Power

Suddenly, I remembered our first meeting.

The person who filled my heart with emotion the moment I first met them.

The person who completely shattered my resolutions and plans, making me be dragged around by my emotions.

Even knowing it was a predetermined ruin, I felt happiness looking at Ellie.

And that was….

Still the same even now.

As if urging me for an answer, Ellie’s obsidian eyes stared at me. I stupidly parted my lips, then repeated closing them again.

While looking into Ellie’s eyes, I suddenly felt a sense of unease. It was an emotion I had only thought of as strange back then.

Because I didn’t know about Ross, and I had no memories either.

I just felt a question about the buried emotion.

Why did I.

While feeling gladness and longing for Ellie….

Why did I feel sadness and guilt?

I thought it was guilt caused by plotting a sinister plan to put Ellie in trouble.

But why the sadness?

“Judging by your lack of response… I guess Ross still likes me?”

A sarcastic smile formed on Ellie’s lips. Quick-witted Ellie noticed that I still had feelings for her just by observing my expression.

“You like me, but I like Roel Oppa, so you’re dating a girl named Luna as a substitute?”

“No, that’s not it.”

I answered immediately. My feelings for Luna were completely genuine. It had nothing to do with Ellie.

“Really? Are you sure?”

Ellie frowned and asked sarcastically.

“Even though you can’t take your eyes off me like this?”

Ellie’s hand touched my chest. Startled, I flinched, and a victor’s smile was vivid on Ellie’s face.

My feelings for Ellie were like an instinct to me. Like the appetite that suddenly makes you want to eat something sweet, a possessive desire to make her mine boiled within me.

“That’s right. I still have feelings for you.”

I no longer tried to clumsily deceive Ellie. Quick-witted Ellie would notice my lies.

I was afraid of the warmth I felt from Ellie’s hand touching my chest. Afraid that it would swallow the other warmth inside me. Afraid of that, I pushed her hand away.

The crowd’s cheers are heard beyond the window. It was like the timing was praising my actions.

The names of Ilia and Roel were often heard in the cheers. Right now, the 2nd-year top student finals must be unfolding outside.

I closed my eyes for a moment and leaned back in my chair.

The cheers I hear, the echoing ground.

Ellie’s gaze looking at me.

Pushing those away, I thought of Luna, who would be cheering for me with the club members somewhere.

Her, who would have struggled to lift her still-uncomfortable left hand and cheered for me until her voice was hoarse.

With just that, the wavering disappeared.

As if it had never happened, my old instinct, which was no different from a habit, was easily suppressed by new emotions. The resolutions that had collapsed in my heart took their place once again.

[Indomitable Courage is activated.]

Seeing the message that appeared when I opened my eyes, I smiled without realizing it. Only with this much resolve, I thought, can I truly face Ellie.

Calm emotions. Even when I turned my head and looked into Ellie’s eyes, there was no agitation.

“Ross, let’s go back to how we used to be. Let’s not harm others with our feelings, and you can just like me like you used to. That’s right.”

Looking at Ellie’s happy smile, I stared silently for a moment. Now that I had pushed away my feelings for Ellie, I was curious about the question that remained in my head.

Why did I feel sadness for you?

“There’s something I want to ask about the past.”

“Yeah, ask me anything.”

“Did I ever confess to you?”

At my words, Ellie lowered her head slightly. She fidgeted with her hands placed on her thighs and answered in a calm voice.

“Yeah, it happened a few times.”

Several possibilities that could answer my question came to mind at Ellie’s answer. I asked about one of them.

“Did you reject me because of your feelings for Hyung-nim?”

“Huh…?”

Ellie froze as if she had turned to stone, staring at me without moving. After taking some time to sort out her thoughts, Ellie’s frozen lips parted.

“That’s not it. I didn’t have any intention of dating anyone back then, and you were a good friend… I was afraid that a long friendship would end for nothing.”

I immediately asked Ellie, who was speaking as if making excuses, again.

“Then why did you say let’s go back to how we used to be? You like Hyung-nim now, don’t you?”

Ellie bit her lip at my words. Did she realize the error in her words? I didn’t want to make unnecessary criticisms, so I hoped that was the case.

“That’s right, I like Roel. But your plan worked out well, and I was rejected. Now that I know the reason, I have to correct it back to the original, right? Don’t tell me… you’re not going to help me?”

I shook my head at Ellie’s anxious voice.

“No, of course, I’ll help you get together with Roel.”

As the original flow should be, Roel and Ellie had to become lovers.

“As expected, Ross is kind.”

