vacation. But considering Kane’s actions during the summer vacation, there must be a special reason for cleaning up the alchemy table.

,You didn’t clean up the alchemy table during the summer vacation. Since you were the only one using it anyway, you probably didn’t think there was any need to. You were planning to use it as is when you returned, so you told me there was no need to clean it either.

Kane was silent. I subtly observed his expression and continued.

,But this time, unlike the summer vacation, you cleaned up the alchemy table neatly. Why? Because you weren’t planning on returning to the academy. Am I wrong?

I looked straight at Kane. Kane gave a bitter smile and nodded. Kane’s sickly appearance felt even more pathetic today.

,…That’s right, that’s why I cleaned it up. I couldn’t just pass the cleaning onto you guys. You’re really the club president. To figure out my thoughts with just that.

Even with Kane’s compliment, I didn’t relax my gaze.

,If you thought that much about us, you should have told us. Asked for help.

,…I didn’t want to cause any more trouble for you guys.

Kane said, smiling. It was a very tired, gloomy smile. It didn’t seem like Kane was going to explain the reason. I took a sip of my coffee and looked at the carrier, asking.

,The Kalikum Root. You have it, right?

Kane, realizing that my gaze was fixed on the carrier, chuckled and said.

,…How did you know that too?

Kane was the one who stole the Kalikum Root. As Navier-ssi said, it’s impossible to break in through the window by climbing the outer wall. In that case, you’d have to use the corridor on the 5th floor central staircase, but the thief who raided the alchemy department warehouse didn’t use the staircase corridor. It was practically the work of a ghost.

But I knew the method. A way to open the warehouse without using the 5th floor staircase corridor and without leaving any traces.

It’s a simple method that’s barely even worth calling a trick. By simply moving the closet in the clubroom, you can move to the secret passage that exists on the 5th floor. With that method, there’s no need to use the central staircase.

In addition, we had the club badge that we received from Headmaster Nelson. Wearing the badge allows you to enter anywhere in the school. Even the alchemy department warehouse, which must be entered with a professor in charge, could be entered alone with just the badge.

At first, I was doubtful. I wondered if there would be a club member who would use the closet in the clubroom and steal poisonous herbs from the warehouse using the badge. But I could tell by looking at the cleaned-up alchemy table. Kane erased his traces left in the clubroom. Although I didn’t check, Kane’s room would probably be neatly organized as well.

Because Kane wasn’t planning on returning to the academy. I suppressed my anger and asked in a low voice.

,The reason you weren’t planning on returning to the academy… was it because you were planning to commit suicide?

At my question, Kane lowered his head with sad eyes.

,…I’m starting to understand a little why Lacar always says that the club president is amazing.

,Stop talking nonsense and answer me. Were you really planning to do that?

,Yeah, that’s right.

Kane’s voice contained a low laugh. Without realizing it, I clenched my fist and glared at Kane.

,But I wasn’t planning on dying alone.

At the following words, my eyes widened.

,I was planning on dying with everyone in the Yousef family.

Kane, saying that, had a determined look on his face. I knew that Kane’s family situation, as an illegitimate child, was complicated. But I don’t know the details.

I had a conversation with Kane in the Bold Mountains. I couldn’t ask because Kane didn’t seem to want to talk about his family, but now I had no choice but to ask.

,You said before that you had to go back to your family in the winter… Don’t tell me you’ve been planning this since then?

Kane smiled and shook his head.

,Maybe… that’s probably it.

I frowned at the ambiguous answer.

,Say it clearly.

,I was still hesitating until today. Because I really liked being with you guys. So, I was going to give up on the plan as always… But now, the situation has become unavoidable.

I have no idea what situation Kane is facing. Maybe I wasn’t interested in Kane at all. Even though I was by his side, I didn’t know that Kane was falling apart. I’m even angry at my indifference.

Was my goal of protecting precious people just words? The facade of being a precious friend ultimately failed to help Kane.

I ran a hand over my face and emptied the coffee in my glass to compose myself, asking.

,Can I ask why you thought that way?

