Scream

Our gazes tangled in the air. Looking into her obsidian eyes, where a thick emotion was melting, I opened my mouth with a dry voice devoid of intonation or emotion. There was no need to even think about this issue.

“I can’t.”

Ellie’s eyes wavered at my refusal. A bitter smile formed on my face at her expression, as if she had been betrayed.

“Why…?”

There are many reasons. The fact that Bella is the Crown Princess and plays an important role in the happy ending. The fact that she must ascend to the throne and end ‘Bella’s Story’ is also one of the many reasons.

But since there was no way to explain this, what came out of my mouth was, as always, Roel as a shield.

“Because she’s hyung’s girlfriend.”

Ellie sighed deeply. Frowning, she sent me a look that said she didn’t understand.

“Don’t you remember what Bella did to you…?”

“I know.”

“Knowing that…!”

Ellie grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly, as if telling me to come to my senses.

“I’m not telling you to kill her for me. It’s for Roel. If Bella is by his side, Roel will definitely be unhappy!”

“No, Roel needs Bella.”

A heroine who will do anything for the protagonist. A being who doesn’t hesitate to get her hands dirty, and creates a path stained with blood so that Roel can move forward.

A person who will take on the evil deeds that Roel, who should be loved by everyone, cannot do. A shield to take the reader’s criticism, and a heroine created to live only for Roel.

For Roel, Bella is a lover who is difficult to be comfortable with, and a mother who is clumsy in expressing herself.

“You’re saying that because you don’t know what Bella has done.”

I heard the sound of gnashing teeth. I guessed that there was another reason behind the request to kill Bella, judging from the clear hostility in her eyes.

I grabbed Ellie’s hands, which were holding my shoulders. I asked Ellie, who was looking at me with surprised eyes at the sudden contact.

“What’s the reason you want to kill Bella?”

“I told you. Bella did something unforgivable to you and gave you a big scar. If such a woman is by Roel’s side….”

“There’s another reason besides that, isn’t there?”

Ellie’s eyes wavered. Biting her lip, she glared at me with fierce eyes, as if wary of a stranger. But she didn’t pull away the hand I was holding.

Without avoiding her gaze, I waited silently, not urging Ellie to tell me the real reason. After hesitating for a while, Ellie lowered her face slightly. With her eyes downcast, Ellie barely spoke.

“I’m being bullied….”

The moment I heard those words, I felt like my chest was being crushed by something. My tongue felt swollen in my mouth, and my mouth wouldn’t open. I couldn’t bring myself to offer words of comfort. In the first place, I didn’t even have the right to.

“At first, it was okay. I just thought, ‘There are a lot of people who don’t want to be friends with me,’ and moved on. I thought that if I tried as always, it would be okay. But one day, my roommate called me aside and asked me a favor. ‘Please. Don’t talk to me anymore,’ she said.”

Her voice was sorrowful. With a tearful voice, Ellie continued to speak with difficulty.

“So I asked her why. Why was she doing this? Did I do something wrong?”

Ellie raised her head. Her obsidian eyes, wet with tears, were reflecting me. Without realizing it, I tightened my grip on her hand.

“There’s a rumor going around that the Crown Princess doesn’t like me. A second-year senior even came to the classroom when I wasn’t there and told them to distance themselves from me…. So I went directly to Bella and asked her. Why are you doing this to me…? Do you know what Bella said with a smile?”

Ellie gave me a sad smile. Ellie leaned against me as if collapsing, and whispered softly.

“She said she was curious if you would be hurt if you, who likes me, knew this fact.”

My emotions were calm. Unlike usual, I wasn’t swept away by something surging and losing my reason. However, one side of my chest had been aching since a while ago. As if there was a huge hole.

“I endured it for you. I was worried that you would have a harder time if you, who had lost your memory, knew this fact…. There were many days when I couldn’t talk to anyone. But it was okay. I was confident that I could become the top student of the year, and I could wait for you to come back…. But you became someone else’s lover?”

Ellie, who had been panting as she continued to speak, finally couldn’t bear it and buried her face in my arms and cried out loud. I silently accepted her resentment towards me on her trembling shoulders.

“I endured for you, I held back for you, I could have done that for you! You, you can’t do this to me… you have to like me as always!!!”

Perhaps it was because she buried her face in my arms and spat out her resentment. My heart was pounding, and I felt like I was going to stop breathing.

I had never thought about how hard it had been for Ellie all this time. It was ridiculous for me, a mediocre student, to worry about a genius who had the talent to become a great archmage in the future.

“Now do you know why I told you to kill Bella?”

Looking at Ellie, who raised her head and looked up at me, I opened my mouth with difficulty.

“Still… I can’t.”

I don’t think my voice was cold. But Ellie’s expression froze at my answer. I could feel her grip tightening.

