Episode 84 – Sincerity
by Afuhfuihgs
*
Ed tossed the oil lantern onto the bedside table and swept back his hair.
Lara was still dangling in the air, struggling with her feet.
Lara was busy trying to create a gap to breathe by wedging her fingers between her neck and the chain, pulling it with all her might.
Ed stared coldly at Lara and slowly opened his mouth.
“It’s embarrassing to watch, so let me cover you up a bit.”
As soon as Ed finished speaking, chains sprang out from all directions and wrapped around Lara’s body.
Lara was startled by the cold sensation of the chains and the magic emanating from them, but she couldn’t resist much since her neck was hanging in the air.
Only after the chains had completely wrapped around Lara’s upper body down to her knees did the chain hanging her neck disappear.
Lara fell to the floor with a thud, offering no resistance.
“Keuheck, Ed, Ed.”
Lara called out Ed’s name and coughed repeatedly.
Frankly, Lara had briefly thought that she could overpower Ed with her strength, which was much weaker than she had expected, even if he refused her to the end.
However, Lara realized with her whole body that all of that was Ed’s consideration, hesitating to harm her until the very end.
She had been momentarily mistaken when he returned to his human form, but he was still an undead being with the Demon King inside him.
Ed slowly walked towards Lara, who was drooling and hacking while lying face down on the floor, bound tightly.
The expression on Ed’s face, as seen in Lara’s eyes, was terribly distorted.
Ed looked at Lara and said.
“Why are you going so far, Lara?”
“Kehk, hoo, Ed…”
“You say you like me, but you’re not listening to me at all. What’s that supposed to be?”
“…Because.”
“Huh?”
Lara bit her lip hard.
Her lip tore, and red blood moistened her lips.
Tears welled up like blood in Lara’s deep gray eyes and rolled down.
“Because I was scared, Ed.”
“Of what?”
“…Because it felt like I was the only one who couldn’t.”
“…You were the only one?”
“Because it felt like I was the only one you were rejecting. That was so scary.”
“…God damn it, hey, when did I ever reject only you? I told you before, even if it was Mella…”
“That’s a lie.”
“…”
“That’s a fucking, goddamn lie, Ed.”
The chains wrapped around Lara’s body were not meant to restrain her, but to cover her, so they were only covering her vital areas and not tightening to prevent her from moving.
With a clattering sound, Lara slowly lifted her upper body, still bound by the chains.
Lara slowly got up and walked to Ed, slamming her head into his chest.
As Lara’s head passed, her tears scattered and sprinkled like starlight.
“You only say that, but it’s not true, Ed. Do I look like a fool to you?”
“…What are you talking about?”
Thud!
Lara cried out as if spitting out a voice soaked in tears.
With each word she uttered, like a painful scream, she repeatedly hit her head against Ed’s chest.
“Then why do you suffer so much whenever you meet Mella?”
“…”
Thwack
“Why do you still dream of the family you might have had with Mella, the nonexistent children in that cabin in the woods?”
“…”
Thwack!
“Why do you still call Mella’s name in your sleep? Why? Why! I’m right here, so why?”
“…Lara.”
“That princess, Banata, and Lily… they’re all appealing to you, so why are you only picking on me? Why am I the only one who can’t? You say you don’t intend to accept anyone, so why are you only rejecting me!”
Lara buried her head in Ed’s chest and sobbed.
Ed couldn’t say anything.
Was he really acting like she said?
He was busy retracing his past actions.
“I, I also… I didn’t know either. Ed. I’m also upset. I really didn’t know that fucking bastard killed you! Even when you were alive, back in the old days, I yielded to Mella, so why am I still the only one who can’t now? Why? Why, why, why! Why only me! Why!”
“Lara…”
Lara’s tears were slowly soaking into Ed’s chest.
After a few minutes of only Lara’s sobbing being heard in the room, Ed, having reviewed all of his memories, slowly embraced Lara’s head.
“I’m sorry. Ellalanira. You’re right.”
“…Ugh, sob.”
Ed said Lara’s real name clearly and forcefully.
It was her real name that she had said she would only tell to her really close friends in the past.
Perhaps it was Ed’s last struggle.
A last struggle to find that friend from that time.
However, both Ed and Lara knew that such a thing would not happen.
Ed repeatedly pondered Lara’s words.
Indeed, it was true that Ed had not yet shaken off his lingering feelings for Mella.
Looking back on his actions, Lily, Ellie, and even Deborah would probably have noticed it.
Only he himself was turning a blind eye to the truth, claiming that it wasn’t so.
Ed blamed his own patheticness.
In the end, it was Ed himself who had driven Lara this far.
Ed began to speak, his tightly closed lips trembling.
“I guess I was scared too. Scared of the relationship with you, my closest friend, changing more than with anyone else. So, even though I had no intention of accepting you, I guess I didn’t want to let you go either.”
“…”
“I’m sorry, I was wrong all along, Lara.”
“…Ed.”
“Because I fell into a world 20 years after everything had changed, I selfishly expected you to be the only one who would treat me like in the old days, and I relied on you too much…”
“…”
“Even though I knew very well that you had changed in 20 years, even though I knew that the Lara I knew no longer existed.”
“…Huh?”
“I selfishly expected and selfishly deluded myself that you would be my friend until the end.”
“Ed?”
Lara, feeling that Ed’s words were heading in a slightly strange direction, slowly pulled her head away from Ed’s embrace and looked at him.
Ed’s face wore a very complicated expression.
Self-reproach, regret.
And a face that showed some kind of determination.
“It must have been hard for you all this time. That won’t happen anymore.”
“…What are you talking about, Ed?”
“…Lara, what will become of us… From now on, we won’t be able to live like we have until now, right?”
