Looking Back

Rosalyn, along with Ilia, moved the unconscious Ross to the infirmary. Nurse Joy, who was in charge of the infirmary, said it was a common occurrence due to students overdoing it at the ball, and gave Ross a simple fatigue recovery potion.

While Nurse Joy went to take care of other students who had passed out from drinking, Rosalyn used magic to examine Ross’s body.

Confirming that all of Ross’s physical abilities had drastically declined and he was weakened, Rosalyn blamed herself, thinking it was because he had endured harsh interrogation.

,I should have trusted him….

Rosalyn felt a great sense of guilt for not telling Roel the truth because she had been swayed by Bella’s words.

Having even watched Ross collapse in front of her, Rosalyn couldn’t hold back the tears that were pouring out.

While Rosalyn was apologizing to Ross in her heart, Ilia, who had gone to find Ellie whom Ross had been looking for before he fainted, finally returned to the infirmary with Ellie.

Perhaps she had come to the infirmary suddenly, Ellie, who was in her pajamas, asked in a flustered voice at the sight of Ross lying on the bed, sweating profusely.

,W-What happened?

,He, he suddenly collapsed…. Nurse Joy said it was because he was tired.

In response to Rosalyn’s answer, Ellie immediately sat down on the chair next to the bed and took out a towel from the drawer next to the bed to wipe the cold sweat from his face.

,I’ll be here with him. Thank you for letting me know.

At Ellie’s words, Rosalyn glanced at Ross on the bed once and, feeling guilty, left the infirmary with Ilia as if running away.

***

I felt an immense sense of fatigue. It was as if I had forced myself to sleep for a day.

Feeling a stiff neck and a headache, I slowly opened my eyes. I heard someone’s voice.

,Ross, are you awake?

As soon as I realized that the owner of the voice was Ellie, I felt as if my headache was disappearing.

,Ellie…?

Looking out the window, I could tell that a lot of time had passed, as even the moonlight was not visible.

I raised my body halfway and turned my gaze to Ellie, who was sitting on the chair next to the bed. I could see from Ellie’s tired face that she had been by my side all night.

,Ross.

I felt a strange sense of unease at Ellie’s voice, which was not her usual bright voice but seemed to be soaked in deep emotion.

,Why…?

Ellie’s face, visible through the light of the small lamp next to the bed, looked very serious.

,We’re friends… so we shouldn’t lie to each other. Right…?

Ellie’s last words sounded like she was about to cry, with a hint of moisture in her voice.

Sensing a different atmosphere than usual, I remembered that the restriction had been activated before I lost consciousness.

Could it be that Ellie found out that I possessed Ross’s body?

Swallowing hard due to tension, I nodded with difficulty. Ellie let out a deep sigh.

,There’s something I want to confirm with you… but before that, there’s one thing I want to ask you first.

,What is it…?

At my question, Ellie fidgeted with her fingers on her lap.

,Bella-sunbae came to me before. She said she wanted to hear the details about what happened in Destin Village. She said she would give me a separate reward, so I praised you a lot. I really don’t know what would have happened if it weren’t for you.

Was there magic in her voice? I could feel the vivid emotions contained in Ella’s voice.

,But when I suddenly heard that you had endangered us and were dragged into the interrogation room for cooperating with a black magician… I thought I was going crazy….

Ellie’s voice changed from before as she recalled the emotions of that time, her voice moist with emotion, and tears welled up in her eyes as if she was about to cry.

,The, the you that I know would never do that. So I thought there must be some kind of misunderstanding.

It wasn’t just empty words, Ellie truly believed in me as a person. I could feel it in her gaze, even without her saying it.

,So when I heard that you were dragged into the interrogation room because of a misunderstanding, I was so happy… I was so relieved.

As if suppressing the rising emotions, Ellie’s breath felt hot. Looking at Ellie, who was looking at me with teary eyes, I could only listen with my mouth shut.

,I was a little empty when I realized that writing the petition all night was because of my misunderstanding… but rather, I was really grateful that you weren’t hurt…. I could write petitions for you for years….

Her voice was gradually fading as she was immersed in emotion, but my ears did not miss Ellie’s voice.

I knew through Bella that Ellie had written a petition for me. The stack of papers brought to the interrogation room was all petitions that Ellie had written for me.

After getting out of the interrogation room, Ellie, whom I met the next day, looked tired from staying up all night writing the petition, but she didn’t take any credit for the fact that I wasn’t dragged into the interrogation room and just smiled happily.

Ellie, who had been fidgeting with her fingers, carefully reached out her hand to me. At that sight, I turned my hand over to show her my palm, and Ellie grabbed my hand.

,Ross, please… tell me the truth?

