episode_0051

Baek Ji-hwan.

At 37 years old this year, she’s feeling the crushing weight of her mundane life.

Her head feels foggy, her vision narrowed. She keeps forgetting what she was about to say, and some memories have vanished altogether. She has no appetite, and her sense of taste is dulled. Her emotional range has also diminished, as if her feelings have been blunted.

Her usual gentle smile is gone, replaced by a blank expression.

Her once-flowing hair has become dry and brittle, leading to nasty rumors among students and faculty: “Her husband is having an affair,” or “They’re getting a divorce.”

Normally, she would vehemently deny such claims, but now she lacks even the energy to do so.

Late in the evening, Baek Ji-hwan arrives home, her body weary.

She opens the front door to find a man in an apron waiting for her.

“Welcome home. Must be tired, huh?”

“…Oppa.”

“Give me your coat, go wash up. I’ll get dinner ready.”

He gently embraces Baek Ji-hwan as he speaks.

As promised, delicious aromas wafted from the kitchen.

However, her appetite remained absent; she wanted to refuse dinner.

“Um, no. I’m not hungry…”

“…That’s what you’ve said for four days now. You need to eat tonight.”

“…I’m really, really okay. I… I’ll just go wash up first.”

Baek Ji-hwan disengages herself from the man and heads to the bathroom.

Naked under the showerhead, she turns on the water. Warm water immediately cascades down, filling the bathroom with a hazy steam.

Lacking appetite and a dulled sense of taste, eating felt like chewing on modeling clay. The gritty, dry sensation, like chewing sand, mud, or perhaps rubber, completely suppressed the desire to eat.

For her, unable to taste anything, eating was excruciating, like torture.

Of course, for the first few days, she forced herself to eat. It was food prepared by her beloved husband—her undeniably beloved husband—so she ate it, no matter what.

But after repeatedly vomiting everything she ate, she gradually began skipping meals. Perhaps she only managed to get essential nutrients from things like konjac jelly.

Because of this, she’s perpetually tired, overwhelmed with stress, but clinging to the hope that things will get better.

She considered confiding everything to her husband, but… is that the right answer?

“…What is the right answer?”

Is it already too late?

Should she have spoken sooner? Then… Ha-yeon… my student… that child… will she be punished?

“I don’t know… I don’t know…!”

Thump.

She bangs her head against the damp wall.

Her vision blurs as her brain throbs.

“Ugh…!”

Struggling to suppress the rising nausea, she lathers the towel.

The scratchy towel touches her skin. Baek Ji-hwan blankly continues lathering her body.

“Honey, are you asleep?”

“…”

“Honey?”

“…Ah.”

Her husband’s voice from outside the door. Only then does Baek Ji-hwan look at the towel she’d been using to scrub her arm.

The lather stings the slight cut that’s beginning to appear.

“…I’ll be out.”

A weak voice. She hangs up the heavy, wet towel and begins to rinse the remaining soap from her body.

Immediately snapping herself out of the stupor brought on by the warm water, she shakes her head vigorously.

She takes a long towel and dries her body and hair. She puts on the underwear and blouse her husband brought, and lets the warm hairdryer dry her.

Her husband’s hand touches her hair.

In her hazy state, she realizes he’s drying her hair.

His face looks somewhat wistful, an expression he usually wears when troubled.

“Why…? What’s wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing. Just… no. Maybe… I don’t know.”

“Tell me. Okay?”

Baek Ji-hwan said softly.

His face is etched with fatigue. Lately it had been almost perpetually expressionless, but now held a faint smile.

They went to the living room.

Her husband moved towards the living room first, and Baek Ji-hwan followed.

Her husband sat on the living room sofa, his arms resting on his knees and his body leaning forward.

Baek Ji-hwan stood before him.

“Honey.”

“Yes, what is it?”

He started to speak, then stopped.

Baek Ji-hwan waited patiently for him to continue.

“Lately… have you been struggling?”

Her husband said.

“No, it’s just… lately I haven’t been eating well, and I’ve been sleeping a lot… so…”

“…Yeah, I’m a little… tired, maybe.”

“Re…ally?”

Her husband looked at Baek Ji-hwan.

His expression was unreadable. What did he want? She couldn’t imagine.

Baek Ji-hwan stared back at her husband.

He’d changed so much.

Or perhaps, it was she who had changed.

Her standards had risen, perhaps. She no longer found him… attractive as a man.