At my cautious question, Kane gave a faint smile.

,If you promise not to stop me from leaving after the explanation… I’ll tell you about my past that I haven’t told anyone.

I had a feeling that if I rejected the offer here, I would never be able to hear the truth from Kane’s mouth. Even if I forcibly took the carrier and locked him in the clubroom, Kane would remain silent forever.

After a moment of contemplation, I said.

,I promise.

At my answer, Kane looked up at the ceiling of the cafe for a moment. After the silence, a long sigh escaped from his mouth.

,You remember that I’m the youngest and an illegitimate child of the Yousef family, right?

Kane’s gaze came down from the ceiling to me. Of course, I remember. I had heard from Kane that his name was Kane Van Yousef, that he was the youngest of seven siblings and an illegitimate child, and that he was the only one in the family who practiced alchemy.

When I nodded, Kane rubbed his forehead and said.

,Being an illegitimate child is proof of adultery that’s alive and moving right in front of you. It’s an existence that’s not loved by anyone in the family. Even to the person called father, I’m a shameful existence that he wants to hide. I’ve been a negative existence since I was born.

At Kane’s words, I felt a strange sense of kinship. We were both proof of being born from lies.

Kane, with a bitter smile, continued.

,Still, I had a mother who uniquely cherished and loved me. Since I was young, I lived with my mother in a small detached house in the family.

Kane, smiling faintly as if recalling the past, suddenly asked a question out of context.

,Ross, do you know what happens if you become someone who is nothing to anyone?

I didn’t understand the meaning of the question. When I shook my head slightly, Kane tapped his thigh and said in a calm voice.

,You die while you’re still alive.

,….

,The first moment I remember is a family gathering. It was the first time I had ever seen such a huge cake and mountains of delicious food. It couldn’t help but remain vividly in a child’s memory. As I sat next to my mother, eating cake and feeling happy, I felt something strange. No one was looking at me or my mother. It was as if we were invisible.

I could see Kane biting his lip. I waited for Kane to continue without saying anything.

,I realized it after growing up to some extent. The people in the family completely treated our mother and me as if we didn’t exist. Even when they were having a pleasant conversation, if our mother started talking, they would all stop talking and pretend they didn’t hear anything. They deliberately created silence to make her feel embarrassed. And then they would start talking among themselves again. As if they hadn’t heard anything at all.

No matter what my mother said, it was a voice that they couldn’t hear. Even to my young eyes, my mother tried so hard to join the conversation that it was pitiful. I was very ashamed of my mother. I didn’t understand why she was so desperate even while being ignored like that.

Kane’s lips trembled. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and Kane, stroking his lips for a moment, was looking at me, but his gaze wasn’t directed at me.

,When I reached a certain age, we had to leave the detached house. Even if I was an illegitimate child, I had to receive basic education. We were forced to eat together every day in a place where the family gathered. My mother, who had become invisible, slowly withered away in the indifference of the people.

She couldn’t talk to anyone except me, and she spent most of her time locked in her room, lying weakly in bed. No one came to visit us. No one spoke to us. We were living corpses. Corpses that couldn’t talk to anyone. Even the servants treated us as if we were invisible.

I learned through books why we were being treated that way. Because we were the woman who had an affair with the head of the family and the result of that affair. It was a natural treatment. We must have been an existence that they wanted to deny. An existence that they didn’t even despise or humiliate… such an existence.

Kane wiped away the tears that were flowing down. Kane, clenching his tear-stained hand tightly, burst into a hollow laugh.

,For several years, my mother’s emotions slowly dried up like that. The voice that used to tell me she loved me every day eventually lost its vitality, and her body collapsed to the point where she couldn’t even walk anymore. The disease of the mind finally gnawed away at my mother’s body. I watched all of that from the side at a young age.

Kane raised the corners of his mouth. It was clearly an act that could be called a smile, but to me, it felt like a silent scream.

,I couldn’t ask anyone for help, and I was just watching my mother die quietly.

Kane, saying that, smiled faintly while holding back tears.