Contradiction

I can’t explain it exactly, but if I had to force myself to express it, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu.

The word ‘Ellie’ that I blurted out didn’t bring back any memories, but the sweet strawberry scent at the tip of my nose and the obsidian eyes staring straight at me felt unfamiliar, yet somehow nostalgic.

,…Ross, did you perhaps regain your memories?

At Ellie’s cautious question, I slowly shook my head with a puzzled expression. The question of whether my memories had returned felt a bit out of context to me.

No matter how much I retraced my memories, the Ellie before my eyes was a complete stranger. It wasn’t even a face I had glimpsed while passing by in the hallway. Her face wasn’t the kind of beauty that was easily forgotten.

Perhaps my answer was disappointing, as the image of me reflected in her obsidian eyes trembled slightly. Ellie, who bit her lip tightly, lowered her gaze slightly. It was a fragile appearance that would make any man waver, but for some reason, I felt a sense of revulsion slowly rising from the depths of my emotions.

I felt like sighing, but sighing in front of someone I was meeting for the first time was impolite. Unable to do either, a moment of silence passed.

Originally, I had been organizing in my head what to ask Roel’s heroine in advance. But as I stood before her, my mind felt empty, so I asked whatever came to mind to break the silence.

,Actually, I heard you were Hyung’s girlfriend, so I came to ask something…

I wondered if I could speak informally, but I remembered that Ellie had spoken informally first, so I dropped the honorifics.

I could see Ellie’s shoulders flinch at the mention of Hyung’s girlfriend. After a moment, Ellie reluctantly nodded slightly, but her expression clearly showed that she didn’t want to answer.

I was curious about the reason, but I pretended not to notice and asked casually.

,Hyung… I mean, when did you start dating Roel?

For some reason, my throat felt hot. I felt a strange heat mixed in with the words that came out.

At my question, Ellie raised her lowered gaze and looked straight at me.

It was an enchanting gaze. The gloom in her eyes made me feel a sense of kinship. Roel’s lover having such gloomy eyes… frankly, it didn’t suit him.

However, I didn’t commit the rude act of voicing my impressions. I simply waited for an answer.

Ellie, who had been hesitating for a moment, spoke.

,…Before summer vacation started.

I scratched my head. I thought that if I met and talked in person, something might come to mind, but perhaps that was too optimistic.

Perhaps my expression revealed my feelings, as Ellie took a step closer. Because of that, the sweet strawberry scent felt even stronger.

,…Don’t you remember meeting me a few times after the triathlon? We even greeted each other… and talked.

It wouldn’t be pleasant for the other person to not be remembered at all by someone they had even talked to. Although I doubted the truth of the statement that we had talked since I had no memory of it, I had to maintain a humble attitude as the one asking.

,…Sorry. I’m not good at remembering people’s faces.

Ellie, having confirmed once again that I didn’t remember her, nodded weakly, saying, ,I see,, with an expression that looked like she was about to cry.

Ellie fidgeted with her fingers for a moment, looking at her shoes, before asking in a small voice.

,Don’t you remember anything about me…?

,…I’m sorry.

Ellie’s gaze at me was wavering. With an expression that she didn’t understand my answer, Ellie bit her lip.

,We were so close… We were always together in the village, and we were called the Three Musketeers with Roel Oppa… You don’t even remember that I was your childhood friend?

At Ellie’s words, I reflexively frowned. I didn’t have Ross’s memories from before the possession. But if the name to be entered in the ■■ in the character setting was Ellie, then those words would be true.

Because Roel’s last heroine is set to be the top student in the first grade and the top student in the magic department.

The character setting was based on the novel I wrote. But I had no memory of creating a character named Ellie at all. I didn’t remember her appearance or her personality. I had forgotten Ellie’s existence itself.

Ellie swallowed a groan. It was an awkward situation. The person who had been grabbed didn’t know anything and was just muttering apologies and keeping their mouth shut.

As I silently lowered my gaze and touched my forehead, a pure white hand suddenly appeared in my field of vision. When I slowly raised my head, Ellie, who had been staring at me intently, opened her mouth with a strange look in her eyes.

,Shall I… help you find your memories?

At Ellie’s appearance, smiling faintly as she said that, a strange feeling welled up in a corner of my heart. I felt that Ellie’s voice had a vitality that was different from before.

Whether anxiety and excitement were emotions separated by a single sheet of paper, I moistened my dry lips with my tongue.

,How?

At my question, Ellie smiled slightly, looked around, turned her body, and started walking. Pushing the lingering unpleasant feeling to one side, I followed Ellie.

Although she didn’t look back, Ellie headed towards the main building at a leisurely pace, as if she had heard the sound of me following. After climbing the central staircase for a long time, we arrived at a secluded empty classroom where people would never accidentally set foot.

I followed Ellie, who had entered the classroom first, and closed the door. When I turned around, Ellie was standing tall in the middle of the classroom, with her back to me.

The classroom window was open, and the autumn sunset breeze shook her bangs. Ellie, enveloped in the fading sunlight, turned her body. I couldn’t tell what kind of expression she was making because of the backlight.