Of course, they weren’t newlyweds who constantly had sex. They’d been married for quite some time, and only hadn’t had children by choice. Over ten years of dating, already eight years into their marriage. Having children had been entirely their decision.

They had faced a few periods of marital stagnation, and even periods without sex.

But never before had her husband seemed so…unattractive.

Her standards had gotten too high.

Her body… had come to know a superior male.

Betraying love after only having sex once. Baek Ji-hwan had thought it was just a story in a doujinshi.

But no. It wasn’t an exaggeration at all.

Looks, height, that, and perhaps even wealth. She’d come to know a truly superior male in every aspect.

“Honey.”

“Yes.”

“Maybe…”

After that incident, Baek Ji-hwan had researched futanari.

She learned about alpha types, and realized Ha-yeon was one of them.

She learned that the semen of alpha types was used as a component in some drugs.

But the semen itself supposedly wasn’t addictive.

Then… what was this?

This that I’m experiencing… this isn’t addiction?

As these thoughts swirled in her mind, her husband’s voice cut through.

The voice that usually calmed her was now unsettling her even more.

“Do you know about… netorare…?”

“…Huh?”

Her husband’s words were… more shocking than she’d expected.

He got down from the sofa, kneeling on the floor as he continued.

“That… a husband letting another man…”

“I know that. But… why…? Why?”

“…I… thought it would be a new way.”

“…This? Me… sleeping with another man besides you… you thought that would solve things? What things?”

Netorare, out of the blue? What… was he saying?

Baek Ji-hwan wondered if what she was hearing was actually true.

What kind of thinking could lead to such a conclusion?

“We’re both so tired, aren’t we? It’s a kind of, sexless… relationship, too.”

“…So?”

“When you’re sexless, I read that netorare can solve that…”

“That’s your reason…? That’s it…?”

Her husband hung his head.

She was furious.

He’d drawn his conclusions without considering her thoughts or her troubles.

But conversely… she saw an opportunity.

A way to legitimize what she’d experienced. A way to blame her current state on netorare.

She knew it was a foolish idea.

But… just in case.

‘Am I… smiling?’

She cautiously brought her hand to her mouth.

Her lips were definitely turned upward. She quickly covered her mouth, then glanced at her husband.

Thankfully, he had his head down, and seemed not to have noticed.

“I’ll… think about it.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Let’s just sleep. I’m so tired.”

“…Okay. Should I go to bed first? I’ll… be in later.”

Baek Ji-hwan agreed, her hand still covering her mouth, and quickly went to the bedroom.

She lay down on the stiff bed and closed her eyes.

As her eyelids fluttered shut, the thoughts that clung to her husband’s words began to surface.

The semen of alpha futanari doesn’t have addictive properties, she’d read.

But what she was experiencing was definitely a sign of addiction.

Loss of appetite, insomnia, tremors, paranoia, hallucinations, sensory impairment… it’s clearly addiction.

Why?

How come?

Of course, the internet could be wrong. But she’d even looked up related research papers. They all said clearly that the semen of alpha futanari wasn’t addictive.

“Could it be…”

With trembling hands, she switched on her phone.

The phone’s light flashed in the darkened room.

She opened her messenger app and tapped on the name ‘Ha-yeon’.

Their conversation appeared.

Scrolling up, she saw the picture of herself in a disheveled state.

“Ah… so, that’s it.”

She looked at Ha-yeon’s profile picture.

Her heart started pounding. Faster than ever before. Feeling her heart beat rapidly, painfully fast, Baek Ji-hwan realized.

This… isn’t an addiction.

This was natural.

If a person is thirsty, they naturally look for water. If they don’t drink water for a long time, they become dehydrated. But that isn’t called ‘water addiction.’

“It’s the same thing.”

Her body needs it.

The semen of a futanari… of an alpha futanari.

Or more precisely, Ha-yeon’s semen.

Her body had determined that she couldn’t live without it.

“…I said I couldn’t escape… It’s true.”

Baek Ji-hwan closed her phone and wiped away her tears.

Her husband, she didn’t know when, was lying beside her.

“Oppa.”

“Yes…?”

“I’ll… do it.”

“…What?”

“Netorare. I’ll… do it…”

Oppa, her husband, wouldn’t do it once and stop. He’d definitely do it two or three times.

And there’s no way he wouldn’t introduce her to Ha-yeon.

‘I, I’m a bad woman.’

“…It doesn’t matter.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“Um, nothing. Nothing at all.”

It doesn’t matter if I’m a bad woman.

Being a good sex toy is enough…

It’ll… definitely be enough…