Seeing Ellie worrying about me, I felt a pain as if one corner of my heart was being crushed. Was this regret, or guilt? I couldn’t tell.

It was difficult to maintain my sanity because of the emotions that I could vividly feel when I was with Ellie. Even though I had indomitable courage.

,Yeah…. I’ll tell you the truth.

As I answered with anxiety and worry, Ellie squeezed the hand she was holding and asked.

,You lost your memory…?

Sending a slightly bewildered look at Ellie’s sudden question, she asked again.

,You have amnesia, right…?

At Ellie’s careful question, I finally regained my composure and thought about why Ellie was saying such nonsensical things, and I came to one conclusion.

Could it be that she believes I lost my memory because I was interrogated?

If my guess was correct, the restriction might have been activated because of Ellie’s ambiguous condition of belief.

Because Ellie believes that I have amnesia.

Even if it was a misunderstanding, Ellie’s ambiguous condition of belief was not about determining the truth.

,That’s right, I’ve lost most of my memories.

As I lowered my gaze, feeling guilty for deceiving Ellie, Ellie brought her face to the hand she was holding and burst into tears.

,Why, why did you lie…? If you told me the truth, I… I would have helped you somehow….

Ellie’s face, which she raised, was a mess with tears and snot, but I could feel a sense of joy rising in one corner of my heart that she was crying for me.

At that fact, as I felt disgust for myself, the fatigue and pressure that had been pressing down on my whole body disappeared in an instant, and I felt comfortable.

[Restriction has been lifted.]

I realized from the message in front of me that Ellie really mistook me for having amnesia.

I was wondering whether I should be happy about the fact that the past would no longer hold us back, when.

Ellie, who had been crying and pouring out her emotions for a while, looked at me with swollen eyes and sniffed.

,Then Bella-geunyeo is the one who spread the rumor that it was a misunderstanding?

I suddenly became curious at the sight of Ellie getting angry as if it were her own business.

What do you think of me?

You know my feelings, but you try to meet Roel and use my feelings, but you completely trust me.

How should I treat you?

Thinking of such questions, I answered Ellie’s words.

,I asked Bella to do it. So that hyung wouldn’t be harmed separately.

,What kind of stupid thing are you saying! You were unfairly dragged into the interrogation room, but hyung is important?

Seeing Ellie getting angry and crying again, I sighed.

The sense of inferiority that had always been in my heart suddenly burst out without warning – tuk.

,Hyung is more important to you than I am.

It was a voice that I couldn’t believe came out of my mouth. Ellie, who had been crying, looked at me with a dumbfounded expression at the voice that was filled with thick negative emotions.

,W-What did you just say…?

Even though I regretted Ellie’s shocked expression, the dam of emotions that had been building up burst because of the words that had been spoken.

,You knew I liked you, but you used me to get close to hyung. You were the one who used my feelings, Ellie.

Ellie trembled slightly and looked at me with fearful eyes, as if she had forgotten to breathe at my words.

,If I wasn’t Roel’s younger brother… we wouldn’t even be friends.

At my continued words, Ellie lowered her gaze and couldn’t stop crying.

Belatedly, deep regret came, and I tried to apologize to Ellie, but Ellie took out her hand that she was holding and wiped away the tears that were flowing down.

,You really don’t remember, Ross….

I felt like my heart was collapsing at the sight of Ellie smiling with a smile full of sadness.

,I’m sorry… my words….

,That’s right, I used you to get close to Roel.

Ellie said in a slightly cracked voice.

,I won’t do that anymore, I was really doing something bad to you right now. I’m sorry….

I shook my head at Ellie’s apology and tried to hold her back, but I couldn’t say anything as if my throat was blocked by my tongue at the sight of Ellie looking at me and forcing a smile while twitching her lips.

,The present is more important than the past…. We lost our precious memories… but I’m happy that you have made new good friends now and have a good relationship with hyung.

Ellie’s voice, saying that, was so kind that it touched the emotions hidden deep in my heart.

,Ross, I’ll always be on your side. So….

Ellie, as if she couldn’t control her emotions, raised her convulsing hand and struggled to stroke my head. Like a parent soothing a complaining child….

,Forget all the sad memories and sad relationships. I hope you start a new life at the Academy.

Ellie’s voice must have magic in it after all. Otherwise, there’s no way my vision would be blurred by the emotions that I feel so deeply.

Belatedly, I felt immense regret. Ellie had always believed in me… so why do I become so emotional in front of Ellie?

,No matter what you are, I’ll think of you as a friend for life…. Good night, Ross.

Through my blurred vision, I saw Ellie in her pajamas struggling to leave the infirmary.

I bit my lip to suppress the emotions that were soaring out of control at that sight, and pressed my eyes with my clenched fist.