“I, I’ve had such a hard time… and you still can’t…?”

To Ellie, who was stuttering and sending me a bewildered look, I replied in a heavy voice.

“Yeah.”

As if she was speechless, Ellie bit her lip and pulled away her hand with a look full of betrayal.

“The Crown Princess’s position must be good, huh? Enough to forgive even though the person you liked was being bullied? Why, are you doing this because you think something will fall on you if Roel does well with Bella?”

The pain in my chest felt even greater at Ellie’s sharp voice, which was blaming me. I felt like my chest had been stabbed by the blade of her words.

If I didn’t have Indomitable Courage, what would I have done? I probably wouldn’t have been able to refuse Ellie’s request, and I might have killed Bella without thinking about the consequences.

“No, it’s the same reason as before. I can’t kill the person Roel loves. I know you’ve had a hard time. I can’t kill Bella, but I can prevent her from doing such things in the future. If you want, I can drag her in front of you and make her kneel and apologize.”

Bella is the heroine of the original story. She has roles to play and stories left to tell. Even if I hate her, even if I think I want to kill her. In the end, I can’t do that.

The more Bella is alive, the more the story flows according to the original. Everyone will have a happy ending. That’s what I wanted.

“You… don’t tell me you have feelings for Bella?”

Ellie gave me a look of disbelief. I sighed and shook my head.

“There’s no way.”

Ellie lowered her head at my firm answer.

Once again, I heard the host’s shout and the cheers of the audience from outside. Unlike the thick silence between us, it was a roar full of heat.

After a while, I heard Ellie’s weak voice.

“Really… is that the reason?”

“Yeah.”

“If it’s hard to kill Bella, then help me kill her. If you just transfer the magic to Bella’s back like you did with the Black Wizard last time, I can kill her without leaving any traces.”

I had no choice but to remain silent at Ellie’s words, which were trying to persuade me.

Everything that Ellie had been struggling with so far was all my fault. It was also because of me that Roel rejected Ellie, and that Bella bullied her. It was all caused by me.

Perhaps it was because of Indomitable Courage, but although I couldn’t feel it. I instinctively knew that guilt and a strong impulse were seething from the bottom of my emotions.

“…I’m sorry.”

At my answer, Ellie, who had been in my arms, pulled away. As the warmth I had felt through my clothes disappeared, a faint sense of loss remained in its place, as if I had been burned.

“Bella unfairly dragged you to the interrogation room and made you lose your memory, and she made me a victim of bullying, and you still can’t…?”

I nodded to Ellie, who was asking in a low voice as if confirming.

“Yeah.”

As if mocking my answer, Ellie twisted one corner of her mouth.

“Bella suddenly called me before the grade test started.”

I frowned at her sudden words. What had Bella done to Ellie again?

“Bella wasn’t the only one there. Your lover Luna was also there.”

I wasn’t flustered by Ellie’s words and quickly retraced my memories. I checked if Luna had ever told me that she had met Bella, but nothing came to mind at all. Was Ellie lying?

“Bella showed us the test papers that would be on the exam. She told us to show loyalty to her, and if we did, she would guarantee Roel’s top spot as well. She threatened us that if we refused, not only would we not be able to get the top spot, but our academy life would also become very difficult.”

Thinking of Bella threatening Ellie and Luna, I clenched my fists. I gritted my teeth at the urge to hit a wall or something with all my might. Could it be that Bella had reached out to Luna as well? Anxiety took up a corner of my mind.

“As I said before, I was confident that I could become the top student of the year. So, of course, I refused. I don’t know what choice Luna made. I left that place right away. I knew it when I saw them all trying to eliminate me in the survival test as if they had planned it in advance. Bella had made a move to prevent me from becoming the top student, just like she had warned.”

At Ellie’s words, Aria’s words came to my mind. She said that she saw them all attacking Ellie, but she was eliminated instead….

As I realized that Ellie’s words were true, thoughts about Luna came to my mind. If Luna had received such an offer from Bella, what choice would she have made?

Before long, I was able to understand the meaning of the incomprehensible words that Lucia, the top student of the Department of Magic, had said to me when I faced her in the round of 8.

The reason why Lucia was able to become the top student.

Luna refused Bella’s offer.

“So I was curious. What choice did Luna make? I was able to find out later. Like me, Luna was also attacked as soon as the test started.”

I couldn’t express exactly what I was feeling right now. My head was quietly maintaining reason, while my heart was beating like crazy. Caught between anger and calmness, I might have been making a terrible expression.

Looking at me like that, Ellie said in a voice full of ridicule.

“What do you think Bella, who found out that you like Luna, would have done? That’s right, Luna is being bullied like me. Because that would hurt you.”

Now, I think I know why my heart is beating like crazy.

Hiding behind Indomitable Courage. It was screaming instead of the pathetic me, who couldn’t even scream myself.