Ellie approached me at a slow pace. Crossing the tacit social distance between men and women, she came close enough that I could hug her if I raised my hand.

,…The way to regain your memories is simple.

As Ellie said that, she suddenly hugged me. I felt like the sweet strawberry scent was enveloping my whole body. I tried to grab Ellie’s shoulders and push her away, but I couldn’t push her away at all.

It wasn’t because I lacked strength. It was because I knew that Ellie, who was hugging me, was crying. But I couldn’t keep hugging a woman I didn’t know.

I tried to grab Ellie’s trembling shoulders and pull her away. But Ellie’s actions were faster. Ellie raised her head from my arms and brought her face close to mine.

My palm blocked Ellie’s mouth. I didn’t like the soft sensation I felt on my palm. The sweet strawberry scent that seemed to permeate my whole body made me nauseous.

[Restriction has been activated.]

A sense of emptiness and fatigue, as if all the blood had drained from my body, came over me. Distorting my face, I barely pushed Ellie away. I said to Ellie, who had been pushed back weakly, with contempt.

,You… haven’t changed at all.

My memories returned at Ellie’s actions. As if it had never happened, the strawberry scent no longer felt sweet. It was unpleasant and made me nauseous. It was the revulsion created by Ellie’s first kiss.

Ellie, who raised her hand and wiped away her tears, gave a very lonely smile.

,I told you. I’d help you find your memories.

At those words, my emotions surged.

,You weren’t trying to use me again, who has no memories?

Ellie pressed her lips tightly at my sarcasm. I sighed and roughly ran my hand over my face.

,Forget it. It’s not like I expected anything anyway.

Ellie swallowed her sobs at my indifferent words. In the silence, I recalled what I felt was off about Roel being a regressor, based on the memories I had regained.

,You said that you confessed to Roel several times after entering the academy last time, but you were rejected.

At my question, Ellie flinched and nodded slightly.

,…Yes.

,Do you know why Roel rejected you?

,…Because you like me.

It was a reason I knew better than anyone else. It was Ross’s plan to take advantage of Hyung’s personality. But if Roel was a regressor, the story would be completely different. I asked again to confirm accurately.

,Is that your opinion? Or did Roel say it directly?

With slightly sunken eyes, Ellie thought for a moment and said.

,When I asked why he rejected me… Roel Oppa said. He said he couldn’t love you, who his younger brother loves….

I felt a sense of unease at Ellie’s words. If Roel was really a regressor from the original novel world, there was an impossible contradiction.

Just as there is a setting that Roel can put his heart into his voice, there is a setting that he will never give up on the lover he loves, no matter what.

Because he knew that Ellie had fallen into the trap of the cult, he risked his life to fight the cult leader.

If Roel had really regressed from the original novel world, he would have killed Ross, who sold his soul to the Demon King. Perhaps the guilt he had shown me all along was because of that.

But that wouldn’t be a reason to reject Ellie’s confession. A ‘protagonist’ of a novel shouldn’t hand over his lover for the sake of his younger brother who he killed.

There is no protagonist who gives away his heroines. Moreover, the personality and giving away that I set for Roel are completely opposite.

Ellie definitely said it before.

Roel wants to have everything he likes, and he doesn’t give up on anything.

That’s an accurate explanation.

Roel, with his indomitable spirit, saves his beloved and precious people from all kinds of tragedies.

For Roel to give up Ellie because of the guilt of killing his pathetic younger brother who sold his soul to the Demon King is a far cry from plausibility.

If Roel had really regressed, he would have honestly revealed his feelings to me, and even if it meant completely ruining his relationship with me, he would have chosen his beloved Ellie.

And Roel is the kind of person who would work hard to find a way to change my mind, even if everyone around him tried to stop him. He’s the kind of protagonist who gets cursed at, gets rejected coldly, but eventually gets forgiven by his younger brother with his sincerity, that’s ‘Roel’.

A sense of unease washes over me after a time lag. I swallowed without realizing it.

The novel [The Hero’s Harem Can’t Help But Win] ends with Roel, who killed the Demon King and reached a happy ending, living happily with his lovers.

Is there any reason for Roel to regress? Roel, who has already reached happiness…? The contradiction wasn’t just this.

If Roel really regressed to when he was a sophomore… why did he just leave the black magician alone?

If Roel had regressed, he would have definitely known. That the black magician was using the mutated orcs to wipe out the village.

But Roel didn’t make any moves until I stepped in. No, he was actually enjoying his academy life to the point of being carefree.

He didn’t even suspect that I was luring him to Destin Village. He even got injured by a mutated orc during the battle.

Could Roel, who had regressed, be injured by mere mutated orcs…? Why didn’t he prevent the black magician from attacking the academy in advance…? He nodded without any suspicion at my suggestion to give the Core of Chaos to Rosaline.

As I gasped for breath at the contradictions that poured out like a storm, Ellie asked with a worried expression.

,Ro, Ross…? Are you okay?

I looked into Ellie’s eyes. In an instant, countless contradictions merge into one question.

Is Roel really a regressor?