“Why are you saying that? Ed, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry for everything.”
“No, stop! Don’t say things like a farewell! Ed. It was my fault.”
Ed gave a pitiful expression and slowly stroked Lara’s tear-covered cheeks.
The touch was very pleasant, but at the same time, Lara sensed the energy of farewell from the trembling she felt at his fingertips, and she thrashed her chained body wildly and shouted.
“Stop it, Ed.”
“…”
“Ed, I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re trying to say, but don’t say it. Please, huh? It was my fault. I won’t do it again.”
Ed quietly shook his head.
“It’s not your fault at all. You were just deceived by Robin, and for some reason, you just happened to like me. But, I’ve somehow been ignoring it until now, but I can’t turn a blind eye anymore. So…”
“No! Stop talking!”
“Let’s stop now. Lara.”
“Ed!”
“When you confessed to me a long time ago, you told me that giving false hope is a bad thing. You were right. Of course, I didn’t intend to give you false hope or play with your feelings, but I had no idea that you were so tormented just by being by my side.”
“Please, please shut up. Ed. Stop, stop it.”
“Lara, you don’t have to stay by my side anymore. You don’t have to live in the Vortex Forest to find my corpse. From now on, just go wherever you want…”
“Next to you. What I want is next to you!”
“…”
Lara threw her body towards Ed.
Ed stopped speaking as he caught Lara’s body.
Lara, hugged in Ed’s arms, looked up at Ed with a desperate expression.
The ceaseless flow of tears overflowed beyond control, covering Lara’s entire face, and over that, Lara forced a smile and said.
“Don’t, don’t even think about letting me go like this. You… you’ll regret it. If you, if you abandon me, I’ll tell everything. To Robin.”
“…Lara.”
“No, no! No, Ed, I misspoke. It’s a lie. There’s no way I would do that, right? You think so too, right?”
“…Yeah, I believe you.”
“S, so please let me stay by your side. Huh? I won’t do it again in the future, never, never will I ask you to love me… to love me. S, ugh, sob.”
“…”
“…I won’t do it, ugh, sob, so please, let me stay by your side, please…Ed…”
Lara wept and slowly collapsed to her knees.
And then, she prostrated herself on the floor and used her head and legs instead of her bound arms to cling to Ed’s legs.
The pathetic appearance of Lara, who was a hero who saved the world and a ghost-like master of disguise, left an even bigger scar on Ed’s heart.
Lara’s face, which had flown through the trees with a refreshing expression and a pleasant smile, even looking like a fairy, was covered with a face that begged him pathetically and shed tears.
Ed felt so much misery at Lara’s fallen appearance that he raised his head to prevent tears from flowing.
“I just wanted something that hadn’t changed in this changed world… And I wanted that to be you.”
“…Ed, please don’t abandon me.”
“Why, why did you change so much… Why can’t I even get something like this? I, I…”
“E, Ed.”
“Where am I supposed to lean on…”
Lara couldn’t hear Ed’s words anymore, and she was bowing her head at Ed’s feet, constantly begging him not to abandon her.
Ed’s chest ached as if it were tearing apart.
So painful that Ed instantly drew the Holy Sword from his hand and threw it into the corner of the room.
Perhaps because he had become accustomed to it, it no longer took even a second to summon the Holy Sword by pouring divine power into his hand.
However, perhaps a little late, Ed ended up shedding tears.
It was miserable.
It was painful, sad, and resentful.
He killed Jennifer, and he finally thought that something was going right, that the end was near,
But no way.
There was no such thing.
Looking down at Lara, Ed suddenly felt a great sense of futility in all of this.
He killed Jennifer, but there was no victory.
Even if he killed Robin, it would be the same.
As he said in front of Deborah, he knew that this revenge was just to satisfy his own resentment,
But Ed couldn’t be sure whether it was Robin’s evil deeds that twisted and distorted everything he knew and loved, turning it into a miserable sight, or whether it was just the 20 years that had passed indifferently.
Ed picked up Lara.
Lara muttered like a mad person not to abandon her.
Ed removed the chains that wrapped around Lara’s body and picked up the blanket from the bed to cover Lara’s body.
When Ed’s hand lightly touched her, Lara looked at Ed with dazed eyes and asked in a very small voice.
“Ed…”
“…Yeah.”
“Why are you crying?”
“…Because I miss an old friend.”
Ed answered like that and led Lara to lie down on his bed.
He wrapped the blanket covering Lara’s body even more carefully, and Lara was peeking out of the blanket with only her face exposed, like a baby wrapped in a swaddle.
Ed sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Lara’s head.
“Ed…”
“…Yeah.”
“Is there really no way for me, no matter what I do?”
“…”
“I’ll really make you happy, huh?”
“…I can’t even think about that right now. It’s too painful.”
“Then, when everything is over, then? Ed, when everything is over, let’s live together in a cabin like you want. So, can’t you think about me too?”
“…When it’s all over. When a refreshing revenge ends that will allow me to forget all this pain, let’s think about it then, Lara. We have plenty of time anyway.”
“…Don’t abandon me.”
“…Okay.”
“Ed, I love you…”
“…”
Lara said those words and slowly fell asleep.
Ed slowly looked at the oil lamp.
Inside the lamp, a scented candle that helps with sleep was melting, giving off a hazy scent.
It was a scented candle that he had prepared to calm Lara down and have a calm conversation when he turned on the lamp, but rather, Lara had exhausted all her energy and thrown her whole heart at him, crashing into him and falling asleep.
Ed desperately felt how big and heavy Lara’s heart was, and he tore at his hair with both hands before squeezing his neck tightly with both hands.
He had become an undead being who couldn’t die or sleep, but his heart was very tired.
Even the fucking night was still a long way off.
.
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