Looking at Ellie, who was giving a pretty smile, I was able to find the answer to the question I had been holding.

Knowing my feelings, and the reason why she wanted to go back to the old relationship even though she liked Roel.

It was because Ross was kind to Ellie.

Even if his sincerity was rejected, even if his heart was used. Ross was kind to Ellie.

Even if she didn’t like him, even if she never looked back.

Ross looked at Ellie.

Like a match girl lighting a match to find warmth with her frozen hands, all that a lump of inferiority complex, who was shunned by everyone, could get close to was….

Only Ellie.

Once one question was resolved, the question linked to it was resolved as well.

Ross’s sadness was not because the woman he loved liked his inferiority-complex-inducing Hyung-nim.

It was because he realized that Ellie had been comfortably using him for a long time with the word “kind.”

And yet, when that warmth looked at him, like a girl who found happiness in a small match.

He felt sadness at feeling happiness with just that.

I sighed and ran a hand over my face once. Now that the question had been resolved, it was time to solve the problem.

“The only feeling left for you is guilt.”

“Huh…?”

Ellie, who didn’t understand the context of the words I blurted out, asked back in a flustered voice. I said in a low voice.

“It’s just guilt for my mistakes. Luna is not your substitute, and she can’t be.”

Cracks appeared on Ellie’s face. Ellie, who seemed shocked, lowered her head and trembled slightly.

“I see, so that’s how it was…. Ross has changed a lot since losing his memories. It’s really… unfamiliar.”

“The sad memories, the sad relationship you told me to forget… that was you.”

Ellie raised her head and looked at me. Her trembling gaze couldn’t find its way and shook back and forth. She looked pitiful, but I only added words to convey my sincerity.

“If you and Roel become lovers, I want to forget you now. For each other’s sake.”

Was she shocked that the sunflower that only looked at her had turned its head elsewhere?

Ellie lowered her head for a while without saying a word, thinking about something.

But the waiting room was not engulfed in silence. Rather, the loud cheers of the audience from outside were so loud that my ears hurt.

It seems the winner has been decided. The sighs of the disappointed gamblers can be heard all the way here.

As I was wearing a bitter smile, Ellie got up from her chair. Then, she leaned her upper body and hugged me.

Despite having indomitable courage at that sudden action, I felt like my whole body had stiffened.

“Ross, then can you do me one favor so I can get along with Roel?”

It was a sweet voice. I remembered that she had used this kind of voice when she had asked me for favors in the past. I couldn’t see what kind of expression Ellie was making because it was hidden by my shoulder.

I wondered if the Ross of the past had been used like this every time. Rejecting the scent and warmth I felt from Ellie, I asked with a bitter smile.

“What is it?”

Ellie released the arms that were hugging me. However, she still leaned her upper body and brought her face closer.

Ellie, who had come so close that our breaths mingled, gave a beautiful smile and whispered to me.

“What do you think is the reason why we ended up like this?”

Was she trying to get revenge for what happened a little while ago? Ellie threw a question without context.

“It must be because we used each other’s feelings.”

“That’s right, but that wasn’t a big problem for us.”

I frowned at Ellie’s words. Was she being serious?

That deceiving and hurting each other wasn’t a big problem.

As if she had read my expression, Ellie answered sarcastically.

“You knew it from the start, didn’t you? That we had different feelings for each other.”

Yes, so Ross suggested to Ellie. To use him to approach Roel.

What kind of heart did Ross have when he told the person he liked to use his heart as usual?

It was not easy to guess.

“But you couldn’t give up on me. You always liked me… you only looked at me. Even after being rejected by me, you hovered around me as if nothing had happened!”

Ellie’s breath felt hot. Her obsidian eyes were filled with faint tears. As if pouring out her soaring emotions, Ellie grabbed my shoulders and shouted.

“I trusted you! That you would like me again as always! That even if you lost your memories, your heart would remain the same! That you would come back to me soon!!!”

Ellie’s hands pounded on my chest. I waited for Ellie to finish speaking without any reaction.

Tears welled up and flowed down her cheeks. I just watched it.

“It’s all… because of that bitch. If you hadn’t lost your memories… we would have been the same as before.”

There was a thick emotion in Ellie’s gaze and voice as she muttered that.

Ellie’s fingers touched my lips. Gently stroking my lips, Ellie whispered while meeting my teary gaze.

“So kill Bella for me.”

I couldn’t even think about what kind of expression I was making after hearing those words. However, Ellie only smiled softly while looking at me and added words.

The words that always moved Ross, as always.

“You’re kind, after all.”